Chapter 8
Zoe
I couldn’t stop staring at that text message. I tried to ignore it and pretend that Seth wasn’t awake, but my mind just kept going back to it. He was finally awake, and I wanted nothing more than to answer him back. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but I knew it was best for both of us for me to stay away. He was awake and obviously doing well enough to message me. There was no longer any reason for me to worry. I hated the thought of never seeing him again, but I had no choice. I had to find a way to let him go and move on.
Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. I got the strangest feeling whenever I was around him. Just being in the same room with him gave me a sense of peace, like everything was the way it should be and my crazy life wasn’t spiraling out of control. With him, I was okay—really okay—and now that he was gone, the fear and desperation started to creep back in.
It was a typical Saturday night. Nudie’s was packed, and the guys were acting like complete idiots. I did my best to keep my distance, but it didn’t work in my favor. I’d locked myself away in my office and was working on the final draft of my paper when the door was flung open. Slider came stumbling inside, and it was clear from his stagger and droopy eyes that he was plastered. “There you… are.”
“What do you want, Slider?” I growled as I stood up from my desk. I reached for my baseball bat, gripping it tightly around the handle as I took a step back. “You need to get the hell out of here.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he scoffed.
I felt the walls closing in as he started wobbling towards me. He was drunk, but he was still strong—much stronger than me. I knew if he cornered me, I’d never get away, so I slipped around the side of the desk. I lifted the bat and shouted, “Slider, get the hell out of my office!”
With lightning speed, he grabbed for the end of the bat and jerked it from my grasp. “Settle down now, darlin’. You and me are about to have us a little fun.”
He advanced forward. When I turned to bolt, he grabbed my arm. His fingernails dug into my skin causing me to screech in pain. “Damn it, Slider. You’re hurting me.”
He pulled me over to him, smashing me into his chest, and the smell of cigarettes and bourbon engulfed my senses. The heat of his foul breath sickened me as he grumbled, “I don’t know why you fight me like you do, baby cakes. You and I both know you want this as much as I do.”
“I wouldn’t want you if you were the last man on the planet!” I tried to pull free from his grasp, but he was holding me too tightly.
“You might as well get used to the idea, ‘cause you’re gonna be my ol’ lady. Soon, every inch of you is going to be mine.” He leaned closer with his mouth close to my ear as he slurred, “And once it’s official… I’m gonna fuck you good, Zoe girl.”
He’d finally lost it. The guy actually thought there was some absurd chance that I would end up with him. As I tried push him off me, I snarled, “That’s never going to happen.”
“Oh, no. It’s going to happen, baby. And it’s gonna happen real soon.” His hand dropped between my legs as he ran his fingers roughly across my center.
I was blinded with rage as I lifted my knee and slammed it into his crotch, making him buckle over in pain. If there was one thing my father taught me, it was how to defend myself against jerks like Slider; he’d just hoped I’d never have to use it. I would’ve done the same thing a few weeks ago, but Seth intervened before I had the chance. Just thinking about that night enraged me even more. While Slider was still toppled over, I lifted my knee again, ramming it into his face. His hands covered his face as he groaned in agony. I quickly grabbed it, twisting it tightly behind his back, I shouted, “Keep your damned hands off me, asshole!”
With his arm pulled behind his back, his body slammed against the wall with a thud. After several seconds of listening to him whine, I released him and started towards the door. I’d only taken a few steps when he grabbed me once again. I threw my fist back and was about to hit him when he mumbled, “You’ve got no choice, bitch. Either you become mine, or you’re cut off. All your daddy’s money belongs to the club. Being with me is the only way you’re ever gonna get it.”
I looked at him with disbelief, but when I saw the expression on his face, I knew he wasn’t just running his mouth. He’d meant it. “What are you talking about?”
He stood upright as he wiped the blood from his nose. “You had to know this was coming. Your ties to the club are gone, and without me, you’ve got nothing.”
“But Tank said—”
“Things change.” His demeanor changed as a proud look crossed his face.
“I got voted into office today. I’m the new Sergeant at Arms.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“I’m an officer now.”
“Again, what does that have to do with anything?”
His expression quickly changed into one filled with anger. “You wanna keep staying in this office or do you want to be out there on a fucking pole? ‘Cause I gotta tell ya, just the thought of you out there bouncing your tits around on that stage, the guys cramming all those bills in your thong, makes my dick hard.”
I felt like my world was crashing down around me. I was angry and hurt, but worse, I was trapped. I was twenty years old with no degree, no money, and no place to go. I considered my Aunt Janet, but I knew that wasn’t an option. Even though I knew she’d be willing to help, I just didn’t have the heart to ask. She already had her hands full taking care of Uncle Dan and her three kids. It was my problem, and I had to find a way to fix it.
I looked up at Slider, and the thought of being his ol’ lady sickened me. It wasn’t that he wasn’t attractive. He was—in his own roughneck way. But every time I looked at him, my skin crawled with disgust, and when he opened his mouth, he only made it worse.
“I’m not getting up on that stage, Slider. That’s not an option.”
“Then, you best be thinking about your next move, baby cakes, ‘cause shit’s about to change around here. You can count on that.”
Before he had a chance to say anything else, I grabbed my purse and rushed out. I needed to get the hell out of there. I stormed through the bar, ignoring everyone around me as I headed for the door. I heard Kat call out my name, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I was on the brink of tears, and I knew if I talked to her right then, I’d have a complete breakdown. I had to keep it together, at least until I got out of that godforsaken strip club. There was no way I would let those assholes know they’d gotten to me. I managed to hold on until I got into my car, but as soon as I closed my door, the dam broke. Tears started to cascade down my face as I sat there in the dark, alone and heartbroken. The reality of my screwed-up life was finally soaking in, and I just wanted to run away from it all. I wiped the tears from my eyes and started my car. With no destination in mind, I headed out onto the main road. As I drove along the old country roads, I tried to clear my head, but it was just too much. I needed to know what to do. I needed answers, but no grand revelations came, just more worries and doubts. After several hours, I ended up at one of my favorite spots on Elliot’s Bay.
I got out and walked over to the edge of the water. Normally, listening to the sounds of the water crashing against the rocks would calm me, but nothing could still the whirlwind of emotions that were raging inside of me. I felt lost and completely alone. I missed that feeling of peace I’d felt when I was in that hospital room with Seth, and without thinking, I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and stared at the message he’d sent earlier that night.
Seth:
Zoe?
Seth:
Are you okay?
Seth:
It’s Seth.
Just seeing the messages seemed to soothe me, to give me some sense of hope. I knew it was wrong. I knew no good could come from it, but I couldn’t help myself.
Me:
Hey Seth.
I stood there staring at the screen. Each second that passed seemed like an eternity as I waited for his response. I began to doubt myself, thinking it was a mistake to message him. I suddenly wished I could take it back. I was just about to give up entirely when my phone beeped.
Seth:
Zoe?
Me:
Yeah. It’s me.
Seth:
I was hoping to hear from you.
Me:
It’s hard to believe you’re really awake. You had us all pretty worried.
Seth:
So I’ve heard.
Me:
Are you doing okay? How are you feeling?
Seth:
Better now that I’ve heard from you. Was hoping to see you. I’ve missed the sound of your voice
Me:
My voice? You heard me?
Seth:
Every night, until you stopped coming. I was hoping I’d get a chance to get to know this mysterious girl in my dreams.
Me:
Sorry. I wanted to be there, but things around here got a little hectic.
Seth:
No need to be sorry for that.
Me:
I never got a chance to thank you for helping me.
Seth:
I’m not sure I was much help. I wish I could’ve done more.
Me:
You helped more than you know.
Seth:
So things are OK?
Me:
I’ve been better, but I’ll get through it.
Seth:
You want to come tell me about it? I’m a good listener.
Me:
I don’t know. It’s complicated.
Seth:
Complicated is my specialty. You helped me through a tough spot. Let me do the same for you.
Me:
Let’s just say things in my life aren’t turning out the way I’d hoped they would.
Seth:
You’re gonna have to give me more than that, doll. What’s going on?
Me:
I’m realizing that I’m not going to have the life that I wanted, and it isn’t an easy thing to accept.
Seth:
Who says you can’t have the life you want?
Me:
That’s the complicated part. It’s too hard to explain.
Seth:
Is this life you wanted important to you?
Me:
Yes. It means everything to me.
Seth:
Then there has to be a way. You just have to find it.
Me:
It’s not that easy.
Seth:
No one said it would be easy. You’ve just gotta be willing to grab the bull by the horns. You might get knocked down a time or two, but if it really means something to you, it’ll be worth it.
Me:
It’s a big bull, Seth. A big, mean, ornery, blood-thirsty bull.
Seth:
The bigger they are, the harder they fall, doll.
Me:
LOL. I sure would love to see that.
Seth:
Why don’t you come here, and we’ll find a way to break this bull together?
I stood there staring at the words on the screen, and I was tempted. Very tempted. The thought of seeing him made my stomach fill with butterflies. I wanted to go and just talk to him, but I knew I couldn’t. The stakes were too high, and I couldn’t risk him getting hurt again. As much as I hated to turn him down, especially after he’d given me the push I’d needed to take back my life, I had no choice.
Me:
As great as that sounds, I really can’t. Thanks for listening to me, Seth. It means a lot. Take care of yourself.
Seth:
You’ve got my number if you change your mind. I’m just a phone call away.
Just like he had in the hospital, he’d managed to set my mind at ease and calm the storm raging inside me. He’d given me the inspiration I needed to face things with the club. My life was worth fighting for. One way or another, I was going to find a way out of this mess. I was going to face that damned bull and have my eight seconds of glory, even if it meant going against the Chosen Knights MC.