Chapter Seven

 

I woke up early, but didn’t get out of bed. I laid there awake, staring at Carter, the man I knew I was falling for, had probably already fallen for, but didn’t want to fully admit it.

He looked so peaceful, finally, after a restless night. He’d held me in his arms for an hour, not talking, not crying, but just holding me. His pain resonated through his breathing, his heartbeat, and pushed into me, even though he was trying to hide it. I knew he’d had a scary day, probably one of the worst he’d ever seen.

That officer, the one they wouldn’t name, was Michael Leo, a twenty-seven-year-old officer who’d just recently joined the force. He didn’t survive the gunshot to the head. It had killed him instantly, and without suffering, or so they said on every news station.

Carter didn’t talk about it, or him, but I could feel his pain as he held me.

He tossed and turned most of the night, mumbling gibberish I couldn’t understand. But now, he was peaceful. I didn’t dare move to wake him.

My heart ached at the thought of losing him. I stared at his features, taking them all in as if to remember them in case he suddenly vanished from my life. His squared chin, the scar above his lip, his thick dark eyelashes, and bushy brows, and the high cheekbones that made his cheeks round when he smiled, I wanted to remember it all.

“Good morning,” he mumbled, his eyes opening to see me staring at him.

“Good morning,” I said softly.

“I’m sorry if I kept you up,” he said.

“You didn’t keep me up. I couldn’t sleep,” I admitted.

He rolled towards me, pulling me into his warm chest. I could hear his heart beating hard and strong, and even though I feared he couldn’t keep himself safe, I felt safe in his embrace.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked, pulling back to stare into my eyes.

“I’m okay,” I said, not wanting to burden him with my stressful thoughts.

“Naomi, what is it?” he asked, pushing himself up against the headboard of my bed.

A thousand thoughts flashed through my head, and none of them were ones I wanted to share, at least not right now. “Do you wanna talk about last night?” he asked.

“No. I know it’s part of the job,” I said, tears starting to well up in my eyes.

“It is,” he agreed.

“Why do it?” I asked, fighting back my sobs.

“There’s a lot of good that comes with being a police officer, too,” he said. “I help people, every day, one way or another, I help them. If I died working as an auto mechanic, and a car fell on me, what would’ve I left behind? Nothing. If I die in the line of duty, it was protecting someone,” he said convincingly.

“What made you want to do this?” I asked, trying my best to understand where his heart and head collided.

“My dad was an abuser. He used to beat my mom, and me,” he said softly.

His eyes narrowed as he told the story about a drunken old man who seemed to hate life, hate living. “My mother always made excuses for him, saying he promised he wouldn’t do it again,” he sighed. “I wanted to be on the right side of the law, and have a chance to help people, people like my mom, like me,” he added.

My heart swelled so large inside my chest I thought I’d explode. I couldn’t imagine Carter growing up in a home like that, with a dad so angry and mean.

“That’s why I worry about you, why I want to protect you,” he said, stretching his arm over my shoulder and pulling me back into him.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” I whispered.

“It’s okay. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be doing what I do today, and I love what I do,” he said. “The real question is, can you handle being with someone who puts their life on the line every day without hesitation?” he asked.

I took a deep breath. “Yes. If it means being with you, then I can,” I said, even though I truly wasn’t sure I could deal with it.

“Good. Now, let’s get you some breakfast. I have to be at the station for a ceremony at noon,” he said without blinking an eye.

I slid out of the bed as Carter playfully slapped my ass. I knew he was hurting, that he’d been hurt most of his life, but he still managed to be kind, to be playful, to be himself.

Carter was dressed and standing at the bedroom door, staring at me lovingly as I slid a t-shirt on over my tank top. “I’m going like this,” I joked, motioning to my yoga pants, and then my hair on top of my head.

“I wouldn’t want you any other way,” he said.

“You’re not embarrassed to be seen with me?” I teased.

He moved towards me, pulling me into his arms. His lips pressed against mine, bursting into a passionate kiss that left me weak and dizzy. He had an effect on me all right, one that no one else ever had before. I’d learn to deal with his job, his risks, and just enjoy every moment I had with him.

“Let’s go, before I throw you down on this bed,” he gasped.

Today was our one month anniversary, and I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t. There were so many things I wanted to tell Carter that morning, but I couldn’t work up the nerve. I didn’t want to scare him off, and besides, it had been a horrible day the day before, and with what he had coming up at the station, it wasn’t going to be much better today.

“I’m ready,” I said with a smile.

He held my hand as we walked out of the bedroom and out the front door. I was looking towards Marlene’s house, not realizing what had made Carter stop in his tracks. “What the fuck?” he screamed, letting go of my hand.

I turned to see his truck, his shiny red truck that I knew he loved, covered in spray paint, the side mirrors ripped off and the windshield cracked. “Who would do such a thing?” I gasped.

“Greg, that’s who,” Carter snapped.

“Greg?” I asked, surprised he’d assume it was him.

“Yeah. Who the fuck else would’ve done this?” he asked, or more like yelled at me.

“Kids? I don’t know. But, I don’t think it was Greg,” I argued.

“Look around, Naomi. Do you see anyone else’s vehicle destroyed? No, just mine,” he roared.

“Look. I know Greg’s an ass, but he wouldn’t be stupid enough to vandalize a cop’s vehicle. And, I seriously don’t think he would stoop to this level,” I said.

“Wow, just fuckin’ wow!” Carter screamed. “I can’t believe you’re defending your ex right now,” he said under his breath.

“I’m not defending him, I just know him better than this,” I explained.

“You know him better? He wouldn’t stoop to this level, but he’d stoop to hitting a woman? You know him so well—but did you see that coming?” he snarled.

“No, but…” I stuttered.

“But nothing. Greg did this, and he’s gonna pay,” Carter scolded.

“You don’t know he did it. He’s been leaving me alone, and I even heard through the grapevine that he’s dating someone new, that he’s moved on,” I insisted.

“Oh, I know, and you know too. You’re just protecting him for some reason,” he said, his eyes glaring into mine.

“I’m not protecting him. I don’t want things riled up again; they’ve been smooth the last week or so. If you go accusing him of this, and he didn’t do it, what will that do?” I asked, my own voice starting to rise with anger and frustration.

“If he starts anything, he’ll end up in jail, where he belongs,” Carter said, walking around his truck, his eyes filling with pain and anger as he assessed the damage.

“We have a lot of the same clients. I just don’t want anything started between you two. We’ll eventually have to work together at some point,” I explained.

“Work together? You plan on working with him after what he did to you?” he asked, and then let out a strange laugh.

“I don’t plan to do anything, but we are in the same industry, so it’s possible,” I said.

“You’re still in love with him, aren’t you? You’re as crazy as my mother,” Carter hissed, pulling open his driver’s side door.

“Where are you going?” I pleaded as he started the truck, and put it into gear.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about where I’m going,” he snapped, backing out of my drive, and then peeled his tires down my street so hard it left a puff of black smoke in the middle of the road.