‘I really am so sorry, Alicia,’ Paul said, his face earnest.

Alicia didn’t answer. She was too stunned.

‘I’m taking up far too much of your time. I know you don’t want to hear about my reasons for not being able to get back to the UK until now, but if there’s anything I can do.’ He smiled kindly. ‘Anything at all…’

Yes, there is, Alicia thought. Please, please leave me alone. ‘No, there isn’t,’ she said quickly, her stomach tight with nerves as she looked past him again in search of Justin, who would be as confounded as she as to why Paul was here.

‘I couldn’t believe it when David told me your news.’ Paul shook his head in commiseration.

David? Alicia tried to think past the chaos of jumbled thoughts in her head. One of Jessica’s old flames. She recalled what Jessica had told her at the party, insisting that, though she’d been quite close to Paul Radley when they’d all worked together, socialising with him along with this David, she hadn’t invited him to the party. He’d apparently arrived with David, who also worked in financial services. Presumably, they were friends. It made sense. But it didn’t make her feel any better about him turning up out of the blue – again.

‘I wanted to call by and pay my respects,’ Paul went on, apparently oblivious to her growing desperation to end the conversation and get back to her family.

His respects? Alicia was doubly stunned at that. He didn’t know the meaning of the word. If he had any respect at all, for anyone, he would not… Her thoughts ground to a halt as her gaze fell on Sophie, who was walking away from the church with Jessica. She couldn’t see Justin. Panic clutched at her stomach. Where on earth was he?

‘Paul, I have to go. My family needs me,’ she repeated firmly, moving past him, now frantically scanning the immediate vicinity of the churchyard, the groups of people heading towards parked cars, preparing to go on to the reception. Where was he? She’d lost sight of him when Jessica had stopped her as they’d filed out of the church.

Hurrying towards Sophie and Jessica, she caught up with them. ‘Sophie, sweetheart…’ Her heart plummeted as Sophie turned towards her, tears now flowing unchecked down her face. ‘It’s all right, baby,’ she said, her voice catching as she pulled her towards her. ‘It’s all right.’

‘It’s not though, Mum, is it? How can it be?’ Sophie mumbled into her shoulder.

‘She doesn’t want to go to the reception.’ Stroking Sophie’s hair, Jessica filled Alicia in. ‘I said she didn’t have to, I hope that’s okay? Justin’s already left, by the way.’

Left? Oh God, no. Because of Paul Radley? ‘When?’ Alicia asked, panic tightening her chest.

‘A few minutes ago. I think he needed to be on his own.’ Jessica met her eyes, an attempt at reassurance in her own, and then glanced past her to Paul Radley, who was walking towards them. ‘I’ve told Sophie she can come and stay with me for a few days, if that’s okay with you. I said I’d take her back to fetch her things.’

Alicia shook her head, bewildered. ‘I should take her,’ she said. ‘I should be with her. With Justin. Is he all right? I mean, did he seem…’ She trailed hopelessly off. Of course he wasn’t all right. How could he be? She looked at her sister in desperation.

Jessica wrapped an arm around her. ‘He’s fine. Well, as fine as he can be. He just needed some time alone,’ she assured her. ‘He’ll probably go on to the reception.’

Alicia searched her face, unconvinced.

‘Why don’t you go straight there,’ Jessica suggested. ‘People will expect to see you. It was Justin’s colleagues who paid for the buffet, after all. At least you can be there in lieu of him until he turns up. I’m sure he will, Ali.’

Alicia hesitated. She should, if only for a short while. Searching Sophie’s face worriedly, she debated her options.

‘I’ll be fine, Mum,’ Sophie said, wiping a black track of mascara sideways across her face. ‘I’d like to go to Jess’s for a few days, to be honest. You know, away from… things at the house.’

Alicia felt her heart wrench inside her. Away from reminders of Luke, she meant, which were far, far too painful for her. ‘As long as you’re sure,’ she said slowly. She couldn’t bear the thought of Sophie being on her own and hurting. How could she let her daughter out of sight of her right now?

Nodding, Sophie smiled weakly.

My beautiful daughter. She had to keep her safe. Had to.

Squeezing her hard, Alicia reluctantly let her go. Reaching to brush her hair from her face, she cupped her cheek with her hand and gently kissed her forehead. It will be all right, baby. It will be. Even as she thought it, Alicia felt the thread snagging, as if her life was already unravelling. ‘I’ll ring you,’ she promised.

‘I’ve called a taxi. Why don’t you get off before everyone starts leaving.’ Jessica suggested.

‘I can give you a lift, if you like?’ Paul offered, standing suddenly by Alicia’s side.

Taken by surprise, Alicia jumped, and then glanced warily at him.

‘No,’ she said quickly, preferring him to have as little contact with her family as possible. ‘Take the funeral car, Jess. I’ll take the taxi.’

‘Are you sure?’ Jessica eyes flicked between her and Paul.

Alicia nodded. ‘I’d be happier knowing Sophie’s left safely with you,’ she assured her, hoping her sister would get the message.

‘Okay,’ Jess said, looking a little reluctant. ‘Watch what you’re doing, Ali.’ Giving her a firm hug, she slid an arm around Sophie’s waist and led her on towards the car.

Her heart going into freefall, Alicia blinked her own tears back, determined to hold herself together, to harness the strength to try to hold her family together. She had to.

‘The offer still stands,’ Paul said, as Jessica and Sophie headed off. ‘My car’s just over there.’ He nodded towards it. It will save you waiting around for a taxi.’

Hesitant to go anywhere with him, Alicia tried to read his expression. His dark eyes were intent, determined. His smile, though, was sympathetic – no innuendo, she noted, somewhat calmed.

Guardedly, she nodded. It would be a chance to talk to him alone, perhaps her only chance, and she needed to. She had no choice but to. She had to find out what he wanted and then get him out of her life, out of Justin’s and Sophie’s lives, whatever it took.

‘Good,’ he said, leading the way. ‘It’s the least I can do, after all.’

Alicia followed him, bemused by the fact that he didn’t seem to realise the least he could do was to stay away from her, from her family.

‘Do you want to give me the address?’ he said, once they’d climbed into his car.

Alicia gave him the details, and then waited while he fiddled with the satnav.

‘Bear with me.’ He smiled in frustration. ‘It’s a rental car. I’m not quite sure where everything is yet.’

The address finally entered, Alicia looked out of the window as they drove slowly out of the cemetery. She wouldn’t talk to him here, where she’d just laid her beautiful, innocent baby to rest. It would be a desecration of his memory to even begin to discuss something that would hurt his father so badly.

Bye, little Lucas. Mummy will be back soon, sweetheart. Alicia closed her eyes as they passed through the gates, feeling afresh the wound in her chest where a piece of her heart had gone with him.

Ten minutes. She swallowed, calculating the time she must spend with Paul Radley until they reached the hotel, then steeled herself and turned towards him. ‘Why are you here, Paul?’ she asked him. Though calm on the outside, her emotions were in turmoil.

Paul glanced at her and then back to the road. ‘On holiday,’ he said, repeating what he’d told her at the party. ‘Looks like it’s going to be a bit of an extended stay now though.’

Alicia’s heart sank. ‘Oh, how so?’ she asked, bracing herself for what he might say.

‘I’ve been offered a contract to stay and head up some investment seminars by Graham & Young Investments.’ Paul turned again to look at her, his gaze lingering this time. ‘Obviously, they value my expertise. Just a short-term contract,’ he went on, smiling inscrutably and looking back to the road. ‘I should be on my way back to Dubai fairly shortly.

‘Okay?’ he asked her kindly, a second later, as Alicia wiped away another tear, this time one of relief.