Chapter 32
JESSE TOOK A BAG from his pocket and pulled out a set of weird shaped beads on a string. He passed them to the baby. “He’s cutting a few molars right now. This gives him something to chew on and helps with the pain,” he explained to Jared. “Thanks,” Jared said. “How’s that, big guy? That make it all better?” he asked the baby.
Holly’s heart melted watching him care for their son. Jacob put an arm around Holly.
“You’ve been busy while you were away. Assassins, babies, AMAN. What else are we missing?” Jacob asked.
“So much, Jacob. You have no idea,” she admitted.
Charlie made a command decision to take the reunion up to the bunker. Doc was checking Jared over, ensuring his balance was good enough to carry the baby safely. Hearing their conversation, Jesse volunteered to take JJ.
“We have a carrier he likes to ride in on hikes. I don’t mind carrying him,” he confessed.
Jared hesitated, not wanting to let go of his son, especially to the man he suspected had been his replacement as father. In his mind, Jesse was everything he wasn’t had his wife and son on top of it all.
Because of his limitations, Jared hung back and let the others go ahead of him. It wasn’t long before Holly dropped back to walk beside him. She was quiet, but halfway up the hill, she reached over and took his hand, giving it a squeeze of encouragement. The journey between town and the bunker wasn’t easy on Jared, but he did it twice a week. He had only come down that morning, and should have had at least three more days before making the trek back up. He wasn’t going to disappoint her though.
When he stumbled once over a thick root, Jacob and Scott were immediately there to catch him. They were ready to carry him the remainder of the way, as they had done countless times. Jared’s stubborn pride wouldn’t allow it in front of his family, so he shook his head and they backed off but stayed close.
With sheer determination, he made it. As the others headed for the community room, he excused himself for a few minutes and headed for his room. Sitting down on the couch, he carefully pulled up his pants, exposing the peg leg with the new boot Doc had fitted him for. It didn’t have enough cushion, and he had never pushed it quite so hard in one day. As he removed the contraption, he noticed his stump just below his knee was raw and bleeding a little. Fresh blisters were already popping up.
Cursing, he threw the thing across the room just as Holly walked in. He stared at her, feeling far too exposed and wanting to run away. He didn’t want to feel less of a man in front of this woman. He wanted to be whole and healthy and able to run in the grass chasing his son, but none of that would ever happen. It was only a dream.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” she demanded looking from the wooden leg then back to the stub that it had been attached to. “We would have stopped or slowed the pace.” She walked over and dropped to her knees to examine the wounds. “Does it hurt?”
He took a deep breath. He hated her seeing him like that. “In general, no. Doc’s trialing a new contraption to help with my balance, but the stupid thing doesn’t have enough padding and rubbed it raw.”
“Let me see if I can find some ointment for it. I’ll be right back,” she said preparing to run down to Docs office, which she didn’t know was no longer there.
“Holly,” Jared said, stopping her.
“Yeah?” she asked, turning with her hand on the doorknob.
“It’s in the bathroom. Not the first time I’ve needed it.”
“Oh,” was all she said as she entered the bathroom. The ointment she was looking for wasn’t the only medical supply in there. She closed her eyes and fought off tears. She needed to be strong for him. Jared was alive, that’s all that mattered.
Grabbing it, she went back and began rubbing the stump of leg with it. She didn’t hesitate or freak out. This was Jared. She would do anything for him.
“There, that should help. Do you want me to wrap it? There was some gauze in there and it’ll save the sheets from getting greasy.”
“It’s okay. I’ll take care of it later,” he assured her.
She looked around the room and noticed various pulleys and contraptions around. There were also bars on the bathroom walls.
“The guys have been trying to find ways to help. Scott likes to build things. Some of them actually do help, too,” he admitted. “I don’t really remember them, you know. I mean, Jacob Marsh was a bully when we were kids, but he’s been so nice to me this last year. It’s still kind of weird. There’s this whole life I’m missing and nothing I do seems to help get it back.”
She sat next to him, hugged him, and rested her head on his chest. He stroked his hand across her hair, smoothing it. Holly smiled, knowing her Jared was still there and he didn’t even realize it.
“What?” he asked, stopping his hand in mid-stroke.
Holly looked up at him. She looked happy.
“You’ve always done that to soothe me or calm me down,” she said.
“Did what? What did I do?”
“You’d hold me and run your hand gently down the back of my hair. Even before we were together, just friends. You’ve always done it.”
His hand froze, his fingers still toying with the ends of her hair, and he pulled it away to stare at his hand in amazement. “I didn’t even realize I was doing that,” he admitted.
She reached up and stroked his hair, running her thumb gently across his forehead. “You may not remember me here, but your actions today tell me you still remember me here,” she said, moving her hand down his chest and placing it over his heart.
They were still sitting there staring at each other when the door burst open.
“Jared you in here?” Chris Weaver hollered. “Rumor has it Holly’s ba—” He stopped mid-sentence and stared at the couple on the couch. “I see the rumors are true.”
“Chris!” Holly said, jumping up and throwing herself into his arms.
He pulled back and held her out at arm’s length. “Let me look at you!” He checked her out and nodded. “Well, you sure as hell look better than you did the last time you came home.”
“And look at you, you’re all grown up. If you hadn’t spoken, I’m not sure I would have recognized you.”
He shrugged. “I guess fatherhood does that to you. Have you seen Cassie and the boys yet?” Holly shook her head. “She’s going to flip out. Are you home for good?”
“No, I’m not, but I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She looked back at Jared and smiled with so much love showing through her eyes that it hurt his heart. How he wished he could remember what he’d done to put that look there. “Until today, I honestly never wanted to see this place again. I’m so glad I didn’t put it off any longer.”
“You didn’t know?” Chris asked, guessing she was referring to Jared.
“No, I thought he died the day they came for me. I died a bit that day, too. Carrying a piece of him was the only thing that got me through it all.” Chris looked confused at her word choices, but she grinned. “Wait here.”
Holly ran all the way to the great room. Jesse was sitting on the couch talking to Charlie and bouncing a restless JJ on his knee. She snatched him up.
“Where’d you take off to?” Jesse asked.
“Just catching up with Jared, and I want to introduce JJ to Chris. I’ll be out in a little bit. Is pod 5 open?” she asked Charlie.
“Should be,” he confirmed.
“Can I put Jesse up there for tonight?”
Charlie hesitated but caved. “Yeah sure, you guys can take that one.”
“Do you want me to take the baby tonight?” Jesse offered. He already assumed she’d be staying with her husband.
“Not sure yet. Maybe. We’ll see how it goes,” she said as she practically skipped back in the direction she’d just come.
“I’ve never seen her so happy,” Jesse confessed to her brother.
“I don’t know what it is about Hastings, but he’s always had that effect on her.”
“I’m glad he’s alive. I got to deal with the aftermath of what that idiot did to her.”
“What do you mean?” Charlie asked.
Jesse shook his head. “That’s a conversation behind closed doors.”
“Okay, let’s go. My office, now. I want to know everything you know about what happened to my sister.”
“Charlie, where are you going?” Jacob demanded seeing the two men rise and head for Charlie’s office.
“We’ll just be in my office talking,” Charlie assured him.
“That’s not a good idea, man,” Jacob warned. “What part of ‘this man is an assassin’ did you not comprehend?”
“Stand down, Jacob. He has information I need to know.”
“Then he can say it out here for all of us.”
“Enough. We’ll be in the office. Whatever information comes from it, I’ll share as needed. Are we clear?”
“Crystal,” he said unhappily. “But know I’ll be standing guard just outside the door. Holler if you need me.”
“Thanks,” Charlie said not even bothering to argue with him. He turned and led Jesse into his private office.
“Now, tell me everything you know concerning my sister and what happened,” he demanded.
“Major Griffon Maynor and his big ideas. Holly’s forgiven him, to an extent, but I’m not sure I ever will.”
“Are you telling me Griffon took Holly? He was the one behind that helicopter abduction?”
“Yes, and for full disclosure, that kid”—he nodded towards the door where he knew Jacob was standing watch—“was right. Few AMAN know my true identity but some know the name and the stories. I’m not exactly proud of it, but while I’m here, I do swear to you that I am no threat to you or your Compounders. Holly told me all about what you’ve done here, and I think it’s quite admirable. I’ve been ordered to kill your sister twice already. She’s still alive and will remain that way as long as I’m breathing. He may have been right to warn you, but I’m telling you, you have nothing to fear from me. I am not your enemy, Charlie Jenkins.”
Charlie gulped at the man’s candid words but he appreciated the honesty. “Thank you for looking after my sister.”
“You don’t have to thank me for that. My orders always come from the General himself. He’s groomed me into what I am since he rescued me during the collapse. I was twelve years old. This isn’t something I just talk about or tell people, I’m only telling you so that you’ll understand and not get in my way when the time comes.”
“When what time comes?”
“The time to leave. Griffon may have gotten her into this, but it’s Holly who really runs the show. She’s done what no one thought could ever be done. They call her the Wildflower, and once I saw firsthand why, there was no going back. She’s not here to stay, Charlie. I’m asking you not to try and pressure her into it. I suspect she’ll be back as much as she can now that she knows Jared’s alive, but she needs to finish what she’s started.”
“And what, exactly, is that?” Charlie asked.
Jesse gave him a quirky half smile. “You’ll have to hear that directly from her. We were only planning to stay at most a night. I can give her three, but no more. I swear to you, she’ll be safe and free to return as often and as much as she wants. Just don’t try and stand in her way.”
Charlie didn’t bother arguing. He was still sizing up the man before him. He knew all too well that his sister would do whatever she felt she had to with or without his blessing.
“Is Griffon still alive?” Charlie surprised him by asking.
“Unfortunately, yes, and he’s proven to be a valuable ally to her. I don’t like it, but she made me promise not to kill him.”
Charlie gave a sharp laugh and covered his face with his hands, scrubbing them over the day-old beard he was sprouting. “Yeah, that sounds like my sister.”
* * * * *
Meanwhile, down the hall, Holly walked into pod 7 just in time to hear Chris ask Jared how he was holding up.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t come by earlier. I wanted to try and give you a heads up. Are you okay? I know it’s a lot to take in.”
“You know, it’s really weird, but I’m okay. There’s something so familiar about her. I can’t seem to stop touching her. What’s wrong with me?”
Chris laughed. “Nothing’s wrong with you, man. She’s your wife, and you were crazy in love with her. You’ve never been able to keep your hands off her for as long as I’ve known you.”
“Really? ‘Cause that doesn’t sound like, well, me.”
Holly cleared her throat to alert them to her presence.
Jared looked up and beamed up at her. “There’s my little man. Chris, it like Matty and Zach have a new best friend.”
Chris’s mouth dropped in shock as he stared at the baby and looked back and forth between Holly and Jared. Holly walked over and gave the baby to Jared.
“Uncle Chris, meet JJ, our son.”
“Holy shit, you had a baby?”
“No, I just picked this up on the way home,” Holly said sarcastically.
“Smartass. Wow, I wasn’t sure anything with you would shock me anymore, but this, this is definitely a shocker. Have you seen Cass yet?”
“No. Most of my squad came down when rumor got out that I was home. I’ve seen Charlie but haven’t even had time to see Mom. I was more than a little shocked just finding this guy alive and well,” she said sadly cursing herself for all the time she let slip away and not coming home sooner.
“You know, I actually went on a medical run with your squad. I honestly thought they were going to kill me out there,” Chris told her, trying to change the subject away from Jared who he knew didn’t like being the center of attention.
“What?” she asked alarmed.
“I don’t mean like they actually threatened bodily harm, Holly. I mean, how in the hell do you do it? It was insane. Poor Amos. Took him over a week to recover from that trip. They are seriously badass.”
Holly laughed. “Yeah, they are pretty awesome. I’ve missed them. Missed you and Cassie, too. How is she?”
“Amazing as always. She’s a great mom to the boys. I’m a lucky man,” he said sincerely.
“I’m glad everything worked out for you guys.” A part of her longed to have that kind of simple love with Jared, but aside from the shock of finding him again, she knew she still had a job to do and nothing, not even Jared could stop her.
“You look sad. What’s up with you?” Chris asked.
Holly shook her head. She didn’t want to discuss it or think about it. She sat down on the floor leaning against the couch close to Jared. He passed the baby to Chris and repositioned himself, rubbing her shoulders.
“Holly’s leaving again soon. I think she’s a little torn on that decision,” Jared told Chris.
“Seriously? You’re going out again? Why?”
Holly was surprised at how intuitive Jared was. She shouldn’t have been, he’d always been able to read her. But given the circumstances, it did surprise her.
“I have some things I need to finish before I can come home for good,” was all she said. It was all she’d told any of them so far.
Chris looked angry but bit his tongue. He had been there for Jared every step of the way. The man was his closest friend, clearly closer than Holly, who continued to keep secrets from him. But for her to see Jared was alive and needed her, and then to abandon him, pissed Chris off.
“I’m going to get Cassie, she’ll be pissed if she doesn’t get to see you before you take off again,” he said tensely as he handed the baby back down to Holly.
“What’s his problem?” she asked aloud as the door closed behind him.
“He’s been a good friend to me, Hols. He’s just being protective. He gets like that. It’s annoying sometimes,” Jared said.
She turned to look at him and smiled. “You called me Hols.”
“Oh, sorry. Was that bad? I don’t know where that came from,” he said. “Sorry, Holly.”
“No, it’s okay. Really okay. You’ve always called me that.”
“I have?” he asked, surprised.
“Yes. Only those closest to me ever use it. Isn’t that right, JJ?” she said talking to the baby as he began cooing and trying to escape to go exploring.
She set him down but kept an extra close eye on him as he explored his new surroundings.
“He’s okay in here,” Jared assured her. “I watch the twins here two nights a week to give Cassie and Chris a break. They’re great kids. JJ is going to love them.”
“I knew I was missing out on stuff back home, I just didn’t expect to feel so bad about it. I should have been here for you. I’m so sorry, Jared.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” he gave her a sly grin. “It’s not like I would have known the difference.”
She elbowed him in his good knee and they both laughed in spite of the situation.
“I’m sorry you had to go through being pregnant, having a baby, and raising him all alone. I wasn’t exactly in the sort of position to help much, but I would have had I known.”
“I know you would have, and it’s okay. I wasn’t alone through it all. Jesse was there,” Holly said without thinking.
“Jesse. Right. Look, I know it’s really not my place to ask, but what’s going on between the two of you?”
“What? The two of who?”
“You and Jesse,” Jared said. He was being direct and asking questions that should have been far removed from his comfort zone. Yet, he had no hesitation where this woman was concerned. Maybe she was right, and his heart still remembered her even if his mind didn’t.
“Jared, there’s nothing going on with me and Jesse. Nothing. You don’t need to worry about that. He’s very clear where I stand on that. We’re just friends. He’s sort of been a lifeline to me. He bullied me sometimes but kept me going before I found out I was pregnant with JJ. I’m not sure I would have survived it all without him.”
“Survived what, Holly?”
She turned big green eyes on him, moist with tears, and moved to sit beside him on the couch. “You,” she said. “I survived losing you, or at least I thought I’d lost you.”
He reached out and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. His brow furrowed as he tried to conjure up memories still out of reach.
“You really cared that much about me?”
“Cared? No. I loved you that much. I still do, and I always will. There will never be another man for me, Jared. Jesse knows that.”
Jared didn’t understand what propelled him forward, but with his hand still cradling her cheek, he closed the gap between them and kissed her like she was his last breath of fresh air. He had never kissed a woman before, apart from the brief moment he had shared with Holly earlier that day.
He didn’t even know if he was doing it right, but when her lips parted on a soft sigh, his tongue delved in and took control. When she pressed forward, deepening it, he assumed everything was good. He sure knew it was for him. It was the greatest moment of his life, and he felt whole for the first time ever, kissing this beautiful woman.
Holly pulled back first, breathless. “See? Stop using your head, and remember me with your heart.”
He started to stiffen and apologize, but something about her theory resonated as truth with him. Three years ago, he would have been terrified to even be alone in the same room with a girl. But he wasn’t afraid and he wasn’t bothered with her close proximity. His body had come alive like he’d never understood before.
* * * * *