Chapter 20 - Ethan
The next few weeks fly by. The days start to get shorter as summer rushes towards autumn, and my heart sings. Zoe and I steal any moment we can together. I think Sherry knows, but I’m not sure. Bryan grins at me whenever Zoe walks in, and I know the Lang Creek Rumor Mill is churning. We do our best to keep things quiet, but it’s hard. Zoe is magnetic. It’s almost impossible to hide.
At some point, we stop trying to hide it. People see us walking together in town, and the rumors fly, and then they stop. Katie and Mara meet us at Harold’s some evenings, and my brothers meet Zoe and warm to her. Without me realizing how, we’ve slipped into a relationship that everyone seems to understand and accept without either of us having to really say anything.
I try not to think about the fact that Zoe will be leaving soon.
At work, Zoe briefs us on security measures and audits our procedures. She submits a report to Sherry after a few weeks with us, and I don’t hear her talking about the hotel fire much after that. Sherry asks her to look at the other conservation programs we have in place. Zoe quickly adapts to life at the Park.
She’s standing over Bryan’s desk as they discuss an invasive beetle that seems to have found a home in the north-eastern part of our Park. I smile as I watch her laugh and talk with our coworkers. She’s slipped into life in Lang Creek so easily.
Last night, we video called her daughter. She speaks to her every night, and I met Audrey for the first time almost two weeks ago. Since then, I’ve spoken to her a few times. She’s precocious and funny, just like her mother.
Zoe stands up and stretches her back, glancing over at me and winking. Her phone rings, and she frowns before answering it. I crane my ears to try to hear who she’s speaking to, but she ducks into the conference room. When she re-emerges, the smile is gone from her eyes and she looks troubled. A shadow is over her face and she slumps back into her chair.
I push my own chair back and head over to her desk.
“Everything alright?” I whisper, glancing around at the mostly-deserted office. Zoe lifts her eyes up to me as if she’s noticing me for the first time.
“I, uh, yeah, actually,” she says. “Everything is good. I just got offered a promotion. A really, really big promotion. The ‘you-don’t-turn-this-one-down’ kind of promotion.”
My heart sinks. “Oh,” I say, trying to force a smile. “When do you leave?”
She shakes her head. “That’s the thing,” she says. “The promotion is here.”
My eyes widen and my jaw drops. I’m not sure how to react. Zoe is staring at me, waiting for me to say something. I clear my throat.
“You don’t seem too happy about it,” I say as my chest tightens. A lump is forming in my throat as I watch the woman I’ve been seeing every day struggle with the idea of staying here.
She laughs mirthlessly, shaking her head. “If it were just me, I’d be jumping for joy. Being here is the best that’s happened to me since Audrey was born. But that’s the thing,” she says, staring at me with pain in her eyes. “Audrey! Am I just supposed to uproot her whole life and bring her here, away from her friends and her grandmother and everything she knows?”
I lean against her desk and my heart slows down. She wants to stay. I have to keep the smile from my face as I consider the difficulty of her situation. I take a deep breath to try to quiet the thumping of my heart.
“Was that your boss on the phone? What did you tell him?”
“I said I’d think about it. I told him I had to think about Audrey.”
I nod.
She puts her head in her hand and blows a big breath out of her nose. She inhales and looks at me. “I don’t know what to do. I know why I want to stay here,” she says quietly, staring at me. My heart jumps and I slide my hand over hers. She squeezes my fingers and shakes her head.
“But that just feels so selfish.”
“Why don’t you get your daughter over here? When does school start? A couple weeks from now? Fly her out and you can show her the town and the school, and see if she likes it. Then you can decide.”
Zoe stares at me for a few moments. “I hadn’t considered that. That’s not a bad idea.”
“Why not? If she likes it here, it’ll be a lot easier to make your decision. Then you won’t have to turn down your ‘don’t-turn-this-one-down’ promotion.” And you’d stay here. With me.
A smile breaks over Zoe’s face and the shadow over her forehead disappears. She jumps up from her chair and throws her arms around me. I stiffen, not used to touching her in the office.
Zoe catches herself and pulls away, squeezing my shoulder as she drops her hands.
“I’m going to call my mom,” she says. “I might be able to fly both of them out here by the end of the week. You could meet them,” she says almost hesitantly, searching my face.
I smile. “I’d be honored.” My heart thumps as I watch her duck into the conference room again, this time having a much more excited conversation. I rub my temple with my hand and take a deep breath.
Is this what I want?
I glance at Zoe and feel my heart pulling towards her. I haven’t been this happy… I don’t know, maybe ever. I want her to stay. But does that mean I want to be a dad? Would I be a dad? Would she expect me to take on that role? Would things between Zoe and I change?
Of course things would change. She’d have her daughter here, and we wouldn’t be able to run off together whenever we get a moment. I watch her through the conference room window and am surprised that I don’t mind the thought. Is it possible I might be excited about having Zoe and Audrey here with me?
The thoughts are flying around my head and I stalk out of the building, breathing a sigh of relief as I step outside. I walk over to a nearby trail and lean against a tree, closing my eyes and breathing deeply. When I open them again, Zoe is opening the door and scanning the parking lot for me. She sees me, and a smile splits on her face.
My heart lifts, and I feel excited and terrified all at once. As Zoe walks towards me, the breeze flutters through her hair and the sun makes her skin glow. She looks so incredibly beautiful that it almost hurts to look at her. She’s like the sun, and I can’t resist her pull. When she walks over to me, she throws her arms around my neck without a word. She kisses me, and the doubt in my heart disappears.