Avery
Soft kisses along my neck and shoulder pull me from the most peaceful sleep I’ve had in years. I didn’t sleep lightly for Maddi. I didn’t toss and turn with her on my mind. Instead, I slept soundly and stress free and it was great.
I smile lazily as Max’s lips creep closer to mine and then circle back to my ear.
I hum a soft moan. “This is a great way to wake up.”
He smiles against my skin. “I said the same thing when I woke up beside you.”
My heart skips a beat before fluttering into my soul. I stretch, rolling toward him. His hair is an unkempt mess, and his eyes are soft with adoration and reverence.
“Surely the last woman you woke up beside had you feeling just as great. If not, you need better flings.”
Anger makes a presence in his gaze. Gray storm clouds dull the tenderness in his browns. “I can’t remember the last time I had a woman in my bed.”
I grab the comforter and pull it up to my neck as I scoot to sit up. “Do what?”
He drops his head on his palm and shrugs. “I’ve never slept well with someone in my bed.”
My brows furrow so deeply I’m certain the vein on my forehead has made a grand entrance. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve…” Left? Would I have? Could I?
“I like you being here.” He tugs me back down and pulls me into his chest.
I swallow, filling with courage. He’s about to get an earful and I’m sure I’m about to hit the door. “Max. There are things about me you don’t know. I come with…things.”
“As do I. I’m not asking you to move in, Avery. I’m saying I want to see where this goes. I really enjoy spending my time with you. And for the first time in a very long time, I’m exhilarated about it.”
“It’s complicated. I’m complicated. I come with things I’m certain you will feel are baggage.”
He grins. “I’ll help you carry them.”
“It may not be that simple. I’m a…” The words are stuck in my throat. The courage I felt moments ago has disintegrated.
He kisses me softly. “Whatever pain you’ve endured, I want to erase. I want the chance to obliterate it and replace it with happiness. Whatever broke you, I’m willing to fix. I’m just asking for the chance.”
A whisper of a smile erases the fear and tugs my lips up. “I think that was the sweetest thing ever said to me.”
“I mean it,” he says.
“My life is so complicated. I’ve been burned in some of the worst ways. I’m horrible at opening up and letting people into my life.”
I watch his throat work as he swallows hard. Distance grows in his eyes and his smile wilts. “When I was eleven, Jade fell into a frozen pond. It took what felt like an eternity to get to her and when I finally got her out, she was…” he pauses, closing his eyes briefly. “Time stood still as I gave her CPR. I prayed for someone above us to let her live. I promised I would protect her for the rest of my life if she would just be okay.”
Immediately his tattoo makes so much sense.
“She means the world to me and to this day, I’ve kept my vow. No one has ever walked through the door for me to question my oath…until you. I find myself thinking and wanting so much more with you. To put as much effort into you as I have with Jade. I hide my emotions, but I’m really tired of pretending with you. I know I promised to follow your lead, but damn. You’re so off and on. I get it. Opening up leaves you vulnerable. Having someone close to you gives them the power to break you, and for years I’ve lived guarded to protect myself. But there’s something about you that’s waking up my soul. And I need to know if I should continue protecting myself or stick around.”
I have a daughter… The words are right freaking there, stuck on my tongue, unable to find their way out of my mouth. Tears wet my eyes from his words, the emotions he just poured out, and the trust just handed over to me. I’m scared out of my wits. This is either going to make or break us and I’m certain it’s the latter.
I take a deep breath with the fear of knowing this could be the last time I’ll ever see him. “I have a da—"
My words are cut off by his phone ringing and it sets off his frustration. Me? I exhale relief.
“It can wait,” he says.
Except, I believe in the universe speaking through coincidences and I’m taking this as the wrong timing to tell him. Plus, I’m genuinely petrified.
“What if you find out things about me you hate? Or things you don’t want to deal with?”
Wrinkles form at the edges of his eyes. “Every time you skirt around the conversation, I create scenarios in my mind that make no fucking sense.”
His phone rings again and he drops his head to the pillow with an aggravated groan.
I puff a giggle and kiss his cheek. “I’m going to steal your shower while you take that.”
Hot water pours over my body and down my face, trickling past my stomach in a gravitational rush to my feet. This is the most elegant shower I’ve ever had the opportunity to experience, and believe me, I’ve seen some luxurious places. I’m standing under seven recessed shower heads with controls to make them spray differently if I choose. There’s a huge head above me acting as a gentle waterfall raining down on me. I’m standing in heaven.
God, I’m such a mom. Excited over a freaking shower.
I can feel his eyes on me, my skin warming every place his gaze touches. I don’t move, allowing him to fill up on it. I’m not self-conscience. I’m happy with the way my body looks all the way down to some of the gnarly scars my career has given me.
Keeping my eyes closed while the water pours over me, the touch of his fingers cause goosebumps to scatter across my skin. His hand snakes around my shoulders, soft and easy, loving almost. I moan, tilting my head as they creep up my neck. He steps in behind me, pressing his naked body against me, and nibbles on my neck as he drags his hand over the wet skin of my stomach. He cups my breast, kneading tenderly as he flexes his hips. His dick presses against the skin above my ass and into my back—the down side of being a foot shorter than the man you’re sleeping with.
“You’re so damn beautiful,” he murmurs, dragging his hands over my body.
After the tense conversation this morning, I desperately need a distraction. I stretch to my tiptoes and grind my ass against his erection. “Show me.”
He presses a kiss to my collar bone and it pulls a sigh from me. I moan, leaning back into his chest as he snakes his hands between my legs and caresses my clit. With his other hand, he holds my hips, squeezing and rocking me against his dick, to create a barrage of arousing friction.
I twist toward him, needing to feel more. Water droplets cover his tan skin, some converging together and creating a stream to meander down his body between the valleys and dips in his abs and then disappearing, scattering down his legs. I trace the hard lines of his pecs, skimming a line to his biceps. His body is incredibly sexy.
Glancing up, I’m at a loss for words. The water has matted his eyelashes, darkening them and brightening his deep brown eyes. Vehemently, they watch me, squinted as he thinks.
I stretch to kiss him, grazing my tongue along his jawline and drinking the water from his neck down to his chest. He moans quietly and it causes a vibration under my palms.
Tenderly, he claims my mouth, resting a hand on my hip. The intimacy in the steam swathes us. His touch is tender. His gaze is passionate.
I grasp his dick and stroke him as he reaches back between my folds to circle my clit. I drop my head to the tile, sighing as he dips a finger into me and pumps it slowly. My grip tightens around his shaft and I pick up the pace, twisting my wrist and stroking him faster.
“I need you in me,” I murmur, rocking into his hand.
He reaches up and grabs a condom from the top of the glass door, rips it open with his teeth, and rolls it on. Lifting my leg to his side, he bends and pushes in.
“Fucking hell, you feel so good.” His moan rolls out in a devastating sigh.
He thrusts, shoving me onto my tiptoes, and wraps his other arm around my waist to help balance me. Drive after drive, my body pleads for release.
“So fucking beautiful,” he gasps.
He mixes his thrusts, varying between short and teasing to deep and enticing, and my body loves it. I lean back, placing my shoulders on the cold gray tiles as the arch in my back grows, and tilt my hips.
Scalding pleasure begins zipping through me as his drives become more demanding, propelling me up the wall and my toes off the floor. His fingers dig into the skin of my hip, holding me steady as he continues to power into me.
A torrid shudder convulses me as I tumble into my orgasm. “Oh my god,” I shamelessly mewl. “Please… Fuck…”
He picks up the pace, his dick pounding into me as I lose my mind to this orgasm.
“Dammit,” he hisses as he’s thrown into his release and plunges to the hilt. His words string together as his body trembles and bucks.
He drops my leg, bracing his palm against the wall, and rests his forehead to mine. “You’re fucking killing me,” he rasps. “Your body does some evil shit to me when you come.”
I offer a sated smile with my eyes still closed, trying to find the ground from my own euphoria. Sex with him is beyond brilliant.
He disappears out of the shower and returns without the condom on. Stepping in, he pulls my back to his chest and wraps his arms around me, resting his chin beside my head. The embrace is sweet, heavy with a growing intimacy, as the water continues to rain down on us.
He breaks the silence and grabs his body wash, squirts some in his hands, and begins washing me.
“I’m in love with your shower,” I tell him.
A soft chuckle echoes off the tiles. “I’m glad. I’ll use it to my full advantage to keep you coming around.”
“You have many things that keep me coming around.”
He places his mouth beside my ear and whispers low, “I like that.”
The way he says it feels like there’s more to it and it causes everything in my brain to scramble. Quickly, I change the sensitive subject and fumble for his shampoo. “I’m going to smell like you all day.” I hold it up.
He grins. “I love being a constant reminder in your day. You screw me over, so it’s only fair.”
I laugh and then lather his hair as he returns the favor.
After drying off and dressing, I’m brushing my hair when he steps back behind me and kisses my cheek. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m all ears. Whatever it is, we’ll work through it, but I can guarantee your future with me will be great. Don’t let your past hold you back. Looking behind you only keeps you from moving forward. And I’m standing in front of you being patient.”
I turn to face him to give more sincerity to my words. “I see you.”
He searches my eyes. “Does it have anything to do with your parents?”
I exhale, growing aggravated. “Why are you so interested in my life?” I snap.
Surprised, his eyes narrow. “Because I want to be in it.”
“My past isn’t pretty, Max. When I’m ready to talk, I will. Please. Just leave it alone.” My tone thickens with disdain.
“Neither is mine, but I’m not holding it against you. I’m not allowing mine to stop me from falling in love with you.”
Shocked by his words, my breath gets sucked into my throat.
“Did you ever go through grief counseling as a child?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I focused on other things that helped me. Ryan and Miranda helped too. I went through a rebellious stage, but it was short lived with the consequences I live with.”
“Jade suffered from PTSD and finding her any help at such a young age proved to be difficult. My parents put us both in therapy. I found out I was more traumatized than what I thought.” He tucks a finger under my chin and raises my face to his. “Even if you feel okay, sometimes it’s good to talk. If it haunts you and stops you from living life, there’s nothing wrong with seeking professional help. If you’re worried I’d look at you any differently, don’t be. Mental health is important, Avery.”
“I’m fine, Max,” I grit.
I can’t stand to be pushed into a corner and interrogated like I’m incompetent to know what I need or how to handle it. My parents aren’t a subject I take lightly. There’s a wound in my heart that’s gaping. When I’m ready to talk, it’ll all come babbling out.
“If you’d like, I can give you information on resources for—”
“I said I’m fine, Max.” I stare my anger into him.
“I didn’t mean to…” he trails off.
“I know. Just…” I sigh. “I’m not ready to talk about everything. Leave it alone. I’ll talk when I’m ready.” I glance away. “I need to get going.”
He closes his eyes. “I care a lot about you, Avery,” he says softly and leaves me in the bedroom alone to feel a mound of guilt.