Feeling Dizzy
As my alarm blares at me, I have a moment where I consider just skipping school today. Teagan didn’t bring me home until late last night, well early this morning, and I wasn’t lying about being a total bitch if I didn’t get sleep.
My phone beeps from somewhere under my pants I had shucked as I crawled into bed. “Ugh,” I groan throwing the covers off my body. Fuck, it’s cold. I shiver and dig through my pockets. It stops beeping as soon as my hand folds around it. Of course. I take it with me back under my thick quilt. Screw it, I’ll just go in late today. Just as my eyes close and feel myself drifting off, the phone starts beeping again.
I look at the screen and see that it’s an incoming call from Teagan.
Pressing the green button and holding it up to my ear, I grunt as a hello.
“Good morning, sleepy head. This is your wakeup call,” he says sounding chipper as fuck.
I grunt again and think about hanging up on him, “I didn’t ask for a wakeup call.”
He laughs, “Of course you did. You just don’t remember it.” There’s noise in the background and even though he pulls away from the phone, I still hear him say, “Dude shut the fuck up.”
It makes me smile, but I say, “Remind me again why I bought one of these things if all you’re going to do is wake me up before the crack of dawn yelling in my ear.”
He laughs, and I hear Goose’s voice in the background, but I can’t understand what he’s saying. “Fucking A,” Teagan then says, “Hang on just a sec Kendall.”
There’s rustling around the phone and I can hear them talking, but all I want to do is just fall back asleep. In the few seconds it takes for him to come back, my eyes close again and I nod off. “Ok, Kendall. You there?”
I half groan, half growl into the phone, “Don’t want to be. I just want to go back to sleep.”
Maverick’s deep voice comes down the line and sends those crazy butterflies into overdrive, “That’s what you get for staying out so late. You’ve got school today just like the rest of us.”
“Yeah,” Goose says, “Why do you get to play hookie and we don’t?”
“Why can everyone hear me?” I ask.
“Oh,” Teagan says, “The guys had me put you on the Bluetooth through the Rover.”
I’m just going to pretend that I know what that is. I feel like such an idiot when it comes to some of these things, because I’ve never used them before. If there’s no need for them, then there’s no need to know about them.
I ask a question that I already know the answer to, possibly just because I just want to hear his voice, “Lucas there too?”
“I’m here,” he says, and I can tell by his tone that there’s a smile on his face.
With their voice having stirred feelings inside me, it’s going to be impossible to go back to sleep now. That doesn’t mean that I can’t have a little fun and let them think otherwise, “Ok, is there a point to this conversation, because I really want to get back to sleep.” I end it with a huge genuine yawn.
There’s silence on the other end of the line, before I start hearing snickers. Probably Teagan and Goose if I had to guess. The baritone of Maverick’s voice turns deeper, “Kendall, don’t make us late to class because I will come over there, drag you out and drive you to school in whatever you’re wearing.”
“So, I won’t even get to put on my pants?” I ask in mock horror. There’s dead silence on their end and my face is turning red from holding in my laugh. “Well guys, this has been awesome, but I’m going back to sleep. Have fun at school.”
I push the end button and let out the laugh that I’ve been fighting. It feels good too. I can’t remember the last time these walls have even heard it. There’s been nothing but a black void inside my heart and head for so long that it’s going to take a while to learn who I am again. I know I won’t be the same person as before, but hopefully something more than the shadow I’ve become.
Dragging my ass out of bed, I take a hot shower and brew some coffee while I make my lunch. I don’t have a lot of time after that, even if I am driving and want to make it to school on time. My hair hangs in a wet mess around my head, but I don’t have time to stop. I’ll throw it up when I get to school. Rushing out, I almost forget to grab my shit off the counter.
I rush out into the cold and instantly regret washing my hair this morning. It’s cold as fuck. I make it all the way down to the second stair before I realize there’s a car parked behind the Malibu. Not just any car, though, a Range Rover and Maverick is leaned against the side with his arms folded across his chest. His pose says his pissed, but I can see the amusement hiding behind the glasses.
“What are you doing here?” I demand.
“You hung up,” he replies.
Trying to keep a straight face, I give him the best sarcastic look I can, “Thanks Captain Obvious.”
The windows are down on our side and I can hear the other guys laughing.
I want to throw myself at his feet and apologize as he throws me one of the stern looks I’ve come to associate with him, “You shouldn’t ever hang up on someone. It’s rude. Plus, what if you’re on the phone with someone and something happens, but they’re so used to you just hanging up that they’d never know because it wouldn’t be out of character.”
Call me stupid, but I want to push his buttons, “So you came by to give me a lesson on manners? My Nana will whip my ass if I ever make it to heaven.”
I side step him heading towards the car. He reaches out to grab my arm, but his hand finds my hip opposite him instead. When he pulls slightly, it causes me to lose my balance and topple right over into him.
“Sorry,” he says directly into my ear not sounding it in the least. The hand not holding my hips runs through my hair. “Why is your hair wet? You’re going to catch fucking pneumonia out here with wet hair.”
There’s some kind of cologne on his shirt and it mixes with the smell of him and short circuits my brain for a second. “What,” I ask stupidly.
A smile crosses his lips, “You need a hat.” I nod without saying anything. The smile gets wider, “Do you have one?”
I pull myself together, take a step away from him and clear my throat, “I do, but I don’t need it. I’ll be fine.”
“Just go get your hat, girl,” Goose says from the passenger seat, “He’s not going to let it go.”
Looking up to Maverick’s face I say, “It’s packed away with some of my winter stuff. I don’t have time to go find it, but I’m putting my hair up anyways, so it doesn’t matter.”
He ignores me and turns back to the Rover, “We’ve got an extra somewhere in there, right?”
The guys scramble around looking in the glovebox and seat pockets. I’m just about to say fine when Lucas says, “Got one.”
“Me too,” Goose says from the front.
Lucas passes his up to Goose, who hangs them out the window, “Take your pick.”
One is a baseball cap with the Atlanta Braves logo on the front and the other is a plain black beanie with faint white lines. I take the latter from his fingers and pull it over my head. “Thanks,” I tell them and then look back to Maverick, “Satisfied?”
His face is unreadable as he says, “Yes. Now we can all be late to school.”
I walk around to the driver’s side door of the Malibu and I turn to see him getting behind the wheel of the Rover. Waving bye to them, I watch them pull out of the drive. Once they’re out of view for a few seconds, I sit and wonder the real reason Maverick decided to come by this morning. He can’t possibly be worried about me making it to school on time. Why would he?
It’s a question that follows me around until lunch time. I’m sure that it would have carried on into the afternoon, but I get distracted at lunch. Sitting at the end of a table in the corner, I never eat with anyone. Normally, I do something constructive like homework or somedays I’ll stare at the wall. Today, I take bites of my sandwich around texting Lucas and Teagan back from this morning. I haven’t even thought to check it until now. They both respond back instantly, which makes me smile.
I get so caught up talking to them that I don’t even notice Billy sit down in front of me until he clears his throat, “Care if I sit here?”
Glancing up, I see that it’s pointless for him to ask, because he’s already sitting down. It’s also bringing us lots of unwanted attention.
“Look,” I start, “I don’t know what you’re after, but I don’t want any of what you’re selling.”
He stares at me with a ketchup covered French fry half-way to his mouth, “I’m not selling anything.”
His words are nice, but I just don’t feel comfortable enough to be sitting here with him. He’s too close in relations with the guy that has spent the past two years torturing me, “No thanks.”
“I just want to be friends,” he says, “What? You have so many that you don’t need one more.”
I cross my arms against my chest and my phone beeps in my lap. Without thinking about it, I open the group chat and say, Sorry guys. Give me a sec. Some rando won’t take no for an answer. Right after I hit the send button, I realize my mistake and my heart drops into my butt. I count to three in my head before the reply from Maverick comes through followed by one from Goose.
What do you mean won’t take no for an answer?
What the fuck?
Shit, I tell them, Sorry. That was meant for Teagan and Lucas. I accidentally did the group chat thing.
Maverick’s reply is instantaneous, I don’t care who it was meant for. You have less than a minute to tell me what you’re talking about before I have to get in trouble leaving class to call you.
After I explain about Billy, I look up to find said subject watching me. I take a deep breath and think about the fact that I’ve never seen him sitting with the football crew. “Are you friends with Derrik?” I ask.
He takes a drink of the sports drink in front of him before responding, “Am I sitting with him?” I shake my head and he says, “Well there’s your answer.”
My eyes narrow as I try to fight off the suspicions, “Then why are you just now wanting to be friends? As I told you yesterday, we’ve been going to school together for years. Why are you just now wanting to be friends?”
Propping his elbows up on the table he says, “Yeah, look. I’m sorry about that. I walk through here with a blindfold on most of the time. I wasn’t trying to be rude or anything yesterday. I just saw a pretty girl who looked like she needed a little help. But I completely understand if you don’t want to be friends.”
He starts putting his stuff back on his tray and goes to stand up before I stop him, “I’m sorry that I’m being such a bitch. You can stay.”
“You sure?” he asks still half out of his chair.
I nod, “Yeah, its fine. I’m just cranky because I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“Out late with the boyfriend?” he asks.
If it wasn’t for the blasé way he asks, I would worry about ulterior motives. But it does throw me at a loss as what to say, so I settle for, “Not exactly.”
This makes him smile, “Which part? Being out all night or the boyfriend?”
“That’s for me to know and you to never find out,” I say looking back down at my phone.
There’s been an entire conversation between the four of them that I’ve missed, so I have to go back and catch up. The bell rings as I type in my opinion on an argument that needed a tie breaker.
Billy stands, “Thanks for letting me sit with you, Kendall. Same time tomorrow?”
“Sure,” I say.
He smiles, and I’m left staring in wonder at his retreating form. How is it that I go from being the trailer trash freak to where I am right now in only one week? My text must have ended the fight, because no one has said anything else. There are three other messages in my texts however.
Hey Kendall, I hope u don’t mind I stole ur # from Ts phone.
This is Ryleigh. Want to go shopping after school?
KENDALL???
Her impatience makes me smile. I dump my tray and text her back as I walk to class.
Sorry. Walking to class. No work today so I’m free. Want me to meet you there?
She must be waiting on my reply because she says, No way. How will we gossip? Pick u up right after school?
Squinting through my eyes that the smile has caused, I type back, Sounds good.
I stuff the phone in my pocket and someone bumps into me from the back. Shoves me from the back would be more accurate. I’ve been looking down the whole time, so I miss the open locker in front of me. It’s one of the top lockers and the push sends my face directly into the corner of the door.
The pain is blinding for a second. My shoulder slams into the lockers beside me and then my ass hits the floor.
“Holy shit. Are you ok?” a little brown-haired girl bends down and asks.
Something warm is running down my face and I put my hand up to catch it before it has a chance to hit my clothes. When I pull it away, I see that it’s blood.
A small crowd has gathered around us and I hear one of the teachers trying to cut her way through them. When she makes it to us I see that it’s Mrs. Carpenter, “What happened here?”
“I tripped,” I say with the thick liquid still running down my face. The girl in front of me looks at me as if I’m insane for not telling the truth. I know exactly who it was, but I refuse to give the fucker the satisfaction of knowing he got to me.
“Ok hun. Well let’s get you to the nurse,” she says helping me up off the floor.
I stand with her and it makes me a little dizzy, so I grab her arm in support and shift my bag on my shoulder. Derrik is standing two lockers down smirking at me. Yeah, there’s no question who did the shoving.
We make it to the nurse’s office and her eyes widen in surprise as she gets a full view of my face, “Here, sit down.”
I oblige, and she sets about getting bandages.
The late bell rings and Mrs. Carpenter says, “I’ve got to see to my class, but we need to talk Ms. Davis.”
“Yes ma’am,” I answer around the nurse’s hands in my face.
She leaves, and the nurse finally says, “It wasn’t too bad. Just a small nick on your nose. Anything on your head tends to bleed more than any other part of your body. You’re going to have somewhat of a black eye though I’m afraid. Are you feeling dizzy or having blurred vision?”
I nod a little, “I got dizzy when we stood up in the hall.”
“Ok,” she says, “Let me help you to the bathroom here so you can get cleaned up, then I want you to lay down and relax for just a bit.”
My first look into the mirror makes me want to throw up in the floor. There’s blood all over my face and running down the front of my neck. The wound itself is small, but it’s already bruised and swollen. I’m not going to have a black eye. I’ve already got one.