Chapter Fifteen

Noah

As soon as she tasted her meal, she threw her head back and moaned. Whatever fucking power I had was gone, poof, vanished. That and the fact that all my blood traveled south, my cock fighting the constriction of my shorts. I couldn’t do anything except grab onto my fork and knife with all my might instead of flipping the table over and devouring her.

The minute I walked into the fucking yoga class I knew I made several mistakes. One, the smell was really horrible like I was in the middle of a barnyard. The second was her smile. Her smile stopped me in my tracks and then finally those fucking yoga pants. Jesus, good thing I had a jock on, which didn’t make me show the world what I had to offer. Now here I am in the same state. This woman gets me going every single time.

This whole being friends is complete bullshit. There is no way that she doesn’t want me as much as I want her. I can see it in her eyes, see it in the way her body responds to me. I’m about to lean in and take her hand in mine when Giovanni comes back out.

“Nonno wants to know if you want more food?”

Kaleigh smiles up at him. “I couldn’t eat another bite.”

He nods at her while he takes her plates. I place my fork and knife down.

He clears the plates, leaving us all alone.

“See.” I grab my water. “We can have dinner together as friends.” I wink at her.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she says, rolling her eyes.

Giuseppe comes out with a plate of fruit. Some watermelon, grapes, cantaloupe, and a couple of figs.

“Hmmm. I love fruit,” she says, picking up a piece of watermelon, biting it, and it’s almost as if it’s happening in slow motion. Her teeth bite into the watermelon, the juice leaking out the side her mouth. She licks her lower plump lip, my eyes following the movement.

“Noah.”

I shake my head.

“Where you go?” Giuseppe asks, laughing.

“Just thinking about my busy day tomorrow.” I grab a couple of grapes, tossing them into my mouth.

“You worka too hard. The whole country same thing. In Italy you have to slow down and enjoy life. La Vita Bella.”

The good life he says and I just nod at him. I pay the bill or at least I try, but since we are friends, Kaleigh chipped in.

Getting up from the table, Giuseppe comes over, kissing Kaleigh on both cheeks. “You come back, yeah?”

She smiles and nods. The walk back to the cars is quiet. The only sounds are the occasional cars along with the crickets. I follow her to her car, our hands grazing each other.

She opens her door, turning around as she stands outside. “Thank you so much for coming and for dinner.”

I lean in closer to her. Her breath hitches softly. “There is nowhere else I would have rather been.”

She stands straight. “Even with the goat rape?” She laughs, leaning in.

“Even with the goat rape.” I move forward just a touch more. “Want to hear a secret?” I ask her and she doesn’t answer, but I see her throat move as she swallows and nods. “If this were a date, I would end this differently,” I whisper to her.

Her eyes blink. She folds her lips then licks them. “Like what?” she asks, her voice so soft it’s almost like she didn’t say anything.

“Like”—I lick my own lips now—“I would hold your hand walking here. I’d open the door for you to get in, but before you get in I would lean in and taste your lips. I would kiss you gently at first.” I smile, thinking about it. “Then I would slowly lick your lips to have them open just a tad before I slide my tongue into your mouth. Our tongues feverish for each other. Tangled, wet, eager. The need to be in each other’s skin would make us forget where we are and who is watching. Because in the end it’s just going to be me and you.” I lean in, my lips almost touching hers, but instead I move to the side, kissing her cheek. “But I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have.” I step away from her, raise my head, and walk away. Take that. I smile at myself.

“Oh, Noah.” She finally speaks out. “If we weren’t just friends, I would have gotten down on my knees.” She shrugs her shoulders. “Have a great night, friend.” And she gets into her car and drives away, leaving me in the middle of the street, cursing out. Noah - 0, Kaleigh - 1.

I make it home with my cock still up and begging for relief. The cold shower and jacking him off did nothing for him. I crawl into bed, the smell of goat still lingering. My phone bings with a message. I notice it’s a picture from Kaleigh.

This was on the yoga page. Thought you would like it for your screensaver ;)

The picture is of me on my knees with a goat’s face up my ass. I zoom it in and see Kaleigh giggling behind me. You don’t have to zoom in to see my ass cheek clenching.

Thanks for this, but I think I’ll stick to Austin’s swollen balls.

Oh, that’s a good one.

I stare at my phone, wondering how to play this. I’m supposed to be friends with this girl. Yet all I want to say is get your ass over here now. Just the thought has my cock stirring into action. Lifting the cover, I say out loud, “Simmer down. I just took care of you.” I shake my head. I’m going crazy. This chick has me talking to my dick and the worst part is I’m expecting it to talk back to me.

I finally decide to write back.

Night.

That’s what a friend would do, right? I turn off the light and end up tossing and turning most of the night. I drag my ass the next day. Gone is the quirky free loving guy. In his place is a grouchy, unused cock. When the hot new red-haired receptionist smiles at me the only thing that happens is a grunt. A fucking grunt.

“Whoa, who pissed in your corn flakes?” Harvey asks from behind me. He had gotten off the other elevator.

“I’m just cranky.” I run my hand through my hair.

“You sound like an old married man. You’re single, with no ties at all. You should be standing up shouting ‘I’m the king of the world.’” He smiles, continuing, “This morning I woke up with the biggest case of blue balls. I haven’t had sex this whole month.”

I stand here gawking at him. “The whole month? That’s like thirty days, sometimes thirty-one.”

“Yup, the most action my dick has gotten this month was my daughter kneeing me in the balls.” He shakes his head. “The baby is teething and keeping us up all night. If I’m honest, I’m just so tired that my dick probably wouldn’t even get up.”

My hand goes over my mouth. “Thirty days? Do you?” I motion with my hand the jerking off motion.

“Thirty days, if not more. Who the fuck is counting?”

“Are you sure it can still work?” I point at his crotch as we stand in front of his office.

“It works just fine.” He laughs, taking a sip of his coffee. “Now stop being a cranky bastard and go get some pussy, for all our sakes.” He turns to walk into his office.

I go into my office, sitting at my desk, staring into the sky when my phone beeps.

Are you sore this morning?

The text from Kaleigh has me smiling. Grump is gone with five words.

If only you knew. I answer back while I cup my cock.

It’s probably because you kept tensing up with the goats.

Goats have nothing to do with this pain.

Bhahahah really??? So what ails you?

I’m seriously addicted to this woman and I can’t get her out of my mind.

Noah!! she answers back right away

What? I reply back.

We are supposed to be friends.

Friends can’t discuss other friends’ love lives?

Oh, she replies. I thought.

You thought I was talking about you? That I was talking about us?

Well…

Is all she says before there is a knock on my door. Looking up, I see it’s Norma. “We have all the paperwork drawn up for Sal’s newest venture.” She comes in, placing the file on my desk. “The owners are leaving at four p.m. this afternoon for vacation and would like this settled before then.”

I place my phone down. “Then let’s buckle down and get this contract in order,” I say, taking off my jacket and rolling up my sleeves. “It’s go time.”

I don’t know how long I’m at it, but when the phone rings and buzzes near my hand my head snaps up. I see Austin’s dick greet me. I laugh to myself each time. It’s still funny.

“Yeah,” I say, putting the phone to my ear and circling something that needs to be changed.

“I need you to come and bring me to the impound lot!” Austin yells, but I can barely hear him. Some music is playing in the background. “Shut the fuck up!” he yells.

“Dude, where are you? Are you at the Disney store?” I ask him, looking at my watch, seeing it’s almost two p.m.

“I’m in Lauren’s school bus. She didn’t pay my tickets and now my car has been impounded.”

“See Donkey Kong.”

“I don’t have the time nor the patience to deal with you today. Just come and pick me up.” He blows out a long breath. “This fucking song.”

“What is that?” I ask him.

“Who the fuck knows? The CD is stuck inside and this chick is so fucking angry yet she wants to let it go,” he says, his voice rising higher when she belts out Let it Go at the top of her lungs.

“Okay, I’ll swing by at four so we can get to the yard before it closes.”

He doesn’t even say bye. He just disconnects with a string of curse words. I press the button on my desk phone, asking Norma to have a sandwich delivered. She walks in right away with a brown paper bag.

“This was delivered two hours ago by a tall blonde,” she says, coming to the desk and putting it in front of me.

“What?” I get up, going to the door. “Why didn’t you let me know?”

She smiles at me. “She left it with Samantha, the new receptionist.” She walks to me, tapping my shoulder. “She left a note on the bag.” She walks off while I run back to my desk and see the bag.

Hope you have a baa day! And she drew a sheep. I toss my head back and laugh, opening it up. I find another note. I usually don’t buy meat, but I liked holding your meat! Bhahah.

I sit down and take out the hoagie she left. It’s got every single meat you can think of and it’s the best sandwich I’ve ever eaten.

I send her a quick text.

Thanks for holding my meat.

I wait for her to answer but nothing comes through. By the time I finish eating and finalize the file for Sal, I get to Austin’s office with almost no time to spare. Walking down the hall, I notice that most of the people have already left. Must be a quiet day. When I walk into his office, he’s sitting behind his desk with his head in his hands, looking down at his phone.

“Whoa, dude, who killed your dog?” I ask as I throw myself into the chair in front of his desk.

“I fucked up,” he confesses, looking up and then looking back down at his phone.

“Nothing new there. What happened now?”

“I may have told Lauren that if she weren’t so uptight and she loosened up a little, that maybe her husband wouldn’t have left her and she would still be married.” He doesn’t even finish getting the words out before I’m pulling out my phone. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m making sure I clear my schedule for your funeral,” I joke with him, but it only earns me a glare from him.

“Fuck off, asshole. Let’s go get my car, and then I’ll pass by her house. She has no choice but to answer the door, right?” he asks me as we walk out to the elevator.

I see Barbara come out of her office and head straight for us. Her mouth is pressed together in a tight line. Austin cuts off whatever she’s going to say by holding up his hand and stating, “Not now, Barbara.” He presses the elevator button.

“I think my balls just crawled back into my body, and that look wasn’t even directed at me,” I murmur from beside him as we watch Barbara turn and storm away. “If I were you, I wouldn’t drink or eat anything that anyone else, especially someone who is a female or an employee here, offers you,” I advise him as I follow him into the elevator.

We make it down to the impound lot, where I leave Austin to fill out all the forms and show all his documents in order to get his car out.

I walk to a seat where I take my phone out and see I have about fifteen texts from Kaleigh.

I can’t be friends with you anymore. Your best friend is an asshat.

If he’s an asshat, you’re an asshat.

They usually only hang around together.

Like herding asshats.

I can’t believe I held meat for you!!!

Isn’t it ironic????

Why do you have to be a good-looking asshat?

I lied. You aren’t good-looking, you’re ugly.

I hope you get goat herpes.

I’m going to take lessons in Donkey Kong.

It’s ironic… Rain on your wedding day.

Jesus, fuck me. They are listening to Alanis Morissette. “Maybe you should give her the night to calm down.”

“No, I can’t. I need to see her.” He shakes his head, the look of dread filling his face. “I need to at least tell her I’m sorry.” He pushes past me, getting into his car and taking off. I jog to mine and follow him there. Once he parks, I get out before he can open his door.

“As your friend, I’m going to try to talk you out of this.”

He shakes his head, ignoring me. He gets out of the car and walks to her door.

“This is a really, really bad idea. Women who are pissed can do evil things. I mean, she wasn’t even that pissed at you when she almost made your balls explode.”

“I have to see her,” he says and then knocks on the door. When I hear the locks click open, a smile starts to creep across his face. It’s quickly replaced with a frown when we both see that it’s Kaleigh who opens the door—with what appears to be a machete in her hand. Okay, so maybe not a real machete, but it sure as hell is a knife that looks like it can easily debone a chicken and probably take off a man’s—hopefully not this man’s—hand. She comes outside, closing the door behind her as the sound of Alanis Morissette is playing in the background.

“You have some nerve showing your face here,” she spits out at him. Turning to glare at me, it’s then I notice she’s a bit drunk.

“Is Lauren home?”

I look at him with a confused look on my face. Obviously she’s here. Her car is here.

“She is,” she confirms as she sways a little.

I look a little closer and can tell she’s totally blitzed. Tipsy was an hour ago.

“Whoa, there, little lady.” I wrap an arm around her shoulders to avoid the knife to my dick.

“I need to talk to her,” Austin says, but all I can do is take in the fact that she’s in my arms, she’s soft, she’s perfect, and she’s also still holding that fucking knife.

“Not going to happen. Not now, not ever.” She continues, “You fucked up bad.” She is now pointing the knife at Austin, and her voice is rising. “Really, really bad.”

“Babe, can we put the knife down?” I plead with a smile, and she smiles at me while bashfully giggling. I really fucking like drunk Kaleigh. She pushes her body more into me. We stand here staring at each other.

“Can I please just talk to Lauren for two minutes? Then I’ll leave, I promise,” he practically begs.

She stands up tall and pushes herself away from me. “Nope,” she replies and then turns around, grabbing the door handle and talking to us over her shoulder. “If you’re not gone in two minutes, I’m calling the cops and telling them you’re stalking me.”

He scoffs at that, and she glares at him.

“And show them the inappropriate dick pics you sent me.”

Austin turns to look at me.

I put both hands up. “I may have showed them to her and she might have forwarded a couple of them to herself.”

“Can you please tell her that I was here and ask her to call me? Please, Kaleigh?” He gets in right before she slams the door in our face and flips the locks with loud clicking sounds.

He hangs his head, while I pat him on the back.

“She’ll call.” I try to assure him, but unless hell freezes over… “Or send someone to kill you. I mean, she did say Donkey Kong.”

He shrugs my hand off of him and walks back to his car, while I turn to look at the house and wonder what would happen if I go back and ring the doorbell again. I’m about to take that step right before I hear girls chanting “Ironic” at full volume.

“Yup, tomorrow is another day!”