Chapter 34
JARED STIRRED, peeking his eyes open enough to note the lights had come on to indict the sun was rising. He wasn’t ready to wake. He had the best dream about a cave with a fire and a gorgeous naked woman. He had awoken uncomfortably but happy, knowing that there was a part of him he had feared may be dead that was definitely alive and well. He stretched and felt weighted down. Opening his eyes fully, he looked down to see red hair sprawled out across his chest, and a soft hand pressed against the bare skin of his stomach from under the hem of his shirt.
Holly, he thought. Memories of the day before came back to him, but more than that was a familiarity of holding this woman in his arms. He wondered if the dreams he had could possibly be real.
She moaned and stirred in his arms. It made him aroused. He should have been embarrassed that she’d realize it, but he was so relieved to find some part of him functioning normally that he didn’t care.
Jared had never felt whole. He had always been different, broken, but losing his leg and physically setting him apart from others was even harder. He hadn’t wanted her to see him like that, but she looked at him, saw his pain, and acted without even flinching.
He only knew what others had shared about her, but he knew with certainty that his wife was compassionate and loving. She had already showed that to him.
“Mmm, good morning,” Holly said sleepily, as she stretched across him.
He couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. It didn’t matter to him how it happened. Never in his life had he ever envisioned himself waking up to such a sexy, beautiful woman. He wished he knew what he did in his missing life to deserve her, but he vowed to just accept it and enjoy being with her and their son.
He had always been a survivor. Holly was right about that. When he woke in a strange room with people he didn’t know and learned how close he’d been to death, he realized he wanted to live. Learning that he had friends and people that cared about him was a shock, but he grew to accept it. It changed him. They changed him. The awkward boy he’d always been was still a part of him, but he tried to bury it down deep and just be grateful for each day and whatever came his way. This morning, that was waking to a beautiful woman in his arms.
He smiled down at her, stroking her soft hair across her back. He leaned his head down and kissed her forehead, not understanding what possessed him to act so boldly. She smiled against his chest and hugged him closer.
Holly looked into Jared’s eyes feeling more at peace than she had in well over a year. She scooted up, stretched to close the gap between them, and kissed him like she had dreamed of so many times. He only hesitated a moment. If she hadn’t braced herself for it, she wouldn’t have even noticed it.
He growled into her, kissing her back with a wild abandon he didn’t know was in him. When she parted her lips, he let himself freely explore her mouth, memorizing every crevice of it. While she met him lick for lick, he realized she was letting him take the lead, giving him all the control, and it made him feel strong, powerful, and heady. She was intoxicating, and her kisses were more addicting than air itself.
A soft knock on the door made him groan in frustration. He was ready to see where things between them led. He had never wanted anything in his life as much as he wanted her. The knock sounded again.
“I’ll get it,” Holly said, sounding as disappointed and frustrated as he felt.
Jared heard some talking in the front room, and a few minutes later, Holly returned carrying JJ. She climbed back into bed, bringing the baby with her.
“Somebody’s ready for breakfast,” she half grumbled, half smiled. “But you slept all through the night, didn’t you little man? Bet you knew Mommy and Daddy needed a little kid-free time, huh?” she spoke in a strange higher pitched voice that melted Jared’s heart.
“Hey, big guy,” he said, still in awe that the child was his. He had helped create a new little human being. It was too much to take in at once, and the impact of fatherhood was overwhelming him. He would be responsible for another person for at least the next eighteen years. The last thing he wanted was to screw up as badly as his own father had. Disgust was evident on his face.
“You’re nothing like him, Jared. You never could be,” Holly said softly.
He didn’t want to think about how she seemed to know what he was thinking. He couldn’t bring himself to fully comprehend a world where he could possibly share his deepest, darkest secrets with someone so pure and good, or one where she could truly look past it all and still see something of value in him. It was too much.
“How can you be so sure?” he wondered aloud without meaning to.
“Look at me,” she demanded, and he did. “Your father was an evil, disturbed man, but you are not him. You are good, and loyal. You’re kind and loving, and I know that you would have been over the moon happy when I got pregnant. It’s not like we really talked about kids or anything, but I know you. As hard as that is for you to believe, I do, Jared. I know you better than anyone else in this world, and I know you will be a wonderful father to JJ. The best,” she said with tears in her eyes.
He wiped them dry as Holly rolled her eyes.
“I never used to be a crier. This kid,” she grumbled, then laughed. “You broke Mommy, didn’t you?” she asked the baby in that same cute voice she’d used earlier.
“No one will ever hurt JJ the way my father hurt me. I would kill anyone who tried,” Jared said, confused by the passion of his words and the truth that rang through them. “Look, I know I’m not the man you expected to come home to. I’m broken, more than I’ve ever been, but I’m trying. And though there’s still some hurdles to overcome, I’m getting there. I’ll never be the guy you knew before. I’ll never be able to run and chase him or do normal stuff, but I’ll protect him. And I don’t want one single day of his life to go by without him knowing he’s loved.”
Holly nodded, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. “He is loved. So much. So much I almost feel sorry for him,” she laughed. “I thought he was all I’d ever have left of you.”
“I’m here,” Jared said. He leaned down and kissed her forehead making her cry a little harder. JJ squawked unhappily.
“I know, I know,” Holly said as she lifted her shirt and Jared watched his son eagerly search out her nipple and suckle happily.
“Breakfast,” he smiled. A part of him thought he should leave the room, like he was intruding on something private and personal, but he couldn’t stop staring down at the sight before him and somehow feeling he was a part of it. My family, he reminded himself for the millionth time since their arrival, and with just the three of them lying there so intimately, he could almost let himself believe it.
Their peaceful tranquility didn’t last long, as there was arguing out in the hallway that they could hear even from the bedroom.
“I’ll check it out,” Jared told her, as he grabbed his crutches and made his way to the front door.
Outside the door, he found the source of the commotion as Jesse guarded the door and Charlie and Chris fought him to pass.
“What’s going on?” Jared asked.
“We just wanted to check in and make sure you were okay, but this moron won’t let us through,” Chris said.
“I told you,” Jesse said calmly. “The baby is eating. They’ll be down for breakfast when he’s done and you can interrogate them then.”
Jared was surprised to see Jesse so protective, and especially shocked that he’d included him in that sentiment.
“He’s right. And I’m fine. We’re fine. Really, you don’t need to worry. Holly should be done feeding JJ in a bit, and we’ll head down to the dining room.” Jared stared at Charlie. “You know how much I hate it when you guys pull this shit. Please don’t do it now.”
Charlie sighed, frustrated by the entire situation. He had been told numerous times that Holly was leaving again, and he hated it. What was she up too? And why did she have to drag Jared through this mess only to leave again?
“You’re certain?” Charlie asked.
“Yes, I’m positive. I’m absolutely fine. Better than I can ever remember, actually.”
Chris smiled. “I told you she would be good for him. Does that mean your memories are returning?”
“No,” he said sadly. “But there’s just this comfort around her that I’ve never felt around anyone else before. I can’t really explain it.”
“She’s leaving,” Charlie reminded him.
“I know.”
“She’ll be back,” Jesse assured them. “Nothing’s going to keep her away from that little boy for long, or you,” he said to Jared.
“I don’t understand why she’s leaving,” Chris said.
“She’ll have to be the one to explain all that,” Jesse insisted.
“You keep saying that. Why can’t you just tell us already?” Charlie asked, getting impatient again.
Holly opened the door, carrying JJ in her arms. “What’s going on?”
“It’s all good,” Jesse answered for them. “They were checking on him,” he said, nodding towards Jared. “And it’s time, Hols. You have to tell them.”
Holly looked around to confirm who was there and nodded. “Chris, radio your brother and tell him to assemble the squad. When they arrive, please bring them back here. You’re welcome to join them. Charlie, why don’t you stick around while we wait. We can catch up.”
The two men looked at each and silently agreed. Chris headed down the hall while Jesse, Jared, and Charlie entered the pod
Jared excused himself and headed for the bathroom to get cleaned up and changed. He took time to re-dress his wounds from the day before, and despite it still being raw and sore, he carefully covered the end of his leg, and attached an older, more cushioned leg to it, happy to find minimal discomfort walking with it.
Holly headed for the bathroom next, leaving Jesse holding JJ on the couch. Jared joined him there, feeling relief when Jesse passed the baby to him the second he was situated.
“I still don’t understand what the deal is with you and Holly,” Charlie said to Jesse.
Jesse laughed. “Yeah, we get that a lot, but seriously there’s nothing to understand. Okay, she has her squad, right?” Charlie nodded at him. “Would you think anything suspicious of her being out there and Scott or Milo being with her, staying close to her side, protecting her, helping out with the baby when necessary?”
“No, but that’s different,” Charlie insisted.
“Why? Because you know them? I’m telling you it’s no difference. Just think of me as honorary squad. Look, she’s been through a lot. And since arriving here, she’s looked far more alive than I can ever remember seeing her. I’m not going to keep her from here. If she decided today that she couldn’t go through with it and wanted to stay, there’d be a lot of pissed off people, but I’d camp outside your gate and fight them off until I knew she was safe again.”
Holly came back in and sat between the men, having heard their discussion. “I’m not changing my mind.”
“I know,” Jesse admitted.
“If things are that bad, why would you risk taking JJ out there?” Charlie asked, trying to piece together whatever information he could to make some sense of what was happening.
“She’s not,” Jared said. “He’s staying with me.”
“What?” Charlie asked.
“That’s why she came back, so he’d be safe and cared for.”
“Holly, is that true?” Charlie demanded.
“Yes. It is,” she said quietly. “I’m going to be traveling a lot for the next few months, possibly the next year or two. I need to know he’s safe. I have far more allies than enemies, Charlie, but I can’t risk anyone coming after him to get to me, not till things are more stable. I don’t want to leave him behind, but I know it’s what’s best for him.” She looked at her beautiful son, and scooted closer to him, leaning over and resting her head on Jared’s shoulder. “If I had known you were alive, I never would have gotten involved in any of this, yet I don’t regret it. Not for one second, do I regret what I’m doing, because I’m doing it for him.” She ruffled the hair on top of JJ’s head and smiled.
“And what exactly is that, Hols? Stop being cryptic and tell us,” Charlie said.
Holly nodded, knowing she needed to give more explanation to Charlie and Jared than the others anyway.
“Okay, so, I don’t know how much you really know about the world beyond these walls, but the east coast is separated from the west coast by the Mississippi River. When the bombs hit, the west coast cities fell, but the majority of the west stayed intact. They are united and thriving and want nothing to do with us. The east took a much harder impact. Our cities are closer together, so when all those cities were bombed, there was far more damage. The land is divided amongst large factions … not just the AMAN. These factions have been at war with each other for years, until now.”
Jesse picked up and added some information. “Holly’s brought together the largest factions and convinced them to sign a peace treaty. That happened about nine months ago. JJ was literally born in the middle of those negotiations, and Holly almost didn’t survive his birth. Until that point, we didn’t think the treaty was going to pass, but when her water broke at the end of an epic speech to the heads of the factions, they settled down and started actually talking. When it was announced that she had delivered a son but wasn’t going to make it herself, they sobered quickly, and negotiations were made, signing Holly’s Peace Treaty in her memory. But she did make it, and whether it was a momentary tribute to the woman they all respected or a true alliance, didn’t matter, because she’s holding them to it.”
“We’ve been working in the Norfolk area. The old naval bases are secured. The coal distribution centers are secured. The naval fleet is being restored. We have communications up and running to where we can now talk with the West, though they have made it clear they want no part of us and won’t move to fight us as long as we stay on our side of the river. And right now, we have more than enough to deal with here. There’s several foreign ships waiting and watching just off our coastline, making the restoration of naval resources our top priority. Despite common theory, the rest of the world is alive and well. The attacks were exclusive to the United States only.” Charlie started to interject, but Holly cut him off. “Trust me when I say you don’t want to carry the burden of knowing those details, Charlie. And the fact is, it simply doesn’t matter at this point in our history.”
Jesse decided it was time to help and changed the subject. “On a smaller scale, we’ve been busy restoring neighborhoods, house-by-house and helping people who have lived in hiding, fearing the factions, and are just now coming out. They’re helping grow new developments and are starting to thrive. With this comes new power struggles. We’ve been fighting local gang activity, but overall minor and expected. On the whole, the Norfolk area is slowly coming back to life.”
“Different factions were controlling the various power plants and even the smaller substations causing the erratic power fluctuations,” Holly said.
“Not just the power, but water and other resources as well. We’re working to stabilize all of it,” Jesse added.
“That’s true,” Holly confirmed. “We have projects to clear the old major highways with plans to work towards regaining use of transportation. None of this is happening quickly, but we’re making marked improvements every month. It’s easier to see the local progress Jesse mentioned. And we’re going to continue expanding that reach.”
“What we started here,” she continued, “by making the towns self-sufficient, is another step in that direction, too, but we’ve been getting a lot of push-back and resistance from places like this. And right now, the Endorians are only in treaty by verbal agreement. Gideon didn’t even show up to the peace conference. It’s time for them to step up. Their reach further west is massive, and their resources need to be pulled in for the greater benefit. So when Jesse and I leave here, that is our first destination.”
“From there we go on tour, talking to established towns and getting them onboard with the movement towards reformation. A new nation,” Jesse finally concluded.
“A better tomorrow for JJ,” Holly added.
Charlie just stared in silence. “That’s it?”
Jesse wanted to punch him in the face, but Holly just grinned. “Yup. That about sums it up. You know me, I’m a slacker.”
Charlie shook his head. “I’m going to need time to absorb all that.”
“Thought you might. I’m not giving quite so much detail to the squad, but I may call on them to assist from time-to-time if that’s okay with you,” she asked her brother.
“Let’s be real, I don’t exactly have control over them. Not even with you gone. They’ve continued to build relationships between the other towns. We have free trade with seven sites already up and running. We’ve rebuilt nearly everything within Wythel. School’s up and running; the new church opens next month; the local clinic, the fire station, and the police station are all operational. We’ve been slacking a little around here, too,” Charlie said, proudly.
“And that’s what we want to see going on everywhere,” Holly confessed.
“And you have to be the one to make it all happen,” Jared said with full conviction, not as a question. “From everything they’ve told me about you, you may be the only one remaining who can do this.”
Holly was taken back by his words and the admiration and conviction behind them. He believed in her, and she would carry that knowledge in her heart to get through the next phase. Knowing Jared was alive and that JJ was safely with him gave Holly a new purpose. She didn’t want to just rebuild a nation and make it safer for JJ to grow up in, but now she had the added desire to do it as quickly and efficiently as possible so she could finally come home to her family, for good.
When the squad arrived, she gave them the abbreviated version of her plans. She commended them for carrying on locally with her vision and encouraged them to keep up the good work they were doing. She forewarned them that she may call any one or even all of them into help on various projects as necessary. They all eagerly agreed, though Scott and Jacob requested to join her immediately. She couldn’t answer them right away. She knew that she needed to discuss it with Jesse first, but her heart was full again just being with them all and feeling their confidence in her.
The next two days flew by in a whirlwind. She couldn’t remember laughing so much. She spent time with each and every person she cared most about, and her spirit had been rejuvenated. It was almost enough to make her second guess her decision, but when the time finally came to say goodbye, she hugged her mother and her brother, and told Sam to take care of Charlie and watch out for her squad. All that remained was Jared and JJ.
She hugged them both, trying to remain strong. JJ was asleep in Jared’s arms as she leaned down and kissed his sweet head.
“He’ll be safe and loved. I promise,” Jared said.
“I know he will. There’s no one else on this earth I’d trust him with more than you.”
The faith she maintained in him was almost overwhelming. Jared had never experienced anything like it before, but in the days of getting to know his beautiful wife, one thing was certain of, he respected her and would do anything she asked of him.
“Come back safe, and soon,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. He still didn’t remember their time together, but they had made plenty of new memories and grown close in the short time she’d been there.
She hugged him, never wanting to let go. “I love you,” she whispered.
He pulled back to stare into her eyes, their foreheads touching. “I love you, too,” he whispered back, causing her to smile so wide it reached her eyes and made them sparkle. He had never seen anything so beautiful.
With one final kiss and not another word, she turned and nodded at Jesse, signaling it was time to leave. Scott and Jacob were packed and ready to go, too.
“You’re sure about this?” Jesse asked.
Holly nodded again.
Walking away from JJ sleeping in his father’s arms was the hardest thing Holly ever had to do. It made her physically ill, but she pressed on, knowing it was the greatest gift she could give her son … could give them all: a chance a for a better tomorrow.
To be continued…