My feet hit the pavement running. Even when my ribs and my legs scream, I still run. Why the fuck wouldn’t I? I don’t want to stay here. Here’s the last place I want to be. As far away from this hellhole is where I want to be.

Car lights flash in front of me and stop next to me, but I keep running until her voice screams my name.

Cecilia.

I come to an abrupt halt and turn around to her. She’s waving at me to go back. I kicked my heels off before, and my feet are bare. So the moment I stop, I can feel everything, the sharp rocks that are digging into the soles of my feet. Oh my God, the pain in my ribs is almost too much to bear.

“What do you want?”

She waves me down. “Let me give you a lift.”

“You’ll take me back,” I scream, trying to keep my distance from her.

She shakes her head. “I won’t.”

“You live there,” I ask her.

“Used to, you took my room.”

“You’re not taking me back there?” I ask, hoping she’s as nice as she seems, and not some evil incarnate like Amy.

“No, Saskia. I have a small apartment not far from here. Do you want to crash there?”

My feet hurt, I’m sore all over. But what else are my choices? Quinn put me in the car then walked back in for Ryken, and I bolted once everything hit me. I realized I was now free.

“No one will know I’m there?” I ask. She shakes her head as I step closer to her and her car. She gets in as I open the door, and drives a short distance to a block of apartments not too far from where I ran from. I don’t know this neighborhood at all as I’ve never been here before. I’ve stayed in my city and never left, never had the means to leave nor the desire to. What else was out there for me? I didn’t know, and a part of me was content not knowing what I couldn’t have.

“This is it. It’s not much, but I have a couch.” She points to the small building and gets out as I follow her inside. She’s right, it’s small, but I’m used to small. Especially, where I come from. She disappears then comes back with a blanket for me as she lays it on the couch.

“Do you know them well?”

She looks up to me. “Who?” she asks.

“Well, Amy, Antonio... you know, them.”

She shrugs. “As well as an employee knows their boss, I guess. But I have met your man before, actually.”

“My man?” I ask her confused.

“Ryken.”

Oh... words struggle to leave my lips, but they manage to come out in a shaky breath. “No. We aren’t... I mean, we aren’t...”

She waves at me not to worry. “He actually took me a few years ago.”

My eyes bulge at her words. “Ryken took you?”

She nods, confirming it. “Look, I know you probably think everything’s fucked right now. But just remember, it could be worse. You could still be there, in that place, with her.” I shiver at her words.

“I just want to be me. Without them, you know?”

She offers me a sad smile. “He’s going to look for you.”

“I know, but I’m not sure if I’ll let him find me.”

“You may not get a choice in that matter. He’s resourceful. He’s the king for a reason, Saskia.” She walks off waving goodnight, leaving me on her couch. With nothing but the clothes on my back.

***

SHE NUDGES ME IN THE morning waking me up. I’ve hardly slept. Only fell asleep once the sun actually rose. I don’t have my pills and my head spun for most of the night. I open my eyes to see Cecilia looking down at me. “You need to move, they’re here.” I move fast, my ribs crying out when I do. She passes me a pair of shoes, and I slide them on, then go to the window at the back. She’s at her door as a knock comes, and I slide my feet out first then go to touch the ground, but hands wrap around me lifting me up. I go to scream, to hit the person, but Ryken’s dark eyes land on mine, and I can see the storm behind them. Even with all the anger, the hate, he has in them, I can see myself in there as well and instantly relax at his touch.

His touch makes me feel like I’ve overdosed.

It fucks with me more than it should, and it instantly calms my erratic heart.

“You ran, Barbie, you ran from me when you shouldn’t have.” His words make me horny, as I slide down the front of him. Every inch I feel of him.

“Go back to Livia, your pregnant fiancée,” I sneer at him.

He pushes me against the wall, my hands still on the edge of the window. “I came for you, Barbie.” Trying to look away from his eyes is hard, even broken he’s still perfect.

“I didn’t need you to.” I push against him, and his face contorts in pain. Then I realize he was just beaten, and here I am hurting him even more. “You killed a man,” I say in a smaller voice. I’ll have nightmares forever over that. “His life wasn’t worth mine.”

He shakes his head staying on me. “It was, and it will always be.”

“Boss.”

Ryken looks past me into the room. He pulls my head forward, and I lay it on his neck. He smells of everything I miss. Everything I want but shouldn’t have. I don’t even hear him speak as I lay there listening to him breathe, and talk, while he has hold of me. I could almost fall asleep on the spot I’m in now. I feel sedated. Calm. Happy.

“Saskia.” I pull my head up to see Cecilia looking at me through the window. “Do you want to go with them?”

Quinn is standing close to her. In Ryken’s arms, I’m his, so I simply nod my head. He pulls me along making sure we stay connected even when we slide into the back of his car.

He puts me on his lap, and I lay on him like he’s everything. That his presence alone can soothe everything in me. That’s the problem with Ryken Lord, he makes me forget who I am, and all my morals go right out the door when he’s near. He has that much power over me that I can finally breathe when he isn’t near, I realize what he does to me. And that’s when I try to escape.

His hand runs down my hair, and he brushes it with his fingers repeatedly. He doesn’t ask me to move, even when Quinn turns the corner and I feel his breathing becoming deeper as I apply pressure to his chest. He just stays where he is, and I stay where I am unable to move off him. Because then if I did, I would know this isn’t the place where I should be. It should be anywhere but here.

We drive for what seems like hours when in reality it’s probably only one. I stay where I am not uttering a word, just lying on his neck trying to think of anything but him. That’s next to impossible for me to do. So for once I just enjoy it. It’s the small things in life we’re meant to enjoy, but we fail at so many of them.

“Boss.” Quinn’s voice is loud as the car comes to a stop. Ryken’s hand touches my leg, and I remember then that I was bleeding. Looking down, not moving much from where I am, I see the dried congealed blood from where Amy cut me. His hands are touching around it to check, but there’s nothing he can do. Hands pull me from him, and Quinn picks me up like I’m a doll from the car, and from Ryken. He carries me as if I’m a child into a house that I don’t recognize. Ryken follows behind, opening the bedroom door. A fog clears from my head when he isn’t touching me, like I can finally breathe and I look over at him. He’s bruised badly and hurt. Yet, here he is more worried about me than himself. Then I remember the way he cut that man’s throat, sliced it open as if he was a nothing, and then left him to bleed out on the ground.

A shiver breaks over my skin as Quinn puts me on the bed. I still haven’t changed clothes, and all I want to do is get out of this stupid dress. It reminds me of that place. Smells like that place, and that’s a place I don’t want to think about. Quinn walks out shutting the door behind him, and I stand, pulling the first dresser drawer open. Nothing’s in it. Looking around the room, I walk to the closet. Just before I pull it open, the door to the room opens, and Ryken stands there watching me.

“Planning on escaping again?”

I bite my lip, it didn’t even cross my mind. I just need to shower and change. I need the smell of them gone. “I need clothes and a shower. Please.”

He pulls his shirt off carefully. His ribs are purple, and they appear damn sore. I try to stop myself from cringing. He undoes his trousers, pulling them off, so he’s naked in front of me.

“What are you doing?”

He walks to where I’m standing, opens the closet door, and pulls out one of his shirts. He passes it to me then looks to the shower then back to me. “You want to shower. I need to shower.”

I want to tell him no, we need to stop crossing these boundaries. Why can’t we seem to stop it? It’s like he doesn’t realize that we’re doing it. How can I see it and he can’t? The word no has trouble leaving my lips when he’s around, though and I think he knows that.

“Not together,” is all I say, pulling the shirt to my chest.

He shakes his head while opening the door to the shower. “I’ve seen you naked. I’ve had your ass up in the air. All it is...” he waves his hands around in the air, “... is a shower, Barbie. I’m way too tired and sore for anything else.”

I believe his words, so I follow him in. Like a lovesick fool that should know better. But he has no idea. He turns on the shower. The cubicle is huge. More than two people could comfortably fit. Dropping the dress to the ground, I step out of it, and into the shower with him. His back is to me, and what an incredible fucking back it is. Muscles contour with each movement.

He looks at me and shifts out of the way. I step into the water with him, and it falls all over my face and down my hair. The feeling is out of this world. The water warm and inviting, the little droplets belting my skin and removing every piece of scum from that place.

Ryken reaches for the soap and starts washing me. He’s careful like I’m breakable. And he’s true to his word, not once does he try anything. He may linger in places he shouldn’t, but that’s as far as it goes.

After I wash all the soap off me, I feel him behind me. His lips kiss my neck, and he whispers, “Now you smell like me.” It’s hard to move when someone you want, but you know you can’t have, is touching you and whispering in your ear. It takes everything in me to not overdose on his touch. Because that’s all that seems to happen. He touches me, I melt, and I’m his.

Stepping out, he follows me back to the room. I pull the shirt on and curl myself into a ball. He isn’t next to me when I pass out, and for that, I’m thankful because having him there would lead to other things. Things I’m not ready for and know it would be hard to say no to.

That’s the problem with Ryken Lord... he likes to make you overdose on him.