The next day at work should have been miserable. I think Miles and I might have slept for half an hour, but even after we did it a second time, we found it hard to sleep. Our bodies were tired, but we kept making jokes, or kicking one another, or bringing up a childhood memory that made us laugh. The entire night was just ours, like we existed outside of time, in our own little world. Granted, the beginning of the evening was a bit shaky, and there were plenty of cracks on his part about my drunken attempt at seduction, but by five AM when we stumbled out to his Jeep, shushing each other because my parents’ house was right next door, exhausted and sore and smiling, I was convinced it had been the best night of my life. Not just because of the sex, but because it was the lightest I’d felt in I couldn’t remember how long. I had no clue what the hell was going on with my life, but for once, I didn’t care.
Miles drove me to my house and dozed on the couch while I took a two-minute shower and changed, then he insisted on coming into the shop with me and helping me open up. I told him it wasn’t necessary, but he said he’d work for buns, so I let him stay.
We were like two goofy kids all morning, snickering whenever we made eye contact, making jokes about glazing buns, and sometimes just dropping everything to kiss—he’d back me up against the giant stainless refrigerator, I’d jump up and straddle him out of nowhere, he’d corner me in the walk-in pantry.
It was silly and sexy and exactly what I needed, so I didn’t dwell on the fact that in the three years since I’d owned this shop, not once had Dan ever come in to help me open up. I don’t even think he’d ever offered—if I’d stayed the night at his place, he drove me to my condo and went right back home, or he’d let me take his car.
But Miles…Miles stayed with me.
So all morning I ignored my phone when I saw that it was Dan calling, and I never opened any of his texts. If he showed up, I’d kick his sorry ass right out.
When Hailey arrived, I could see her looking back and forth between Miles and me, wondering what was going on with us. I’d introduced him as an old friend the other day, but even though she was barely out of her teens, I think she knew better. The air between us crackled with sexual energy.
At around noon, the caffeine buzz started to wear off. “Oh my God,” I said, slumping onto the kitchen counter. “I’m dying. I’m not gonna make it.”
“Yes, you will.” Miles was on dish duty, loading cups and plates and silverware into the washer since I’d asked Hailey to be more visible up front today. My puffy eyes with dark circles underneath were not fit to be seen out there.
“I’m not. I’m gonna die. Need sleep.”
“We’re gonna nap so hard when we’re done here, Nat. I’m serious. Fucking gold medal nap.”
“Nap. Naaaaaaaaap,” I moaned.
“A couple more hours. You can do it.” He came over and took me by the shoulders, straightening me up. “Hey. You’re taking the day off tomorrow. You work too hard.”
I laughed weakly, but I felt like crying. “I can’t do that.”
“Yes, you can. And you will. If I have to pay your staff myself, you are doing it.”
I sighed. “Michael will be back. He can probably handle things for a day.”
“He can. I am sure of it.”
“You don’t even know him.”
“Doesn’t matter. You hired him, so he’s talented and competent. He can run a goddamn diner for a day.”
I made a face. “It’s not easy, you know.”
“I know. Believe me.” He gathered me close, and I rested my head on his shoulder, thinking that if he just stayed still, I could sleep like this, standing up. “There’s a reason I chose writing as a profession. I don’t want to be in charge of people. I’m barely good at being in charge of myself. But you’re amazing at it. You’re so amazing that Michael has picked up on exactly what to do to keep this place going in your absence for a day. Or a week.”
I pulled away from him. “What week?”
“A vacation. You need a week off, I think.” He rubbed his hand over his jaw, then snapped his fingers. “A road trip. That’s it.”
“You’re insane. I can’t leave here for a week!”
“A road trip to…” Miles went on as if I hadn’t spoken. “Detroit!” His face lit up. “We’ll drive down to Detroit, spend a few days there hanging out, and I’ll show you all my favorite places. How about it?”
“A week? No way.” I folded my arms. “Can’t do it.”
“Then three days.” Miles took me by the wrists and shook my arms. “That’s all I ask. Three days of relaxation and fun with me, and then you can come back here, be a grown up and make that frowny face all you like.”
I snatched my arms away. “I don’t make a frowny face!”
He burst out laughing. “You do. It looks like this.” He set his jaw stubbornly, his bottom lip a little pouty, and squinted.
I winced. “Please tell me I do not make that face.”
“You do,” he assured me. “But I would too if I dealt with managing people day in and day out. Or if I just got out of a dead end relationship and needed to have some fun.”
I looked away, a little sadness seeping into my bloodstream for the first time today. I’d successfully avoided thinking too much about Dan, for the most part, unless it was to make unfavorable comparisons to Miles. But that wasn’t really fair. Miles wasn’t here to stay, either.
A week. That was his best offer.
Should I take it?
“I don’t know,” I said. “Let me think about it.”
Miles grabbed my face and planted a big kiss on my lips. “You’re adorable when you’re serious. It makes me want to spank you.”
“Shhhhhhhh!” I shoved his hands down. “Someone might hear you.”
“Good.” He grabbed me again, pulling my head to his chest and yanking on my hair. “Everyone should know the real you, you dirty slut.”
“Oh my God.” I pushed him away, but I had to laugh. “You are a horrible person, and I am too tired to deal with horrible people right now. That’s the whole reason I’m back here today.”
“Fine. I will go out and charm your customers for you.” He adjusted the crotch of his pants. “You’re welcome.”
• • •
Two hours later, Miles drove me back to my house, and I had a hard time staying awake on the ten-minute ride.
“Want to come in and nap with me?” I asked. “Then when we wake up, I can give you a tour.” I did want to show him the house, but honestly I just didn’t want to part with him yet. The moment he left my side I’d have to deal with the fallout of my relationship, including the fact that Dan had cheated on me, and I didn’t think I was ready to face that yet. Miles was the perfect distraction, and I was giving myself permission to be distracted for the time being. Something I’d never done before.
“Hell, yes.” He turned off the car, and pulled the key from the ignition. “You were right. Working that place is exhausting.”
I smiled. “Only on no sleep. Otherwise it can be fun. Come on in.”
Bleary-eyed, we stumbled into my house, managed to get up the stairs, and tumbled across my bed sideways, me on my stomach and Miles on his back, our legs hanging off the side. We didn’t even take off our shoes, didn’t say another word, didn’t move for hours, waking only when my phone rang. I heard it, but it sounded far away, like it was in a dream. Eventually I realized what it was and reached into my purse, which rested near my head. The screen said Skylar.
“Hello?” I croaked.
“Hey, where are you?”
“I’m home.” I wiped drool from my mouth and frowned at the wet spot on my comforter. “Why?”
“Dinner at Mom and Dad’s, remember?”
“Oh crap. No, I didn’t.”
“Well, come over. We’re waiting for you.”
I thought about making an excuse and turning her down. What could I say? My mind was a dead zone, and all I could do was whine. “But I’m tiiiired.”
“Come on, Mom’s grilling Italian sausage.” She laughed. “And you need some sausage.”
“Hahaha.”
Miles opened his eyes, rubbed his face with one hand, and looked over at me. “Did someone say sausage?”
Ten minutes later, we were on our way to my parents’ house.
“Do not say anything to them about anything,” I warned. “Not Dan, not us, not anything.”
“Why? Are you ashamed of me?” Miles feigned offense, putting a hand on his chest. “I’m hurt by this, Natalie. You want to hide our love.”
I rolled my eyes. “Look, I’m sure this is all fun for you, but breaking up with Dan is a big deal for me. I’m not ready to announce it yet.”
He went quiet for a moment. “Is it because you’re not ready to face it yet?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” I glanced over at him. “Is that OK?”
“It’s fine.” He put his hand on my thigh, which was bare since I’d changed from my work shorts into a short white skirt I’d paired with a soft gray t-shirt. “I think the guy was an ass, but you loved him for a lot of years. I’m sure that doesn’t just turn off overnight because you’re mad. No one would ever stay married if that were the case, not that many people stay married, anyway.”
“Right.” Sighing, I rolled down my window and closed my eyes, letting the wind hit my face. I was mad, not as mad as I’d been last night, but still. Dan should have been honest with me from the start about feeling trapped. But then again, wasn’t he right about me needing time apart too? Hadn’t I felt relief when I realized I could run straight to Miles and not feel guilty about it? What did that say about me?
“Stop thinking so hard.” Miles rubbed his hand on my leg.
“I can’t help it. I was totally shocked and hurt when he said he’d cheated and wanted time apart, but look how quickly I jumped into bed with you.” I twisted my hands together in my lap. “Am I a bad person?”
“No. Jesus Christ, Natalie.” He shook his head. “You’re a great person. And you were totally faithful to him for ten fucking years. You jumped into bed with me because A, let’s face it, who wouldn’t? And B, we’ve always wondered what it would be like. At least I have.”
“I have too,” I admitted. And it exceeded all my expectations. I didn’t even know sex that good was possible.
“That doesn’t make us bad people, it makes us two consenting adults who had fun together. You didn’t cheat on anybody, you didn’t hurt anybody, and the world did not explode because you had someone else’s dick in you.”
“Felt like it did.”
One side of his mouth hooked up. “Good.”
We stopped at the wine store because Miles didn’t want to show up empty-handed to dinner, and he lectured me while I perused the selection.
“You’re way too serious for being so young. You always have been. The rest of us have been fucking up our lives and having a damn good time doing it for years. Now it’s your turn.”
“To do what? Fuck up my life? I’ll pass, thanks.”
“No, just…treat yourself. Go a little crazy. All that mature, responsible behavior cannot be good for your mental health.”
I looked at him over my shoulder. “And I suppose going a little crazy involves a trip to Detroit and lots of sex with you?”
He put his hands out toward me, palms up. “I am totally willing to sacrifice my time and virtue to help you reclaim your lost youth.”
I gave him the frowny face. “I’ll think about it.”
After I chose two bottles, a red from the winery Skylar worked at and a white from another local vineyard, we headed up the peninsula highway. It was sunny and warm, the perfect summer evening.
“What a pretty day,” I sighed.
“It is pretty up here. Think you’ll always live in this area?” Miles asked as he pulled up in his driveway.
“Well, considering I own a business here, my family is here, and I just bought a house, I suppose I’ll say yes.” We got out of the Jeep and started to walk over to my parents’ place. “What about you? You like Detroit?”
He shrugged. “Yeah. I like anywhere for a while. But I’ll probably move again eventually. I don’t like to stay in one place too long.”
It was a good reminder that whatever there was between us was temporary, all in fun, but something in my chest ached a little when he said it. Don’t get carried away with this, I warned myself. And definitely don’t get attached. As fun as it is to mess around with Miles, he’ll be gone in a few days and you’ll still be here like always.
But at least being with Miles had reminded me of what good chemistry feels like. That hum in the air, that flutter in the chest, that pull deep in the belly.
I wanted those things. I deserved them, didn’t I?
“You OK?” Miles whispered as we approached the back deck where my family was gathered, “I see those wheels spinning.”
I took a deep breath. “Yeah. Just thinking.”
“Stop that. No thinking allowed.”
“Hey, everybody,” I called as we climbed the few steps to the deck. “Brought a friend. Hope that’s OK.”
“Miles!” My mother flew over to give him a hug and kiss. “I saw the car in the driveway yesterday and wondered who was in town. How are you, dear? Is your mother up too?”
“I’m great, Mrs. Nixon. No, she’s in California this month. I’m here by myself, so thanks for letting me crash Sunday dinner.”
“You’re always welcome, honey.” She patted his cheek. “So handsome.”
I rolled my eyes and took the brown paper bag from Miles’s arm. “We brought a couple bottles of wine.”
“Great. There’s one open on the table, too. Help yourself. Is Dan coming?” My mother looked at me quizzically.
“Uh, no. He had some things to do.”
“Oh.” She looked satisfied with that. “Well, Miles can sit at his place then. I already set the table.”
“Perfect.”
My dad came over and shook Miles’s hand, my sisters both gave him a hug, Skylar sending me an impish grin over his shoulder, and then I introduced him to Sebastian.
We poured some wine and sat chatting on the deck a few minutes, and when my mother called us in to eat, Miles pulled out my chair and sat me before taking his place on my right.
Skylar kicked me from the left.
She kicked me again when Miles raved about my coffee shop, telling everyone how he’d helped out there today and had a new appreciation for running a place like that.
“My shin is going to be black and blue! Will you knock it off?” I whispered in her ear.
But she kicked me a third time when he praised my photography skills, again when he complimented my baking, and yet again when he boasted that he’d gotten me to agree to a few days off.
“Wow,” laughed my dad. “I didn’t think Natalie was familiar with the concept of ‘days off’ during the summer. How’d you convince her?”
“I have my ways.” Miles smiled cockily, and I kicked him under the table.
“What are you going to do, Nat?” Jillian asked, scooping more pasta salad into her plate. “House stuff?”
“I haven’t exactly decided yet.” Flashing Miles a murderous look, I reached for my wine.
“I’m trying to convince her to go on a road trip with me.” Miles smiled at me with gotcha eyes.
I continued glaring at him. Stop, I mouthed.
“A road trip, how fun!” Skylar squealed while everyone else at the table looked from Miles to me and back to Miles again, trying to figure us out. “Where will you go?”
“I want her to come stay with me in Detroit for a couple days. If she says no, I’m going to kidnap her.” He put an arm around my neck, his hand over my face.
Jesus. Could he be any more obvious? I shook him off, guzzled the rest of my wine, and looked around the table at the perplexed faces. My mother’s fork was stopped halfway to her mouth. Sebastian looked like he was trying not to laugh. And Jillian was blinking rapidly.
“Dan and I broke up!” I blurted.
“What?” said at least two women at the table, maybe three.
“When?” Jillian asked, her eyes wide.
“Last night.” I scanned the shocked, concerned faces of my family. “Look, it’s not something I want to talk about right now, and I’m not really sure if it’s permanent or just some time apart, but when I’m ready to talk, I promise to fill you in.”
“Are you OK?” my mother asked, her blue eyes concerned.
“I’m fine. And Dan’s fine. Everyone’s fine.” I gestured to my right. “And I have Miles here to take my mind off things.”
“Well, I think you guys are smart,” Skylar said. “You’ve never been apart for any length of time, not in ten years. You were just kids when you got together. It’s hard to know who you are as a person when you’ve always been part of a couple, don’t you think?”
“Yes. That’s exactly it.” I picked up my fork again, anxious to end the conversation. Jillian caught my eye, and I sent her a silent plea. She nodded.
“Sky, fill me in on wedding details. What’s new?”
Perfect. I shot her a grateful look, and she smiled.
It was good to know that no matter what changes in my life were ahead, I had my family, and they’d always be there for me.
Family was what mattered most. I could hold on to that.