Avery
“Avery…” Max’s voice is sweet and it tickles my ear.
After the long week I had, busting my ass with Tim, working with Ryan, and helping Maddi with a school project about Hawaii, I needed Max’s arms. I missed the hell out of him and last night went well into the wee hours of the morning and reminded me why I really should spend more time with him. He gave me a full body massage, rubbing my sore body from head to toe before licking every square inch of my skin. If my legs aren’t sore from boarding, they’re definitely deliciously sore from Max.
There’s no doubt he made love to me last night. Everything felt more intimate. His touches were tender, his moves were slow and deliberate, and the way he looked at me felt like he was begging for eternity. I felt vulnerable, yet in the safest place. My emotions roared loudly inside me, but I kept them quiet because I’m afraid to be more scared than I already am.
“Baby,” he croons again, kissing across my cheek.
“Hmmm?” I stretch, rolling to meet his sexy eyes.
He smiles. “I have to go. Jade called. Something has come up with a delivery. I’ll be back in a few hours. You’re more than welcome to stay as long as you want.”
I nod, closing my eyes as sleep caresses my exhaustion. My body tingles—that place where your mind is barely alert on the realms of reality. “Okay…Be careful. Love you.”
The words rip me right out of sleep and slam me with panic. My heart leaps into my throat. My eyes spring open and I jerk sitting up. “Wait. No.”
He’s wearing a lopsided smile. “Too late.”
I’m hot as hell wearing the red from my mortification. I’m scrambling for a back pedal, something to say that will make sense and not make me look like a liar because honestly, I meant it even though I wasn’t ready to say it. It’s been years since I’ve muttered those words…
He leans down and kisses me tenderly. “You just confirmed we’re on the same page.” He brushes his lips against mine again. “I have to go. Stay as long as you want.”
I’m relieved he left it alone, confused as to why, but sure he saw the terror on my face. I watch him walk out of the door, down the hall, and turn out of my view when I throw myself backward on the bed, silently screaming. Holy fuck. Shit. Shit. Shit. I’m not afraid of much, but being in love is definitely in the top two fears.
Freaked out, I don’t sit around to face him. I get dressed and leave. I don’t even stick around to enjoy his shower, but I do make his bed. That’s all the extra I could do shaking in my skin. I was ready to flee the scene of the love crime.
Sitting on the top step of our back deck, I watch Maddi swing. I still feel a bit numb with a racing mind, and my guilt has come to the forefront. I need to tell Max about Maddi.
Max: Just so you know, my head isn’t fitting through any doors today.
I giggle and glance up to see Maddi watching me.
Me: You have me blushing in my backyard.
Max: You have me on top of the world.
“It’s that guy again, right? You’re smiling like it’s him. I know you still like him. When can I meet him?” Maddi says, her hands on her hips standing right in front of me.
I peer at my beautiful daughter. “Soon, baby. Right after the competition, I’m inviting him over to meet you.”
She squeals and claps her hand. “He’ll be happy for you winning. You have to make your sketty. It’s my favorite, which means he’ll really like it and I want him to like it.”
I fold her in my arms and hug her. “Don’t get your hopes up really high, baby. Everything is still new. Okay?”
She rolls her eyes and it’s like her thoughts switched. “Are we seeing Tim today?”
“Yeah.” I check the time on my phone. “Actually, we need to get ready. Are you sure you don’t want to stay with Uncle Roo so you can keep playing?”
Her head shakes. “No. I want to watch you. Can I bring my board and try the things you do?”
“Yeah. How about we play around after I’m done?”
Anger is in her eyes. “But I want to learn the things you do.”
I clutch her hand. “Maddi. I’ve been doing this for years.” My tone is stern. “Years, baby. You can’t do everything I can. It takes a lot of practice and time to learn it. You have to focus on the basic stuff, the learning things. Then when you get that down pat, I can teach you other tricks. But I really need you to focus on just the beginning stuff.”
“But I really—”
Her voice shakes as I interrupt her. “Maddi, you must learn the easier stuff so you don’t get hurt with the harder things. You have to practice.”
She blinks.
“If I practice really hard and ride the big hill, will you teach me how you flip?”
I smile. “Yes. But only after you master the beginner stuff.”
Her head bobs up and down. “Deal. I promise, Momma.”
I’m sweating. My legs are burning. And I am despising Tim. After the warmup, he’s had me bouncing on the trampoline, running through a series of flips, rolls, and switches. I love shredding the mountain, but a trampoline kicks my ass. There’s no cold breeze and breathers between tricks. Tim has me popping out tricks one after another. It works my endurance and stamina, but just like Maddi does, the exhaustion reminds me that I’m getting old.
“Have you seen the run?” he asks, sitting on the edge of the trampoline.
Tim has been with me for years and I swear hasn’t aged a day. He still looks like he’s in his twenties even though he’s closer to forty. His black hair is cut short, his skin smooth without wrinkles showing the stress he endures, and he’s in damn good shape.
I stop, plopping down to my ass, my weight bouncing me on the trampoline as I catch my breath. “No.”
“I’ve heard Emma’s been a park rat strengthening her jibbing.”
I puff a breath, flicking my wrist. “Dad started me off on rails. I’m not worried about those tricks.”
Resting back on his palms, he nods. “I don’t know why I keep coming around. You know everything. You’re still the know-it-all kid.”
I grin. “But I’ve polished up.”
“Maddi’s over there chomping at the bit for you to teach her flips. You going to?”
“I’ve got to ingrain the basics in her head first. She rides stiff, chatters through her turns, and doesn’t listen to a thing I say.”
Tim’s deep dimples appear and he bellows a laugh. “So you’re saying she’s you when you first started?”
“I listened,” I protest.
“Yeah. When Frank made sure I tortured you in lessons.”
I giggle. “Dad knew how to make me listen. I was sore for days. You kicked my ass.”
“You listened,” he grins. “Maybe Maddi’s the same way.”
“She thinks she can do everything I can and doesn’t try to learn the basics.”
“She’s anxious to be as good as her mother. Get down to the meaty parts. Remember our first few days. You knew how to ride, but you weren’t good enough. Not in my eyes. If you had run then, you’d yard sale it and drag your ass all over. Go back to the basics with her, Avery. She’s you all over again.”
I glance to Maddi sitting in the loft, studying us.
“You know what you’re doing. The basics are second nature to you, not to Maddi. But keep in mind, what might have worked with you, might not work with her. Want me to give her a few lessons?”
I shake my head, looking down at my hands. “No. I’ll show her. I forget where I started sometimes.”
“I want you to run big air on the freestyle and even bigger air on the half. Pull out different tricks for each run. But most importantly, I want you to suck up your fear and stomp a five-forty reverse.”
My eyes go big. “I haven’t attempted that since Aaron tried killing me.”
I hate his knowing smile. “Precisely. It’s sick as hell. Work through the mental block. If you can do it on the tramp, you can do it in the powder. You haven’t been fond of hard technical tricks since your big spill in Utah. You’re lucky your style is unique.”
“I can’t just—”
“Not with that attitude.” He stands. “You know how to achieve it. The falls suck, but the lands are euphoria. You know it. You’ve experienced it. You’re letting someone else and a shitty situation run your fears. I’ve got more faith in you than you do. I don’t get it. You’ve run some pretty sick comps in the past few years. What’s so different about this one?”
I lift a shoulder, unsure what to say. I don’t know why I’m scared of this one. Maybe subconsciously I’m worried about Max being there? I don’t know.
He nudges my shoulder. “I haven’t seen this nervous little girl in a long time. Tuck her back into your pocket and quit thinking. Just let your body guide you.”
“When I get to the line, I will,” I reply.
He shakes his head. “Before the line. Before the comp.” He squats beside me. “Losing the land was a big hit to the heart. I know. It wasn’t mine and I still felt it in my soul.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and pick at my fingernails. “I did everything I could to get it back. Just to have that piece of Dad. All the years and memories I have of us out back.”
“You don’t need the training area to be close to your dad. He’s with you. In your heart. He’s the fire still burning inside of you. If Frank were here, you know what he’d say? He’d tell you to suck it up, get up and keep moving like you have been all these years. The snow on that land melted every year. But your motivation and determination…” He taps his chest. “That doesn’t end. That’s the gift from your dad you should cherish. Teaching you the beginner tricks for you to conquer the advanced ones. I know the land was important, but that’s a chapter in your book you need to turn the page from. Another chapter lies in front of you. One your dad would be proud you wrote.”
My fingers blur as tears stream down my cheek, but I don’t lift my head.
Tim kisses the side of my head. “Be brave, Avery. I’ll meet you at the top on Saturday.”