Coming into work had been a bad idea. If not for the little girl on her caseload who’d rung in claiming her father had deliberately burned her, she wouldn’t have. How could the mother have blamed the child, she wondered, bewilderedly. How could she have demanded that the child be removed from the family home, rather than the father, even after the hospital had concluded the injuries were non-accidental? Looking away from the manager who was heading the team meeting, Alicia swiped away a tear.

She couldn’t do this any more, she realised. How could she hope to remain detached, to try to hold families together – which had been her naive reason for wanting to do this in the first place – when she’d been responsible for tearing her own family apart? When her own daughter was missing? She’d often felt upset after the type of visit she’d had today, but this time she’d been devastated. She’d rushed straight from her car to the toilets, where she’d locked herself in a cubicle and sobbed her heart out.

She wasn’t any help to anyone like this, least of all the children. They needed someone who was level-headed, and strong enough to fight back for them.

Lost in her thoughts, her heart leapt in her chest when her phone buzzed. Justin, she realised, her pulse racing – though in a very different way to how it always had whenever he’d texted her before. Grabbing up her bag, she mouthed an apology to the manager and hurried towards the office exit, collecting her coat as she went.

Clutching her coat around her against the cutting wind, her thoughts immediately going to Sophie and how cold she might be, Alicia made her way to where Justin had said he’d parked and scoured the road, left and right. It was only when he flashed his lights that she remembered he wasn’t driving his own car any more, which had been written off the day their baby boy had died.

A crushing wave of grief washing over her, Alicia closed her eyes, working hard to compose herself before heading towards him. She felt as if she were hanging on by her fingernails, but she couldn’t let go in front of him. She knew that would only compromise him into offering her comfort he couldn’t possibly want to.

Sliding into the passenger seat, her heart missed a beat as she looked Justin over. He looked dreadful: unshaven, exhausted, his eyes those of a haunted man.

‘How are you?’ he asked her awkwardly.

She had no way to answer. ‘Getting through the days,’ she said, turning forwards as Justin fixed his gaze on the windscreen. He still couldn’t look her in the eye. Alicia didn’t blame him. She couldn’t look herself in the eye.

‘Have you spoken to him?’ he asked after a second, resting his hands on the steering wheel.

Alicia swallowed. ‘Yes,’ she said, and took a deep breath, bracing herself to tell him what she desperately didn’t want to. Lies hadn’t kept him safe. She had no idea how she’d ever hoped they would.

Justin simply nodded. ‘Do you think he might have been touch with her?’

‘I don’t know,’ Alicia answered honestly. ‘I think not, from the things he said. He hadn’t spoken to Sophie before she left. I’m not even sure he knows she’s missing.’

Justin ran his thumbs pensively along the steering wheel. ‘You’re not having in-depth conversations then?’ There was a sarcastic edge to his voice.

Alicia’s heart dipped an inch lower, if that were possible. ‘No,’ she said simply. To try to explain would mean to explain everything, and Justin had given her no indication he wanted to hear it. ‘I texted him this morning.’ On the back of what he’d said, she had no choice but to contact him. For Sophie’s sake, he’d said. She’d gone over it and over it. She thought he’d been talking about Sophie’s future, but there’d been something in his tone that she couldn’t quite figure out… ‘To ask him whether he’d been in contact with her,’ she went on. ‘He didn’t answer.’

Justin glanced at her, his expression a mixture of wariness and surprise.

‘His voicemail said he was at a one-day conference. I confirmed it with his office. He seems to be behaving perfectly normally.’

Again, Justin nodded. ‘You know where he works then?’ There was that sarcastic edge again to his tone, though now clouded with weary resignation.

‘Jessica knew, through her friend, David,’ she supplied, wanting to soften the blow she was about to deliver; knowing she couldn’t possibly. She’d never before reached a place where she’d thought life wasn’t worth living. Now, whenever she dozed, in the hours between the thin light of dawn and daylight – the only hours that sleep allowed her some escape – she would open her eyes to the harsh truth of an existence without the people she loved, and she simply didn’t want to be in this reality any more. If not for Sophie, for the further pain she would cause Justin, she doubted she would be.

‘There’s something I have to tell you,’ she said, feeling physically sick at the thought of delivering another knife wound to his chest. ‘Something he told me.’

Justin didn’t respond, stilling his hands on the wheel and seeming to brace himself instead.

‘He said he’d had a paternity test.’ There was no way to soften the news that would surely crush him. She waited, praying, futilely. How would he not be destroyed?

Justin didn’t react immediately. And then, shaking his head, he emitted a short, scornful laugh. ‘And he’s had the results?’ he asked, his tone flat.

‘I believe so, yes.’ Her throat tight, Alicia looked away. If he looked at her now, if she saw what was in his eyes, she would crumble. ‘He threatened to tell you,’ she whispered, using her sleeve to wipe her eyes, rather than delve into her bag for a tissue. ‘Or at least he hinted he would, so yes, I suppose he must.’

‘Threatened?’ She felt Justin turn to her. ‘To what end?’ He sounded incredulous, confused.

Alicia hesitated. ‘I’m not sure,’ she said, not knowing how to share her suspicions with her husband.

‘Because he wants future contact with her?’ Justin’s voice rose. ‘The daughter he’s had no contact with whatsoever, and who is now missing?’

Feeling sick to her very soul, Alicia pressed a hand to her forehead. She had to talk to him, properly. She couldn’t undo the lie she’d told, but she had to talk to him, try to explain. ‘I don’t think that’s his reason, no,’ she said guardedly.

Justin didn’t say anything – nothing at all – staring straight ahead instead.

Alicia looked towards him. His face was taut and white, a tell-tale twitch tugging at his cheek. ‘Justin,’ she started, ‘I know you won’t want to hear it, but—’

‘I need to go,’ he said tersely, and started the engine. ‘You might want to tell him to have a rethink.’