Chapter Twenty-Seven
Cade
Three days after Valentine's Day, I meet Tyler for lunch. I’ve been waiting to talk to him about what’s going on between me and Serena, and I can barely contain myself, but somehow, I manage until after our waitress walks away with our orders.
“I think I’m in love with Serena,” I blurt out to him as he lifts his beer to his lips.
He stops mid-drink. “I’m sorry…what?”
“I think I love her, Ty.”
“I take it this means your over-the-top romantic Valentine's plans went well?”
“Better than I could have ever hoped. Dude, she’s perfect. I swear. I’m just… I have never been this happy.”
“And, you think you love her?”
“I don’t know how else to explain this feeling. How did you know with Tamara? I mean, you’re high school sweethearts. You’ve had the same woman in your bed for years, how did you know she was it?”
“We were high school sweethearts, but I was no angel, trust me. I messed around with a lot of girls before I met Tamara our senior year, and I had to fucking beg to get her to even consider going out with me. But she put her trust in me, and I never messed it up.
“At the time, I thought I needed to mess around, sow my oats so to speak, and not settle down too young. But when I met Tamara, I felt different about her. And after we went out and I got to know her, I knew. It just felt right. I had guys telling me to just keep her as a fling when they saw me starting to get serious, and I almost listened to them, but in the end, I followed my heart, and it was the best thing I could have ever done. You gotta trust your gut, so if you think you love her, go for it.”
“The other night, I think she thought I’d fallen asleep, but I heard her whispering, and so I listened. She said she thinks she’s falling in love, too. I almost told her then, but I didn't want to scare her off.”
“I promise you, Cade, once you listen to your heart, you’ll be at your happiest. Just think about that feeling you had when you finally kicked Josephine out of your life for good. Now imagine that tenfold when you tell Serena you love her for the first time. It’ll be worth it, trust me.”
I nod as Tyler continues. “I knew you were serious about her, I just didn’t realize you were this serious. So, when are you proposing?” he jokes.
“I don’t think we’re there yet, but one day. I’m definitely ready for this to be serious, have her and Alan move in with me, but I think she still has issues about her ex that might be a stumbling block for us.”
“Alan’s dad?” he asks.
“Yeah. She’s never really told me anything about him. She changes the subject whenever the topic starts to veer in that direction. I don’t know who he is, but I’d love to meet him and wring his neck for fucking her over. At the same time, I’d like to thank him for being a screw up so I can have her in my life.”
Tyler laughs. “If I’ve learned anything over the years, it's not to push when a woman doesn't want to talk about something. When she’s ready, she’ll share it all with you. Until then, you just gotta show her that you’re the right guy to have around her son. Be a good influence and all that, you know?”
“I know,” I nod. “I adore Alan. He’s smart as hell, cute, and man, put a football in the kid’s hands and he’s got talent to spare.”
“Sounds like Serena isn’t the only one you’re falling for,” Tyler laughs. “Seriously, though. If you need us, Tamara and I will double date with you again. You know, talk you up, sing your praises. Not that it sounds like you need the help.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Ty. I appreciate you listening today, and the advice.”
After lunch, I head home for a few hours before time to go to Serena’s for dinner with her and Alan. Since she busted my “home-cooked meal” a few weeks back as take out, she’s had me over at least once a week so we can cook dinner together. It’s been surprisingly fun to cook with her, and I’ve even learned a few things, too. But I still count down the time until I can see her.
***
I’m greeted by Alan at the door, who opens it, grins at me, waves, and then turns and runs toward the kitchen. I follow him.
We are making carbonara tonight and as I look over the ingredients she has laid out, I glance at Alan, who is now in the other room, and then I look back to Serena.
“He’ll eat this?” I ask her, gesturing to counter.
“Oh yes, he loves carbonara. Surprised me the first time he tried it. I mean, most kids love spaghetti, and Alan does, too, but carbonara is his absolute favorite food right now.”
“Is that bacon?” I ask as I point at the meat on the counter.
“It’s pancetta, otherwise known as Italian bacon. And, that block of cheese is Romano. Now, can you get the pasta boiling while I start frying the pancetta?” she asks with a smile.
I do as instructed and get the water going then wait for it to come to a boil before adding the pasta. While it cooks, I grate the cheese Serena hands me. We’re talking and laughing, and it hits me that this could be my life, and I don’t hate the idea of it. In fact, I really, really like the idea of it.
When the pasta is cooked, I drain the water and set the pot on a potholder on the counter. Serena adds the pancetta, and I add the grated Romano. She adds an egg and some pepper and then tosses the mixture together.
“Alan!” she calls out. “Go wash your hands, please!”
I hear his little feet scamper down the hall and into the bathroom as she sets the table. I pour glasses of water for the two of us and an apple juice for Alan and bring those to the table. Alan scampers into the dining room and climbs into his chair at the table. Serena ruffles his hair affectionately, and he ducks away from her touch. She just shakes her head and laughs the most beautiful laugh. I watch them, feeling my heart swell. She puts food on his plate and when she turns to sit down, I grab her, spin her to me, and claim her lips with mine.
When we pull apart, she looks up at me, a little breathless and cheeks flushed. “What was that for?” she asks quietly.
“I...” I falter for the right words because what I want to say feels too soon. “I just got caught up in the moment. Watching you with Alan. Thank you for letting me be a part of both of your lives.”
“Thank you for having us in yours,” she smiles and tugs her bottom lip between her teeth. It makes me want to kiss her again, but she pushes me toward my chair at the table and we both sit. I fill my plate and pass her the bowl so she can serve herself, as well. As we dig in, Alan begins to tell us about what he did at school, and I find myself engaged in the back and forth.
I’ve been away from my own family for so long, only seeing them a few times a year for the last twenty years. I had no idea how much I crave this sense of family and belonging until Serena re-entered my life. It feels so right, and I understand my conversation with Tyler from earlier in the day that much better. This is where I want to be, where my heart wants to be. I need to talk to Serena and make my feelings clear, and hope her feelings will be the same. Hope she meant what she whispered to me.
Serena gives Alan a bath while I clean up from dinner, washing the dishes and putting the leftovers away in the fridge. When I’m finished, I venture down the hall to Alan’s bedroom. I lean against the door and listen to Serena read Alan a story. When he looks up and sees me, he smiles.
“Now Cade reads me a story,” he insists, grabbing a book from Serena’s small stack and holding it out to me.
I step into the room as Serena stands, and I take the spot she left beside him on the bed. Alan hands me the book Goodnight Moon and snuggles up beside me as I flip open the pages and begin to read. “In the great green room, there was a telephone. And a red balloon.”
I glance up at Serena, who watches us intently. Her eyes are glistening, and I see her wipe away a tear. When I finish, I hug Alan and tell him goodnight. She smiles, and I stand as we trade places once more. She whispers to her son and kisses him goodnight. She turns out the light by his bed, and I follow her out of the room and back to the living room.
We settle on the couch, Serena under my arm, and we sit in silence together. It’s nice just to sit with her, and I think about telling her how I feel. I even try to say the words, but I can't find them. Eventually, I clear my throat and she looks up at me.
“Can I ask you something?” I start.
“Anything.”
“Why were you crying when I was reading to Alan?” Serena sits up and turns on the couch, sitting cross-legged so she’s facing me. I turn my body to face her as well and reach for her hands, holding them in mine as she searches for the words.
“I was more overwhelmed than I thought I would be watching you with Alan. He’s never had a man in his life other than my dad, and we don’t see my parents as much as we used to since they moved.”
“Hasn’t his dad ever wanted to meet him?”
She looks away from me. “It’s complicated, Cade. He wasn’t involved when I was pregnant and…it’s just been the two of us for so long that it just kind of hit me what Alan has been missing out on.”
I pull her to me and readjust so she’s sitting in my lap so I can hold her. “Alan is lucky to have a mom like you. And his dad, whoever he is, he’d have to be a complete moron for not wanting to know Alan. Your son is amazing, Serena, and that is all because of you.”
“Thank you, Cade,” she whispers, resting her head on my shoulder. “That means a lot.”
“You mean a lot to me. You and Alan. I mean that.”
“I know. You mean a lot to me, too.”
I grab her face in my hands and kiss her forehead tenderly. “I’ve never felt what I feel for you, Serena. Never. You make me happy, and I feel grounded and content. And, it has nothing to do with how fantastic you are in bed,” I wink at her to lighten how serious my words are.
She blushes and giggles, burying her face in my neck. Her lips press warmly to my skin, and I squeeze her to me.
“I am in this for the long haul, Serena. I know some people might think I’m crazy for getting involved with you because you have such a young son, but the truth is, I’d be crazy not to want to be involved. You are amazing, Serena Jacobs. Simply amazing, and I’m lucky that you let me be a part of your life.”
“I’m the lucky one, Cade. You could be with anyone. I mean, you’re a superstar athlete, and I’m an astrophysicist. Who would have ever thought we’d be here?”
I laugh. “We’re Penny and Leonard, except I'm Penny and you’re Leonard.”
She laughs, shakes her head at me, and moves off my lap and back to the spot beside me. “Do you want to watch a movie?”
“A movie sounds great, as long as it involves you curled up next to me.”