Jason
“So, something you need to tell me? Your best friend and confidant?” Colt set a large coffee on my desk and waited, arms crossed, stupid grin on his firefighting face.
“Suck. Ass,” I replied, lifting my coffee to my lips and trying to block out the memories from the night before. Curly hair, red lips — damn it! “And no, nothing to tell.”
To say I’d slept like shit the night before would be a grave understatement. From my disastrous dinner with Blanche — I’d spent the better part of the night tossing and turning, aching with need, and waking up to find myself in a cold sweat — to hunting down more signs at six in the morning. Because Max, after our conversation, had decided to double his efforts within the last twelve hours. The guy was an enigma, that was for sure.
A bored enigma.
“Interesting.” The chair creaked as he leaned forward. “Because word on the street is that you were seen last night with Blanche—”
“Hardly a crime. She’s nice.”
“She smells like Windex, but sure...” Colton drew out sure with a judgmental tone I hated, but was used to. “And then you had a run in with—” He coughed.
“Really? Are we in high school again?” I tapped my fingers against the keyboard in an effort to ignore him. “And don’t you have fires to fight? Kittens to rescue?”
“People to shame,” he added with a wink. “So, Maddy’s back in town.” He grabbed a piece of paper and swiped one of my pencils. “How does that make you feel, exactly?”
I grit my teeth. It was bad enough when I had to deal with Max’s stupid signs all over the town, but it was worse when people knew my business and watched my every move like I was a walking Netflix original. I prayed for someone to rob the bank so I’d have a reason to leave.
“It makes me feel just fine,” I answered with a shaky breath. I wiped my face with my hands. “Can we not talk about this? Ever?”
“She was your only love,” Colt pointed out thoughtfully.
I eyed my sidearm and wondered how much damage I could do to his right bicep if I skimmed the bullet a bit.
“First sex.” This part was said loud enough to gain the attention of the chief, and at least three other officers, who all snickered to themselves.
“Get it out!” I spread my arms wide to anyone who would listen. “Yes, she was my first everything, and now she’s nothing to me, you hear me? Nothing!”
The room fell quiet.
The front door of the police station closed.
And wouldn’t you know?
There stood Maddy. Holding a freaking sign that said, ‘Vote Max. I’m only running because I wanted to make a sign.’
Hell, at this rate, he was going to get voted president and create a national holiday where everyone had to walk around without pants.
Cheeks flushed, she quietly dropped the sign onto the front desk and addressed our receptionist, Darla. “I have a dozen more in my car. They were all over my front yard this morning.”
Darla glared at me over her shoulder as if it was my fault Max wasn’t in prison and was free to actually make signs. She shook her head. “We’re currently dealing with the problem. Go ahead and talk to Officer Caro. Maybe more information will stop this psychopath from littering the city,” she grumbled. And then, “Should have never let that man step foot in this town.”
I could have sworn Chief said, “Amen.”
“And that’s my cue.” Colt waved me off. “After all, I have kittens to save.”
The bastard abandoned me to Maddy.
Gorgeous, curly-haired, blue-eyed, Maddy.
Whenever I’d envisioned seeing her again, which was more often than I’d like to admit, I always pictured myself winning.
I had a secure job that paid me well; I’d already had two promotions at twenty-seven, was the most fit I’d ever been — thanks to my lack of sleep lately — and I still had all my hair and teeth.
Bonus for me.
But Maddy?
She won by simply existing.
Her bouncy hair was like a breath of fresh air in that dim police station. Her small white teeth bit down on her bottom lip, as her blue eyes raked me over with skepticism.
She was wearing black yoga tights and a tank top that said, “Will work out for wine.”
“Have a seat,” I said, voice hoarse.
She pulled out a chair, just as I grabbed my pad and pen. The silence in the office was deafening as if everyone was waiting for me to do something stupid.
I drummed my fingertips against the table then abruptly stood. “Why don’t we do this over coffee down the street? I’m fresh out, and if I have to sit and take notes about more damn signs, I’m going to lose it.”
She opened her mouth, probably to object, but I wasn’t used to rejection.
Not really.
The only woman who’d ever accomplished it was most likely hell-bent on doing it again. This time I wasn’t going to let her. It was just coffee.
I marched toward the door.
Thankfully, she followed.
Side by side, we walked down the street. The summer air felt oddly brisk, and the wind picked up enough to sting my cheeks. I should offer her a coat.
But I’d left it at the office.
And I wasn’t feeling very giving in that moment.
The last time I’d seen this woman, she’d rejected me.
Rejected us.
Our future.
More silence as we walked to the local Moxie Coffee. I put in my order and looked down at her.
She ordered a black coffee.
I paid for both and then sat down.
Again, she followed.
I wasn’t used to her being this silent.
Things between us had been anything but.
We’d gotten detention so many times in high school for being anything but, that eventually they just started sending us together, mainly because we were always talking and joking around. It drove our teachers crazy, even though I was sure they’d thought it was cute that we were so close.
It was rare to fall in love with your best friend and next-door neighbor at the age of eight and then propose to her on the day of your high school graduation.
But she is it for me.
Always has been.
Always will be. Damn it.
I shoved the thoughts aside and tried again. “Address?”
She hesitated, causing me to look up.
“Um…” she tucked some of her curly hair behind her ear, “…you really don’t remember?”
“It’s been close to ten years,” I said dryly. “How would I know where you live?”
“Because I live across the street from your parents’ old house.”
I nearly choked.
My parents’ old place? Where I was currently staying, and remodeling, while they vacationed in Arizona for three months.
“Right.” I jotted down her address by heart. “So, they were on your parents’ lawn?”
Her teeth clenched. “Yes.”
“Twelve, you say?”
“Yes.”
“Were they placed in any intricate design?”
Her brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Circles, squares, penises—”
“You’re kidding.”
“I wish,” I grumbled. My chest felt tight, my coffee was too hot, and my uniform was beginning to itch. “So, any designs?”
“No design,” she said in a small voice. “I mean, there could have been. I wasn’t really paying attention. One of the signs did have one of those flyers about High School Reunion Weekend, but that was it.”
High School Reunion Weekend.
I shuddered.
I planned on being knee-deep in sawdust during that hellish weekend, where every happy couple from high school showed off their rings, cars, babies— No, thank you.
“All right.” I scribbled down more information. “I guess that’s it.”
She nodded slowly. “I guess it is.”
Our gazes locked.
I didn’t want to feel attracted to her, but it was impossible not to. She was more beautiful than the day she’d left. I tried to hold onto my hurt, but instead of building more hate, all I kept thinking was, How is it possible that she’s prettier?
“You look good, Jason.” She stood and grabbed her coffee cup. “It was…” her eyes glanced away, “…it was nice talking to you.”
Bullshit. That wasn’t talking, that was a painful blast from the past.
I forced myself to stay calm even though my heart was racing to run after her, tell her that I still felt… What for her?
Love?
Possibly.
Or maybe it was just a shit-ton of regret.
And pain.
That it had been so easy for her to leave me.
When I still wasn’t capable of giving my heart to anyone else but the person who’d run away with it.
“Let me know if you get any more signs, all right?” Was what I said, when my mind screamed to tell her I’d missed her, to ask her why, to beg her to apologize, to see where this could lead us, to ask why she was back in New Haven.
“Yup.” She waved and walked away.
The motion was so familiar.
The sight of her back.
The way she braced herself against the wind.
It was what haunted me at night.
The way she held herself so royally, while breaking my fucking heart.