Chapter 15 - Zoe
I don’t know if it’s the fresh air, or the stress of being with Mara and Dominic, or just my own insatiable desire for Ethan Clarke, but I can’t help it.
The words slip out of my mouth and Ethan’s eyes widen. His lips part ever so slightly and it only makes me want him more. The silence hangs between us, disturbed only by the sound of the river flowing by us and the leaves rustling in the night.
I can’t read Ethan’s face in the darkness. My heart grows in my chest and my cheeks start to burn as we stand there, frozen in silence. I’m not sure how much time goes by. It’s probably just a couple seconds, but it feels like an eternity. Regret starts to creep into the edges of my mind, and I wish I hadn’t said anything.
It’s a dangerous game, saying those types of things. I work with him, and I have a daughter back home, and if what Katie says is true, he’s at the heart of why I’m here. Ethan Clarke holds the key to finding out what happened at the hotel, and making sure it doesn’t happen again. If what Katie told me is true, he’s the one who lit the match that set the building on fire.
But right now, none of that seems to matter. The breeze carries the faintest smell of his cologne, mixed with the intoxicating musk of man. My mind whirls and takes me back to our first night together, when his smell filled my nostrils and my body was his.
Then, like a dam breaking, the tension between us cracks. Ethan takes a step towards me and wraps his arm around my waist. His other hand sweeps up along my jawline to the nape of my neck and I melt into his arms.
When his lips crush against mine, nothing else matters. Not the hotel, not work, not the woman giving birth in the house down the path. Nothing.
All that matters is this man in my arms, pressing his body against mine and taking me to a place I didn’t know existed. He kisses me fiercely, tangling his fingers into my hair and pulling me closer to him. He deepens his kiss and I tremble, gripping onto his shirt and melting into his chest until I’m dizzy. The only thing holding me up is Ethan’s arm around my waist.
We fall apart. My hand flies to my forehead and I stand a foot away from him, panting. I drag my eyes back up towards him and see his chest rising and falling just as mine is. His eyes are dark with desire as a blush stains my cheeks.
“Well, so much for not getting involved with each other,” I say, staring at his swollen lips and wishing I could taste them again.
Ethan chuckles and takes a step towards me, running his finger along my cheek and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
“You’re gorgeous,” he breathes. His eyes are shining in the moonlight and he takes a deep, raking breath. I wrap my arms around his neck and we stand in each other’s arms without speaking.
I chew my lip for a moment and stare at his face. The corner of his lip curls up.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asks. His hands are on the small of my back, and they drift down towards my ass.
“Did you burn down that hotel?” I blurt. My heart is thumping, and I study Ethan’s face as my cheeks start to burn. Ever since Katie told me the rumors, my mind has been whirling. If it wasn’t for Mara going into labor, I would have asked her a thousand questions.
Ethan’s hands stop and he stiffens ever so slightly.
“What?” He says slowly, barely above a whisper.
“I’ve just… Did you?” My voice almost breaks on the last word. I so badly want him to say no. I desperately want the rumors to be just that–rumors. Ethan stares at me for a few moments, his eyes dark and his face completely still. Finally, his face breaks and he chuckles, shaking his head.
“You shouldn’t listen to Katie so much, Zoe,” he says. “She’ll tell you everything except the truth.”
“So you had nothing to do with it?”
“No. I did not burn down that hotel,” he says. He shakes his head again and kisses the tip of my nose. I relax, and a smile floats over my lips.
“Sorry,” I shake my head. “I just–”
“Shh,” he says, laying his lips softly against mine. He squeezes his hands over my bottom and desire floods between my legs. I grab the collar of his shirt and kiss him harder, feeling his heart beat against mine as the memories of our night together flood my mind.
He pulls away from me, glancing down the path as he takes my hand. “Come on,” he says, and I follow him without a word. He leads me through the trees to a small clearing before turning back towards me and running his hands up under my shirt. I shiver at his touch, letting out a soft moan as his fingers send sparks flying off my skin.
My eyes are low as I look at him again, panting. My hands drop to my jeans, and I start unbuttoning them. His eyes brows rise up and his lips part.
“What are you doing to me, Ethan,” I breathe. “You’re making me crazy.”
He runs his hands down over my hips, helping me pull my jeans down to mid-thigh. He groans, running his fingers under the waistband of my underwear. “So are you,” he says, before he turns me around and wraps his arms around me. One arm covers my chest, letting his hand rest over my breast as he nuzzles my neck. His other hand dips down under my panties. When he feels the wetness of my desire for him, he groans. I put my hands up to brace myself against the nearest tree, pushing myself back against him.
I’m shaking with excitement, biting my lip and glancing back at him until I feel him pull my underwear down to meet my jeans. He trails his fingers through my slit and groans again, and I close my eyes, exhaling. I hear the crinkling package of a condom and I hold my breath until I feel him enter me, and I’m in ecstasy.
“Come on, we should get back,” I say, as Ethan kisses me gently. We’re dressed again, and I pat my hair to make sure it’s mostly presentable.
He sighs, and nods. “We probably should, yeah,” he agrees. He hooks his fingers into mine and leads me back down the beaten path towards Dominic’s house. My body relaxes and I take a deep breath. My heartbeat starts to slow down again.
No, I did not burn down that hotel.
I hear his words over and over in my mind as we walk hand-in-hand back towards the town. As the lights of Dominic’s house get closer, I drop his hand and he nods.
“Probably for the best.”
“Probably,” I say. “Wouldn’t want Katie starting any more rumors.”
I mean it as a joke, but Ethan just grimaces. The workshop and house come into view, and I peer at the light at the back of the house. I can’t see anything through the curtains, but I know that behind them, Mara is either in immense pain or her body is flooded with joy and endorphins as she holds her new baby.
We walk in silence the rest of the way. The lights in the house seem unnecessarily bright, and as we make our way back to Mara’s room, the noises from inside seem unnecessarily loud.
When we push the door open, I once again feel like I’m out of place, like I’ve been admitted to this inner sanctum where I have no business being. Mara’s hair is matted to her head, and Dominic is sitting on the far edge of the bed with his back to us. Katie is busy tidying up with the midwife.
There’s a million things to look at, but my eyes are immediately drawn to the tiny bundle in Mara’s arms. Five impossibly tiny fingers are wrapped around Mara’s index finger, and a serene glow envelops the couple.
I step to the side with Ethan, exchanging a glance with him. I smile, feeling my heart glow for Mara, Dominic, and their new child. I make to leave, but Mara lifts her head up.
“Zoe,” she says, as if noticing me for the first time. “Would you like to meet the newest member of the McCoy family? This is Hailey.”
I glance at Ethan again and take a step forward. My eyes start to mist up and a smile stretches across my face.
“Oh, Mara,” I breathe. “She’s beautiful.”
“My little potato,” Mara says, laughing and stroking the newborn’s scrunched-up face. She glances up at me, her eyes shining. “Thank you for everything.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t do anything,” I answer. It’s the truth. All I did was call the doctor and made sure no one panicked. And then I disappeared into the forest with Ethan. I blush.
Mara smiles at me. “It would have been a lot more tense in here without you.” She glances at Dominic and chuckles, but he’s too busy running his huge fingers gently over his daughter’s cheeks.
I stay for a few minutes, but I can’t shake the feeling of being out of place. I say goodbye to the family, and with one last glance at Ethan I leave them and make my way back to the hotel.
When I lay back in bed, I stare at the ceiling and a torrent of emotions rages inside me. I’m not sure what to think about Ethan, or work, or the fire, or the baby. My hand rests on my stomach, and I think of the way it felt to have Ethan inside me. It felt too good to ignore. He’s woken something up inside me that I can’t ignore.
I turn to my phone and find a photo of my little Audrey, and my heart finally quiets down.