Chapter 22

Bea

I woke up and looked outside, standing at the window and thinking about everything that had been going on. I still couldn’t believe that I was pregnant, even after spending the entire week thinking about it. I had set up my first appointment at the doctor’s and bought a couple of books that would help me through all the things I had been feeling. It was an incredibly strange feeling, and even though I had Hailey as support, I yearned for Cameron to be by my side. I knew that it was probably the hormones making me so clingy and emotional, but I wasn’t sure if I would ever get over the feeling of needing Cameron in my life. Growing inside of me was his child, and I needed to figure out a way to let him know that.

I sat down on the couch and pulled out my laptop, searching for anything I could that would lead me to him. He didn’t have social media, I couldn’t find any trace of his business, and the resort website had taken down all the ski instructor information. They were still busy, but the instructors had changed, and Cameron had jetted off to his next destination already. I picked up the phone to dial the resort, my intention being to ask them for his info. When the voice answered on the other line, though, I knew that they wouldn’t give that information out over the phone. So, instead of giving them the third degree, I made reservations in one of their rooms for the weekend. I thought that maybe, if I was there at the desk, they would give me the info. Otherwise, I was booking myself a really nice, two-night vacation in Aspen. I was pretty sure what I was paying for was a room it would take months to put back into my savings.

I hung up the phone and walked into the other room, wanting to keep moving so I wouldn’t lose my nerve. I packed a bag and went out to my car, climbing inside and taking a deep breath. I drove out of my long driveway and hit the highway, not stopping for anything but gas all the way to Aspen. When I drove into the parking lot of the resort, a nervous twinge came over me, and I found myself looking around at the faces passing by, thinking I would see Cameron at any minute. I knew he was gone, though. It was just hard being back there. I checked into my room and went upstairs, pulling out a warmer sweater and then heading back down.

When the front desk was clear of any guests, I walked up to the counter and smiled at the girl typing on the computer. She was young and pretty, with long blonde hair and an impeccably pressed uniform. She was exactly what the resort wanted as the first person to greet the guests.

“Did you forget something?” she asked.

“Huh? Oh, no, I just wanted to ask you a question.” I smiled. “For the month of December, you had some freelance ski instructors here. Their names were Cameron and Glen. I am desperately trying to get ahold of them, and I was wondering if you had a phone number, address, or an email address, even. It’s really important.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” she said sympathetically. “I personally don’t have that information. That would be with the owner, but even if I did have it, I am not allowed to give it to you.”

“Well, is there any way you or the owner could contact them and get them my information?”

“I’m sorry ma’am, but the owner is away himself,” she replied. “He won’t be back until late March. He is opening another hotel in Dubai, and he went there to sign the papers.”

“Wow, okay. Do you think there is anyone else that would have that information?”

“On a professional note, I would have to say no,” she said. “But unofficially, the bartender in the lounge had become pretty good friends with him, so he might be able to help you out.”

“Brian,” I whispered. “All right. Well, thank you for your time.”

“No problem,” she said. “If there is anything else we can do for you, just let us know.”

“I will, thank you,” I replied, turning and walking toward the lounge.

I knew that if I broke down right there, if I told this young girl the situation, she might go out of her way to make it happen. However, as I clutched my stomach, feeling a bit nauseated again, I knew there was no way that I could give her all that information. Hailey and I were the only ones that knew about the baby, and I wanted to keep it that way. I knew that if she knew, she might slip up and say something to Cameron, or even tell Brian.

I walked over to the doors and looked out the windows at the darkening sky. The ski slopes were busy still, the night skiers taking advantage of the good weather. It wasn’t quite as busy in Aspen as it had been around Christmas, but it was definitely still bumping. There was a strange feeling in my chest, like the feeling I had been having in my dreams of Cameron. It was like I could almost feel him thinking about me. I shook the thoughts from my head, knowing it was silly, and it had to be my hormones messing with me. Whatever the reason for my racing mind, I knew that finding Cameron would be the first step at stopping it. After that, it would all depend on how he reacted to the news that he was going to be a father.

As much as I wanted to run into him, I hadn’t even really thought about how I was going to deliver the news. I didn’t want to send him running off for the hills, but at the same time, I wanted to be upfront and honest with him. This was going to be a huge shock for him, probably even larger than the jolt it gave me. I was anxious about it, but it was a wasteful emotion since I wasn’t any closer to finding him than I was before. I shook my head and went into the guest bathroom to the right, peeing for the hundredth time that day and washing my face off with cool water.

I stared at my pale complexion in the mirror and hoped that the nausea I was feeling wasn’t going to come back full force. The last thing I wanted was to be stuck in a hotel in Aspen all weekend, puking my guts out. Everything had happened so fast and out of the blue that maybe taking a small weekend away from life wasn’t at all that bad of an idea. Hailey had been so worried about my mental state that she had barely left my side for the last week. I had taken some time away from work, not finding the ability to bring any creativity to the surface. Although having Hailey with me was a Godsend, I really did need some time alone to really think about everything and make a plan for the future. Whether I found Cameron or not, this baby was going to make its arrival in less than nine months. I had to start thinking about that and the fact that I needed to get prepared for it. Luckily, I wasn’t the girl that had to worry about where to live or financial stability. I had a great job and a beautiful home. Those things were just foundations, though, and there were a lot of factors that went into raising a child, one of which included having a father figure in the picture.

I pulled the paper towels from the dispenser and dried off my face, balling them up and tossing them in the trashcan. I walked back out of the bathroom and across the lobby toward the lounge. However, as I passed the receptionist, she called out for me.

“I think I might have something that can help you,” she whispered. “I can see it in your eyes that whatever reason you need to find them, it is really important to you. It won’t help you right this second, but Glen and Cameron are already booked for the same time next year. He will be back for Christmas and New Year’s.”

“Thank you,” I replied, not feeling any better. “I appreciate you going out on a limb and letting me know that. If I can’t find anything out from the bartender, then I will come and make reservations for next year.”

“Okay,” she said, smiling. “I’m glad I could help in some way.”

I took in a deep breath and walked toward the lounge, hoping it was Brian like I had expected. When I walked through the doorways, Brian looked up from the bar, a big smile crossing his lips. He wiped his hands and put the towel down, coming from behind the bar and hugging me tightly.

“Bea,” he said. “This is definitely a surprise. You look great. How are things?”

“They are interesting.” I laughed, walking with him toward the bar. “But my life seems to always fall under that category.”

“How is Hailey?”

“She’s good,” I said. “Getting back into the swing of working and taking care of my sporadic rear end.”

“You’ll have to tell her I said hi,” he replied.

“I’ll definitely do that.” I smiled. “Brian, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, anything,” he said.

“You became friends with Cameron, right?”

“Yeah, I mean, as much as I could with a guy that pretty much stayed to himself.” He chuckled. “He was a different guy when he was around you.”

“How do you mean?”

“He was alive, happy, smiling,” he said. “I have seen him here four straight seasons in a row, and he has never laughed like he did when you were around.”

“That’s sweet,” I said, blushing. “Well, did you happen to get a number for him? Or maybe a name that I could use to look him up?”

“No,” he said, making my heart sink. “Unfortunately, he left before I could connect with him again. I heard that he’s coming back next season, though.”

“Yeah, the receptionist told me that,” I said, sinking down on the stool.

“Do you want a drink? Maybe your normal?”

“No, no,” I said, breathing deeply. “Actually, could I have a big glass of ice water with lemon?”

“Sure,” he replied. “You know, when my sister was expecting, she used to chug down lemon water like it was the end of the world. Funny thing was, she never actually liked lemon until then.”

“Crazy.” I chuckled, wondering if he knew.

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” He laughed, not even waiting for an answer.

I smiled halfway, the best I could do under the circumstances. Luckily for me, he didn’t even seem to notice my hesitation. I thought about telling Brian, knowing that he was a sweet guy with a big heart. Maybe if he knew the circumstances, he would help me find Cameron. Just as I was about to say something, though, a crowd walked through the door, and I discarded the idea, burying it deep in my chest. I took a big sip of my water and smiled as he looked up at the crowd and took a deep breath.

“I’m going to leave you to it, then,” I said, smiling and standing from my stool. “If you think of anything, let me know. I’m in room 413, and I’ll be here until checkout on Monday morning.”

“That’s funny,” he said.

“What is?”

“Nothing, just that 413 was Cameron’s room when he was staying here.” He chuckled, walking around the bar and toward the guests.

How strange and coincidental was that?