Chapter Thirty-Six

Maddie

 

I was shaking as the officer asked me what happened. I was embarrassed, but I told him the truth, all the way from when I ran to Miami to get away from him and lost my memory. “I was coming home to jog my memory,” I sighed, leaning against the wall outside my apartment.

“So, you were traveling with Isaac?” he asked.

“Yes,” I admitted.

“How did you end up with the assailant?” the officer probed.

Tears fell from my eyes, and I began to shake. I wasn’t sure how to explain what happened without causing Isaac trouble. I didn’t want to see him in trouble, at least not after he saved me. I remembered we were friends, and I remembered his kindness, helping me get to Miami and away from Rob. “I started remembering, and I talked to Rob. He sounded so sincere, so desperate to see me, so I left Isaac and took a bus,” I explained.

The officer seemed satisfied with what I said, not questioning anything about mine and Isaac’s relationship. “Once he picked me up, his tone started to change, and I remembered how awful he’d been to me. Isaac was told by the doctors to let me remember on my own, so he didn’t tell me about Rob,” I added.

“Is he going to stay with you now?” the officer asked. I quickly shook my head. I didn’t want Isaac to stay, even though I hated the thought of being alone. He’d betrayed me, lied to me. I couldn’t trust him, not fully.

“I’m fine. I just want to be alone,” I insisted.

The officer explained that Rob was being taken to jail and would be held without bond until court in January. I was relieved that I didn’t have to worry about him coming back to harm me, and relieved that my memories were back, even if some were uncomfortable and made me sad.

“If you need anything, just call,” the officer handed me his card. His eyes were dark and intense, his face chiseled and masculine. He was a handsome man, a kind man, and something about him reminded me of Isaac.

“Thank you,” I said softly, walking back inside my apartment.

Isaac and Elijah were standing near my couch with an officer by their side. I didn’t want to speak to him, not yet, and maybe not ever. My heart ached at the mere sight of him. I loved him. But, it wasn’t real. He tricked me.

The officer patted Elijah and Isaac on the back and then moved towards me. “You okay here, ma’am?” he asked. I nodded and fought back my tears.

“Do you want us to stay?” Elijah asked as he approached me. The officers were already gone, and the apartment was already feeling lonely.

“No, thank you,” I mumbled.

Isaac kept his distance, a few feet behind Elijah. His eyes penetrated into my soul, making me want to reach out, wrap my arms around him, and fall into his arms. “Are you sure?” Elijah asked again.

“I’m sure. I need time alone, to process everything,” I explained.

I waited until Isaac exited the apartment before following Elijah to the door. I wondered if he knew what Isaac was doing this entire time, and if so, why he’d allowed it. I smiled and shut my door, locking each of the locks and then double-checked that they were locked.

I was alone in my apartment. I was totally alone in my life.

My eyes scanned the room, taking in every single item. Some I remembered, some I didn’t. It wasn’t home, at least not yet, not now.

Pictures of Rob and I were all over the place. I took each one from the tables, from the walls, and shoved them in a basket under my coffee table. I wished I hadn’t remembered him at all.

It was late, and my eyes were heavy. I walked into the bedroom, pulled open each of my drawers until I found some comfy clothes, and quickly changed into them. I climbed into bed with my laptop and my phone that the cops retrieved from Rob’s pocket. I hadn’t turned it back on yet, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. If Isaac tried to call, I wasn’t ready to talk to him, and it didn’t appear I had anyone else in my life.

I browsed through my laptop, checking my social media accounts. I was a personal trainer, not a yoga instructor like Isaac told me. No wonder I didn’t find a connection with the exercises, but I did in the gym near his home.

All of my accounts seemed to be for business, except Facebook, which seemed to only have pictures and Rob and me together. I started deleting them one by one and then blocked his name from my accounts. I changed my password and looked through my friend list. My memory started to come alive as I looked through each of their pages. A knot formed in my gut as I realized there was no one I was close to. My page was filled with acquaintances, and a few friends from school and from college that I knew I’d lost track of.

I stared at my grandmother’s dolls sitting in the chair near my bed and let the tears fall from my eyes. I missed her badly. Having her memory back was like losing her all over again. “What happened to me?” I sobbed. “When did I become this person that allowed someone to control me?”

My eyes grew heavier and heavier as I slid into my bed. The comforter was heavy but soft and my mattress so fluffy that I sunk into it like a bed of feathers. All I wanted to do was sleep, to remember, and to forget.

There were no bad dreams, no nightmares of being hurt. There were only dreams. Dreams of Isaac. I couldn’t push him out of my mind, no matter how hard I tried. I could feel his touch, taste his kiss, and smell his cologne. I tossed and turned, my heart aching for him as my body squirmed beneath the heavy comforter. It would take time, but I’d forget him.