Avery
I’m going to be sick. I’m going to barf all over the damn floor and make a scene. My stomach is in knots and I’m sweating as I step into Lauder’s Winery.
I could strangle Raven for not talking me out of this. She encouraged the idea instead of stopping me and giving me all the reasons I shouldn’t do this. She’s not a good friend. Not at all.
It’s taken two weeks since receiving the letter for me to gather the courage to face Max. But it’s something I have to do—thank him for the land and apologize for the pain.
I still don’t know why.
What the hell am I doing?
“Ms. Taylor,” Isabella’s face splatters with surprise.
“Is Max here?” I barely get the words out.
“He is, but I believe he’s with Jade and Zach outside. Would you like for me to—”
“No.” I rush out. “If you don’t mind, I’ll wait for him in his office. There’s no need to let him know I’m here. I may lose my nerve and leave before I speak to him. It’s best if you don’t.”
She nods like she understands, but knowing how private Max is, I’m certain she doesn’t. I’m positive she doesn’t understand the battle I’m fighting within me. I’m shaking as I walk down the hall, pep talking myself to keep forging forward. Anxiety is crawling over my skin with fear that he’s going to round the corner and I’ll be forced to face him without being completely ready. Even though I’m sure I’ll never be one hundred percent regardless if I’m here.
Nothing looks different as I take in his office. The scent of his cologne brings me back to the memories of him being close, me in his arms. I swallow the tightness in my throat.
Three new beautiful paintings hang on the wall beside his door. The sky is bright with oranges and yellows, casting down on rows of grapevines. The mountains are silver and brown off into the far distance, and a house sits in the center. On either side of the landscape are incredible pictures of two bottles of wine and a glass. The strokes are chaotic, different colors creating each item. I suppress a laugh at his passion.
Deep voices echoing from the hall causes my pulse to hit my ears. Panic burst through my veins and my body vibrates.
“Don’t be a douche, dude.” Zach laughs. “Trust my designs. I’m the best of the best. Besides, I’ve never done you…”
My eyes lock with Max’s and he stops dead in his tracks, causing Zach to careen into his back. It’s a train wreck.
Zach glances to me. “I’ll come back later,” and he backs out of the door.
Max still has the ability to steal my breath. Even though his eyes look tired, he looks good.
“Hey,” I wring my fingers. “If this is a bad time, I can leave.”
“No.” He doesn’t unlock his gaze from me. “What can I do for you?”
I hate how he can rely on his business etiquette and I’m over here a mess on the inside. I want him to be a nervous wreck like me. Less composed, more anguished. I’m not sure how that would help…
“I wanted to talk.”
“The floor is yours.” He pushes the door shut, continuing to pierce me with his eyes.
This wasn’t a good idea. Dammit, Raven. “I wanted to thank you in person,” my voice strains to be steady. “But…why would you do that for us after things fell apart?”
“Because I can.” His reply is short.
I glance to my feet. “I’m sorry. For everything. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. You didn’t deserve to be lied to and I didn’t realize how wrong I was until it was too late and I was in over my head.” Tears warm my eyes and when I blink up to him, they spill. “Maddi told me to tell you thank you. She carries the snowman everywhere.”
The left side of his lips pull up. “I hoped she’d like it.”
I blow a small laugh. “A whole lot more than like. She’s obsessed with it.”
He hums a chuckle.
“I didn’t deserve the kindness. Not after everything. But I’m truly thankful for it.”
He doesn’t say anything, standing like a strong statue, completely opposite of how I’m feeling.
“Anyway, I’ll get out of your way. I felt I should apologize and thank you in person. You deserve that.”
He doesn’t move as I start toward the door. “When do you plan on moving in?”
“I have to renovate it first. The last owner destroyed it.”
“I’m sure Zach knows someone who could help.”
I flash a sad smile. “It’s a small project and I plan on doing a lot of it myself. I just…I don’t know where to start.”
“I miss you,” he says and it breaks my heart.
I can’t hold the sob. “I need to go.”
Stepping in front of me, he stops me from leaving but keeps his hands in his pockets. “I went there, to the house,” he clarifies. “I wish I could change the fact the last owner didn’t care for it, but I can’t. But I know it belongs to you and your family.”
“You didn’t have to, Max,” I choke on my sob.
“I know. Even though you feel I’m heartless, I’m not. The thing about having money is you attract everyone who wants to play in it. But on the flip side, you have it and you can spend it on what you choose. I’m choosing to give up five acres to give it back to the rightful owner.”
I wipe streams from my cheek. “Thank you.”
“Was it all fake and in my head, or did you truly care?”
“It was real,” I whisper.
“Then why wasn’t I good enough for you? Why was it so hard to trust me?” The pain in his voice is heartbreaking.
What do I have to lose now? “Maddi’s father was abusive. He took pride in keeping me fearful of him and enjoyed reminding me I was his.” Max’s nostrils flare. “I’ll be honest. He’s caused destruction for my future. My life was ripped out from under me when I lost my parents. Then I met this guy who swore he’d love me but ended up ruining me. When I told him I was pregnant, he beat the shit out of me and left. I ran.” The corners of my mouth sag as I give him a sad smile. “He ended up hiring someone to kill me, just like he promised all those times. Thankfully I lived. And although I was hurt and out of the game for a little while, my daughter was safe too.”
Max’s jaw is clenched so tightly I can hear his teeth gritting.
“I’m not saying you’d ever do that me. I’m trying to help you understand why I am so guarded and protective. I was pregnant when he tried killing me. I could’ve lost my baby.” I clear my throat trying to fight off the tears. “Maddi’s my joy. She’s my miracle. My baby. And I’ll do anything to make sure we are safe and she’s happy.”
“I’d never hurt you. I’d never raise my hands to you.”
“I know. But that past is hard to erase and the love I have for my daughter is hard to replace. You’re a bachelor, Max. A very successful man. No way you’d ever want to be with a single mother.”
He zeros in. “You never gave me that choice.”
I narrow my eyes and challenge him, knowing he wouldn’t have given me the time of day. “And if I had?”
“I wouldn’t have changed a thing. I would’ve taken your pace like I did until you felt the time was right.”
I can’t hold it back any longer. I weep into my hands. He wraps his arms around me, holding me as I cry against his chest.
“You’re just saying that,” I say but it comes out as a mumbled mess.
“Even after everything, I still want you. My life is horrible without you in it. I didn’t know how badly I needed you until you were gone. Avery, I don’t want to be without you.”
It causes me to cry harder.