Chapter 18
Josie
It’d just been a little over a week and Tristen was already looking more like herself. I knew it had everything to do with Nitro and the rehabilitation center he’d chosen for her. It wasn’t exactly conventional, but that’s what I liked about it. Nitro and I were able to stay on the same premises with Tristen, so after she’d gone through their detox program, I could actually spend time with her. She was getting stronger each day, but the endless nightmares and terrifying memories were still getting to her. Thankfully, the counseling and group therapy seemed to be helping. The sessions lasted for hours, morning and afternoon, and while sometimes they were exhausting, I could tell it helped her to have someone to talk to. Each day she was getting better, which meant we were getting closer to going home.
While Tristen was in her sessions, I spent my time reading by the pool or catching up on my classwork for school. I was way behind, but thankfully, I’d been able to work it out with my professors to complete my last few projects online. Once I’d finished my latest assignment, I went to check in with Nitro. Like most days, he wasn’t hard to find. He’d claimed a small corner in the lobby where he spent most of his day working. When I walked up, he was sitting at the table, talking on his phone.
“Doing better.” He nodded silently as he listened to the other end of the line. He was wearing his casual clothes, dark jeans, and basic white t-shirt with just a hint of cologne. The sun reflected off his fancy, platinum watch as he held the phone up to his ear. “Gonna be here as long as it takes, brother. Got no other answer for you.” He clenched his fist at his side. “I understand that, but it doesn’t change anything.” He glanced over in my direction, and when he saw me sitting down across from him, he turned his head and mumbled something I couldn’t quite understand. After he finally hung up the phone, he cleared his throat and looked over at me. “How is she this morning?”
I wanted to ask who he was just talking to, wondering if it might’ve been Mike, but I decided to just let it go, knowing he wouldn’t tell me either way. “Pretty good actually. She just left for her group session.”
“Good to hear.” He turned his attention back to his laptop, and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was really doing. There were three cell phones sprawled out on the table, along with his newspaper and one of the most expensive laptops on the market. It was clear the man made a ton of money. He’d made no attempt to hide it, but after all this time, he’d never given me any clue how he’d made his fortune. I’d tried to figure it out on my own, thinking maybe he sold organs on the black market or he was some kind of drug smuggler. While I had no idea what he was into, my instincts told me it was something illegal. He was too secretive for it to be anything legit.
Unable to fight my curiosity, I asked, “What exactly do you do, Nitro?”
“What do I do?” He knew exactly what I was asking, but he was playing coy with me.
“You know… for a living?”
He thought for a moment, then answered, “I deal with supply and demand.”
“Mmm-hmm. So, this supply… is it something valuable?”
“To some.”
“And you are the go-to guy for this so-called supply?”
“You could say that.”
His vague responses were getting under my skin. “And how does my sister fit into all this?”
“She doesn’t,” he answered flatly.
I sighed with frustration. “None of this makes any sense to me, Nitro, and I’ve gotta admit, the whole thing with the auction, and everything you’re doing here with Tristen, makes me a little nervous.”
“Doesn’t have to make sense, Josie. Just know I’m doing this for your sister so she can have the life she deserves.”
“But why?” I leaned towards him, hoping he’d give me a real answer. “I need to know what is going on in that head of yours.”
“No one needs to know what’s going on in this head. It’s not a pretty picture, but I’ll tell you this… I learned a long time ago that my gut is never wrong about anything. When I saw your sister standing in that auction, I knew she was scared out of her mind, but I didn’t see fear or the effects of the drugs... I saw Tristen: a girl full of fight and a powerful will to survive. Every instinct I had told me to hold onto her and protect her, and that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“But you don’t even know her.”
“I know enough.”
“You do realize how crazy all this sounds.”
He gave me a little shrug. “I guess it does.”
“I want to think you’re really thinking of my sister with all of this, but part of me thinks this is more about you than her.”
“Maybe.”
“So, what happens when she gets better?”
“No way to know what the future holds. Only time will tell. For now, we’ll just have to wait and see how everything turns out.”
“Mmm-hmm.” I found myself wondering how Mike and the other brothers felt about how Nitro was dealing with Tristen. I knew the club was one of those things Big told me not to ask about, but he wasn’t there to stop me. “What about the club? Any idea what the future holds for you with them?”
He gave me a disapproving look, letting me know I was pushing it. “Been dealing with Cotton for a long time. Know him well enough to know he’s gonna be pissed about the way I handled things. That’s on me, and I’ll have to deal with the blow back. I think in time, he’ll understand why I made the move I did.”
“Not sure that’s gonna happen.”
“Maybe not. Won’t know until we have a face to face.”
While I still wasn’t sure about Nitro and why he was helping my sister, I did know that being at the rehabilitation center was helping her. “She really is doing better. He’ll see that.”
“Maybe.” He reached for his newspaper as he asked, “You two got any plans for the afternoon?”
“Other than the same thing we did yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that… nope. No big plans.”
“Thought you could take Tristen over to the spa thing after her appointment.”
“Really? That would be wonderful.”
“Good. I’ll get it set up.”
I shouldn’t have been surprised by Nitro’s thoughtfulness, not after all he’d already done, but I was surprised nonetheless. Overcome with gratitude, I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, giving him a tight squeeze. “Thank you, Nitro. I still don’t understand all this, but I do appreciate all you’ve done.”
Before he had a chance to respond, I released him and headed upstairs to find Tristen. When I told her about going to the spa, she couldn’t have been more excited. As I’d hoped, it was a perfect day—not because of all the pampering, but because I was able to see my sister laugh and actually enjoy herself. For just a little while, she was able to forget about all the hell she’d been through and just be happy.
“Your hair looks amazing.” I’d always loved my sister’s long, blonde hair, but the dark, almost black curls around her face brought out the blue in her eyes.
She played with a few strands of her hair as she stared into the mirror. “You don’t think it’s too much?”
“I think it’s perfect.” I walked up behind her and glanced at my reflection. “Mine, on the other hand, might be too much.”
She turned around with her eyebrows furrowed and fussed, “It is not! I love the highlights. They go perfect with that tan you’re getting. You’ll be turning heads for miles.”
Unfortunately, there was only one head I cared about, and it was all the way back in Washington. I’d tried to block him from my mind, but every time I turned around, he’d managed to inch his way back into my thoughts. There were times when I’d find myself smiling over something he’d said or done, while others times, I would want to claw his eyes out for making me fall for him. I blamed him totally for my broken heart. He didn’t have to be so sweet, so handsome, or so damn irresistible.
I felt Tristen nudge me with her elbow. “What?”
She pointed her finger at me and twirled it in the air as she asked, “You wanna tell me where your mind just went?”
“Nowhere… I was just thinking about how great your hair looks.”
“Liar.” She walked over to the sofa, and as she sat down, she patted the cushion beside her. “Get over here and spill it.”
“There’s nothing to spill, Tris.” I walked over and sat down next to her. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t have to do that, Josie. You can talk to me.”
“I know I can talk to you.” I’d already told her about going to the club to find her, how I’d met everyone, and even told her about Stitch torturing me. But I hadn’t told her exactly how I felt about Big. I couldn’t. It hurt too much to think about it, much less talk about it. “I just don’t see the point.”
“The point is… I’m your sister, and I want to know what is going on with you.” She gave me one of her looks as she asked, “Does this have anything to do with you and Big?”
“Maybe.” Like a pouting child, I fell back against the sofa and crossed my arms with a huff. “I thought there might be something between us, but I was wrong. So, there ya go. That’s what’s going on with me.”
“What makes you think you’re wrong?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because one minute he was acting like he was all into me, and then… poof… nothing.” I knew I was being unreasonable. Mike knew I didn’t want to leave my sister, especially when I’d just gotten her back, so he encouraged me to go with her. It was the right thing to do, but he could’ve acted like he actually cared. He seemed completely unfazed by the fact that I was leaving, making me think I’d been wrong about everything. “He hasn’t even tried to call.”
“Josie,” she scolded. “You aren’t exactly being fair. Have you tried seeing his side of things?”
“I know, but…”
“Have you tried calling him?”
“No.”
“Then call him.”
“That’s not going to happen. No way, no how.”
She shook her head as she looked up at the ceiling. “You have always been such a stubborn ass, Josie Carmichael.”
“I’m just not going to go chasing after some guy that obviously doesn’t give two shits about me.”
“Stubborn as the day is long,” she scolded.
“I don’t know what you expect me to do here, Tristen.”
“It’s time for you to decide what you really want. It’s obvious that you have a thing for him, otherwise you wouldn’t still be thinking about him.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” I scoffed, trying to make light of my feelings.
“You know I can tell when he’s on your mind. Your whole face lights up, and your cheeks get all flushed… just like they are now.”
“Whatever.”
“You’re in love with him.”
“I haven’t really known him all that long.”
“Doesn’t matter how long you’ve known him. You’re in love with him. The rest doesn’t matter.”
I knew it was crazy, but she was right. I did love him—more than I ever thought possible. After my parents died, I kept my guard up. I never let anyone in, no matter how great the guy, but in just a few short days, he managed to break through my walls and made me feel things that I never expected to feel. “So, what if I am?”
“Then, you have to do something about it.”
“Like what?”
“Like go after him! Stake your claim, woman.” She laughed, but I knew from the look in her eye she was being serious.
I mocked, “Stake my claim? Seriously?”
“With some guys, you have to dig around to find the good in them, if you find it at all, but it isn’t like that with Big. He’s got a good heart, and he’s loyal and kind… and dear lord, the man is incredibly hot. If you know in your heart he’s the one for you, then you have to go to him.”
“And what if he doesn’t feel the same about me.”
“No way that would happen. Big is smart enough to know a good thing when he sees it.”
“Maybe, but…”
“But nothing. You need to pack your bag and go get your man.”
“It’s not that simple. He’s hundreds of miles away, and you’re here. I can’t just up and leave.”
“You don’t have to keep doing this, Josie. I’m not the same stupid kid I was when Mom and Dad died. You don’t have to keep worrying about me. I’m okay. I’ve been okay for a long time.”
“I don’t mean to state the obvious here, but you were just kidnapped and almost—”
“You’re right, but I’m here now. And I’m doing just fine.” She walked over to me and reached for my hand. “You can’t keep worrying about me all the time, Josie. You’ve been doing it for years. You can’t focus on your own life when you’re always obsessing over mine. I may not always make the best choices, but good or bad, they are mine to make. It’s time for you to let go of the guilt and move on.”
“You were so mad at me when I left for school. I thought you’d never forgive me.”
“I was mad at the world, Josie. I had a huge chip on my shoulder, and I took it out on everyone I cared about. That’s what teenagers do,” she laughed. “But, I’m not a teenager anymore. I’ve gotten past all that, and yeah, I know my life is far from perfect, but I think I’m doing alright.”
“I think you’re doing better than alright.”
“I am, so there’s nothing holding you here. You need to get your butt in gear and go pack your bags. It’s time for you to go get your man.”
“My man?” I laughed. “I don’t even know how he really feels about me.”
“Do we need to go back over this again?” She shook her head and held up her finger. “First, he moved Heaven and Earth to get your sister back safe and sound.”
“That wasn’t because of me. He would’ve done that anyway.”
“Exactly. He’s good like that.” She smiled as she held up a second finger. “You said he acted jealous when he saw you in that bikini. He wouldn’t care if he didn’t have a thing for you.”
“He was being protective.”
“He was being possessive. That’s what men do when they want to claim a woman.” She cocked her eyebrow when she held up her third finger. “He took you out to Smokey’s place.” Her fourth finger popped up as she continued, “He took you out on his bike. That’s a big deal whether you realize it or not.”
“It was just a ride.”
“It’s never just a ride, Josie. Never.” Now, her entire hand was spread wide with all five fingers in my face. “He makes you smile and gets you all hot and bothered. If he wasn’t into you, you’d see that he was just trying to get into your pants, and he wouldn’t have that kind of effect on you.”
“Okay, fine. You can stop already.”
“Then, you’re going?”
“Maybe… I’ll think about it.”
“See? Stubborn as the day is long.”