Chapter Thirty-Two
Hailey
The sun was beating down hard as the afternoon came around. It was a beautiful day for the Masters, and I felt a fluttering in my belly. I felt so nervous for Caleb. I wished that I could be right out there with him by his side.
I would love to be there to encourage him and make him feel better when he got stressed out. If I was by his side, he might be okay to get through everything; I truly believed that. He got in his own head and didn’t know how to get out of it, but I could get him to focus if I was close to him. But I also knew that Matt was there and would do all he could to keep Caleb focused on the game. Matt was good for Caleb and would take care of him if he could.
I moved along with the crowd as they went from hole to hole. I could see Caleb and every now and then, he would find me in the crowd and make eye contact with me. I always smiled and hoped it brought him good luck. We got to the twelfth hole, and I knew that was a bad one. I had heard rumors about it and was worried about Caleb – this would be a bad one for all the golfers, never mind someone who had a tendency to choke up. I knew he would be worried about the hole, and I tried to get as close to him in the crowd as I could.
Every time that I looked at him, I knew with complete certainty that I was in love with him. Head over heels in love with him, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I was to return home in a week, and it killed me to think about it. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to be with him. But there was no reason for me to believe that I could be.
I almost choked up myself when I thought about the pregnancy test that I took earlier in the day. That was why I hadn’t gone to the club with Caleb that morning. I needed to be alone; I needed to know for sure.
I’d had some suspicions for a week now, but I couldn’t believe that I was pregnant. It just couldn’t be true. I needed to know for sure. To know for myself and not have to worry about it anymore.
I was pregnant, though; the test came out positive, and there was nothing I could do about it. I didn’t know what to do. All I wanted was to talk to Mandy and figure out what my next step should be. I didn’t see how I could keep the baby, not in the situation I was in. I had an audition coming up, never mind the fact that Caleb and I weren’t really together, and in a week, I would be a thing of the past.
I wasn’t sure if I could even tell him. In fact, I was sure that I couldn’t. I can’t tell him, right? No, it is too messed up. I would need to deal with the situation on my own, and I knew Mandy would be able help me in any way that she could.
It sucked to be in love with a man who didn’t love me back, but it was my own fault for getting in deep with him when I had a job to do. I should have been there as an employee, instead of falling in love with my boss. Now, I was in a hell of a mess with someone who wasn’t even my boyfriend. It sickened me just thinking about it, and I had to shut my mind off and focus on the game or I would lose it. I didn’t want to think about the mess I was in anymore.
It wasn’t part of the deal with Caleb. He didn’t ask for a girl to get pregnant and fall in love with him. He had hired me to be his girlfriend, an employee, and that was it. I had to accept the fact that things were about to be over between us. I kept trying to push my heart away from the situation because I knew deep down inside that it was going to get broken badly. It was inevitable, though – my heart was going to be broken.
I could feel the tension in the air at the twelfth hole. It was time for Caleb to play, and I felt sick just watching him. The way his shoulders tensed up scared me. He paused before he took a shot and walked away from the green. Oh, shit, I thought.
He walked away and let out a big long breath. He was choking – I could see it all over his face. I waved at him when he looked over at me. There was no smile this time; he was stressing out. I motioned for him to come over to me and he walked closer, willingly. He didn’t care if people were waiting for him; he was going to do whatever he wanted. He wasn’t feeling good and knew if he took the shot now, he would probably fail.
“Hey, baby,” he said as he approached me.
“I was just thinking about how you spread my legs last night and licked me.”
His eyebrows hit the top of his head, and a smile crept over his face. “Wow, that’s nice, Hailey.”
“Just focus on that, sweetheart. Just focus on everything we did last night, and you’ll be just fine. Fuck, focus on anything but this place, and you’ll be good.”
I leaned over and kissed him on the lips. He was grinning from ear to ear now, and I was glad that I could do that for him.
“Wow, baby, I think you gave me some wood. Do you think that’s a good idea right now?” He was laughing, and I laughed along with him.
“I think it’s a great idea. You can do this. I know you can do this, babe, I know it.”
“Thanks, Hailey. I better go.”
I blew him a kiss as he walked back to the green. Some of the other players looked annoyed, but he wasn’t fazed by any of them. He couldn’t have cared less about what they thought. I wanted him to be okay, and I prayed that he would be.
He steadied himself before my eyes; he was standing on the green and holding the iron Matt had given him. He was ready to hit it, and I held my breath as he did so. He hit the ball and it shot short, but in the way he needed it to because it was 150 yards. He got a hole-in-one, and I started jumping around screaming in excitement. He had done it! He had got through the hardest hole without choking. I was so proud of him. He turned to me and blew me a kiss as I smiled proudly at him.
I continued with the crowd as they moved to the next hole. However, I had a hard time focusing because watching Caleb made me really sad. I was so proud of him, but I also knew that as proud of him as I was, he wasn’t really mine. It was heartbreaking to think about it.
I just wanted to be with him, and that was all that mattered, but it didn’t matter to him, at all. I couldn’t even imagine life without him, but that was the reality for me. I was stuck, and there was nothing that I could do about that.
I followed the crowd with a deep sadness inside of me. I didn’t know what I was going to do without him. I couldn’t imagine raising a child without Caleb or any other father figure. My parents were in Europe and weren’t coming back anytime soon. I had an audition and a big move coming up; I couldn’t deal with a child on my own. I had a lot of things to think about, and wondering what I was going to do with the pregnancy was one of them.