Chapter 6
My day isn’t over yet, not by a long shot.
Hathura is waiting for me in the garden. The servant, who tended to me on my first evening here, leads me to the small pool. Zeyliv’s main wife is lying naked, just as God made her, in the pool. She smiles at me. Then Mangali arrives, too, and throws her clothes on the ground without giving them a second thought. The servant gathers the clothes, and tries to undress me, but I refuse. I can undress myself, thank you very much, no matter how tired I am. When the three of us are in the pool, and the warm water is washing all around us, Hathura dismisses the woman. We are alone.
Before long, they broach the subject that is weighing on their hearts. “What are you doing with Zeyliv?” Mangali asks bluntly. Her friendliness has disappeared, and I can also see a hard expression in Hathura’s eyes that wasn’t there before. They both are in great fear for their positions, and I don’t blame them. After seeing how women are treated here on Betania, I can only imagine what the loss of Zeyliv’s favor would mean for them.
But then I realize that there is more to this conversation than I had assumed at first. When I respond that I am not doing anything with Zeyliv, Mangali clenches her fists, and Hathura scoots closer to me. She puts her arms around my shoulders. This is not meant to be a friendly hug between two women. It is definitely a threatening gesture. As I said, I can understand their fear, but enough is enough. I decide the best thing I can to defend myself is to slip into Hathura’s head. So I jump in there without warning. I am furious because they refuse to believe me, and I want her to notice my presence. Recklessly, I trample around in her head, and open drawers, so to say, and throw a passing glance at her looking at me. Slowly, I get closer to her secret. Everyone has things they would rather keep to themselves. In Hathura’s case, it isn’t easy to find hers, because she has buried it so deep that she hardly even believes in it herself.
I see a boy who is about 11 years old. His triangular face has a closed off look, like many other boys his age who are nearing puberty. I see him through Hathura’s eyes, how he twists himself free from her motherly embrace, and frowns. He asks her impatiently when his soul animal will finally show itself, and she answers that he should be praying that this won’t happen for a long time, instead. And then I see what she is hiding from everyone, even from herself. The child isn’t Zeyliv’s son. The day on which his soul animal will show itself will also be the day that she dies for treason, because the child’s father has a lizard-like soul animal.
Everyone will know. And now I know her secret.
I flee from her head and am in my body again. Hathura mouth is hanging open, and I almost feel sorry for her. Almost childishly, I think, well she started it, but then I pull myself together. Her huge, dark eyes give me a pleading look, and I nod imperceptibly. Not even Mangali knows. Especially Mangali can’t suspect anything, since Hathura replaced her as the main wife.
Now Hathura also knows my hidden side. She has pulled back to the edge of the pool, and her face is frozen in fear. Mangali, who didn’t notice my short attack, furrows her brow in a question. With significant effort, Zeyliv’s unfaithful main wife pulls herself together. “I believe you when you say that you’re not after Zeyliv,” she says. Mangali looks even more surprised than before, but doesn’t say anything. “However, your presence is causing nothing but turmoil. What are you doing when you are in that room together?” She knows what we’re doing, but she needs to pretend to be clueless to save face.
I improvise, but again, I try to stay as close to the truth as possible. “I am helping him with administering justice,” I say. Somehow, this is true, anyway. “I have learned to interpret body language, and Zeyliv is using this skill to give just verdicts.”
“Then you are responsible for Cassiantha and Merthor having to flee,” Mangali observes. Her voice has taken on a disgusted tone.
I look at her closely. “You know what her husband has done to her,” I say.
They nod.
“Then you also know that fleeing is their only chance,” I whisper. They are both so tense, that they don’t even think to ask the deciding question: How do you know about Cassiantha’s husband, when you’ve only been here a few days? I continue quickly, in order to leave the delicate moment behind us. “I hope both of them make it,” and put all of my emotion into it.
Mangali shakes her head. “Then you don’t know everything, after all,” she says. Now, her voice has a hideous quality to it, but at the same time, she sounds desperate. “They were found in the jungle. He cut her throat and then killed himself. They chose death over being separated from each other.”
She stands up. “You disgust me, and I don’t trust you.” In all over her naked glory she seems as unapproachable as a goddess. There is nothing I can say in response, so I just keep my mouth shut, even if it’s hard. Mangali gives the other woman a prompting look, but Hathura shakes her head and stays next to me. I sigh, because I know what is going to happen next. As soon as we are alone, she will threaten me.
But something completely different happens.
After Mangali is finally gone, there is a tense silence between us. I break it first. I have never been good at keeping quiet. “Help me find my husband,” I whisper. “That’s all I am asking for.”
“How am I supposed to do that? Those who were chosen for work in the mines are already there and out of reach. All others are waiting somewhere else underground for the slave market. The market will be in four days.”
“Is there no way to be able to see them? I swear to you, I just want to see with my own eyes if he survived and if he is okay.” Her face turns soft as she answers me.
“I would have helped you, if you hadn’t found my secret,” she says, and I believe her. She usually hides behind a brick wall, but the woman who had pulled me pityingly to her chest when I arrived all banged up, is still there.
“I will never reveal your secret, even if you don’t help me.” I mean it. Not only have I created enough misery, but the death of the two lovers will be on my conscience for the rest of my life. “But maybe you help me after all,” I suggest, and look her straight in the eyes. “Do you have access to the prisoners? Is there a plausible reason why you might need to go there?”
She thinks for a moment, and slips lower into the water. “I could say that I need a new girl, maybe a second servant or another kitchen maid. Nobody would dare question my wishes. That is one of the undeniable perks of being the ruler’s main wife.
I feel a small spark of hope when I look at her and explain my plan. Zeyliv may not know that my spirit can separate from my body and wander around, but Shazuul may have told him, after all. I have no way of knowing which precautionary measures he may have taken to prevent me from roaming around. But I might be able to do it hidden in Hathura’s head.
“The only question is when we will do this,” she interjects. “I assume that, even with your skills, you can’t be in two places at the same time, right?”
I understand what she means right away. If Zeyliv needs me tomorrow, then I won’t be able to go with her. We need to time this just right to avoid arousing suspicion. I am sure she would draw attention to herself, if she went down to the slaves in the middle of the night.
“I also need to tell Zeyliv that I need a new girl,” she continues. It shouldn’t be a problem on a night like tonight. He has asked for my services, and that always puts him in a good mood. I will do my best to satisfy him.
I swallow, just thinking about her selling her body just for me. But that’s not quite true, either. She is also doing it to protect her son. “What will you do when your secret comes out?” I ask. There is a feeling of trust between us, and I feel like I have made a friend.
She smiles sadly. “Look death in the eye and die with dignity.” She is absolutely serious.
“Is there no way for you to get away from here?” My thoughts are running in all directions at once, imagining all of us fleeing from here. It must be my tenth escape plan in as many days. At least it feels that way.
She shakes her head firmly. “I might be able to, but Zirkhan – I would never be able to get him from the boys’ quarters long enough to escape.” She rises, slowly and gracefully, and climbs out of the pool. Wet as she is, she wraps her white garment around herself. “I have to go now,” she explains. “Otherwise someone might become wary.”
My day is coming to a close, as well. Like Hathura, I wrap my dress around myself. It hangs from me like a tent, but I don’t care. When I get to my room, I see the now worthless list on my bed.
Zeyliv kept his word.