Justin had been like a cat on hot bricks. He was trying to keep his emotions under control, for Sophie’s sake, but he was pacing endlessly, breathing slowly, trying to stay calm. He was concerned, as he obviously would be, that DI Taylor’s visit was to do with what had happened to Paul Radley.

‘Are you warm enough, sweetheart?’ Alicia asked Sophie, who’d gone quiet, also anticipating DI Taylor’s visit with apprehension, for her own reasons. Alicia knew she would be struggling with her own confused emotions – guilt being one of them. She just hoped Sophie would be able to talk more about how she was feeling as time went on, that she would realise she – and Justin, in particular – understood.

Sitting in the middle of the sofa, her legs tucked under herself and a faraway look in her eyes, Alicia guessed Sophie was going over things now, the chain of events since the day her dear baby brother had died, as they all would for a long time to come. Alicia made a mental note to try to encourage her to put the bad memories behind her and cherish the good ones, the time she did have with Lucas, as Alicia and Justin would try to alongside her.

She would never truly be able to forgive herself for her naivety in imagining the whole mess would go away the day Paul Radley had. That he wouldn’t come back to haunt her. She’d never dreamed it would be her daughter he would haunt. If she had… But it was too late for that now. She would die to undo it, but she couldn’t. All she could do was be there for her daughter.

‘Sophie? Are you all right, sweetheart?’ She reached to squeeze her hand.

Sophie nodded again, and then looked worriedly towards Justin, who was gazing out of the window.

‘It’s probably just a routine call,’ Alicia tried to reassure her. ‘Don’t fret too much about it, Sophie. You’re not obliged to talk about anything unless you want to.’

Sophie smiled distractedly at her, and then turned her attention back to Justin. ‘Dad? ‘What’s up?’ she asked him, clearly feeling his anxiety too.

Alicia followed her gaze to where Justin was still standing at the window.

‘Dad?’

‘What?’ Justin turned around, looking preoccupied. ‘Oh, sorry, Pumpkin.’ He dragged a hand over his neck, smiled tiredly and came towards her. ‘I was miles away.’

‘I gathered,’ Sophie said, her forehead furrowed with worry. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ Justin said, glancing quickly at Alicia. ‘That is…’ He took a breath and sat down next to Sophie. ‘There is something I need to tell you before Taylor turns up. You too, Alicia.’

Noticing the nervous look in his eyes, Alicia swallowed hard, feeling hot and clammy suddenly, as she imagined what he might be about to say.

‘Dad, what?’ Sophie urged him, looking as wary as Alicia felt.

Justin took hold of Sophie’s hand, twisting around to make sure he had full-on eye contact with her, which sent a fresh wave of apprehension down Alicia’s spine. ‘I need you to know that I’ve loved you from birth, Sophie,’ he said firmly. ‘And before that, when you were just a tiny heartbeat on the monitor.’

He looked again at Alicia, whose heart was now thudding frantically. His expression was deadly serious. It was bound to be, under the circumstances, but Alicia prayed he wasn’t about to announce something that would rock Sophie’s world further. Her world. They needed him, both of them, now more than ever, if they were going to get through this.

‘There was never a second I didn’t love you,’ Justin went on. ‘There will never be. No matter what the future may bring.’

Justin hesitated, glancing briefly at Alicia.

‘Dad, what do you mean “no matter what the future may bring”? You’re starting to scare me.’

Justin took a breath. ‘I, er…’ he started, and stopped. ‘If I should have to go away for any reason…’

Now Sophie looked extremely nervous. ‘Away, as in something work related?’ she asked, doubt clouding her eyes.

‘Possibly.’ Justin’s gaze flicked again towards Alicia and then back to Sophie

‘Like fictitious conferences because you don’t want to be here?’ Sophie attempted to pull away from him.

‘What?’ Justin looked confused, then, ‘No,’ he said quickly. ‘God, no. I’d rather be here than anywhere. I’m not even sure I’ll need to go away yet. I just wanted you to know that my love for you never wavered, Sophie. It never will. I needed you to know that, that’s all.’

He squeezed her hand, took another long breath and waited.

Sophie’s gaze travelled between her parents. ‘So you’re not telling me you two are going to split up then?’ she asked him suspiciously, the anxious look now in her eyes almost splitting Alicia’s heart in two.

‘No, Sophie, we are definitely not going to split up,’ Justin said adamantly. ‘I’m… not doing this very well, am I?’ He eyed the ceiling, despairing of himself. ‘I was simply trying to tell you that no matter where you are, how old you are, where I might be, that I’ll always be there for you. And you will always be right here.’

Pressing a hand to his heart, he smiled encouragingly. ‘Both of you,’ he said, reaching for Alicia’s hand.

Alicia looked at him, emotion climbing inside her. She knew what he was trying to say, and why he’d needed to say it now, before DI Taylor arrived: he thought he might not be around to afterwards. ‘I love you,’ she mouthed, squeezing his hand hard. And I will, always, whatever the future may bring.

Looking somewhat reassured, Justin nodded and turned back to Sophie. ‘Sorry I scared you, Pumpkin,’ he said. ‘I’ll try not to be so clumsy in the delivery of my next emotional speech. I’ll write it on my cuff or—’ He stopped as the doorbell rang, his gaze shooting fearfully towards Alicia.

Alicia didn’t need to see the police car outside to know who it was. Was DI Taylor accompanied by uniformed officers, she wondered, steeling herself for whatever news he’d come to deliver.

‘I’ll get it,’ Justin said, getting quickly to his feet. Alicia guessed from his steely expression that he was also readying himself for bad news.