Kallie

“That glow says everything I need to know.” Nora laughs, sitting down across from me at Carlson’s.

“You don’t know anything.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you haven’t slept with Cross.”

I grab a menu and hold it vertically between us in hopes of covering my blushed cheeks. It’s not that there’s anything to be embarrassed about, but it seems like it was so expected and I just caved.

How could I not?

I set myself up for this by going home from the golf course with him. It’s absolutely what I wanted. Yet, now that I crawled out of his bed this morning after staying with him all night and got a few cups of caffeine in me, both the soreness between my legs and a hint of concern are becoming evident.

Nora laughs from the other side. “So I was right. Go on, say it.”

The menu drops to the table. “Of course you’re right, but that squeal”—I point a finger in her direction—“is not necessary.”

“Oh, yes it is! This is almost as good as Justin and Britney getting back together. It’s the natural progression of things, the way they’re supposed to be. How can I not celebrate this?”

“You realize you’re essentially celebrating my orgasms, right?”

“Plural?” She throws her head back. “Of course plural. Fucking asshole.” While I laugh at her reaction, she takes moment to recover. “So, I’m assuming he’s better than before.”

“He was always my best. No matter what, he was the bar I measured everyone else up to, you know? But now…it’s like that’s not the same person.”

Nora’s eyes grow wide as she gulps for effect.

“He’s patient now, almost…tender? He kisses me and—”

“No more.” Nora’s hands are an inch away from her ears, mock trying to block out my recant of last night.

“What?” I giggle.

“I have to see him every Friday night at Crave. I don’t want to be looking at him thinking of the way he kisses you in private time and all that. It would be weird.”

Veronica comes out of nowhere and leans against the table. She pretends not to have overheard us for a minute and then, like the small-town business owner she is, she gives in. “You and Cross are together now, huh?”

“No,” I say as Nora says, “Yes.”

Veronica laughs. “I remember the two of you dating. You were always so cute, this big tough guy and a sweet little girl.”

“Yeah, well, we aren’t together,” I say, looking at Nora pointedly. “We’re feeling things out, I guess.”

“I’d say you felt it out.” Nora tosses me a wink. “You’re fighting the universe here, Kal. You and Cross are supposed to be together, having beautiful little babies. You can’t fight it forever.”

“I’d say she’s right. I saw how he was looking at you yesterday,” Veronica chimes in. “But I’m glad to hear you aren’t together right now, not officially, anyway.” She looks down at her notepad and takes an ink pen out of her pocket like she just didn’t say that.

Avoiding Nora’s eyes and swallowing past the lump in my throat, I try to look unaffected. There’s zero doubt she’s toying with me, seeing if I’ll take the bait she just dropped. I wish I could ignore it and continue on with my order and my day, but I’m not strong enough for that. “Why do you say that?”

“No big deal,” she says, giving me a fake laugh. “He was just through the drive-through a few minutes ago with that Megan, and we all know that girl’s reputation.”

“Cross was with Megan McCarter?” Nora asks. “Today?”

“Yeah. I mean, if he’s not taken, how can you blame him? Men have needs,” Veronica says.

“That’s the biggest load of horse shit I’ve ever heard.” Nora takes her menu and slams it into the condiments tray.

My hand visibly shakes as I try to get my menu lined up with hers. The plastic rattles as it swings back and forth, bouncing off the metal. Nora has sympathy and takes it from me then puts it away.

“I’m not with him,” I say. It’s aimed at Nora, my words directed across the table, but in reality, I’m saying it for me. “He is working with her at the gym.”

“Look, I didn’t mean to stir the pot…” Veronica looks at me with more smugness than I ever care to see on a person again.

“It’s fine,” I say, grabbing my purse. “Hey, Nora, can you take me to the library? I forgot I’m supposed to meet Ruby there in ten minutes.”

“Sure.”

Veronica watches us get to our feet, ignoring the death stare from Nora. “Want me to send someone over with delivery?”

“No, thanks though.” With a final smile that I have to force, we walk out of the bakery. As soon as we’re in Nora’s car, I collapse into the soft leather seat. “I won’t make a big deal about this.”

“Don’t, not until we know for sure what he was doing with her in his car.”

My heart quivers in my chest. Biting down on my bottom lip, I buckle my seat belt. “Can you drive me to the gym?”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.”

* * *

Cross

“Good workout today, Cobble. See ya next week.” I grab a towel and wipe my face off as my fourth appointment of the day gathers his things. Usually by this time of day, my ass is dragging, but not today. Today I have so much damn energy I could train an entire football team.

A few minutes will go by and I’ll forget I spent the night with Kallie. I’ll get caught up in teaching a jab or timing a round on the jump rope and she’ll momentarily be gone from my mind.

Then I’ll remember.

The image of her spread out on my bed, how soft her skin felt last night as I held her tight against me will come charging back, and I immediately have another spark in my step.

It doesn’t seem real in many ways. This girl I thought I lost, the girl I knew I’d never stop thinking about is all of a sudden back and has fallen in step with me again.

Thank God.

The door chimes and I look up, expecting to see Cobble leaving. I do, but I also see Kallie walking in.

“Hey, babe…” My voice drifts off as I take in the look on her face. “What’s wrong?”

“Um, nothing…not really.”

“Then why do you look like you lost your puppy?”

She crosses her arms and then drops them. She crosses them again. “How has your day been?”

“Good. Getting better—I think,” I add, still unsure as to what’s causing her to fidget with the hem of her shirt. “How was yours?”

“Fine.” She heads to the free weights and drags her finger over them. “Did you train Megan today?”

“Yup. Last session. She took it reasonably well.”

She raises a brow. “Took what?”

“The fact that I’m not training her anymore,” I explain. “We talked about that.”

Her arms go across her middle again, this time firmly. She takes a deep breath, almost like she’s counting to ten before blowing it out. It makes me take one too in an attempt to settle the little fire that starts to burn in my gut.

“So, the things you said to me last night, Cross, about how this changed things between us…”

“Yeah?”

“Exactly how did you mean that?”

“I meant it like if I see a man hitting on you, I’ll break his face. Exact enough?” I’m partially teasing, but she there is no levity in her reaction. Instead, she bites the inside of her cheek.

“I was just in Carlson’s with Nora. Veronica said you and Megan were in your truck—”

“Dammit!” I throw the towel at the basket near the wall. “Why is she starting trouble?”

“So you were with her today? Getting lunch?”

“No—well, yes, I took her to Carlson’s and grabbed a sandwich because it was the easiest fucking way to get her out of my gym.”

Her jaw clenches as she huffs. “Really, Cross?”

“Yes, fucking really,” I say back. My head spins in disbelief. “She had Molly drop her off here and she didn’t come to pick her up. Was that intentional? Probably. Did I want it to happen? Absolutely not.”

“Explain to me again why she was in your truck getting lunch?”

Forcing a swallow, I try to be calm. “I needed to head to the school for a boxing class I was putting on for the sophomore class. Megan was still here. What was I supposed to do, Kal? Leave her on the sidewalk?”

“That’s where whores usually do their work. She’d probably feel right at home.”

“I know you didn’t mean that, but dammit…” I laugh, leaning against the wall. “When did you get so mean?”

“When I feel messed with.”

“I was just trying to move on with my day.”

She turns her back to me, looking at the parking lot. “I need to move on with my day too.”

There’s a finality in her tone, an insinuation that she doesn’t just mean her day. Panic shoots through my veins and I’m to her before she can even take a step. “Hey, don’t get crazy.” My hands go to her hips. I feel her body wanting to cave back into mine, but she doesn’t let it. “I’ll cancel my last session today if you’ll go home with me.”

“I…” She gulps. “I have things to do today.”

“You do not.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then come over tonight.”

“I’m helping Mom sort things she pulled out of the attic.”

“Want me to help?” I ask, running my hands up and down her arms.

“No.”

“Kallie,” I groan, twisting her around. “Stop it.”

“I think you’re right. That’s exactly what I’ll do,” she says, looking away from me. “At least for now.”

“Oh, no. You’re not doing this.”

She snorts, flipping her gaze to mine. It’s steeled, with an iciness to it I haven’t seen since that night way back when. “What in the world am I doing, Cross?”

“You’re not giving me the benefit of the doubt.”

“No,” she says with a simple shrug. “I’m not, because I’ve been through this with you before and I don’t know why I thought it might be different this time. It’s not.”

“The hell it’s not!” I roar, taking a step back. “I fucking love you, Kallie. I’ve waited on you to come back for years and you tell me it’s not different? Maybe you’re not different, but I fucking am!”

She blanches, stepping away from me too. The corners of her eyes wet as she takes another step back. “Maybe we both are.”

My chest reverberates as I watch her take each step toward the door. With each inch of distance added between us, the air stagnates. A hollowness begins to form in my chest, and I know it will never fill this time.

“I love you,” I tell her, my voice the softest this gym has ever heard.

“Do you? Do you really?”

“I had this big thing worked up to tell you but then I thought it would be better to show you, to make you believe it so much you didn’t have to ask or wonder,” I admit. “Guess that failed.”

“I need time to think,” she says, her voice seeping with unshed tears. “I forgot what it’s like to date in a small town. It’s so damn hard.”

“It’s not hard if you love someone. You take the truth for the truth and the shit for what it is—shit.” My head nods as I pick up a clean towel. “I’ve never, ever cheated on you, Kal. Have I messed up? Sure. Should I have had Megan in my truck? Maybe not, but I’ve been alone for a long time and I forgot about dating in a small town too.”

“I hate this,” she says. “I hated the rumors then and I hate them now. Sitting there with Veronica acting like I don’t know some big secret is awful, Cross, and I’ve spent a lot of years in that position, whether you were really cheating on me or not. It hurts. It eats away at you.”

“And being accused over and over eats away at me too.” I wipe my face with the towel, scrubbing a little harder than necessary. “I can’t make you love me any more than you could change who I was back then. I changed because I wanted to, but I can’t make you love me if you don’t want to.”

Her tears fall. I want to go to her and hold her and kiss them away, but I don’t. I leave her to them. She’s the one who wants to believe a stupid-as-shit reason enough to warrant them falling.

“See ya, Cross.”

Before she can leave me again, I turn away from her and head into the back room.