Staring at the clock on the bottom of the News cast, I couldn’t even bring myself to blink under the crushing weight of boredom. My body buzzed and itched to move, but even shuffling my legs sent needles to attack my broken bones and abused muscles. It hadn’t even been twenty minutes since my conversation with James had ended, but I was already starting to go crazy.

Reaching for my camera, my fingers were stiff as they wrapped around the metal and plastic. It’s a shame I can’t leave this couch without help…

“You should take a nap if you’re bored, Caroline. It’s not like you can do anything else.” Casting a glare at James, I crossed my arms over my chest while he sniggered. “Don’t be like that. You’re the one that decided to break your ankle.”

“Can you not, please? I’m not tired.” Frowning deeply, I sunk into the couch to huff as James shook his head. “I’m not tired.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not much of a stimulating conversationalist.” Even a deaf person could hear the conversation tapering off, and I focused on the television even as my mind wandered. James had revealed some seemingly personal things, but I wasn’t naïve. My father took a piece of shrapnel to the face, and everywhere we went, people asked him about it.

But I wanted to know more about what gave James that tortured look on his face, and I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth to bite hard. Strangers were the best people to talk to because they had no bias; someone in high school told me that, and I’d never forgotten it.

“… Just ask already, Caroline.” Resignation weighed down James’ voice, and my heart jumped into my throat. “You already know why I’m out here, so what else is there?”

“… You just… you look… haunted- and not like most vets…” Haltingly I spoke up, and this time it was James turn to watch me. His intense, dark stare dug deep trenches along my jaw and cheek bone, and I pursed my lips into a thin line. The silence was deafening, and goosebumps rose on my skin the longer it dragged out.

“I’m not going to go psycho on you, if that’s what you’re worried about. You’re perfectly safe even without Kiki.” James’ sigh tickled my arm, and discomfort festered in my gut as he shuffled in his seat. “I don’t really want to talk about it. One person is too many to know what I know.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry…” A million thoughts ran through my mind, but I knew they were comparable to adorable kittens to what he had experienced. He mentioned his friends being wounded- dying- without so much as a lilt in his voice, but this…

There was true fear and pain in his words. Creeping for my camera, my fingers twitched at the idea that something had scared James more than war. I carefully picked up the device, and when I glanced over, he still wore a dark expression. The mask he tried to build was faulty and already crumbling, and I brought my scope to my eye to capture it.

The shudder of my camera caused James to blink, and he scowled at me as I took a second picture. Through the lens, he looked meaner; there was a fire in his eyes I couldn’t see as clearly without help. Locked deep down, his emotions needed a magnifying glass to be seen.

“It’s not your fault. I did it to myself. Besides, you’ll be leaving in a day or two- there’s no reason for me to fuck up your life when I’m not even in it.” Gulping down the lump in my throat, I reached to adjust the lens as James’ lip twitched in a smirk filled with self-depreciation. “Just don’t publish these, and you can take as many as you want. I kind of want documentation for just how much I single-handedly fucked up.”

“You’re very photogenic. I don’t usually photograph people. I’ve won a few awards for my nature photography, though- so… it’s similar, I guess. It depends on the subject, too. Sometimes people that want to be photographed are very pretty in person, but not on a piece of paper.” Turning to me as I spoke, James stared dead down the lens with a stony look. There was no indication he was at all interested in what I had to say, but accomplishment blossomed in my chest regardless. My awards were nothing more than plaques, and small ones, but they were still incredibly hard to achieve.

“You said you publish under one of my brother’s photography firms, right? You do know he owns Sundance Photography Journal?” Nodding slightly, I lowered my camera before offering a response.

“Yeah. I’ve tried to get on that level, but they always reject me. Their focus is people and the places they inhabit, not animals. Life Perceived is the biggest wild life journal I could get into.” Holding back the truth sent a sick feeling into my gut, but my voice was steady. Truth be told, I wanted to break into Sundance since I started photography when I was a kid. The Journal was the premier; anyone in even their smallest features was guaranteed to be famous and highly sought after.

But Sundance only did three wild life journals in its entire 120 year history, and I hadn’t been alive for any of them.

“Is that why you’re out here? For a shoot for them?” Now that my camera wasn’t an obstacle between us, James’ curiosity was clear in his voice. Glancing over at him, I cracked a smile and nodded before he reached to scratch his cheek. “At least they’ll cover your medical bills when you eventually make it to a hospital. Do they pay well?”

“Yeah- I’ve been working for them since I was 16… it would’ve been longer, but my dad was deployed a lot when I was a kid. He would’ve had to be there for meetings and stuff, and when I turned 16 he just had a sign a piece of paper electronically. The head editor’s wife really likes me, so they buy a lot more than they do with other photographers.”

“That’s some crazy luck. What about your mom?” The conversation was so natural, and I frowned slightly at James’ question. I couldn’t imagine he was one to give pity, but my throat still clogged. I’d only ever discussed this with my dad, and this was ten times more uncomfortable.

“Eh… she’s in prison according to my dad. Fraud and federal tax evasion. From what I know, she and my dad had a one night stand, and she intentionally got pregnant to claim money and extort my dad. He was a pencil pusher until I turned 3 years old, and then the war broke out, so he hired a nanny and got sent east. He went back and forth until I turned 21 before he made his 20.” My mind filled with images, memories of video and phone calls that lasted precious minutes. Taking a shallow breath, I shook my head absently to push them away. “What about you- your parents, I mean?”

“Nick set them up. My dad was a real hard ass- he believed in corporal punishment like all the old people do. I always got this shit kicked out of me until he realized I wasn’t meant to be smart. So they’ve got Nick, the smartass businessman, and Ethan is the baby, and I did my 14 before being honorably discharged. But, to be honest, I really can’t stand my parents. They’re all about social propriety. I still get scolded for swearing in front of them.” Instantly my brain conjured images of gracefully ageing, incredibly entitled old people, and I smiled widely. Across the couch, James smirked, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. “Yeah- exactly.”

“My nanny- her name was Sheila- she let me cuss if I had a good reason. I remember-“ Pausing to chuckle at the tickle of a memory, I settled my camera in my lap to sigh. “I remember when my dad came home from a seven month deployment. I had just turned 13, and Sheila told me I could swear once for no reason. So, I saved it until the day he came home, and we’re in the terminal, and he sees me, and I see him- and I just belt out ‘fuck’ at the top of my lungs. Every single person in the terminal stared at me, and my dad just started laughing so hard he dropped his pack. It became a tradition after that.”

A choking laughter floated to me from James’ side of the sofa, and I grinned outright. Automatically lifting my camera to my eye, I snapped the amusement that cracked his stony façade. The slight upturn of his lip, the crinkle around his eyes, turned him into a different person, and I took a few more pictures before he managed to reign himself in. Swiping his hand across his jaw, he cleared his throat roughly with a jerk of his head.

“Your dad sounds like a natural Army dick. I knew a guy that transferred from Army to Marines. He was a fucking prick- just constant smart mouthing and spewing bullshit. Everyone hated him because he never shut up. He survived all that shit we went through overseas just to get killed by his pregnant girlfriend’s crazy ex.”

“So, it’s true? You guys bust each other’s balls constantly? Do you think that’s the reason Kiki doesn’t like my dad? Because he’s Army and she’s a Marine?” After a moment of thought James nodded, and I turned my gaze to my dog fondly. She was truly remarkable, and she stared back at me with knowing eyes.

“Did you ever consider enlisting?” James’ question caught me off guard, and I twisted to stare at him. Pursing my lips together tightly, I let out a breath through my nose before opening my mouth.

“I thought about being a war photographer, but I never wanted to be so busy. I like where I’m at right now. I think, if the opportunity presented itself, I would take it, though.” My response only got me a drawn-out grumble, and I shifted in my seat only to wince. Well and truly broken, my ankle throbbed wildly if I so much as flexed my calf. Leaning over to stare at the bandages around my feet, I grimaced at how swollen and purple my skin looked against the white.

“Here- let me take those off. I’ve got something around here to brace it since the bleeding should’ve stopped.” Pushing himself from his seat, James walked around the couch and into the kitchen to rustle loudly. It took him mere seconds to appear in front of me, and I stretched out my legs carefully as he sat on the coffee table. “Your right ankle isn’t that bad. You can walk on it in a week or two.”

Hissing as James lifted my ankle onto his thighs, I clenched my hands into tight fists. His large, callused hands were so gentle as they tackled the thin linen, but each whisper of a poke sent pain shocking up my leg. Gripping my borrowed pants, I ground my teeth together while he painstakingly slowly unwrapped my aching foot.

“You’re okay, Caroline. The bandages were tight to stop the bleeding, but it restricted blood flow. It’ll feel better in a minute.” Sweat beaded my upper lip, and I nodded furiously as James glanced at me. Taking a shallow, hard breath, I let it out harshly while the pressure on my ankle decreased. The relief was almost immediate before he’d even gotten all of the bandages off. Blood rushed to my toes, and I relaxed a little into the couch to throw my head back and close my eyes.