Chapter Seven

Isaac

Sex with Maddie was everything I’d imagined it to be, and more. Her body was in fantastic shape, and her muscle control amazing, everywhere. I spent the day after trying to stay close to her, but I kept feeling her pull away. It was Saturday morning now, almost two days since our amazing connection, and I still felt the awkward tension between us.

I had to leave to meet up with one of my SEAL buddies, a monthly breakfast ritual I normally looked forward to, but not today. I hated to leave, to give Maddie even more space, and possibly allow her to grow even further from me.

Her small frame was stretched up to her tippy-toes as she reached for the coffee mug on the top shelf of the cabinet. Damn, that body. I wanted more; I needed more.

“Want some help?” I whispered in her ear, pressed up against her back so she could feel my erection.

“I got it,” she said, turning towards me, letting me trap her against the counter. Her eyes filled with a strange look, similar to what I’d say was fear. Fuck! I don’t want to scare her off, not after we got so close.

Her hand trembled as she gripped the mug, and it was clear my closeness was making her uneasy. I stepped back, smiled, and tried to shake off the rejection with some class. My mind was reeling, wondering if she was remembering more and more. Did she remember who the man in her nightmare was? Did she finally see his face? Did she remember me?

“I’m sorry,” she sighed.

Her beautiful blue eyes widened as they pierced mine. The sun grabbed glimmers of shine in her hair, making it sparkle in the light. She truly was beautiful. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.

“Don’t be,” I quickly retorted.

Her lips quivered into a faint smile. I wanted to lean in, to hug her, kiss her, but I knew that would only make things worse.

“The other night was amazing,” she proclaimed.

Okay, so why the cold shoulder now?

“Yes, it was,” I admitted.

“I just don’t think I was truly ready for it. I enjoyed it so much, and I needed it at that moment. I felt alone, scared, and in your arms, I felt safe,” she rattled nervously.

“I understand. I don’t mind being used,” I smirked.

“I just don’t want you to think it meant I was ready for us to go back to the way it was, because I still have no idea what it was like,” she sighed.

Guilt rolled over me like a cold shower. My love for Maddie was so strong, and I knew, even so, this was wrong. “I get it,” I replied quickly. Then silence settled between us.

“I have to head out for a little bit,” I explained, hoping she wouldn’t find it offensive. It had nothing to do with her rejection, although getting away for a bit after it, and away from the guilt I felt, it was a relief to be leaving.

“Are you going to be okay?” I asked.

Her face tightened, and I could see the irritation she felt. She’d been trapped in this house for over a week, with no memories, no idea of what to do with herself, and I knew it was making her more than a little frustrated.
“I think I’ll play on the beach,” she said, her voice strangely content.

I smiled, leaned in, kissed her gently on the forehead, and headed out the door. I was happy she was going to spend some time on the beach. I knew it wouldn’t churn up any memories, especially since there wasn’t an ocean close to her Portland address. A sigh of relief fell from my throat I was climbed into my Escalade and headed into town.

Elijah Grant sat in our regular booth inside the small café. The large window allowed me to get a glimpse of him as I pulled into the gravel lot. The place was rundown, old, but the food was pretty good. Elijah said they had the best cup of coffee in the town, and he’d gladly drive a hundred miles to get it. He joked, but he did drive forty to meet me there each month.

His dark hair was still buzzed short, and he wore a tight flannel that showed off his impressive muscles. To look at him, most would think he was a hardass, but in reality, he was the nicest guy I’d ever met.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Elijah shouted as I entered the diner.

“They’ll let anyone in this place,” I retorted as I slid into the booth seat across from his.

The waitress, the little red-head that served us every month, was quick to reach our table and fill my cup. “How the hell ya been?” Elijah asked.

I smiled forcibly and sipped my coffee before answering. It was hot, burning my lips, but I didn’t care. It was better than answering that question honestly. I needed a moment to make sure I could convince him everything was okay.

“It’s been great,” I choked, shaking my head to kill the burn of the coffee on my lips.

He chuckled. “No patience. That’s your number one flaw still, eh?” he teased.

I knew he was referring to our military days. I was the first one out, the first one to rush in, and always the first one to get reprimanded for not slowing the fuck down. My fast actions saved his ass a couple times, and he knew it. I didn’t mind him teasing me; I actually enjoyed it. He was like an older brother to me. I looked up to Elijah; I respected him.

“I already ordered,” he announced, nodding towards the waitress walking towards us with our plates.

“Good. I’m starving,” I replied. I wasn’t really, but I was eager to get back home, not only to see Maddie, but to see her in a bikini.

Three large eggs, over-easy were situated on a pile of biscuits and gravy. Four slices of thick-cut bacon sat on top in the shape of a star. “Holy shit,” I gasped as I looked at the plate. “What happened to eating healthy?” I laughed.

“Fuck, you only live once,” Elijah laughed, already digging into the gravy with his fork.

Last time we met, he was on a health kick, and he had been for several months before that. I wasn’t sure what changed, but I knew if he wanted to tell me, he would.

“You look good,” he complimented with a wink.

“You too; everything going okay?” I asked, pushing for a reason for the artery-clogging plate of food.

“Nickels died. Massive stroke; he was only thirty-seven,” Elijah said nonchalantly.

I was shocked. My back pushed against the booth and I stared at him for a reaction but gone none. “So, you think eating this shit will work for us?” I half-joked.

“He never ate meat. He worked out every day, and he was in better shape than either of us. Life is too fucking short because there aren’t any guarantees,” he spouted.

I watched him scarf up his food, shoving a bite larger than the last in one after another. “When?” I asked.

“Last week,” he paused.

He was in our team, older than both of us, more experienced, and one that helped lead us. I couldn’t believe it. “Yeah. Life is too fucking short,” I sighed, reaching for my fork.

I listened to him give me details about the funeral and how he left behind his wife and three kids. It was saddening to think he did everything right, but still ended up dead before he even hit forty. It made me think of Maddie. I knew what I was doing was questionable, but life was too short not to go after what I wanted. I knew she was safe with me, safer with me than without. She didn’t have anyone else, no family, and no friends thanks to her abusive ex, so she was better off.

“What’s going on with you?” Elijah asked.

I shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit,” he boasted.

“Seriously, I’m okay,” I protested.

His eyes narrowed on me, and his lips tightened. I knew he could see right through me. It wasn’t just the Nickles thing; there was more, and he could sniff it out.

I wasn’t ready to discuss Maddie with him, or with anyone, even though I thought he might be the only one to understand.

“You got something on your mind,” he pushed.

I sighed. “I do. But, I’m not ready to talk about it,” I answered with my only acceptable, honest response.

“When you are, you come to me. You know I’m here for you,” he insisted.

I knew he was, but I wasn’t positive if he could help me with my situation. I’d dug a hole pretty deep.