It’s been four days since I’ve seen Kellee, and I honestly feel like a fucking fiend having withdrawals. I mean literally shaking and wishing I smoked cigarettes just so my mouth would have something to do other than crave hers. But finally, after four days of our schedules clashing, I get to see her again tonight.
I strip out of my scrubs and throw them on my bedroom floor, exhausted from a fifteen hour shift at the hospital. As I fall on my bed and the coolness of the sheets hits my hot skin, I instantly sigh, so happy that I have time for a nap before tonight that I could actually cry. I roll over on my back and tuck my hands behind my head, staring up at the ceiling. As much as I’m ready to pass the fuck out, I can’t stop thinking about Kellee. I can’t wait to touch her again.
To feel her touch me.
After our date, I walked her home and made sure to take the long way. I didn’t want the night to end, and something in me told me she didn’t either. But when we got to her door and she moaned into my mouth as I kissed her slowly, I knew I’d be in trouble if I stayed. There was no fucking way she wouldn’t have been mine if I had followed her upstairs. Fuck that couch, I would have been in her bed with her hair twisted in my hands and her legs tangled around my waist. And I knew if I didn’t want to fuck this up, I needed to move slow. So, as much as it killed me, I pulled away and caught a cab to my place, nursing my blue balls the entire way home.
And my body has craved her ever since.
Unfortunately, the only break my brain got from thinking about Kellee was either at the hospital or when Paisley would creep back in. As much as I want to say I’ve completely forgotten about her and moved on, it’s far from the truth. I swear this girl has some kind of fucking power over me, like she cast a spell without meaning to and now she can’t release me. It’s like half of me is walking forward, but the other half is stuck – still waiting for the girl who’s fit in all my songs, the girl I’ve chased for so long.
My phone vibrates on the bedside table and I almost forego it, my body so ready to sleep, but then my brain reminds me it could be Kellee. I grab it and instantly freeze when I see Paisley’s emerald eyes and long brown hair fill the screen. I swallow hard, the knot in my stomach growing with each buzz in my hand. I haven’t talked to her since the night I drunkenly called and then proceeded to throw my phone. She’s called several times, but I just didn’t know what to say to her, so I never answered. I know I have to eventually face her, I guess now is as good as ever, but something tells me this isn’t going to be a fun conversation.
I sigh heavily before finding my balls and answering, “Hey Paisley.”
“Hey Paisley? That’s all you have to say right now? I’ve been worried sick over here! What the fuck happened? Are you okay?”
I sigh again, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry I worried you.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she says, a little softer now. “I’m just glad you’re okay. Were you having a bad night? Did something happen at the hospital?”
I hate lying to her, but it’s a hell of a lot easier than the truth right now. “Yeah, just a lot of stress with this being my last year, but I’m good now. I just needed some time to figure shit out.”
Paisley doesn’t sound convinced, but she drops it. “Okay, well you know I’m always here if you need to talk or anything. I really miss you.”
A pain stabs through my heart and makes my stomach lurch. I hate when she says shit like that, like I’m the most important person in the world to her. “Yeah, I know.” I try to think of something else to say, like telling her that I miss the fuck out of her too, but I know if I open that flood gate I’ll never get it closed.
“Well listen, I’m really glad you finally answered because guess what?”
Oh shit, if she tells me she’s getting married, I am going to fucking lose it. “What?”
“I’m coming to town! There’s a baking conference in two weeks and I want to check it out, see what the newest trends are and see if I can find a few suppliers for my bakery. I would love to see you!”
I can’t help it, a shit-eating grin spreads across my face and I sit up in bed. “Really? Hell yeah, you better believe you’re seeing me! I mean seriously, did you think you could come to New York and not see your best friend? I’ll have the Jack on stand-by.”
She laughs, and it’s the same beautiful laugh I’ve loved for so many years, “I knew I could count on you. We should land late next Thursday and the conference is all day Friday and Saturday, but we have the nights free. Just let me know what you want to do.”
“We?” I ask before I can stop myself. Please say you’re bringing an assistant. Or a fucking dog.
“Yeah, me and Corbin. He’s going to check out a few of the gyms up there while I’m at the conference and he’s supposed to be meeting with a guy about a new machine he’s interested in. But like I said, we’ll be free both nights so just tell me what works for you.”
My knuckles hurt from gripping the phone so tightly and I can feel the tension weighing on my jaw. I haven’t seen Corbin since I told him the truth about Paisley, since I basically handed her to him on a silver fucking platter. “Great. Can’t wait to see you. I’ll call you later this week with a plan.” I try to sound unaffected, but I’m sure I’m failing miserably.
“Okay, nerd. Don’t work too hard over there. Call me later!” The line goes dead, along with every ounce of joy and excitement I had flowing through my body before I answered that call. Shit, I am not ready for this.
I look at the time. It’s just past eleven, which means Kellee should be working at the pizza place. My mind far from sleep now, I pull on the closest pair of jeans and shirt I can find and practically run to the relief I hope I’ll find in her smile.
For as long as I’ve known Sal, I’ve actually never visited his pizza place. And as many free drinks as he’s given me at The Box, I guess I really owed him this trip a long time ago. As soon as I walk through the door, I spot Kellee. Her long blonde hair is pulled back and she’s busy working dough behind the counter. She’s got a little bit of flour on her left cheek and a thin film of sweat covers her face and neck.
God, I want to fucking kiss that neck.
Sal’s baritone voice bellows through the small shop, “Tanner! Do my eyes deceive me? Am I actually seeing you in daylight without a Jack and Coke in your hand?”
Kellee’s head shoots up and her eyes meet mine before a soft, sexy as hell smile spreads on her plump lips.
“You may be old, Sal, but your eyes haven’t failed you yet. I came to get a slice of this pizza I keep hearing so much about.”
“Oh yeah, I’m sure the pizza is exactly what you came for,” he smiles and motions to Kellee.
She blushes and I can’t help but laugh, “Yeah, I guess I’ve heard more about the great service than the pie.”
Sal chuckles and throws an apron over his head, “Alright, kid. Go take your break, I’ll finish this.” He slides over beside Kellee and takes her place kneading the pizza dough.
Kellee wipes her hands on her apron and plants a small kiss on Sal’s cheek, “Thanks, Sal. I won’t let him keep me too long.”
“Don’t let her lie to you, Sal. It’ll be me forcing her to come back in.”
Sal shakes his head, “Just get out of here before I change my mind, wise guy. She’s like a daughter to me, so don’t get too handsy now.”
“Scouts honor,” I call behind us as we walk out onto the sidewalk.
As soon as the door shuts behind us, I immediately turn to Kellee. “Good thing I was never a boy scout.” I pull her to the wall just out of sight from the shop window and crush my lips to hers, my hands desperate to pull her closer. She weaves her hands through my hair and lets out a soft moan, sending a current straight to my dick. I grab her hips and position her against the wall, pressing my body fully against her. She gasps a little when she feels me, which only makes it harder to not take her right fucking here.
She pulls back, breathless. “Hi to you, too.”
“Hi,” I breathe back, kissing her again. Is it possible to be addicted to kissing someone?
“Couldn’t wait a few more hours?”
“Patience isn’t one of my virtues,” I continue kissing her, this time trailing a line down her neck to her collar bone. Her breathing gets heavier and I’m literally three seconds away from ripping off her clothes and showing her some of the virtues I do possess.
“You’re killing me,” she sighs, biting her lip as I nip at her neck.
“Ditto,” I kiss her neck one last time before pulling back and meeting her sky gray eyes with mine. “But I have to tell you something.”
Her face immediately drops, “What is it?”
I sigh, letting my shoulders deflate. “Paisley is coming.”
As soon as I say it, I wish I wouldn’t have. Her face turns to stone and it’s almost as if the gray color of her eyes darkens to match it, “Oh.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” I brush her cheek with the back of my fingers, “She wants to see me. Corbin is going to be with her. Will you come, too?”
Suddenly, her eyes shoot open wide. “What?! Are you crazy? Absolutely not.” She pushes me off and storms toward the door, but I reach for her and pull her back to me.
“Please, Kellee. I want you there,” I search her eyes, but she won’t look at me. She’s biting the inside of her cheek and I know she’s pissed, so I sigh and tell her the truth. “Shit, I need you there.”
She looks at me, her brows pulling together with concern. “Why? Why do you need me there?”
I bite my lip, not really sure how to say it because I’m not sure I fully understand it yet myself. “I don’t know, Kellee. I just know that since I met you, you’ve given me back a part of myself that’s been lost for more than a year now – a part of me that I never thought I’d get back.”
She turns away again, obviously not sold by my answer. I touch her chin and pull her back to face me, pressing my forehead to hers. “You know how you said you were afraid of me?”
She hesitates and closes her eyes, but nods softly.
“Well,” I pause for a second, not sure if what I’m about to say makes me a fucking pussy or the bravest goddamn man in the world. “I guess I’m afraid of what will happen without you.”
Her eyes open slowly, and it feels like the whole city is waiting for the words that will leave her lips next. The sounds are dull, a hum almost. All I hear is the breath slowly escaping her chest that moves rhythmically in front of me. We’re hanging in this moment, a moment that could change everything between us. She could walk away, and even though I don’t have the right to, I need her to stay. I need her to be with me.
Finally, she breaks the silence. It’s only one word, but it’s the only word I need right now.
“Okay.”