Chapter Twelve
Mason
Four days old
I opened my eyes, then shut them. The sunlight streaming into my room was more than I could handle. I turned my head to the side, looking at the clock on my nightstand. It was eight o’clock in the morning. I bolted upright. I’d been asleep for over eight hours. I tried not to panic, I really did. What better hands could my baby sister be in than those of my gorgeous friend who just so happened to be NICU nurse? I climbed out of bed, pulling my jeans on as I stumbled off down the hallway, still somewhat groggy. I passed the nursery, then stopped short and backed up. Payton was rocking Katie in the pale gray glider, feeding her and singing along to the Eagles song that had played last night. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to come in that room yesterday. It was too sad, too hard. M Kat decorated it for her daughter. I knew she’d pictured herself here, doing exactly what Payton was doing. I put my hand to my heart again. Would this ache ever go away?
“Hey, my beautiful girls.” I leaned against the doorframe, watching them.
Payton grinned. She was just as stunning as I remembered, with the sunlight making her olive skin look gold. We’d texted and talked on the phone while I’d been on tour. But no FaceTime, no Snapchat. And looking at her smiling face now, I really wished we had.
“Hey, you. How’d you sleep?”
“Like a rock apparently.” I took a few steps toward her. She’d changed out of her scrubs at some point. She was wearing some yoga pants and a T-shirt than slipped off her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I should have set an alarm.”
“No worries.” She spoke to Katie. “We had a good time. We danced and ate and danced some more. Then, and this is the best part, we took a four hour nap.” She looked up, amusement in her face. “And she pooped, twice.”
“Glad I slept through all that.” I held my hands out. “You want me to take her? Do you have anything you need to get done today? I know you took time off, but…” I didn’t want her to leave. I didn’t want to handle today alone.
“We’re good.” She met my eyes. “I’m here, Mason. Whatever you need, I’m here. And I meant what I said last night, we’re friends. Friends help each other. So please don’t hesitate to ask, okay?”
I sat down on the ottoman in front of the glider, pulling my phone from my pocket. “Well in that case, would you mind just staying around the house with me today? I have a bunch of things I’m going to need to take care of, but I’m not leaving the property. It’s a madhouse out there.”
She nodded, smiling.
***
Eight hours later, I walked in to find Payton back in that glider feeding Katie. I couldn’t help but watch them together. Her long dark hair was piled on her head and out of the way. Her tank top was tight against her great tits. Her face was free of any makeup and she looked like a beautiful Lululemon ad.
She was so at ease with the infant in her arms, so sure of her every movement. I didn’t know how I would have made it through today without Payton by my side. And she had been, right next to me. She helped me write a statement to address my dad’s and M Kat’s deaths. She helped me make all the funeral arrangements. She even went so far as to make me lunch and unpack my suitcase. Where she found the time to do all that while she was taking care of Katie, I’d never know. She was like a superhero. A superhero crossed with an angel who used to be a prima ballerina but now did yoga in the desert for fun.
“Fancy seeing you here.”
She looked up at the sound of my voice. “I know, right?” She waggled her eyebrows. “Apparently this is our sweet spot.”
“Thank you for today. I couldn’t have done it without you.” I sat down in front of her on the matching ottoman, encasing her legs with mine and rubbed her thighs. “I think you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” When she was near me, I itched to touch her. And then I felt guilty about it. I was about to bury my parents, and I had a baby sister who would never meet them. I had no business being turned on by the one person who had been willing to hop on this crazy train and help me.
She took the bottle out of Katie’s mouth and set it on the little white table next to her. Then she sat her up a bit, holding her jaw in one hand and patting her back with the other. “Please stop thanking me for this, Mason. I’m glad I can be here.”
“It’s like fate, right? That we met, that you knew M Kat.” I rested my elbows on my knees and put my head in my hands.
Katie burped and Payton handed her to me, standing and walking over to her white dresser. “Yeah, I guess it is.” She took out some long gown-looking thing and shut the drawer.
I wasn’t religious but I was spiritual, I believed in something greater than myself. My dad and M Kat were taken from us, and it hurt like hell. Like I had a hole in my chest. But at least I’d been given Payton to help me make it through.
I wouldn’t have invited just any nurse into my home, into my safe space. I wouldn’t have trusted anyone but Payton, and the universe knew that. Knew I’d need some help, some support. I looked down at my baby sister, my smile going soft. “She’s perfect.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek. “She’s so perfect, and they’ll never get to see her.”
Payton put her hands on my shoulders. “I bet they see her.” She rested her lips against the top of my head. “And I bet they see you too, see how great you are with her. Kate would be so proud of you, Mace.”
I broke. I couldn’t help it. I’d held it in all day, made all the right decisions, made the right statements. But sitting here in the nursery, having Payton say those words to me, I lost it. I sobbed.
Payton came around and sat back on the glider in front of me. She took Katie and put her up on her shoulder, then guided my head down to her lap. She rubbed my head, shushing us both to sleep.