Chapter Thirty-Two

Maddie

I felt someone nudging my shoulder as I opened my eyes. My head was against the glass window of the bus. It was stopped, in a large parking lot, and the little old lady beside me was rustling me awake. “We’re here, dear,” she said, her voice sweet and shaky.

I heard my own grandmother’s voice suddenly. I was certain it was her. “Maddie, don’t ever think you can’t do anything you set your mind to do,” she said. Tears filled my eyes, and I choked back my painful memory. “Thank you,” I said politely to the old woman who was now out of her seat and in line to get off the bus.

My phone was flashing and I had many missed calls from Isaac but I didn’t want to talk to the liar.

I waited until everyone had moved from the back and stepped out behind the last passenger.

I wasn’t sure if I would recognize Rob or not, still not certain if he was the man in my bad dreams. “Maddie!” a familiar voice called out, causing me to turn and face the man who haunted my nights. It was him.

My feet froze in their spot as he rushed towards me. He wrapped his arms around me, squeezed me tight, and nuzzled his nose into my neck. It was cold, causing me to shiver. I pulled back from his embrace, still unsure if I trusted if he was who he said he was. After everything I’d been through, it was hard to trust. After the dream where he was hurting me, yelling at me, it was hard to trust. His eyes were wide and filled with what appeared to be relief, satisfaction, love maybe; I wasn’t sure. Even Isaac told me my memories could play tricks on me, the same thing the doctor had told me. Maybe that was why I started to remember Isaac, because of the pictures, his kindness, the need to remember. Did I even know him? Did I ever know him?

“Let’s get you home,” Rob said, picking up the suitcase that was placed beside me. I followed him, still staring at him intensely, trying desperately to remember. Did I love him?

He opened the trunk of a little black car and shoved my suitcase inside. He opened the passenger door, waited for me to get situated inside, and then shut the door. My chest tightened as I started to feel closed in, trapped. Rob opened the door, slid into the driver’s seat, and then stared at me with confusion in his eyes.

“You okay?” he asked.

I nodded, took a deep breath, and then exhaled to relax my heart rate. Rob seemed satisfied enough that I was calmed down, and started the car.

“How far is my apartment? Or do I have a house?” I asked.

“About ten minutes up the road,” he replied without taking his eyes off the road.

I was relieved that the trip would be short. For someone I was supposed to be engaged to, he felt like a complete stranger.

“So, you don’t know why I went to Miami?” I asked.

He didn’t respond right away. Instead, his lips tightened, and I noticed his right eye twitching. “You mean you don’t know?” he finally replied but didn’t answer.

I shook my head and slouched down into the leather seat. It was a nice car. He was dressed nice, and was very fit.

“How did your accident happen?” he asked.

“I was jogging, and a car hit me,” I answered nervously.

“Why did you end up with Isaac?” he probed.

“He was there when I woke up. The doctors and the police said he came to the hospital with me, that we were running together,” I explained, staring at Rob’s face for some reaction. Another twitch of the eye, and again the pursed lips.

Even though he didn’t act angry, I got the feeling he was upset with me, and that feeling felt very familiar. “Just a few minutes and you’ll be home, and this will be all over,” Rob said, his voice eerily chipper.

We finally pulled up in front of a large red brick building. It was the one I’d seen in my dreams, the one where I fought with the man who choked me, the man who I believed to be Rob.

“Did we have a fight?” I asked.

He didn’t answer. His lips curled into a crooked smile and he got out of the car. He walked around to my side, opened the door, and then helped me out onto the sidewalk. I stood there, staring at the building, remembering it, as he pulled out my suitcase.

I opened the doors to the apartments and started walking up the steps. It was as if my body was on auto-pilot, no need for me to think of where to go because it just knew the way. Three flights later, I stopped. I stood in front of a red door with the number twelve on it.

“This is my apartment?” I asked for reassurance.

Rob nodded and then pulled out a set of keys. He fumbled until he found the one he wanted, his hand shaking the entire time. “Guess that memory is coming back quickly,” he half-chuckled.

“The doctor’s told me coming home might help,” I said, walking into my apartment for the zillionth time, but for the first time.

The door shut behind me, and Rob walked past me with my suitcase in his hand. I watched him go down a long hallway, and duck into one of the rooms. The place was large, very clean, and decorated with soft pastels. Mail was piled up on a small table by the couch. I picked it up and stared at the name. “Who is Maddie Stewart?” I asked as Rob came back into the room.

He stopped, stared at me with a strange grin, and then laughed. “That’s you,” he said.

“I thought my name was Maddie Grubbs?” I questioned. That was the name that Isaac told me, the one that I’d used on the police reports, the hospital paperwork, and for everything else while I was in Miami.

“Grubbs was your grandmother’s last name,” he noted.

My head felt light and dizzy. I turned to make my way to the couch where I fell into the soft white cushions. “I wonder why he told me that,” I mumbled.

Rob snickered and let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sure he was telling you whatever he had to in order to get in your pants,” he hissed.

His tone frightened me. My body tensed as I sat up on the couch. I didn’t want to make eye contact. I didn’t want him to know that’s exactly what happened, that Isaac had gotten into my pants.

Rob moved across the room, his gait slow and mechanical. He stopped in front of me, standing tall and firm. “Did he tell you he bought you that ring?” he asked, his lip curling up as he spoke.

I watched his eye twitch and his expression turn as cold as his tone. “Yes,” I admitted, suddenly scared of the man in front of me. I was just as scared as I’d been in my dreams.

He let out another sigh, turned and walked away. I was relieved. I feared his next question would be if I slept with Isaac, and I wasn’t sure I could lie to him. I scanned my apartment, noticing a laptop on my table. I got up, moved towards it, and opened it up. The screen prompted a password, one which I couldn’t remember. “Do you know my password?” I asked Rob, who was now pacing nervously around the living room of my apartment.

“Scooter,” he said quickly.

I laughed. “Why Scooter?” I asked.

“It’s my dog’s name,” he answered quickly.

That didn’t sound like a password I’d make for myself. “Did you change my password?” I asked.

“Jesus, why are you acting so fucking weird?” he roared.

I tensed as I typed in the password. The screen opened, and I quickly browsed through all my social media accounts looking for Isaac. He wasn’t anywhere. I checked my e-mails: nothing. How did I know him? How did he know me so well?

“When did my grandmother die?” I asked Rob.

“I don’t know, sometime after you graduated college,” he snapped.

Isaac knew that.

“Did I ever talk about her?” I asked.

“What’s with all the grandmother questions? Sure, you talked about her, but I don’t remember what you said,” he snarled.

I moved from the laptop and walked down the hall. I stepped into the bedroom, my bedroom. There were two old dolls sitting on a chair near my bed. Tears filled my eyes. I remembered my grandmother gave those to me. Rob hated them; his voice was in my head telling me how creepy they were, and that I was a grown woman and I should throw them out. Isaac told me about my grandmother, that she collected dolls, birdfeeders, and he laughed about her being a hoarder.

Confusion flooded my mind as I tried to piece everything together. The pictures he’d shown me, I could remember Isaac from the neighborhood, playing ball in the street, sitting on my front porch drinking lemonade. I did know him, but how did I end up in Miami with him?

“Pack a bag and we’ll stay at my place,” Rob ordered. His tone was still filled with frustration and anger. The worried, concerned, and loving man that lured me from the hotel room I shared with Isaac was gone. This man, the one who now barked orders at me, was one I began to remember.

“Why? I want to stay here and try to remember,” I protested. That was the whole point to me coming home: to remember. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was afraid to go to Rob’s. I was afraid to go anywhere with Rob.

“He’s probably going to come looking for you here. It’s not safe. The man is a lunatic, and needs to be arrested,” Rob argued.

I wasn’t sure that was true. Isaac wasn’t a lunatic. He hadn’t done anything to hurt me, and he never spoke to me the way Rob had. There had to be a reason I was in Miami with him, but why hadn’t he told me the truth?

“He doesn’t know where I live,” I argued, not even sure if that was true. Maybe Isaac did know where I lived. He seemed to know plenty about me.

“Yeah, bullshit,” Rob snorted.

My eyes narrowed on Rob as he rushed into my bedroom. He came out a few moments later with a suitcase, the same one I’d traveled with. “Let’s go,” he demanded, pulling at my arm.

“No,” I refused, jerking my arm away from him.

“Do you want him to find you?” he asked, his eyes dark and cold. “Did you run away to be with him? Did you sleep with him?” he demanded.

It was the question I’d dreaded. Earlier it was more from embarrassment and fear of hurting someone who I’d promised to marry. Now it was fear. I didn’t want to answer Rob. “Did you?” he spat, his lip curling up and his eye beginning to twitch wildly.

My heart pounded against my chest. Fear consumed me, filled my veins, and I froze in my spot. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. The man in front of me, the one who claimed to love me was scaring me, but the other one, the one I thought I loved lied to me about so much. I was truly alone.