Chapter 27 - Zoe
Ethan has been different lately, and I don’t know if it’s because Audrey and my mom are here, or if it’s because Margaret McCoy is in town. There’s a distance between us that wasn’t there before. He’s quieter than he was before, and sometimes he doesn’t quite meet my eye. I’m trying to give him time to adjust, but it’s starting to drive me nuts.
It’s early evening, and the sun is starting to set. Ethan, Audrey, and I are walking along the wooded path by the river. It’s quiet, and it would be peaceful if I couldn’t sense Ethan ruminating beside me.
“It’s getting colder in the evenings,” I remark placidly, taking a deep breath of crisp air. “Winter’s on its way.”
“Mm,” is the only response I get. We’re coming to a bend in the path, and I recognize the spot where Ethan and I made love in the forest the night little Hailey was born, almost two and a half months ago. I pause, glancing out through the break in the trees at the freezing cold water in front of us.
Ethan stares at the river but I can tell his mind is elsewhere. As I watch him, my heart squeezes and fear starts creeping into my heart.
What am I doing? I’m about to accept a promotion to move my entire family across the country. Am I doing it for the promotion? Am I doing it to show Audrey a better, quieter life?
Or… Am I doing it for him?
Maybe I’m just selfish, and not only that, I’ve been lying to myself. Maybe all I want is a bit of companionship. And now that I’ve had a taste of it, reality and all its complications are looming in front of me.
Maybe this was a bad idea.
Ethan inhales sharply and seems to come back to the present. He looks at me as if he’s seeing me for the first time, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. He leans over and kisses my forehead, sliding his arm across my back and holding me close.
I breathe in and smell wood smoke and pine trees in his chest. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around him and we hold each other without saying a word.
Finally, after a couple minutes, he pulls away and looks into my eyes. His lips curl into a tentative smile and he touches his forehead to mine.
“I’m happy I met you,” he says in a low voice.
My heart melts. Or maybe it expands and flips in my chest. I don’t know what my heart is doing but whatever it is, it feels good.
“Really?” My voice comes out just above a squeak.
“Really.”
It’s all the reassurance I need. He presses his lips to mine and kisses me. It might be the thousandth time we’ve kissed since we met, but it feels more intimate than ever before. He holds me close and runs his fingers through my hair until we stop kissing and I rest my head against his chest. His arms are wrapped around me and I can feel the heat of his body through his jacket.
It feels like there are so many things we should say to each other. I should ask him what he thinks of Audrey, and how he feels about having her in his life all of a sudden. I should ask him what he thinks of my mother, and how he feels about having her in his life all of a sudden. It’s a big change for all of us.
I should ask him about Mrs. McCoy and all the brooding he’s been doing since she got here.
But I don’t ask anything. I just lay my head against his chest and listen to the river and the wind in the trees, and the beating of his heart.
After a few minutes, I pull away and look over my shoulder.
“Where’s Audrey?” I ask.
Ethan tenses in my arm and looks around. We separate and head down the path. The blood drains from my face and my chest suddenly feels hollow.
“Audrey?” I call out into the forest. Somehow, the sky has turned darker and dusk has almost turned to night. I walk a little faster, and then start jogging as my calls become more and more frantic. Ethan calls her name as well, yelling it into the trees. He ducks down near the river and comes back up, shaking his head.
“How far could she have gone? If she gets lost...” The words hang between us and I call out for Audrey again.
There’s another bend in the path up ahead. My vision is blurred as my eyes start to fill with tears. “Audrey!” I call out. “Answer me!”
My voice is strained and the panic is gripping my throat. Where is she?
Then, I see her blue jacket appear from a tiny dirt path on the left. “Mom!” She says, beaming. “Look what I made!”
“Audrey!” I say in relief, wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug. I trap her arms by her sides and hold her tighter than I should, until she squirms and I let her go. She looks at me and frowns.
“Are you okay, Mom?”
Ethan comes up behind us and I hear him make a noise. “What the fuck are you doing here?” He spits. I tense, and Audrey inhales at his swear word, widening her eyes and smiling. I follow his eyes to the woman standing in the trees where Audrey just appeared.
“I’m out for a walk, Ethan,” Margaret McCoy says haughtily. “Is that allowed, or do I need the Clarke seal of approval for that?”
Ethan tenses, and I stand up and move Audrey behind me, putting myself between her and Mrs. McCoy. Margaret sighs.
“I came across Audrey on the path and I showed her how to make boats out of sticks to race down the river,” she says, almost as if she’s bored. She gestures to Audrey, who holds up her creation. “She was on her own out here.”
My stomach falls and my cheeks burn. She was on her own out here. Margaret looks at me accusingly as she says it. I should have been with her. Instead, I was wrapped in Ethan’s arms, with no thought at all for my daughter.
Margaret gives me a look of pure disgust and gestures to the path behind us. “May I?” She says.
Ethan steps aside and Margaret starts walking. She turns to Audrey and waves. “Hope you make a really fast stick-boat,” she says with a smile. “Remember the trick I taught you for tying the ends of it?”
Audrey smiles and holds up her boat. “I’ll make a really good one and show it to you next time.”
Margaret smiles, and for the first time I see a softness in her eyes. She nods. “That sounds good. You take care now, and don’t wander away from your mother anymore.”
If everyone in town hadn’t warned me about Margaret McCoy, I’d almost think she was a nice person right now.
But Ethan obviously doesn’t think so. He doesn’t relax until she’s out of sight, and then the dark cloud above his head reappears. The tender moment we shared before is forgotten, and the three of us head back towards town in silence. I hold Audrey’s hand, and she stares at her new creation the whole time.
When we get back to town, I send Audrey over to our car and I turn to Ethan.
“Why do you hate her so much?”
His eyebrows shoot up, and then his face darkens. He shakes his head. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
He chews his lip and finally sighs. “She stole my father’s business after he died, so my brothers and I were left with nothing. We found out later that they were having an affair. My dad and Margaret,” he explains. I try to hide the surprise from my face, but Ethan laughs grimly. “Yeah. That was my reaction as well. Dominic started seeing Mara, and she did everything she could to keep them apart.”
“Oh,” I say. I can’t think of a better response.
Ethan straightens up and puts his hands on my shoulders, running them down to hold both my hands. He looks me in the eyes. “She’s not a good person, Zoe,” he says. “She had everyone fooled for years. But at the first chance, she just threw everyone around her under the bus and took care of herself. Including her own daughter.”
A lump forms in my throat and I think of the look on Margaret’s face when she said goodbye to Audrey. Could she really have been cruel enough to her own daughter to keep Mara and Dominic apart?
“No good will come of her being here,” Ethan continues. He sighs again and I put my hands on either side of his face.
“Try not to worry so much,” I tell him with a smile. “I’m just glad you’re not freaking out about Audrey and my mom being here.”
Confusion passes over his face and he frowns. “What? Why would I be freaking out?”
I laugh and shake my head. “Never mind. I have an overactive imagination. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I pull his head towards mine and kiss him tenderly. He wraps his arms around me and I feel at ease. I hear my car door open and Audrey’s voice behind me.
“Eeewww,” she yells. “Gross!”
Both Ethan and I laugh, and he winks at me. “See you tomorrow,” he whispers. With one last kiss on the tip of my nose, he turns towards his vehicle, and I turn towards mine.