One Of Her And Four Of Us
Waking up the next morning, I feel more rested than I have in months, but that’s quickly crushed when I realize that Mav left me alone at some point in the night. Pulling myself together, I shake off the ominous feeling sitting in my gut. I don’t hear anything in the house still, so I’m hoping to make it up to my room without getting caught. This feels too much like a walk of shame, even though nothing happened. Have I mentioned just how un-fucking-lucky I am?
As I round the corner of the kitchen, Lucas and I almost run straight into each other. He smiles down at me until his eyes do a once over my body then look over my shoulder from the room that I just came from. There couldn’t possibly be more shock showing on his face. I know what he’s thinking and my face flames. It automatically puts me on the defensive. Tapping the bottom of his chin, I try to get him to shut his mouth that had popped open and walk around him.
I don’t see any of the other guys and I take my time getting ready. When I finally make it down, they are waiting for me in the living room area. Mav avoids my eyes and I’m not going to lie, it stings. Lucas must see something on my face, because his usual smile turns into a frown and he glares at Maverick.
Trying to break the tension, I ask, “So, what are we doing today?”
Teagan is completely oblivious, “Well, that’s what we were sitting here trying to decide.”
Goose looks at the floor and it sets off my radar, “What is it?”
Maverick meets my eyes for the first time with his mask back into place. All traces of the person he was last night are gone, “It snowed all night, so it might be a rough ride up to the resort where we’re supposed to be going.”
It takes a second for it to click, “Would you guys make the trip if I wasn’t here?”
I’m looking toward Mav and Goose on the couch. Goose shrugs trying not to answer as Mav simply says, “Yes.”
“Problem solved then,” I say. “Go without me.”
Lucas stands up, “No, now wait a minute. We would be gone all day, and we’re not just going to leave you up here by yourself.”
His gentlemanly attitude makes me smile, “As much as I love the snow, I truly despise being cold.” I hold my hands palm up and act as if I’m weighing things, “Falling on my ass and freezing all day, trying to keep up with you guys on the slopes compared to being comfy and warm in front of the fireplace. Not even a competition. Besides, I’m not exactly alone. Ryleigh and Eddie are here.”
“Are you sure?” he asks warily.
When I nod, Teagan’s blonde hair bobs as he jumps up, “Yes!”
I try not to laugh, but it’s impossible. They get up to leave and Maverick walks out without a word or look behind him. Teagan picks me up and swings me around before kissing me on the cheek, “You’re the best.”
Goose waits until he follows Mav out the door before coming to me and placing his hands on either side of my face, “If you change your mind, just let us know and one of us will come get you.” I nod, and he kisses my forehead.
Lucas takes my hand and pulls me straight from Goose into his arms. He leans down and kisses my cheek close to my ear before they follow the other two out.
I go to the window and watch them go down the short driveway. Waiting until I don’t see them anymore, I go into the kitchen to make some breakfast. While I eat, I check my phone again to make sure that I haven’t heard from Gramps. Nothing. No news is good news, right?
It isn’t until after I’m done with breakfast that I start to wonder what the actual fuck I’m going to do with my day. I try to read for a little while, but it can’t hold my attention. Plus, whoever this cabin belongs to apparently isn’t a big reader. There are no good books here. The cable picks up pretty good surprisingly, but after a few hours, my attention is elsewhere again. Ryleigh comes out once to heat up some soup for Eddie and promises to return. That was over an hour ago, and I’m starting to go stir crazy.
I’m exploring the rooms of the cabin when I find a map of the area. There’s some hiking and horseback trails right off the side of the house. If nothing else, maybe I can get some good pictures in. Plus, I’ll be close enough to the cabin to run back if I start getting really cold.
I bundle up, and decide that I look like a fluffed-up marshmallow once I’ve got all my gear on. I wrap the camera around my neck and stuff it underneath my jacket. I’d feel horrible if I fell or it got wet somehow and got broken, even if Mav is being an ass.
I put a bottle of water in one of the front pockets of my jacket and the map in the other. Contemplating leaving a note for the guys, I decide against it. I’ll be back long before they will. I give my phone another once over before tucking it in the same pocket as the map.
Once I’m outside, I take a deep breath of the cold crisp air. Makes no sense, but it’s almost as if I can taste the mountain in that one breath. It’s invigorating. The trail isn’t hard to find and from there, I just follow the carvings on the trees, stopping every so often to take a picture or two. There’s supposed to be a small stream around here somewhere. I’m sure that it’s frozen in these temperatures, but my curiosity has the best of me. When I do finally find it, I’m surprised to see that the water is still flowing. It may be slow and filled with ice and snow, but it’s still beautiful all the same. I want to follow it up to see if there’s a waterfall somewhere close, but I’m not stupid enough to leave the trail.
I take my time walking around the area and putting Mav’s camera to use, trying my best not to think about the hole that I’ve dug myself with the quad. After a while, my stomach starts growling and I realize that I forgot to bring food. Even with me as cold as I am, I haven’t wanted to turn back, but I’m fucking starved. Walking around in twenty pounds of extra clothes must require extra fuel.
The trip back to the cabin seems shorter than earlier. Walking out of the tree line, I find the Rover back in its place. I wasn’t expecting the guys to beat me home, but I’m definitely not going to complain about it. I’ve missed them today.
“Thank fucking god,” Teagan says from the porch as I round the house.
I don’t even have time to say anything before he jumps the railing and lands in front of me. He rushes me and when I lose my footing, we hit the snow hard. A laugh bubbles from my lips, but it’s quickly swallowed by his.
It’s an amazing feeling to have someone miss me so much. However, Mav’s voice ruins the moment, “Glad to see that you’re fucking alive.”
I jerk as far away from Teagan as I can as I try to sit up, “Mav?”
He shakes his head and walks away.
After last night and doing his best to avoid me today, I’m pretty pissed. Stomping after him, I yank him to a stop just inside the door, “Wait.”
I didn’t purposely use the same word as last night, but there’s a flicker of something there before anger takes over again, “Just leave it, Kendall.”
He starts to walk away again and it’s Teagan that pulls him back this time, “Dude, what the fuck is your problem?”
Maverick stops mid-step and turns back around, “My problem? My fucking problem?”
Goose and Lucas come around the side of the living room. They must have been in the kitchen.
“I’ll tell you what my problem is,” he says stalking back over. I back up away from him and run straight into Teagan. Mav points at me, “She’s my fucking problem. She’s been nothing but a fucking problem since you fucktards lost your shit over her a couple months ago.”
Lucas, always the peace keeper, steps up to the side of us, “That’s not true and you know it.”
Maverick laughs in his face, “You can’t sell me that shit man. The three of you have fallen all over yourselves for her. All she has to say is jump and you’ll ask how high.”
“I’ve never asked anything of you guys,” I whisper trying to fight the tears threatening to pour down my face.
He sneers at me, “You never have to. They do it anyways. You even had me going last night.” Looking at Teagan over my shoulder, he says, “That’s right. The girl that you’ve been stuck on for months, the same one you were about to fuck in the snow outside, shared a bed with me last night.”
My face gets hot at what he’s suggesting, and I lose the fight against the tears as they roll down my face.
Goose steps up behind Lucas, “You need to chill the fuck out, dude.”
“Or what?” Mav asks him, “You going to fight me? Whatever happened to bros before hoes?”
Lucas shoves him back and he crashes into the long table behind him, “Stop fucking talking about her like that.”
Mav’s fists ball up like he’s getting ready to punch something or someone, “You’re kidding me, right? Look at this bullshit. Prime example. I don’t know why any of you would even bother anyways. You going to sit here and honestly say that any of your families would be ok with you dating a girl from the fucking trailer park?”
He could have said anything else and it wouldn’t have hurt as bad as the knife that cuts through my chest at that. The only thing that could have softened the blow would have been one of them disagreeing with him, but they don’t. That says all that it needs to right there in that one moment.
Pulling away from Teagan, I make my way up the stairs ignoring their voices calling me back. I haven’t even made it all the way up before I hear the front door open and slam shut. Once I’m safely behind my locked door, I let out the anguish that’s sitting on my chest and suffocating me.
Hours later, out of tears and numb inside, I walk out on to the balcony. The guys must be out on the back porch of the cabin, because their voices travel up to me.
“We made this pact at the beginning of the year,” Maverick is saying. “The only way to get the fuck away from our parents is by getting into a good school. One that they don’t have to pay for. No fucking girls, remember? We all agreed that we’d focus on school and football to get our fucking scholarships. Girls are too much of a distraction. I can’t believe that any of us made it this long, but this is an even bigger mess. Coming to fucking blows over the same girl, it’s stupid and all kinds of fucked up. I talked to her, and she said that she just wanted friends, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. My mistake.”
I have to place a hand over my mouth to cover the sound of my sobbing.
Someone says something, but it’s so low that I can’t make out who said it.
Maverick sighs, “The best thing we can do is just put distance between us when we get home. You know what I said before was true anyways. Nothing would ever come from it. That’s not to even mention the math in the equation. One of her and four of us. Like I said, it’s best just to go ahead and cut ties now.”
I can’t listen to anymore. Each word is like a new open wound in my chest. Sneaking quietly back in, I lay back on the bed and ponder my options as leftover tears roll down the side of my face. I knew this shit was going to happen. I’m just as much as a dumb fuck as they are for even thinking about it. Even though I told myself that nothing was serious with any of them, it doesn’t help the clenching of my stomach anytime that I think about it.
My sadness eventually wears off, and anger replaces it. That old saying comes to mind, it takes two to tango, and how fucking true that shit is. I didn’t push to be friends. I never made the first move with any of them. And I damn sure didn’t ask for this shit. After what I’ve already been through, this should be a cakewalk. They don’t go to my school, so I never have to see their faces again if that’s what I choose.
In full rage mode, I’m on autopilot as I pack what little was taken out of my bag. I’m not even sure what all goes in or if I get everything. I just need to get out of here before I say things that I won’t be able to take back. I pace the floor waiting for them to go to bed. Luck is on my side for once, they’re in bed before nine. I hear all of their doors shut and I count in my head. I’m going to try Ryleigh first, because I doubt any cabs would run up here.
I open the door to my room and almost scream. Ryleigh is standing there with her hand raised to knock. She yanks me into a hug as she keeps repeating that she’s sorry. So, I guess it’s a safe bet to say that she overheard everything today.
“Can you take me home?” I ask trying not to beg.
She nods, “We’re already packed and ready to go. I figured you’d want to get out of here as soon as possible.”
Still on autopilot, I return her nod, “I was just waiting til they went to bed. I don’t think I can handle any more of them tonight.”
“Come on then. Let’s go,” she says sadly.
I grab my bag off the bed and follow her out. Waiting in the Jeep for her and Eddie to grab the bags is like pure torture. A sigh escapes me as they finally get in the car, even if Eddie is green faced and looking like he’s going to puke in the front seat. As we pull off, I see a shadow in the window on the front of the cabin. My brain wants to wonder who it could be, but I shut that shit down. Making it to the bottom of the mountain, it’s a few more miles before the sound of Ryleigh and Eddie talking in the front seat puts me to sleep.