Chapter Thirty-eight
Mason
Fifteen weeks and three days old
I didn’t blame her for her anger, or her attitude. I took a deep breath and another sip of my whiskey. “You’re right. Let’s talk about Katie.”
“We have a routine going with her. She and I do mommy and me yoga three times a week, she loves it. Paxton takes her for runs in the morning. He doesn’t go off the property. Parker takes her to the park on Saturday afternoons, in all honesty, to pick up chicks.”
Parker. The mean one was the also one that Payton had sworn couldn’t stay faithful to save his life. Made sense he was the one using my little sister to score digits. I’d like the guy in theory, but in reality he wasn’t my favorite. “Okay, maybe I can start something with her. Maybe the afternoons or evening?”
“Pax likes to do bath time, and we gave him that because she loves to make a mess and he loves to let her. It’s been a long time since she’s seen you, Mason. It may take her a bit to warm up. Maybe you can start putting her to sleep at night? We could try and see how it goes.”
I nodded. “Yeah, that’d be nice.” Her brothers had taken my place, filled the voids in Katie’s life that I’d left. And I wouldn’t hate them for it. But eventually, I hoped, they’d get girlfriends and get the hell out of our house.
“Are you seeing anyone?”
“That isn’t really any of your business, is it?” She took a sip of her wine and I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away from her perfect pink lips.
“No.” That was the truth. It wasn’t any of my business. I’d been gone for a long time. And worse, I’d broken her heart. “But I’m hoping you’ll answer me anyway, so I can prepare myself before yet another man walks into our house.” I was trying so hard to use the words I’d never had the courage to use before. Ours, we, co-parent.
“I’m not dating anyone.”
I held in a sigh of relief. I knew she was mad at me, but if she hadn’t moved on maybe I still had a chance. Paxton seemed to think I did, and he knew her better than I did at this point. “Can I be your friend again? Can we just try and start over?” I wanted to roll my eyes, at myself. I sounded like I was an insecure kid in elementary school.
“No. So stop trying.” She looked down at her plate. The waiter had brought out our food a few minutes ago, and basically both of us had ignored him.
I knew she didn’t really mean that. I knew that eventually she’d come around and at least let me be her friend. Let me make her laugh. I pulled my cell out of my pocket. If I was going to sound ridiculous and put myself on the line, I might as well go all out.
Me: Please, Payton.
I watched as she fished her phone out of her bag when it went off. “Sorry, but I need to make sure everything is okay with—”
Me: You know this is adorable and you want to smile.
Payton: I don’t. At all.
Me: We both know that there is still something here between us. I made a mistake, a huge fucking mistake. But I’m here now, and I’m never leaving you again. Either of you.
Payton: Fuck.
Payton: Off.
I’d driven a girl who rarely cussed to using the f-bomb like it was nothing. Before I put my phone away, it vibrated in my hand one more time.
Payton: Friend.
I had to bite my lip to keep my grin in check. “Thank you.”
“Friends, Mason. Friends for the sake of my sanity, friends so my brothers don’t murder you, and friends for Katie.” She polished off her wine. “Don’t push me on this.”
“Okay.” I smiled and then started to finally eat my food. I felt lucky just to be in the same damn room as her tonight. Every pair of male eyes in the restaurant was trained on her. The thin black slip dress she was wearing was making more mouths water than the steaks were. Her long dark hair full of loose curls pulled over one shoulder, exposing her gorgeous neck.
Yeah. I felt pretty fucking lucky tonight.
***
As soon as we got back to the house, Payton went to bed. The rest of dinner had been pleasant enough. We talked about Katie, we talked about going through more of my parents’ things. But we didn’t bring up the past, and I didn’t beg her for a future.
“How was it?” Paxton was sitting on the couch, ESPN on the TV.
“I thought you had a date?”
He wrinkled his forehead. “It’s only nine.”
“She agreed to co-parent Katie, and she agreed to friends. She told me not to push her on it though.” I sat down in the chair across from him. “I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me, man. I know she’s your sister and you think you know her pretty well. But she was my uh…girlfriend. I think I may have fucked up beyond repair.”
He leaned back against the cushions and put his folded hands on top of his head. “For such a famous rock star, you’re such a little pussy.”
“Please stop calling me a pussy, you’re really ruining that word for me.”
“Then stop acting like one.” He shrugged. “Look. My sister, for all intents and purposes, is a single mom with an adorable baby.” I stopped breathing when he called Payton Katie’s mom, but he didn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he didn’t care. “You know how to win Payton over, you’ve done it before—”
“Twice.”
He glared at me and I held up my hands in surrender. “I’m just saying. I got her to, uh, ‘fall for me’ twice.” Once was because she wanted my body and once was because she wanted my heart.
“Make her laugh, melt her using that kid of y’all’s. Just be the you she fell for in the first place. Remind her that you’re more than just some dickhead that left her high and dry because you were too chickenshit to admit you were in love with her.”
Paxton loved insulting me and he loved using the phrases that had freaked me out in the beginning.
Y’all’s kid.
In love with her.
“What about Parker? Is he going to try and kick my ass when he sees me making moves on his little sister?”
“Would you?” When I paled he started to chuckle. “I’m kidding, man. I’ll call him off.” He leaned forward and pointed at me, a serious look coming over his face. “But you hurt her again, and I’ll fucking kill you myself.”
“If I hurt her again, I’ll give you my blessing.” I got up and headed toward the hallway.
“Hey, Mace?”
“Yeah?”
“Katie has been really fussy lately, she’s teething. She usually wakes up at least once during the night. Pay’s been having to bring her out here to listen to some music.”
I nodded in understanding. “Thanks.”
Since Katie was already asleep, I couldn’t start our new routine tonight. I went into my parents’ room and lay down on the bed. I closed my eyes and wracked my brain, trying to think of ways to get Payton to forgive me. To let me back in.
I’d fucked up so horribly. If she never got over this, it was no one’s fault but my own. I was my own worst enemy and I’d messed up. Big-time. What would happen if she never forgave me? Would we just live here at the ranch, co-parenting forever?
Payton was amazing, she was gorgeous and kind and funny. She was tough, strong. She’d find someone, and she’d fall in love. She’d find someone who could give her the world, someone who would never leave. Would never make her cry.
Someone better than me.