Finally, Jessica thought, tearing the note of the address Justin had given her from the pad and slipping it safely into her handbag. He was a typical man, bottling up his emotions, trying to be macho when his poor heart was steadily breaking. But he’d reached the point where he needed to share, and she would be there for him.

She wouldn’t tell Alicia, obviously. She had brought it all on herself, but she was utterly devastated, poor soul. She’d come home soaked through to the skin and covered in mud. Jessica’s supposed-to-be-amusing quip about her having been rolling around with a rugby team hadn’t raised even the smallest of smiles. Quite the opposite, in fact. She handed her their usual cure-all cup of tea, and Alicia had promptly burst into tears.

Pouring herself a glass of wine, Jessica supposed she ought to go up and check on her. She’d been worried she’d drowned herself in the bath at one point. Now, since she hadn’t heard a peek from her – not so much as the squeak of a floorboard since Alicia had gone to her bedroom – she was worrying she might have taken more than the one sleeping tablet she’d suggested might help her rest.

Five minutes later, a tray in her hands, Jessica nudged the spare bedroom door handle down. ‘Only me,’ she said quietly, in case Alicia was sleeping, and then went on in.

Oh, not sleeping then. She saw her sister silhouetted against the window. What on earth was she doing standing there in only her skimpy pyjamas? She’d catch her death of cold after coming home soaking wet. She really was a worry.

‘Ali?’ she said, placing the tray on the dressing table. ‘Are you all right, sweetie?’

Alicia didn’t answer. She simply continued to stare up at the stars, as if looking for the answer to the universe.

Uh-oh. She was swaying on her feet, Jessica noted, her gaze shooting to the bedside table and an almost empty bottle of wine. Oh dear, it looked like Alicia was attempting to anaesthetise the pain again – as if alcohol ever could, particularly if you didn’t partake on a regular basis. And Alicia didn’t. Or at least she hadn’t for a very long time. Obviously, she’d snuck the bottle up in her bag. She really ought to let Justin know about this, Jessica thought. Alicia obviously wasn’t coping at all.

Sighing, Jessica went across and placed an arm around her. ‘What are you doing, sweetheart?’ she asked kindly. ‘You know drinking doesn’t help anything. It only ever brings things into sharp focus.’

‘It doesn’t,’ Alicia said, reluctant to let go of the glass Jessica was attempting to prise from her hand. ‘It just makes everything more fuddled.’

‘Muddled,’ Jessica corrected her, steering her gently away from the window.

‘Blurry.’ Jessica nodded, allowing herself to be led to the bed. ‘It’s like there’s two voices in my head. One’s saying, “Stop doubting yourself.” And the other one’s saying—’

‘You’ve drunk too much, Alicia. You really shouldn’t—’

‘Exactly.’ Alicia plopped down. And swayed. ‘I’m a lush. A drunken slush. Someone who gets para… paral… as drunk as a fish and then throws herself at the nearest man.’

Oh God. Jessica sighed again, heavily. Now she was slurring her words. ‘A skunk, Ali.’

‘Sorry?’ Alicia closed one eye and looked at her askew.

‘It’s as drunk as a skunk or drinks like a… never mind.’ Jessica smiled tolerantly. ‘Come on, tuck up under the duvet and have a nice sleep, why don’t you? I’ve brought you some toast.’ She tried to tempt her in hopes of getting something down her to soak up the alcohol. ‘You’ll feel better for a bite to eat and a nice cup of tea.’

‘No. Uh-uh.’ Alicia shook her head and got unsteadily to her feet. ‘I’m going on Facebook.’

Jessica watched, perplexed, as Alicia groped for her phone and jabbed randomly at it. ‘Do you think I am?’ She looked back to Jessica after a second, her eyes slightly unfocussed and full of uncertainty. ‘A drunken trollop, I mean. I bet Justin thinks I am. Do you think I am, Jess?’

Definitely worried now, Jessica felt her heart sink. She didn’t want her going gaga on her. Justin was bound to ask how she was and she could hardly lie to him about that. He might well talk to Alicia. She couldn’t tell him she was fine if she wasn’t. ‘No, Ali, I don’t think you’re a trollop. And neither do you. It’s just the drink, lovely. It’s making you emotional.’

‘Justin will think I am though, won’t he?’ A tear spilling down her cheek, Alicia went back to her phone. ‘So, c’est la vie.’ She shrugged and tried to focus on the screen. ‘I might as well live up to my reputation, mightn’t I?’

‘Right.’ Jessica heaved in a breath. ‘Alicia, what are you doing exactly?’ she asked, as Alicia continued to squint at her phone.

‘Picking up a man,’ Alicia supplied, with a determined nod, which was completely at odds with the tears now streaming down her face.

‘From Facebook?’ Shaking her head, Jessica eyed the ceiling. ‘I think you need a bit more practice, sweetie,’ she said, reaching to ease the phone from her hand as Alicia plopped back down on the bed – and almost missed it.

Damn. Jessica swallowed as a thought occurred. ‘You haven’t taken the sleeping tablet I gave you, have you?’ she asked worriedly.

Wiping her hand under her nose, Alicia shook her head. ‘No,’ she said, her voice full of anguish. ‘They make me feel ill in the mornings.’

Thank God for that. Jessica blew out a sigh of relief. Having to ring Justin in his medical capacity to tell him his wife was popping pills and washing them down with wine wasn’t something she would have relished doing. Then again, should she tell him, for Alicia’s sake?

‘You need to lie down, Alicia,’ she said firmly, as her sister leaned precariously to one side, ‘before you fall down.’

Encouraging her to lie back, Jessica played mother – not that it was a role she wanted right now. ‘There we go,’ she said, making sure her feet were in and then fluffing up her pillows and tugging up the duvet.

Flicking on the bedside lamp, she fetched the tray and offered her the toast.

‘I can’t, Jess.’ Alicia shook her head, looking a little green around the gills. ‘I’m sorry.’

Jessica huffed inwardly. She had her hair to wash and her nails to do. She didn’t want to be playing nursemaid half the night. ‘All right,’ she relented. ‘But you have to promise to eat something in the morning. You need to stay strong for your family.’

The last came out a little more stridently than she’d intended, and Jessica felt a bit guilty as she watched another tear slide down her sister’s cheek.

‘Come on, Ali,’ she said, holding on to her patience and smoothing her hair away from her face. ‘Things will look better in the morning.’

‘Do you think?’ Alicia emitted a strangulated laugh at that.

Jessica actually didn’t think they would. And Alicia would definitely be feeling ill after drinking that lot on top of no food. She did hope she wasn’t going to have a complete breakdown. Her eyes were bloodshot, red-rimmed and, frankly, looked like two peepholes in the snow against her pallid complexion. She’d lost an awful lot of weight – Jessica felt the tiniest bit peeved about that, having been struggling to lose even a pound over the last two weeks. She’d barely uttered a word since she got back, and when she did speak it was distractedly, with a glazed, faraway look in her eye.

Jessica sat with her a while. When, at last, Alicia’s eyelids finally grew heavy, Jessica was hugely relieved. She had things to do.