Chapter 7
When I open my eyes, Khazaar has disappeared.
I get out of bed with considerable effort. My legs are shaking. I stagger to the shower. I know the sex “only” happened in my head, but I don’t want to take the chance of Varsul showing up and smelling what Khazaar and I have been up to. I don’t understand these out-of-body experiences nearly well enough yet, so better safe than sorry.
But Varsul doesn’t show his face. Shazuul comes in, instead.
He is in a good mood, and stretches his sucking snout out towards me, demanding his reward. In his long arms he holds a piece of paper, and on it is a series of numbers. I would love to know how and from whom he managed to get the code, but one look at the red stripes covering his body tells me everything I need to know.
Now I only have two choices. Either I deny him his payment, or I grant him a sip, and get him to come back again later. Khazaar was right. It’s a dangerous game, in which I have to count on being able to hold Shazuul back, somehow.
I am shaking. What is about to happen awakens the worst memories in me. The internment camps – I push my thoughts of the past to the side and force myself back into the here and now. I fall to my knees and offer Shazuul my neck. The sting doesn’t hurt, but the mere thought of his sucking snout boring into my skin is enough to make my stomach churn. The smacking sounds don’t help. My fear of not being able to step out of my body, in order to get in Shazuul’s head, paralyzes me. Limited experience and the pressure of this life-and-death situation only add to the already tense situation.
The snout buries painlessly into my skin. I finally manage to get into Shazuul’s head, where the fright I get from feeling his passion as he drinks, almost makes me leave. What he is feeling during the feeding is like what humans feel during sex. No wonder they let go of any inhibition. What is even more interesting is that I can see myself clearly. The fact that Khazaar and I were together shortly before this, is making this meal even more tasty for Shazuul, and he is learning things about me, while drinking, that I would have rather kept to myself. Being able to experience my feelings and emotions more or less secondhand through him, mirrored in his being, is so fascinating that I almost forget to stop him. Just in time, I whisper enough, and the most amazing thing happens – he stops drinking.
I slip back into my body, fast as lightning, and am myself again. He has taken enough of me to leave me dizzy. This does not raise any concerns for me, but it does make it hard for me to concentrate. “More?” Shazuul asks in his raspy voice, and I tilt my head to show him that I am thinking about it. I don’t dare try to stand up, because, at the first sign of weakness, the Sethari would overpower me and suck me dry. Of that I am sure.
“Under one condition,” I say slowly, as if I were still thinking about it. “One hour before we are to land on Betania, you will meet me here.” I don’t dare tell him about the alarm. I have been forced to trust him this far by accepting the code he has given me, but I will not tell him about the planned sabotage. His race cares only about having the advantage, and if I tell him too much, he will betray me to his superiors. Of that I am also sure.
“You will bring me to the prisoners,” I offer. “Then you can have more of my energy.” I am not imagining the greedy flash in his eyes. He nods eagerly, and disappears out the door without another word.
I am alone.
Time seems to stand still, especially since I have no idea how long I will have to wait. Exhaustion and excitement are battling inside me, but my nervous energy eventually wins the battle. Over and over again, I startle awake after dozing off, until the world seems to flash before my eyes. Even then, I still I can’t fall asleep. My heart is beating much too loudly and irregularly. I review the plan over and over. At some point, it dawns on me that Khazaar said, “I will sabotage the ship.” How in the world will he do that? To be honest, I can’t imagine that he could turn any screws while in spirit form. It occurs to me that his conspirator is going to set him free so he can damage the ship. I force myself to follow that thought to its logical conclusion.
Khazaar gets out of his cell and manages to get to the – machine room? Technical room? It doesn’t really matter. He sabotages the ship. The alarm goes off. Khazaar is still far away from the prison wing, where we are supposed to meet. In contrast to me, a warrior of the Qua’Hathri running around the space ship, even during the chaos, will definitely draw attention to himself. So how is he planning to get back to me in time, so we can escape together?
Damn exhaustion. I can’t think! I know I am overlooking something, but I can’t tell what it is. My thoughts are caught in a vicious cycle of worry and even more worry.
Shazuul shows up when I least expect it. No sooner than he opens the door, the alarm starts blaring through the entire ship. Something like anxiety flashes across his face and then disappears again. He makes an inviting gesture with his long-fingered hand, and that is all I need to follow him down the hallway.
It’s eerily empty here. Shazuul leads the way, checking constantly to see if I am following. A droning, followed by a vibration, spreads through the ship. Am I imagining it, or are we listing to one side? Shazuul stops at a junction in the hallways and points up. I don’t see anything other than a grate that is probably hiding an air shaft. He pushes a button that is flush with the wall. The shaft opens and a ladder drops down. Shazuul gives me an impatient push towards the ladder.
“Am I supposed to go up there? Into the shaft?”
He nods. “Many Sethari on the way,” he says, and I understand. He has thought of a way to get me to our destination without being noticed. Maybe he isn’t as simple as I had thought. I stare into the dark hole. I am not terrified of small, dark spaces, but I don’t really feel the need to be in them while the huge space ship makes an emergency landing, either. Shazuul grows impatient, reaches for my ankle and sets my foot on the first step.
Fine. “But nothing stupid, do you understand?” I warn him. I would prefer if he led the way, so I could keep an eye on him. Clearly, he is thinking the same thing about me, because he insists emphatically that I be the first to go up into the darkness. “How am I supposed to know which way to go?” I ask him. Even for this he has an answer ready. He sticks out his right arm and clicks his tongue once. Then he sticks out his left and clicks twice.
I am fresh out of excuses. With a determined sigh, if there even is such a thing, I start climbing up the steps. Shazuul follows me nimbly. When he pulls the grate shut behind him, we are in absolute darkness. How am I supposed to know where to turn right or left? On top of it all, the shaft is not only so cramped that I have to crawl forward on my belly, but it is also unbearably hot. After a few minutes, my shirt is soaked through, and my hair is hanging wet in my eyes. Even my panties are soaked with sweat. The ancient dust that has collected up here cakes my eyes and nose shut. But since it doesn’t matter if I can see, I try to ignore the burning behind my eyelids and work my way forward slowly.
Shazuul seems to know the way. Right before we reach a junction in the shaft, he gives me directions. Obediently, I crawl right and left until I have the feeling we are going in circles. Once, his sucking snout feels me up from behind, and in my panic, I want to kick him away, but then I notice that he is just trying to steer me in the right direction – I must have been so deep in thought that I didn’t hear his clicking sounds.
The smell of old urine and excrement grows stronger, and I know we must be nearing the prison wing. Sure enough, we turn one last time, and now, when I look through a ventilation grate, I can see a cell in which the women are huddled together in fear. I push on the grate and drop down. The sound I make when I land on the floor makes all of them turn toward me. The silence is deafening until it is replaced with their begging. “Get me out of here!” I hear, and then also a cry for help that is cut short by a sob: “I don’t want to die.”
Shazuul manages to convey his disapproval as he climbs comfortably down the ladder. Ignoring him, I lurch towards the first cell and enter the code. Damn it! I must have mistyped, because the door does not open. Instead, the floor starts to glow underneath the prisoners’ feet. Even out here, I can feel the fiery heat radiating from the floor. This must be a precaution the Sethari have put in place to prevent rescue attempts like this one.
Desperate, I block out the smell of burning flesh and the screams for help. I enter the code again, and throw a searching glance through the prison wing. As I had suspected, there is no trace of Khazaar.
Shazuul is standing behind me. His sucking snout is resting against my neck, without boring into my skin, like an admonishing reminder. Against my will, I have to admit that he has held up his end of the bargain. Even more, he is waiting until I have opened all of the doors. As the women crowd into the hallway, I have to make a decision. The servants who had secured Varsul’s revolt are also locked up. Should I save them, too? Without question, I will set Khazaar’s warriors free. They can help him, even if they are visibly exhausted from the agony of imprisonment. Despite their state, they manage to make their way over to the women, and without mincing words, they start to look for an escape path.
Nobody, not a single man or woman, shows any concern for me or the Sethari who won’t leave my side, even for a second. I try to keep my resentment in check by telling myself that the imprisonment has robbed them of their humanity, or in the case of the Qua’Hathri, has robbed them of their sympathy. Those who are incarcerated for a long time lose more than just their dignity.
One of Khazaar’s men discovers a hallway leading to the unknown. Quickly, he runs down it, while we all wait anxiously. In the meantime, I decide that it would not be right to leave the servants to their fate, and open their doors, as well. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the scout return and motion for everyone to follow him. I turn to Shazuul.
Now it’s time to pay my debt.