After waiting a damn eternity for the elevator, I say screw it and head for the stairs. The exercise will be good for me and the baby. At least that’s what I tell myself before starting the trek up the eleventy million stairs. Last time I took them I wasn’t nearly as pregnant and going down is a whole lot easier than going up.

Finally reaching the top, I head toward Jason’s place pretending like I’m not winded and then when I’m unable to lie about that, convincing myself that the only reason I am winded is because of the stairs and nothing to do with seeing him again. We weren’t supposed to see each other ’til tomorrow, but I left my book here last night and I need it for my paper. I knock on the door and will my breathing and heart rate to get their shit together. I’m just about to knock again when the door flies open and a beautiful, and surprised woman stands there gaping at me.

Shit. Didn’t take him long did it? Ignoring the crushing feeling I have no right to feel, I stand a little straighter. Determined to not allow her to see how much this just hurt me. With a fake smile, I push on.

“Sorry to bother you, is Jason here?”

The woman’s mouth opens and closes three times, I know because I counted, before she says

“Yes. Yeah. He’s in the shower though.” She pauses, looking me over from head to toe before going on, “Do you want to come in?”

Her tone is dripping with uncertainty and curiosity. Clearly, she has a close relationship with him if she’s answering his door and he’s in the shower. Plus, it’s not even noon yet. Did she spend the night? Come just after I left? That hurts even more after the talk we had.

“I just need to grab a book I left here last night.”

“Last night? You were here last night?” The woman asks confused and even more curious than before.

Before I can answer, I hear Jason from somewhere inside the apartment “Joey, I love you and all but—Stella?”

I can see him over her shoulder. Standing in the middle of his living room, a towel knotted low on his hips, water dropping onto his shoulders and chest from his mop of wet hair. The sun from the floor to ceiling windows casting him in a god-like glow. Why does he have to be so damn hot?

Jason moves forward so that he’s standing directly behind the woman he called Joey now, looking at me with concern.

“Is everything okay? The baby?”

I nod, not able to talk past the lump in my throat when Joey barks out a laugh.

“Ooooohhh you’re in so much trouble. I’m telling Ma.” She sing songs gleefully.

“Shut up, brat. Let Stella in. Cruz, this is my sister Joey. Joey this is Stella Cruz my—” he stalls, not sure what to say when Joey pipes in

“Your baby mama?”

She’s practically bouncing on her toes she’s so excited. I’m not sure if it’s at the prospect of being an aunt or getting Jason in trouble. I’m too embarrassed by my reaction to her being there to look too closely, but I’m guessing it’s more to do with ratting him out.

Jason shoves her gently out of the way> “Come in, Stell. Ignore my little sister. She’s a pain in the ass,” he says good-naturedly.

“Hey! I am not! Okay, I kind of am.” Joey laughs. “Nice to meet you, Stella,” she says, still eyeballing me and my wicked pregnant state.

“Hi.” I wave awkwardly. “I’m sorry to just show up, I just need my book. I must have left it last night and I have to try to start on this paper before I go to work.”

“Come in. And you can show up here whenever, Stella.”

I give him a look that screams ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ that he catches and has the decency to look remorseful.

“Yeah, not my best moment, okay?”

“No. No, it wasn’t.” I’m not sure I’ll let him live that one down anytime soon. Or ever.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be nosey— “

“Yes, you do.” Jason cuts in.

She sticks her tongue out at him reminding me so much of myself and Carlo.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I don’t mean to be nosey but how old are you and are you pregnant with my brother’s baby?” Right to the point she is.

Opening my mouth to answer Jason interjects, “She’s old enough and you’ll hear all about it after mom does. Speaking of which, I was just going to call you. I told my ma we would come for lunch.”

“You what? Your mom? Why?” I stammer.

“Well, because I told her I had someone she had to meet and since I’m only here for a couple days…” I’m aware of Joey watching this whole thing go down like a spectator at a tennis match.

“I can’t, I have to work.”

“Call in.”

“Can’t do that. I won’t be able to work for much longer.”

“I will pay you what you would have made.” He says a little exasperated.

“Don’t do that. Don’t throw your money at me like that. Remember this isn’t Pretty Woman. I don’t need a pimp or a sugar daddy or whatever.” I tell him, pissed that he would even suggest that.

“I was going for Knight in shining armor, but pimp works.” Jason says, grinning from ear to ear. “Take the night off. Please. I promise you, you will not miss the money. My lawyer—”

I raise my hand to stop him not willing to discuss this in front of his sister.

“Okay, okay.” He lifts his palms in surrender. “But seriously.”

He gives me the puppy dog eyes and I can’t deny him. How could anyone say no to those baby blues? God, I hope the baby doesn’t have those eyes. He or she will be spoiled rotten if they do.

“Fine. I’ll go.”

“Oh, this is gonna be good.” Joey murmurs.

* * *

An hour later I’m walking into Jason’s parent’s house in Cambridge, palms sweating, legs a little unsteady as he takes my jacket from my shoulders.

He leans into me and whispers in my ear, “Don’t worry, Stella. They’re going to love you and be excited about this baby. Just as excited as I am.”

He presses a kiss to my temple that I want to lean into. Wonder about. Ask him what it means. If he’s really excited about the baby and why in the hell he believes me. But there’s not time. A woman in her mid-fifties comes into the hallway wearing a Chicago hockey shirt and a pair of black leggings. Here we go.

“There’s my favorite hockey player.” She says excitedly pulling him into a tight hug. “How are you, baby? Still sore from the game?”

“Nah, I’m okay, ma.”

“Good. Bastard.” She says ferociously. Just like a mama bear. I saw the game; I may have called the guy who hit him a bastard myself.

“Ma, this is Stella Cruz. Stella, Carly Dagger.” When she turns to me her eyes widen, almost to the point I think they might fall right out of her damn head before she catches herself.

Holding my hand out to hers I force my lips to stretch into a wobbly smile. “Mrs. Dagger.”

She takes my hand, eyes on my belly then to Jason and back to me. “Please, call me Carly. My mother in law was Mrs. Dagger and she was not a nice woman.” I laugh nervously.

Jason interrupts the awkward moment, “Whose all here?”

“Just you guys and your dad. Your sisters won’t be here until tomorrow night.”

“Perfect, I don’t want to overwhelm, Stella.”

He places a reassuring hand on the small of my back. I’ve never been so grateful for such a simple touch. I feel on the verge of a panic attack. I’ve never been a part of a large family and for the last little while it’s just been me since Carlo has been deployed and Abuelita passed away. I’m ready to jump out of my skin until his warm palm through my thin sweater anchors me. Calms me. What in the world is happening to me?

“Let’s go into the family room. I think your dad is watching a game. We can probably tear him away from it.” She laughs.

“Stella, can I get you anything to drink?”

“No. I’m fine thank you.” If I even attempt to drink anything right now, I’ll choke.

With Jason’s hand guiding me, I follow his mother into the room. A man, I presume his father, looks up from the TV. His eyes land on his son and then on me and he says “Well, that took a lot longer than I expected. I assumed I’d be a grandpa before you graduated high school the way you carried on.” The room erupts into laughter, I even find myself giggling.

“Whatever old man.” The men embrace and then Mr. Dagger turns to me.

“And who is this pretty girl?” His eyes are the same color blue as Jason’s and smiling right along with the rest of him. He’s like a young Santa Claus if that makes any sense. He just looks…jolly.

“Dad, this is Stella Cruz. Stella, my dad, Johnathan.”

I hold out my hand to him and he waves it away, “Bring it in for the real thing, sweet pea. If you’re gonna make me a grandpa, we can’t be strangers.” His dad scoops me into a gentle, yet warm hug. “Welcome to the family, Stella. We’ve been waiting for you.” He says quietly, so only I can hear. That simple statement had tears pricking at my eyes. Family. I forgot how much I’ve missed being a part of one.

“Johnathan, let the poor girl go so I can get a look at her.” Carly Dagger says swatting at his arm. He releases me and steps back, bringing Jason with him to gather him into a back thumping hug and murmured words.

There are tears in her eyes now as well, no judgment or distrust and just like that, all of the tension leaves my body. These people are inherently good and kind just like their son and my child would be a part of this. Of them. The peace I feel at that is overwhelming. I was determined to do this on my own.

To be the only family this baby would ever need and now the fact that I don’t have to be, that he or she would have the Daggers with their big hearts and open arms, is more than I could have ever hoped or imagined. I look over at Jason who is smiling at something his dad is saying to him and realize that even though we may not know each other well, we’re not even in a real relationship, and yet I wouldn’t choose anyone else to be this baby’s father.