Chapter Twenty-seven
“Lovely, Gordito! The whole ceremony was just lovely. We’re so proud of you!”
Tim’s mother raised a wine glass, prompting Tim and his father to do the same. The restaurant was full of other fresh graduates and their parents, celebrating after the big event. Tim clinked glasses and smiled, even though he wasn’t in the most festive mood. Not since Ben’s name was called at the ceremony. Tim had half-stood, catching his last glimpse of Ben before he resumed the idyllic life that Tim had interrupted.
“Now what?” his father said with a knowing smirk. “That’s what you’re wondering. I remember the feeling, worrying about job prospects or if you graduated with the right degree.”
“Yeah, exactly.” Somehow Tim managed to hide his sarcasm.
“You’ll find your way, son. You could always work for my company. We could use a new sales rep in Austin.”
Ella beamed at the idea. “That would keep you on your feet until you find the right architectural firm.”
Tim nearly laughed. Architecture wasn’t his future. It was merely a convenient answer when people asked what he planned to do. “Actually, I’ll probably take a break for a while. Maybe travel or focus on my painting.”
“You can’t make a living on your art,” his father said.
That was for sure, but they didn’t know about the money. Eric had left him enough that Tim could live off the interest without touching the actual inheritance, if he was careful. But his parents were clueless, thinking he still lived at the frat house. They didn’t know a thing about his real life. Or Eric.
He thought of Ben, of how much secrecy had already cost him. That was Jace’s true advantage. As cool and confident as Jace might be, Ben never would have left Tim if he hadn’t clung so desperately to his secrets. But he had, which allowed Jace to slip in and take his place, unhindered by any neurotic hang-ups. Now it felt no matter how hard he ran that he would never catch up to Jace. Or Ben.
Maybe it was time that changed.
“I have my own place now,” Tim said as dinner wore down. “Come see it.”
“We have a three-hour drive,” his father replied.
“Just stop by,” Tim pressed. “Mom wants to see it, don’t you?”
“We have time, Thomas.”
“Very well.”
Tim led the way, alone in his car as they headed up to West Lake Hills. He could only imagine what his parents were thinking as they drove through a neighborhood of homes worth astronomically more than their own. They must have thought he was joking when he pulled into the driveway.
“What is this?” Thomas said, shutting the car door. “Is this a frat house?”
“It’s my house,” Tim said, walking to the front door so his parents had to follow. An awkward silence accompanied them until Tim opened the door, Chinchilla scampering around in greeting. Then Tim started speaking. “There was this guy. Eric. He was also a brother in Alpha Theta Sigma, although a little before your time, Dad. Eric Conroy. Did you know him?”
His father shook his head, and Tim led his parents to the living room. Once seated, he told them the truth. All the important parts, at least. He didn’t tell them about Travis, but he did say Eric had once picked him up when he was down, and possibly saved his life. He told them everything wonderful about Eric, even if it didn’t help ease their confusion, and then he told them how he had died.
His father was incredulous. “And he left all this to you?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t see why he would,” his mother said.
“Because we cared about each other.”
Thomas cleared his throat. “If you have all this money, then why have we been paying your tuition?”
“I’ll pay you back, I don’t care. Just listen to me. Eric was a good person, and we weren’t more than friends, but we loved each other. The thing you need to know about Eric, even though it shouldn’t matter, is that he was gay.”
“Oh, Tim,” his mother said as if Tim had been conned or coerced.
“I wasn’t with him like that.”
“Of course you weren’t!” his father nearly shouted. “But he was obviously deluded enough to think he could buy you.”
Tim clamped down on his anger. “Do you remember Ben? From back in high school. He had dinner with us that one night.”
His mother nodded, and when she spoke, her voice was quiet. “They called his name at the graduation ceremony.” She still remembered him, and that confirmed that she had always wondered.
“As you know, he’s gay too, and he and Eric are about the best people I’ve ever met in my life. And I know you’re not going to want to hear this, Mom, but the Bible is wrong. Or maybe people have changed it or twisted the words, because there’s nothing wrong or sinful about being gay.”
His mother’s eyes were brimming with tears, his father’s scowl creating dark crevices between his eyebrows. They knew. Tim had said too much for them not to know, so he might as well get it over with. “I loved Eric, and I love Ben. I’ve already lost them both, but if I’m lucky, I’ll find someone else. But it’s not going to be a woman.”
“That’s enough!” Thomas stood, grabbing his wife’s arm and pulling her to her feet. Then he let go of her and swung a finger in Tim’s direction. “You better get your head straight, young man! We didn’t raise you so you could play these sick games.”
“You barely raised me at all!” Tim shouted. “Don’t act like I’ve disappointed you when you’ve never given a shit about me. You’re worried about what your friends or coworkers will think? Fine! Tell them I’m married to some bimbo with big tits. I don’t care.”
“You watch your mouth!” His father came at him and slapped at him like he was a child. Tim raised his arms in defense, the idea that his father wanted to hit him far worse than the actual blows.
“Thomas! Stop it!”
The assault ceased. Ella hung on to her husband, who was huffing like a bull.
“I’m sorry, Mom. About what I said. But not what I am.” Her eyes pleaded with him to take it all back, but he couldn’t. “I’ve always wanted to be a bigger part of your life, but now I guess the roles are reversed. It’s up to you. If you want to be a part of my life, you’ll have to accept who I am. You always said God has a plan for me. Well, this is it.”
“We’re leaving.” His father pulled free from his wife and stormed out of the room.
Tim’s mother lingered for a moment, a trail of tears glistening on her cheeks. Why was he so good at hurting people?
She hugged him, but he knew better than to get his hopes up. “I’ll pray for you,” she said, a hand on each side of his face. “You pray too. I don’t want you to go to Hell.”
Sure, why not? Even though he hadn’t prayed for a very long time, Tim would, but not for forgiveness. Instead he would pray for God to make his parents finally come to their senses. When they were gone, Tim put Chinchilla on her leash and went for a walk, shedding the anger and disappointment. Long ago he had feared what he would lose by coming out, but his parents had given him so little that there was virtually nothing they could take away.
The men in his life had done the opposite. Eric had given him guidance and a home, not just a house. Ben had given him love—and although he might never know it, tonight Ben had given him a reason to be brave. And he had made sure Tim wouldn’t be lonely again.
“If people want unconditional love, all they need is a dog.”
Chinchilla stopped sniffing the ground long enough to look at him, but when she saw he wasn’t talking about a treat, she went back to her hunt for the perfect place to potty. Feeling oddly content, Tim continued his long stroll through the night.