It’s late, and he isn’t here. I waited for him to come because I didn’t want him sneaking in again. Eventually, I go back up to my room, and just as I close my apartment door that’s when I hear it, the shop door opening.

“Ryken,” I say softly.

He doesn’t answer as I walk back down the stairs. And as I get to the bottom, hands are on me and pushing me back into the wall. I go to scream until his voice instantly calms me.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you today.”

I melt into him. My body instantly relaxing. His hands become savage and search my body, pulling my shirt up, his fingers skimming my skin to try to grab on everywhere. I climb him and wrap my legs around his waist. He holds me, pulling my shirt from my head and carrying me up the stairs backward.

At the top, I reach back and push the door open as he manages to remove my bra, dropping it to the floor. His mouth is instantly on my breast as he lays me back on my bed. It’s heated. We pull at each other as he yanks at my shorts, and I tug at his shirt and then his belt. It isn’t long until we’re both naked, and his body comes on mine. Everything we do, touch, see, hear, is each other. We consume each other and pull and pull until nothing’s left.

It’s a love like no other. I didn’t know even know a love like this existed until him. That’s what scares me the most. He could really fuck me up so bad that I could end up like her. Like Livia. He’s almost destroyed me before, I don’t think I could take it again.

“Ryken...”

He lifts me up under my arms, and I slide down on him. His hands move to my ass, and as we both start moving his finger slips into my ass. He pumps it there while his cock thrusts into my pussy.

Have you ever experienced a pleasure where you don’t know where it’s coming from, but the build-up is so intense that you know it’s going to leaving you completely wrecked? That’s me right now.

He bumps me into the wall, my back slams into it hard and I don’t fucking care. I try to climb him more, bringing him even closer, and pressing down on him slower so I can feel each inch as we slide into each other.

“Barbie...” he growls, and lifts his hands away from my ass and slams me into him. We push off the wall, and now stand in the middle of my small apartment as my head drops back, and I can barely hold on any longer. My legs are shaky, my hands want to let go as I feel it coming.

He feels it and lays me back on my small dining room table. My ass is on the edge as he reaches for my tits, grabbing hold, and continuing to fuck me. My hands cover his, and I squeeze his hands over my breasts, my head falling back as it takes hold and my whole body shakes.

My entire heart is his right now. It’s the perfect moment for him to reach in and take it from my chest like it was his to begin with. His hands are right there, so he could. But he doesn’t. Instead, he leans forward and kisses me there. Right between my breasts straight over my heart.

It takes me a moment to come down, to feel his breath still there as we both try to control our breathing. When I do finally look up to him, he’s watching me. His hands skim my sides, then pick me up as he carries me to the shower while he’s still in me. He doesn’t do anything but kiss me, everywhere but my lips, as he puts me down and then spins me around, turning the water on. My shower is small, it wasn’t built for two people to fit in the small cubicle. Yet, somehow, we both manage with him against my back, and his hands rubbing me now with soap. We’ve hardly said more than a few words to each other tonight, and somehow, I feel closer to him, more so than I ever have.

“Ryken...”

“Mm-hmm,” he answers into my ear as he continues to lather me up. I can feel his cock on my back. He’s hard again. I turn around to face him, and he looks down between us, smirks then looks back to me.

“Those mocha eyes will be the death of me.”

I blink a few times at his words, shocked, then smile. No one has ever paid attention to what the color of my eyes are before. He pays all kinds of attention to me. It’s who he is.

“Ryken...” I say again.

This time he leans forward, kissing my lips softly, then pulling back to wash himself once he finishes with me. “What is this?”

He stops then looks to me. “You know what this is, it’s us. The way it’s meant to be.”

I bite my lip. “There isn’t an us. I mean there’s a fucking us, but not an us,” I try to emphasize the words and he stops to look at me. I see it then, those demons that I first saw in his eyes. He’s hidden them from me for quite some time. But it was only a matter of time before they surfaced again and came back out to play.

“There is a fucking us. Fuck! Don’t go thinking there isn’t. There’s no me without you.”

I want to believe his words, I really do. Quickly, I step out of the shower before he can stop me. I can still feel soap suds on me, but I don’t care. “You had an us already... Livia and you.”

He growls at my words. His face is hard, and he steps out after me completely covered in soap. It’s a beautiful and scary sight all wrapped into one. “She wasn’t an us, she was an I. I loved her, Barbie, there’s no denying that. She was there for so much of my shit.” He grabs my face. “But she wasn’t fucking you. You have fucked with my head and heart from that very first time I met you. You... who’s so beautiful... you have no idea how much you mean to me.”

I look away from his words. Because declarations of love are something I’m not used to. It was never in my cards. My mother never told me, so why should I believe someone who chose someone else. He picked her when no one wanted to choose me. Not the people who I wanted to, anyway

“I want to take it slow.” He shakes his head. “This is too much. You’re too much. I can’t deal with this. Don’t make me deal with this.”

He steps back, reaching for the towel, and wiping off the soap suds and then touching my face. “Slow is half doable. Just don’t expect me to not want you every time I see you. Because now, baby, no one is in our way.” He steps around me, walking back out to my small room to collect his clothes. I follow him naked. Leaning against the door as I watch him.

“You’re leaving?” I ask, surprised.

He kisses my lips quickly. “I only came to see you because today’s been shitty, and to tell you I couldn’t stay.” He laughs because we all know why that will never work for him. “That led to me being late now.” He looks up to me once his trousers are on, his eyes roaming the length of me. “You’re making it next to impossible to leave, though, Barbie. I want to ravage that body again.” I smile, loving the way his eyes rake over me. It’s a whole new look. Something else entirely. And I like it. A lot.

“Goodbye, Ryken,” I say, smirking.

He steps forward, and I hold up my hand to him. He shakes his head and then slaps my ass as he walks past. “Save that for me for later, baby.”

My laugh comes out loud as he walks down the stairs, and I stay up the top watching him leave.

He stops, looking around. “Don’t let anyone in. Lock your door unless I call.”

I go to tell him I don’t have a phone to call him on. But this time as he looks at my tits, he speaks, “It’s on your bed. Use it, it’s yours.” He licks his lips, the smile not leaving as he walks out the door. Turing back to go inside, I see it there. A brand-new iPhone lying on my bed.

Walking over to it, I pick it up and laugh when I see the photo on the screen. It’s a picture of him smirking. I cling to it and lay on my bed.

I think despite telling myself not to, I’ve fallen even deeper for Ryken Lord. Now he has my heart I’m afraid of what he’ll do with it.

***

THE CELL BEEPS, AND that’s what wakes me the next morning. It’s still in my hand, I must have fallen asleep with it clasped there last night. His text messages are coming through, and I smile when I read the first one.

I smile at his message and lay the phone down next to me. I still don’t understand us. Us as an actual us is difficult for me to comprehend. Because I’ve never really been an us. With Stiles, we were a couple, yes, but I never honestly felt like there was an us, and I was entirely his. He was comfortable, even pleasant to be around. My head wishes that it was him I fell for. But my heart knows better. My heart knows the truth.

Getting up, I dress and get ready for the day. I have to start taking my life back now that I know Amy isn’t coming for me again. Hearing he killed her was a bit much. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t know he was capable of such things, it’s just a matter of if I can handle knowing that’s what he does. Not to mention his whole business is about collecting girls—girls that have no family or life—for him to take with him to sell to other men. That thought alone freaks me the fuck out.

Walking down the stairs, I stop at the bottom step, because standing at the glass door is my mother. She’s watching me, and she looks good, better than she has in a long time. I’m hesitant to open that door to let her in.

What if she says something I don’t want to hear?

Does something that could set me back?

She offers me a smile as I stay where I am, unable to move.

Snapping out of my daze, I step toward her, unlocking the door and let her come inside, shutting it behind her. She looks around then turns back to face me. It feels weird to have her in the same room as me and sober.

“I didn’t think you would let me in.”

I shrug my shoulders, not really knowing what she wants from me. “You were at the door.”

She looks at it then back to me. “I’m glad to see you up and moving around. Does it have to do with that boy?”

I don’t have to tell her anything, but I do anyway. “No, but I am seeing him.”

“I’ve heard of his family... well, his father and what he used to do. Are you safe with him?”

If only she knew. I was never safe with him to begin with. It’s the main reason he wanted me to stay away. It never worked, and completely changed my life. But I think I’ve come out stronger because of it. And it wasn’t his fault, not really. I chose to follow him. He didn’t have to try to protect me, but he couldn’t anyway.

“We’ll be fine.”

She nods her head. “I was hoping you’d like to get to know me, and I get to know you. It’s funny, you know... I look at the girl you are now, and I wonder how you got there. I know it wasn’t from me ‘cause I was of no help at all. But I would really like to get to know you, if that’s okay with you?”

My hands touch my skirt, brushing it down before I look back up to her to see a nervous expression on her face. She’s afraid I’ll say no.

“That would be great.”

She smiles, and she doesn’t push it as she walks out the door but continues smiling.