Chapter 4

Madison

“Daniel, come on sweetie, you’ll be late for your first day at Pre-k.”

“I don’t want to go momma.”

“Why, champ?”

“I miss daddy.”

“Daddy’s not here. I told you that. We have to be grateful we have Andrew.”

“No. I don’t like him. He’s mean.”

“He’s mean to you?”

“You momma, you.”

“Don’t worry about me. Now, let’s go.” I grabbed him by the hand, walked to the car, and placed him in the back next to Alyssa.  She entertained him while I strapped him into the car seat. Andrew came up behind me.

“Hey there,” he said as he grabbed me by the waist. I flinched from the touch of his hands on my body, a reminder of the bruises on my hips from the rough sex we had last night. Every night was worse than the night before.

“Andrew, you scared me.” I giggled nervously.

“Where are you going so early?” he asked with a possessive tone in his voice.

“It’s Daniel’s first day at Preschool.” I smiled apprehensively.

“Really? Well, that’ll give us a couple of hours to fuck like rabbits while he’s in school.” He pushed himself against me. I could feel his erection through his pants.

“Not in front of Daniel, Andrew…please.” I pushed him away, and he grabbed me by the wrist.

“I’ll do what I please.” He grabbed me by the hair. “Now come inside.” He commanded.

“I can’t. Let go. He has to go to school.” I grabbed his hand, yanked my hair free, and jumped into the car, locking the door. He ran after me.

“Open the door Madison!” He shouted.

I put the car in reverse and stepped on the gas until I was flying down the driveway. I put the car into drive and proceeded to the school. I heard the sound of tires screeching behind me. I stepped on the gas again making the car go even faster. I looked through the rear-view mirror and saw Andrew’s car behind me.

I panicked but continued to drive to the school at full speed. I freed one hand from the steering wheel and grabbed my cell phone. I pressed the principal’s number from the school. She was also Daniel’s daycare center teacher before she became principal of the school. She knew Andrew. She knew what was happening.

“Hello, Mrs. Austin, It’s Madison Turner. Can you please meet me in front and take the kids inside for me?”

“Mrs. Turner, are you okay? You sound hysterical.”

“Please Mrs. Austin, please, hurry,” I said frantically, dropping the phone on the floor.

As I turned my head to the side, Andrew’s car was toe to toe with mine. We were in a race to see who got to the daycare first. My heart was racing. I was sweating just thinking about the beating I was going to get when I got home tonight. The babysitter was picking the kids up for me. I had to work late tonight. We both pulled into the parking lot and Mrs. Austin was waiting for me. She saw Andrew’s car halt in front of mine and she ran towards the car. My cell phone rang and Mrs. Austin’s name appeared. I picked up.

“Lock the doors. Don’t come out.” She yelled.  She ran to Andrew who was about to open my door when I locked them. He banged on the window. Then he walked away from the car towards Mrs. Austin. I opened the window ever so slightly to hear their conversation.

“Mr. Turner, I think you should leave,” Mrs. Austin said harshly.

“Excuse me?” He chuckled.

“You heard me…leave,” She demanded.

“I’ll do no such thing, Mrs. Austin. You should leave.” He pushed her to the side.

“Mr. Turner, I have the cops on speed dial. Would you like to get arrested this morning?” She opened her arms and stood in front of him to stop him from walking.

“This is business between my wife and me. This is not your concern,” He barked.

“Well, the welfare of those children is my concern. Do I have to remind you that they are not your children?” she said firmly.

“Watch your mouth lady,” He ordered.

“You don’t scare me Mr. Turner. You’re a coward. You can beat up Madison every day if you’d like. Why she stays with, I’ll never know. But, you can’t touch me. So, do yourself a favor and get the fuck out of here,” she shouted.

My stomach churned. I knew within seconds Andrew would raise his hand and smack her across the face if he could, but when the sirens in the distance started to chime in his ears, he turned around, walked to his car and took off. Mrs. Austin walked towards me.

“Come on, Madison, give me the kids…both of them. When you get off of work, meet me at my house. I’ll text you the address.”

“I won’t let you get involved,” I said teary-eyed.

“You have no choice. I won’t let him hurt you or the kids anymore,” she said sternly. “That piece of shit has seen the last of you Madison.”

I grabbed the kids and handed them over to her. She walked into the daycare without looking back and closed the door behind her. The cops arrived and waited for her to come out and address them. My hands were trembling.

All I wanted to do was run inside the school and hide under the table like a scared little girl. I didn’t know what to do next. I called the babysitter and cancelled for the evening. She seemed upset, and I knew why. Andrew hired her, and he was also fucking her. A nineteen-year-old who loved watching the kids and getting screwed by Andrew at the same time.

I wiped the sweat off of my brow, took a deep breath, and started to drive to work. I was doing my internship as a mental health counselor at the clinic in Hyattsville, Maryland. I was working on my degree in Mental Health online at the University of Maryland. Andrew said his wife needed to be an important asset to society, not trailer trash like I was. We never made it to Mexico because Andrew had no fear in his heart. He kept his loaded gun underneath his pillow every night waiting for Stone to show up. He was going to kill him right in front of me and he reminded me of it sometimes when he placed the gun in my mouth while we were having sex. I never knew if he was going to pull that trigger when he came, but that was the highlight for him; seeing me squirm beneath him with tears in my eyes while he asked me to beg for my life, and then…he would come every time.

Every night I lived like it was my last. I cried as he came inside of me, fearing that I would get pregnant and have to have his child. ‘Don’t move’ he ordered. ‘I want my seed deep inside of you. You’ll shower in the morning.’ And that’s when I would cry the most, for my kids, for Stone. I waited for Stone. I waited for him every single day. I told the kids daddy was coming for them every night when I tucked them in. He never showed up. It had been a year now, and I had never heard from him. I wondered if he thought of us? I wondered if he was okay? I wondered if he still loved me?

I finally arrived at work, but I was afraid to get out of the car. I called my friend Alicia to bring Frank, the front desk security officer, out to get me. I was waiting patiently in the car when suddenly the side passenger window exploded into a million pieces. I automatically ducked, but then I felt someone pull me by my hair and drag me through the passenger side door onto the street. I couldn’t even scream as my thighs and legs were being pierced by shards of glass from the window. I looked up to see Andrew’s angry green eyes staring down at me as he continued to drag me down the street.

“Let me go!” I cried. He lifted me up from underneath my arms as pedestrians stood watching in shock.

“Did you really think you were going to get away with that little stunt you pulled at the school?”

“Everyone is watching, Andrew. You’re going to go to jail,” I shouted.

“Not before I have a reason to, Madison.” He pulled out his gun and placed it in my mouth. “Get in the car.” I shook my head no and tried to run away from him. He grabbed my arm. “Get in the fucking car Madison, Now,” he yelled.

“Yo, dude, let go of her!” Some guy in the crowd yelled. Andrew pointed the gun into the air and shot three times. Everyone started to run and scatter in all different directions. Andrew opened the back-passenger door and pushed me into the car, ran into the driver’s seat, and drove off.

I kept my head down and covered it with my hands for fear he was going to shoot me. I took out my phone and texted Mrs. Austin.

I’m in trouble. He found me at work. I’m in the back of his car. Call the police. Call my job.

“What are you doing!” he shouted. I dropped the phone on the floor before I pressed send. I quickly picked it up and pressed the send button before he turned and grabbed the phone from my hand and tossed it out of the window.

I could feel his foot press the pedal as the speed of the car went from zero to sixty. I still held my hands over my head and whimpered into the newly vacuum cleaned rug. It smelled like a new car.

“Didn’t I tell you not to fuck with me, Madison?” he asked calmly through gritted teeth.

“Andrew…stop this. You don’t have to do this,” I sobbed.

“You underestimate me, Madison. You act like I give a fuck about you. Did I ever give you that impression?” He chuckled. I placed my hands over my ears not to listen to him when suddenly the car stopped short and my body flew forward towards the back of the front seat.

“What the fuck?” he yelled.

I sat up and looked towards the front of the car. A man in a suit came out of the car and approached us. I slowly slid down back on the floor of the car and placed my hands over my head. Whoever it was opened the driver’s door.

“Get out Andrew,” I heard the familiar voice say.

“What are you doing here, Jackson?” Andrew asked angrily.

“Saving your ass again. That’s what the GPS was for,” Jackson barked.

“Wait, what about Madison?” Andrew asked.

“Leave her…Let’s go. Now.” I sat on the floor of the car as Andrew exited the car. I heard the other car screech its tires and take off. My heart was pounding against my chest. I was sweating. I grabbed the leather of the backseat and sat up slowly. A tall, blonde- headed man approached the car. His piercing blue eyes gleamed in the light. I was so exhausted and frightened I couldn’t move. He opened the passenger back door.

“Miss, are you okay?” he whispered. He must’ve seen the expression of horror on my face.

“No…,” I answered. He reached out for me and I grabbed his hand.

“Come on.” He walked me through the crowd of people and into a diner.

“Sit here. I’ll be right back.”

I looked around, not knowing who or what was going to approach me next. The pounding of my heart made me breathless and all I could think about was when this guy was going to come back to kill me.

I stood up slowly, apprehensively. I didn’t want anyone to notice I was leaving. I was trying to slip out of the diner when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned around. It was him.

“Where are you going?” he asked. His eyes innocent and concerned.

“Look, I don’t know what your intentions are but I have to get my kids. Please, I have to go.” He grabbed me by the arm gently.

“Let me help you.” He stared at me intensely. His eyes were honest. “I just want to help you,” he whispered.

He grabbed my hand, and we walked out of the diner. As much as I felt I didn’t trust him, I had to. I had to find a way to get to the kids before Andrew did.

“Come on, we’ll grab a cab so we’re not alone,” he said.

“Who are you?”

“I watched him grab your phone and throw it out of the window. I was in the car next to his,” he said shaking his head. “What an asshole your boyfriend is.”

“He’s my husband.”

“Even worse.” He held out his hand to hail a cab. There was something about how he tried to hail a cab that struck me, like he was from the city.

“I think you should call one. I don’t think they just stop on the street here.”

“Fair enough.” He reached for his cell phone and dialed a number.  We stood awkwardly, waiting for the cab as he tried to make small talk to pass the time. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before one pulled up.

He opened the back door, and I glanced around the area before getting in, hoping someone noticed me getting into the cab. I slid over to the far side of the back seat as he slid in beside me. He grabbed my hand gently and stared at me with those intense blue eyes. I swallowed hard.

“You’re going to be okay.” He smiled at me and I felt safe.

“Where to?” the cab driver asked. His blue eyes met mine.

“Ridgecrest elementary school,” I replied.

“Okay…” The cab driver drove off. This savior with the blue eyes smiled and held my hand. I loosened my grip and placed my hand on my lap.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” he whispered. There was something about the sound of his voice. Warm. Soothing. Caring. It made me feel at ease.

“I don’t know who you are,” I said, gazing into his eyes.

“I’m a concerned citizen. Just looking out to help another human being.” He smiled. His smile was contagious. “I thought he would kill you. I didn’t want that to happen.”

“Why would you care? Why would you risk your life?” I whispered.

“I don’t know. I felt…I needed to.”

I turned away from his intense stare and glanced out the window of the cab. I took a deep breath and hoped that Mrs. Austin had Daniel and Alyssa in her possession.  The cab driver continued to drive, the familiar houses that surrounded the elementary school caught my attention. My heart began to race, my breath becoming erratic. It almost felt as if I were going to have a panic attack.

“We’re almost there,” he said.

“Your name. What’s your name?” I asked.

“Alex,” he replied.

“Thank you, Alex, “I said and tapped the top of his hand lightly.

“Okay, we’re here. Ten-fifty, miss,” the cab driver said.

“This is where we say goodbye,” Alex said without blinking.

“I’m Madison by the way. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier.” I smiled. It was a desperate smile. I was afraid. Afraid the kids wouldn’t be there when I went inside the school.

“It’s okay. Go get your family. Good luck,” he said without smiling.

“Thank you. Good bye.” I whispered.

I stared at the cab as it drove away. I saw Alex pick up his cell phone and place it near his ear and saw his lips move. I saw a slow grin grow as he spoke. I immediately felt uneasy. I glanced around the parking lot and saw the same black Lincoln that had stopped abruptly in front of us on the highway. My legs grew weak. I couldn’t move. My mind went blank. The message to run into the school building did not register to my brain. I stood immobilized in the front of the school, tears building up in my eyes.

I started to pray to a God I had hated for giving me the fucked-up life that I was given, only to remember that it was the same God that got me through the vicious nights of rough sex with Andrew reminding me of how I was going to pay for killing his brother. Somehow, in the midst of being paralyzed and brain dead, I got the courage to move my legs and I started running towards the school doors. I heard a car door slam behind me as I pressed the buzzer so someone would let me in.

I banged on the door furiously with both fists. I saw Andrew’s reflection in the glass door. I banged harder and harder, then I began to scream. Suddenly, the doors opened. I stumbled in and fell face first on the floor. I quickly turned over on my back and kicked the doors closed with both feet. Andrew stood on the other side of the doors staring at me.

“Don’t open the doors!” I shouted.

  Security approached me and lifted me up from the floor. My entire body was shaking. I turned and begged the security officer.

“Please, please, don’t, don’t open the door!” I yelled.

“Mrs. Turner, it’s okay. The police are outside. Let me escort you to Mrs. Austin’s office. Your children are waiting for you,” he said calmly and politely.

He placed his arm around my back. I turned around and looked towards the doors. Andrew’s wicked smile made my insides roll. He was approached by the Maryland State police. I stood staring as he walked away from the building. He was stopped and placed in handcuffs before he reached the police car. I gasped, the tears flowing down my face.

I walked over to the door and stared through the glass. Andrew stopped before entering the back seat of the police car. He turned to look back at me. I watched in horror as his lips moved. He mouthed, ‘you are dead bitch.’ I stepped back away from the doors and turned to the security officer.

“Take me to my children please,” I said nervously.

We proceeded towards the office, the anticipation of seeing Daniel and Alyssa making me sick to my stomach. He opened the door to Mrs. Austin’s office.

“Momma!” Daniel yelled and ran to me.

“Momma!” Alyssa cried as she stumbled to follow Daniel.

I knelt down on the floor and wrapped them both in my arms.

“Oh, my babies! Are you okay?”

“Yes, momma!” Daniel cried as he hugged me by the neck.

“And my little princess?” Alyssa nodded with tears in her crystal blue eyes.

“I want daddy, momma, daddy,” Daniel shouted.

“I want daddy, too,” I whispered in his ear.

“May I speak with you Madison?” Mrs. Austin Asked.

“Yes, of course.”

“Jimmy, can you take the kids to the cafeteria for some snacks?” Jimmy nodded and took Alyssa and Daniel by the hand.

“Momma?” Daniel said.

“Yeah, champ?” I asked.

“Momma, I love you. Don’t leave, okay?” he said smiling.

“I’m not leaving. Ever.” I smiled, trying to hold back the tears.

“Promise?” he questioned me. My heart broke in half.

“I promise champ. Now, go get momma some Cheetos.” He laughed, let go of Jimmy and ran to me. He wrapped his arms around my legs. I patted his head lightly, while holding in the tears that were ready to fall. He let me go and ran back to Jim. Alyssa smiled and held Jimmy tightly.

“Cheetos Daniel,” she said laughing.

The door closed behind them and Mrs. Austin stood up, leaning against her desk.

“Madison, what are you going to do?”

“Well, trust no one that’s for sure. The guy who offered to help me set me up so Andrew could be here when I got here,” I said nervously.

“I mean about Andrew. He’s going to kill you one day. This is not a joke,” she said lowering her head towards the floor.

“I’m scared, Mrs. Austin,” I whispered, the tears trundled down my cheeks relentlessly.

“Please call me Angela,” she said.

“Angela, Andrew is capable of murder, you’re right. He broke Daniel’s arm and threw both of the children in a lake without remorse. Alyssa almost died. She hit her head and developed a blood clot. He killed my best friend Clarissa. He’s a monster. I can’t escape him.” I swallowed hard as the ball in my throat choked me, the tears flowing without end in sight.

“Madison, you have to get away. You have to divorce him. Where is the father of your children?” She said suspiciously.

“It’s a complicated story,” I whispered.

“I have time.” She sat on the couch and motioned with her hand for me to join her.

“Angela, Daniel and Alyssa are not my children. They are my brother and sister. The man they know as their father is actually my brother. We raised them since they were babies. I had another brother who died of leukemia when he was five. My mother was a junkie and a prostitute. Stone, my brother, his father was a junkie and dropped him off at my mother’s doorstep when he was thirteen. I was eleven. He said his father told him that she was his mother. We took care of each other. I was his everything, and he was mine. We fell in love the very first time I touched his hand when I was eleven.”

“Wait, this Stone guy…he’s like, your stepbrother, right?” she asked. Her eyebrows furrowed and the concerned look on her face changed to disgust. “I mean; how can you love him? he’s your brother.”

“I love him because he loved me. He killed a man who was going to rape me when I was thirteen. He was the only man in my life who didn’t hurt me, who took care of me. Who loved me wholeheartedly without question, without falter?”

“But sweetie, he’s your brother.”

“I know…and I don’t care. He went to jail for six years for me. I visited him every weekend with the kids. We raised them. We did. Not our mother. Not their fathers. We did.” I began to sob. The pain in my heart for Stone was so strong, I became lightheaded and nearly collapsed.

“Madison, here…drink some water,” Angela said as she held my hand. She offered me a tissue but instead, I leaned my head on her shoulder and cried…the ugliest cry you have ever seen. I felt like I was bleeding inside. Like my heart had exploded and I couldn’t breathe. “Madison, please,” she whispered into my hair.

My body shook uncontrollably, I grabbed her blouse at the shoulders and fisted it into my hand. I needed something to hold on to. She grabbed my hands gently, and I released my grip on her. She pushed me away and stood up. I stood staring at her, my heart broken, my nerves shot and my mind on the only thing that mattered in this world…Stone. “Your husband has been arrested. Let’s get you home to gather some things and then you can stay with me. We can talk later about your brother.” She grabbed my hand, and I grabbed Daniel and Alyssa.

I walked into the house that I had called home for a year now.

Everything immaculate.

Everything the way he wanted it.

Nothing out of place.

No toys around the house to show that children lived there.

No life to the house we were supposed to call a home.

I went to Daniel and Alyssa’s room and gathered some clothes. I inhaled deeply, looking around the room, and making sure I wasn’t leaving anything important behind. As I walked towards our bedroom, I noticed the door to the closet that was always locked. Today it was slightly ajar. For many months I had been curious to see what was inside. I pushed the door open with my free hand and glanced inside. A black bag sat at the bottom of a shelf, tucked in neatly between a pair of tennis shoes and a tea pot. As strange as that seemed, the black bag called out to me. I leaned down and picked the bag up. I sat on the floor of the hallway, placed the kid’s clothes on the floor, and opened the bag. To my surprise, it held birth certificates and two envelopes, one of them sealed. I glanced through the birth certificates, Bryan’s, Daniel’s, Alyssa’s and mine. Alyssa had no father and mine…The birth certificate slipped out of my hands. Stone was right.

His father was my father.

My heart hurt.

A feeling of guilt ran deep into my gut.

The love I had for my brother.

The only love I knew and ever wanted was confirmed that our blood was the same.

The open flap of the envelope seemed as easy to open as the black bag, but the tight, sealed envelope enticed me more. Curiosity had my body aching for the thick paper that lay folded neatly in that envelope. I couldn’t wait a second more. I tore open the seal flap and pulled out the folded white paper that lay nestled inside. I opened it. A letter and a birth certificate.

Birth Certificate

Joseph Michael Shelton

Mother: Annette Emily Perkins

Father: Mickey Shelton

My heart sank into my stomach. Happiness struck a chord so deep within me the tears automatically fell from my eyes without notice. We only shared the same father, not the same mother. My God… we had waited so long to find out and now that I knew…I could love him; I could be with him. I had to find him, tell him how much I loved him. That he was my half-brother and that it was okay for us to be together. I stuffed the birth certificate back in the envelope not noticing the letter that had dropped on the floor. I grabbed the kids clothing and stepped on the letter. I bent down to pick it up, then read it.

Madison, if you’re reading this letter, tell Stone I’m glad I’m not his mother; look what I did to you. I met Annette one day at your grandmother’s house. I don’t know what she was doing there, but it was after your sixteenth birthday. She was crying, a lot of tears, uncontrollably. Grandma sat her down at the kitchen table telling her it was going to be okay. I needed money for my next hit of heroin. I passed right by her. I didn’t care what she was crying about.

I’ve never been human Madison, just a junkied up whore. Drugs and my mother ruined my life. If I was his mother, I would’ve done the same thing I did to you and the kids. He deserves to find his birth mother. He deserves a little happiness in his life. Happiness I couldn’t give him.

Though he suffered because of my mistakes, I’m happy he found you. He’s been good to you Maddie. Take care of each other. Make sure you give him the birth certificate. Let him find some happiness. Will you tell him I’m sorry? Will you tell him, Madison…Please?

I crumpled the letter in my hand. How long had she had all of these birth certificates? She knew Stone was not her son and didn’t tell me. She didn’t even tell him. God, I hated that she created four children and didn’t give a fuck about any of them. I hated the fact that she let my own father rape me. I hated her for killing Bryan. I hated her for dying and leaving me alone. I hate myself for loving my mother and feeling sorry for her.

I heard a car horn beeping and shoved the crumpled-up letter into the envelope.  I ran down the stairs quickly and opened the door and ran to the car.

“Madison, are you okay? You look like you saw a ghost,” Angela said frantically.

“I did. I did,” I whispered as I turned around to look at the kids in the back seat.

“Are you ready to go to Aunt Angie’s house?” she shouted to the kids in the back.

“Yay!” Daniel shouted as he raised Alyssa’s arms. “Say yay! Lyssa!” Alyssa smiled. She had Bryan’s smile, and I closed my eyes for a moment, picturing his beautiful face. I turned towards the window and let the tears fall again from my eyes. My Bryan. My poor angel.