Chapter Eight
Mason
After
It was the phone call I never expected. The one thing I could never in a million years have predicted, anticipated, or prepared for. But that thirty-second phone call changed my life forever.
I walked into the hospital, frantic and out of breath. It’d taken me four hours to get home. I had to book and catch a flight from Dallas, which was where I was supposed to be onstage. Right this very second. I was supposed to be hearing fans scream my name, not doctors getting paged over an intercom. I knew from the phone call that I needed to head to the NICU. That was where my baby sister was, the neonatal intensive care unit. And she was there alone.
Because my dad and M Kat had died in car accident.
I’d talked to them this morning. It was their anniversary. They’d gone to dinner together. I’d called ahead to their favorite restaurant and paid for their meal. I ordered my dad’s favorite wine and made sure that M Kat got one of every dessert on the menu. It had been the last meal they’d ever had.
My whole body was shaking. I couldn’t even wrap my mind around it. “Excuse me. I need to get to the NICU.”
The nurse at the station looked up from her computer, and her eyes narrowed when she took in my appearance. I hadn’t change. When the phone call from hell came through, I was in my dressing room. I’d just finished a sound check, which meant I was wearing ripped jeans and a ratty old concert tee, and my hair was a wild mess.
“Hello? The NICU?” I slammed my hand on the counter. I wasn’t sure why I was acting this way, angry. I didn’t feel angry. I felt scared and alone and shocked and heartbroken, but not angry. Not yet.
She pointed behind me. “Fifth floor.”
I sprinted to the elevator and hit the call button twenty times in a row, like that would make the damn car come any faster. I needed to get upstairs. I needed to get to my little sister. She was all alone in this world.
When the doors to the elevator closed I lost it for a second. For the first time since I’d learned that my father and the woman I’d considered my mother were gone, I was by myself. There were no assistants or managers, no fellow passengers or cab drivers. There was just me, in this tiny cold space with two more floors to go until I met my sister. I let a few tears escape, quickly wiping them away when I heard the ding letting me know I had arrived at the fifth floor. Letting me know it was time.
Another floor full of busy people, another desk, another nurse. “I’m looking for my sister, I was told she was here.”
“Name?”
My blood ran cold. She didn’t have a name. She’d never met her parents. They’d never had the chance to pick one out. And now they never would. “I, uh, I don’t know her name.” My voice sounded shaky.
The nurse looked up, eyebrow raised. “Last name? Do you know her last name, son?”
“Cadence.” M Kat had taken my father’s last name when they’d gotten married. I assumed that would be the baby’s last name was as well.
She looked at a computer screen, then pointed to the left as she said, “Go down this hallway and hang a right. Then it’s the first door on your left. I’ll let them know you are on your way.” I turned away, but stopped when she added, “I’m so sorry about your parents.”
Word traveled fast. I’d kept my phone turned off after I booked my flight. I knew I’d have a bunch messages waiting for me. My agent, my father’s agent. I was sure his sudden death was all over the news. Social media. I was sure the whole world was mourning him. Saying what a shame it was, how the good ones always died too soon.
I’d get a million emails, a trillion interview requests. They’d want me to make a statement and plan his funeral. Plan both their funerals.
M Kat didn’t have any family. She was an only child and I’d never once heard her talk about her parents. It was going to be the four of us. And now, we were back down to two.
I pushed open the heavy metal door. “I’m Mason Max…I’m Mason Cadence. I’m looking for my little sister.”
The whole room went silent and still. So they all knew. They all knew that my father and M Kat were gone, and that my tiny preemie of a baby sister was an orphan. Someone came up and put their hand on my back. “She’s right over here, Mason.”
I whirled around at the sound of that sweet voice. “Payton?” I knew tears were streaming down my face now, but I didn’t care. I was just so damn glad that she was here. “Fuck. I don’t know…I can’t…” I buried my head into her neck, letting her wrap her arms around me. It felt so good to be held by her. To know I wasn’t alone. That the baby hadn’t been alone.
Eventually she pulled back and turned me to face a tiny pink bundle in a clear plastic tray. “You be here for her, and I’ll be here for you. Okay?” She rested her chin on my shoulder for a minute, staring with me at the baby.
I let out a sigh, nodding my head and so damn grateful. Everything was so surreal. I was numb and hurting at the same time. The only thing that made sense was the small baby lying before me. There was a lamp over her, heat and light radiating out. And she had a bracelet on one ankle and some kind of wire coming off the other. She was only wearing a diaper and she had sticky pads on her chest. “Can I touch her?”
“Of course you can.”
I reached down and put my finger in her small fist. She tightened her hand in her sleep and my heart melted. “Hey, little girl.”
Payton put her hand on my shoulder. “Here you go, Mace, why don’t you sit down with her for a bit?” She guided me into an ugly light tan leather glider.
I didn’t let go of the baby’s hand. I was all she had in this world, and vice versa. “Is she okay? Healthy?”
“She’s small, she only weighs a little over five pounds. But she was born at thirty-five weeks, so she’s actually a great size. She’s eaten. Her vitals are great. The only reason she’s in here is because…uh, well—”
“Because there was nowhere else for her to go.” I finished the sentence for her. I wanted to save her the burden of saying it out loud. Payton had cared about M Kat too.
This little girl would never know her mother, never know how she would light up when she’d feel a kick. Never know that her dad would get out this machine every morning so he could hear her heartbeat, recording each one. “What’s with the tanning bed she’s in?” My voice sounded strained, sounded foreign to my own ears.
“She was a little jaundiced when she was born. Nothing to worry about, it’s very common.” Payton’s voice was scratchy, like she’d been crying too.
“What now?”
“Well, she needs to stay here for a couple days. Gain some weight. See the pediatrician. But then you’ll be able to take her home.”
Take her home? Why hadn’t that thought crossed my mind? Who the hell else did I think was going to do it? Her parents were gone. I was her closest living relative. I was her big brother. Her irresponsible, man-whore of a big brother. “Is she going to wake up soon?”
“She should sleep for awhile, she just drifted off right before you walked in.”
“Are you still working?”
“I have another few hours on my shift tonight. I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere, Mace.”
“I won’t try to pick her up or touch any of the equipment.” I didn’t want Payton to feel like she had to babysit me.
I wanted to cry, I wanted to wail. And I knew if I did that Payton would break down with me. Because she cared about me, and because she had cared about M Kat. We needed to get through her shift. I needed to get through my sister’s stay in the NICU. Then I needed to get home and lose my shit.
“You can pick her up if you want. You can rock her or sing to her. You can do whatever you want, Mason. She’s your baby.”
Sister. I wanted to correct her. She was my baby sister. But I knew that Payton hadn’t meant anything by it. I knew that she was just trying to help, trying to let me know that nothing I could do would hurt the baby. I held on to my little sister’s finger and closed my eyes, suddenly exhausted.
“I’ll just be making rounds. I won’t be far, okay? If you need anything, call my name.” She squeezed my shoulders and placed a kiss on the top of my head.