Chapter Twelve

Maddie

Isaac sat beside me in the hospital lobby. He playfully slapped at my hands as I wrung them like wet rags in my lap. I was nervous, scared, and even a little hopeful. Things had started to surface, not much, but at least some. “You’ll be fine,” Isaac assured me. I smiled in his direction, but I knew it was weak.

“Maddie,” the doctor entered the lobby with a smile. I stood, walked towards him, and didn’t even look back to see if Isaac was coming. I was too nervous to do anything except rush to the private consult room where I could hopefully get some answers.

“How have you been feeling?” the doctor asked with a wide smile.

“Frustrated,” I admitted as Isaac took the seat beside me.

“No memories?” the doctor asked, his tone questioning.

“I’ve had some bad nightmares,” I explained.

I noticed Isaac becoming fidgety in his seat, and the doctor leaning forward in concern. “What kind of nightmares?” he probed.

I explained to him in detail about the nightmares, and how odd I thought it was that I knew the man in my dream, but I didn’t know how. The doctor asked Isaac if there was a Rob in my life, or his, and he said no just like he had when I asked. It just didn’t make sense. “Did anyone attack Maddie or hurt her that you know of?” the doctor asked directly to Isaac.

“No,” he assured him.

“It could be a good sign. Maybe this is how your mind is going to heal and unravel the secrets it's hiding,” the doctor smiled.

I told him about the song, and the music box, and then the cooking show that led to a disaster. “Maybe cooking is something you’ve always wanted to do, but didn’t,” the doctor suggested. “That would be a great hobby for you, but I suggest starting out small and working your way into the tougher recipes,” he chuckled.

His smile was warm and inviting, and his eyes honest and pure. I trusted him when he told me things would get better, and I had to just believe him.

“As for the memory triggers, you said Maddie didn’t live here, and that you would make a trip to Portland; has that happened yet?” he asked Isaac.

“I’ve been trying to get caught up on work,” he said quickly.

“Okay, well, we need to make that happen as soon as possible,” the doctor instructed.

“I offered to go alone,” I chimed in, hoping he’d give me the pass to go if Isaac never made the plans.

“I don’t think that is such a good idea. Unless you have someone that you know and trust to meet you at the airport,” the doctor said.

Ugh! I didn’t know anyone, so how would I know if they were to be trusted?

“Is there a chance that I’ll never remember?” I asked, my voice squeaking as I spoke.

I was scared to death to hear the answer. I couldn’t imagine leaving twenty-five years behind and starting fresh, no memories, nothing.

“There is always a chance, but I would say that is less than two percent,” the doctor replied.

Relief fell over me like a warm blanket. That was a very low chance, but I shuddered at the thought of there still being that chance.

“So, for now, I want you to use cooking as a hobby, stay at the gym where you said you felt the most comfortable, and plan that trip to Portland,” he smiled directly at me. His teeth were so white they nearly glowed, and his dark hair wavy and long, falling onto his shoulders in a loose curl. He was a handsome man. I wondered if that was my type before. I looked at Isaac, blond, cropped hair, beautiful green eyes, muscular and serious. Was he my type?

“Well, that was all good news,” Isaac boasted as we left the office.

“I guess,” I sighed.

“Let’s get some food,” Isaac suggested.

I was hungry, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I hated not remembering what I liked until I saw it or tasted it. “I have no idea what I want,” I whined.

“I have an idea,” Isaac boasted with a wide smile smeared across his face. He gripped my hand and pulled me towards the Escalade where he helped me inside. He wouldn’t tell me where we were going, and no matter how many times I begged for a hint, he just smirked.

Finally, we pulled into a restaurant parking lot with a large sign that read “World’s Largest Buffet,” I smiled, realizing he was going to let me try everything I wanted in one sitting.

“Seriously?” I laughed.

“Yes. You can at least see everything, smell it, and just put what you think you like on your plate,” he instructed as he slid out of the truck.

He came to my side, helped me out of the truck, and then slid his hand in mine as we walked towards the front door.

The aroma of all the foods cooked inside made my mouth water. I was ready to try it all. “They have ethnic foods in each of the four corners,” he pointed out as he showed me where everything was organized.

We took a seat in a booth that was nearest to the buffet and ordered water from the waitress. Isaac smiled as he handed me a plate. “Ready to try?”

I was so ready. This would be a great chance for me to learn something about myself, even if it was something as simple as knowing my tastes.

I held my plate and walked with Isaac through the buffet tables. He reached for all the fried foods, spicy Asian dishes, and decadent desserts while I was a little choosier. By the time we made it back to the table, I’d chosen brown rice, salmon, asparagus, fresh fruit, and a fresh spinach salad. “Wow, you went right back to your roots,” Isaac teased.

“I did?” I asked excitedly.

He nodded with a smile. “You were a yoga instructor, and look at your body. Of course you ate healthily,” he teased.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I questioned, feeling a little uneasy about whether he truly knew me or not.

“The doctor said not to push anything on you, to let you make the choices,” he explained.

I knew he had, but I also knew that Isaac hadn’t brought very many options for healthy foods into the house while I’d been there. Cookies, chocolate milk, and large jars of peanut butter were in abundance, but as far as healthy choices, a few fruit options, iced tea, and salad mixes were about it.

“See, your brain knows what it wants,” Isaac smiled.

“I guess it does,” I replied, feeling a sense of connection to myself for once.

“So, you want to buy a TV for the kitchen so you can follow the cooking shows like the doctor suggested?” he asked.

I wasn’t completely sold on the idea of cooking as a hobby, especially after my last incident of nearly burning down the house. “You may have had it as a secret desire somewhere deep in your mind,” he convinced me.

“Okay,” I agreed.

If my brain knew what it wanted, then sleeping with Isaac that night must’ve been a sign. I tried eating a few different things, and my brain told me instantly I didn’t like it, like mustard, dill pickles, and chunky peanut butter. I loved the sex with Isaac, his touch, his scent, his flavor. If that wasn’t something I wanted, my brain would’ve shut it down like it had the pickle that I tried to swallow, right?

We left the restaurant, but not before Isaac had gone back for seconds, mostly desserts. How in the hell does he stay so fit eating like that?

We stopped at the electronics store and bought a thirty-two inch TV for the kitchen, and Isaac was eager to get it hooked up and some healthy cooking shows set up in the DVR for me to follow. “Anything you need, like ingredients, just tell me,” he insisted.

“Are you going to eat it?” I asked, wondering if he even cared about eating well. I’d never seen him work out, there were no weights in the house, and he never offered to go to the gym with me. If the gym, eating healthy, and saving the planet were things that were important to me, what did we even have in common?

“I’ll try,” he grinned.

His green eyes widened, and he stared at me with a hunger. My body was reacting to the time we’d spent together, and the way he looked right then in front of me. I wanted him, but I wasn’t sure I was ready. It had been a long day, and I had a lot on my mind.

“I’ve got some work to do,” Isaac sighed, obviously disappointed by my lack of interest in his seductive eyes.

“Okay. I’m going to take a shower and head to bed,” I replied, trying to act as casual as possible.

“I’ll meet you in bed soon. Keep my side of the bed warm,” he winked.

I smiled forcibly, trying to hide my reservations. I’d been sleeping in his bed for the last few nights, but a part of me wanted my own space for the evening. “Would you mind if I slept in the guest room tonight? I’m just really exhausted,” I asked shyly.

His squared chin shifted, and his eyes narrowed as he worked a smile onto his face. I watched his long fingers, the ones that had teased my pussy so skillfully, slide through his short blond crew cut. Tingles of excitement rolled through my body, making me question my decision. “I understand,” Isaac said sweetly.

He leaned in, lowering his tall frame to snatch a quick kiss from my lips. Electricity shot through my body from our touch. His lips were so soft, so smooth, that I wanted to suck them into my mouth and get every last ounce of flavor from them.

Isaac pulled back, his eyes glowing with mischief, and his lips curled into a wickedly sexy smile. Fuck, he knows I want him.

“Goodnight,” I blurted and rushed past him and up the stairs to my room.

I wisht I could shake the feeling of doubts I had about Isaac. He is an amazing man, sexy, smart, and sensitive. He’s been nothing but sweet to me this entire time, and I am starting to fall for him. I just can’t let go of the feeling that something isn’t quite right.