Chapter 28 - Ethan
I’m on my own today for the first time in a long time. Zoe is visiting the school with Audrey, and they’re having a quiet dinner together. It’s finally Friday, and when I get home from work I feel the restless itch to get out of my house. I take a quick shower and head over to Harold’s for a beer. When I walk into the bar, the din of voices and glasses and music assails me but it feels almost comforting.
Harold plops a beer in front of me as soon as I sit down. “On the house, Clarke. Looks like you need it.” He laughs, and I nod in thanks. I didn’t think I looked that bad, but I’ll take the beer anyways.
I’m halfway through drinking it when Bill Whittaker sits down beside me.
“Ethan,” he says with a nod.
“Sheriff,” I answer.
“Off-duty,” he retorts.
“You’re still the Sheriff though.”
“So I am,” he grins. Harold places his drink in front of him and Bill holds up his glass. “You know what today is?”
I shake my head, touching my glass to his.
“Today is eighteen months since we torched that fucking hotel to the ground.”
I glance around us. “Keep your voice down, Bill, come on,” I say in a low voice. Bill laughs, hand on stomach and head thrown back. He takes a long drink and claps me on the back.
“You just said it, Ethan. I’m the Sheriff!”
“You’re insane,” I grin. “I’m glad you’re on my side.”
“Oh, I don’t take sides.” There’s a sparkle in his eye and I raise an eyebrow.
“No?”
“No. I just do what’s best for the town.”
“Right.”
“Just so happens you, your brothers, and I agreed on that particular occasion.”
“Lucky for us.”
“Lucky for us,” he agrees with a grin. “Come on, cheer up, Ethan. What’s bothering you? I haven’t seen you this moody since before your girlfriend came to town.”
“Moody!”
“Yeah, you moody fucker,” he chuckles, clapping me on the back again. “Worse than my mother-in-law.”
“Couldn’t be that bad.”
“Gettin’ close!”
I laugh, finally, and Bill looks triumphant. I finish my beer and wave for another one, and soon Bill and I are as comfortable as we’ve always been. I don’t think about Margaret, or Zoe, or anything. It’s just me and my buddy, having a beer on a Friday evening. It’s nice.
He starts telling me about the teenagers he caught spray-painting the bridge just outside of town.
“Those little fuckers are quick, let me tell you,” he says, shaking his head. “But I was quicker. Thinkin’ of changing my name to Usain.”
I laugh. “Sheriff Bolt has a nice ring to it.”
Bill winks at me and I shake my head. Maybe he’s right, maybe I have been moody. Ever since Margaret McCoy came to town, I’ve been worried about her motives. Maybe my moodiness was why Zoe was thought I didn’t like Audrey and her mom.
“So what do you figure about Margaret McCoy coming back?” Bill says almost too casually. My jaw immediately tenses and I stare into my glass.
“I don’t know what’s she’s up to, but I don’t like it.”
Bill grunts in agreement. “What do Mara and Dominic think about it?”
“They’re tolerating it, I think. She’s playing the grandmother card with the new baby.” I take a deep breath, and shake my head in frustration.
Bill grunts again. We both take a sip in silence.
“You think she’ll cause trouble?” Bill asks.
It’s my turn to grin. “You’re the Sheriff, Bill, you’ll sort her out if she does.”
He laughs again. “Fuckin’ right I will.”
The door at the entrance of the pub opens and I see both my brothers walk in. I wave them over and they nod, heading towards Bill and me. Soon, the four of us are drinking and laughing like old times. By the end of my third beer, my shoulders relax. I didn’t know my eyebrows were drawn together until the tension in my forehead is gone.
Aiden tells a story about Dominic when we were kids, and soon the two of them are jostling with each other semi-playfully. Harold throws ice cubes at them from behind the bar.
“Cut it out, you savages! If you break another one of my chairs I swear to God…”
Aiden laughs and puts Dominic in a head lock. “We’re just playing, Harry.”
“Well, play somewhere else,” he says, throwing another ice cube. Dominic laughs and extricates himself from Aiden’s hold. He finishes his beer and nods at Harold for another one. Harold purses his lips, but grabs another glass and pours a fresh drink. There’s a gleam in his eye when he puts the glass down in front of Dominic.
Before I know it, Dominic makes a move to leave. “Gotta get home to the baby,” he says, and Aiden follows his lead with a grunt. Bill isn’t too far behind.
Soon, I’m left on my own. My thoughts drift back to Zoe. All three of them–Bill, Aiden, Dominic–they all have wives and kids to go home to. And here I am, staring at half a glass of beer.
I’d love it if Zoe were here with me, or if she were at home when I got there. I’d love to wake up next to her every morning. And the more I get to know Audrey and Bernie, the more I like them. I never thought I’d date a single mother, but having them in my life has made me change the way I think.
I finish the last of my beer and pay Harry before pushing myself up off the bar stool and heading out the door. For the rest of the night, when I walk home and lay in bed, all I’m thinking of is Zoe.
My brothers love Zoe, their wives love Zoe. Everyone in town seems to have taken to her. Without either of us noticing, she’s become part of this community. She’s become part of my life.
I turn over in bed and look at the empty space beside me, wishing she were here.
If she accepts the position, and she and Audrey and Bernie move to Lang Creek, they’ll need a place to stay.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Would she… would she want to move in with me? The thought fills me with fear and excitement and makes my heart feel like it’s almost too big for my chest. When I open my eyes again, I stare at the ceiling and feel my lips pulling up into a smile.
It might be the beers, but I don’t think it is. I want Zoe to be part of my life. I want her here beside me. I want her to move in with me, and I want to watch Audrey grow up. I want to have Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with Bernie and my brothers. Having Zoe beside me feels like the most natural thing to ever happen, and the thought of living with her feels right.
I’m not sure when it happened, but somehow, I feel like I’ve gained a family with them. I sigh and turn over in my bed, stretching my arm out to where Zoe would be if she were here.
I’ve turned into a big softie, that’s what’s happened. I just never thought it would feel this good.