Chapter Twenty-One
Emma
I pack the urn first, carefully putting it in my backpack.
Mom, your ex-stepson is a real dickhead, I think but don’t say out loud.
There are certain things you just don’t say to your mom, no matter what.
My phone is buzzing with texts and voicemails. I pick it up and look at a few. They are all from Aiden.
Where are you?
I need to explain. I’m looking for you.
I’m so sorry. Please call me so I know you are okay.
I’m on my way back to the hotel.
The last one almost makes me rethink what I’m doing.
Don’t leave me, please.
I throw a bunch of clothes into my duffle bag. I scrawl a note telling him I’m going to the bus station.
Meet me in Linx if you want. I can’t travel with you anymore.
I should be in Linx already. In fact, I’d be on my way back now, if not for the broken, rocky detour that is Aiden Sheffield. I thought that my emotions couldn’t twist any more since last night, but seeing Aiden with those two girls cuts like a knife in my back—or more accurately, my heart. The one girl cornered me in the bathroom, introducing herself as Pandora. I was already seething from seeing her with Aiden. My hands were gripping the porcelain sink, as I tried to hold in my nausea. She wasn’t even there to use the restroom. She was there to talk to me. She enjoyed telling me about their plans to have some kind of orgy. Hell, she even invited me to it, all the while giving me the signature mean-girl smirk. How thoughtful of her.
My hands shake as I toss clothes in the bag with no sense of organization. I asked the DJ to play two songs for me, actually. I had to practically beg for the second because it’s not really club music. He agreed to my request, though.
The Goo Goo Dolls’ song “Iris.”
I wanted to dance with Aiden, and tell him all the things I’d held back. That I changed my mind. After he held me last night in his strong arms, I couldn’t ignore my feelings for him. The day we spent together had been perfect, too. He’d done that for me. I didn’t care if we were short term, or if it was a crazy idea. I wanted to experience everything with him.
Stupid, stupid girl.
I hear him jiggling the key card, swearing to himself before the door finally opens. “Emma,” he says, breathing hard. His hair goes in every direction, and I almost wonder if he ran here. We had taken a cab to the club. It’s not a long walk, but it’s not short, either. He slams the door and moves toward me.
“Thank God, you’re here,” he says, more to himself than me.
“I’ll be out of your way soon enough.”
He looks around at the clothes on the bed.
“We finish this together. You can’t leave.”
“I can’t do this push and pull thing you have going on. I know what I said last night, but I figured you’d respect that I have these feelings for you. But instead, you rub it in my face. I’m a silly, stupid girl.”
“Don’t say that. Nothing could be less true. You are the most amazing woman—person—I’ve ever met.”
I laugh, stuffing more clothes in the bag. He takes them back out.
“What the hell are you doing?” I choke, throwing the clothes back in. He does it again.
“Let me explain. Nothing happened.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why?”
“Because it implies you don’t care. I know you do. I am a bastard for the way I acted tonight.”
“No, not you, anglerfish,” I say in my snarkiest voice.
He rubs my arms. I hate the way my skin prickles at his touch. “Just talk to me, please. You believe me, right? Nothing happened.”
I already know this. I saw Aiden get up from the table as I left. But he still contemplated it. I have never been so jealous in all my life. The feeling of it overpowers me—it’s too raw, too humiliating, too hurtful to watch someone you have feelings for with another woman—women. I cannot deal with it so I’m leaving.
“I don’t give a fuck what you do. It’s clear I don’t mean anything to you, either.”
I pick up a shirt, and he snatches it from me. I pull it back, and now we’re playing tug-of-war. I hear a rip, the fabric tearing apart at the seams.
“Stop it!” I scream, letting it go.
He throws it on the bed. “I ripped your shirt.”
“No shit.”
“I’ll get you another.”
“I don’t want another. I don’t want you.”
He smiles, his eyes lighting up in that intense way. “Lie to yourself. Not to me. You want me just as much as I want you. I’m a stupid, sorry son of a bitch who can’t even figure it all out until he almost fucks it up.”
“What did you figure out, Aiden?”
“That there is nothing in this world that can make me forget you. There is no ignoring what I’m feeling. There is no letting you go. You asked me not to leave you last night. I’m asking, maybe begging, for the same thing now. Don’t leave me.”
The shock of what he says makes me speechless for a minute. He stares at me, anguish written all over his face. He backs me against the wall and kisses me.
If you can call what he did a kiss. The experience feels new to me. His arms encircle me, his lips against mine, rough, needy, and tender at the same time. I don’t kiss him back, but I can’t push him away, either. His fingers tangle in my hair, his body presses against me.
When he lets me go, he’s still breathing heavy, but I’m downright panting.
“Emma?”
I slap him. The sound echoes in the room.
Aiden winces.
“I deserve that.” He bows his head as if he’s waiting for more punishment.
I regret it. There is something in the way he looks. There is pain in his expression that runs deeper than any words he can say to me.
I squeeze his hand. He inhales deeply. I grab hold of his shirt and pull him to me. I kiss him. I let myself do all the things I’ve fantasized about since the day I met him. I run my fingers through his thick hair and slide my tongue across his lips. He parts his mouth. He tastes of bourbon and sweet mint.
His glittering eyes look feral. I watch as he takes his wallet from his back pocket. He takes out a golden packet before tossing the wallet onto the nightstand. He unbuttons his shirt, staring at me like he’s going to eat me. I hope he does.
“Wait,” I say. I stand and take hold of his shirt and pull it apart. The remaining buttons scatter in every direction. Aiden’s face flickers in shock before the lust returns.
“You have no idea how much that turned me on.”
His pants bulge, giving me an exact idea.
“It’s only fair I get to rip your clothes, too,” I say.
His hands travel down my sides until he grasps my hips. His fingers tighten as he lifts me up and throws me onto the bed. “This is going to be really difficult for me.”
“Why?”
“I’ve been waiting for this, but I want to take my time. To make it good for you. I worry if I can. I want you too much.” He sheds the rest of his clothes. I gasp at the sight of his perfect body. The hard-packed muscles of his waist, his shoulders, his legs, and what is between them. In fact, that is the only place where Aiden is fat. “Let me fuck you like the animal I am.”
He’s waiting for a reply, maybe my permission.
“You should always be yourself.”
His mouth turns up. I expect him to laugh, but he lets out a low rumble that resembles a growl. My brain does a mental gulp. He drops to his knees in front of me before grasping my legs and pulling me toward him. He hikes up the dress until it’s around my midsection. His fingers massage the drenched material of my panties. I shriek in ecstasy when he curves his fingers, his thumb circling my clit.
“If that’s the sound you make when it’s my fingers, what the fuck are you gonna sound like with I’m deep inside of you?”
“I don’t know, but I want to find out.”
“Not yet. Take down your straps. I want to taste your skin.”
I slip them from my shoulders. This dress doesn’t allow for a bra. Clearly, he’s figured that out. The cold airs hits my skin for only a second before I feel his warm breath across my nipples. They harden instantly. He swipes his tongue across each one, then he rolls them against his teeth, not gentle, but not too hard. Just the right amount. His fingers thrust inside me. I pull his hair and rake my nails down his back. The scent of his cologne is intoxicating, especially when mingled with his sweat, his own natural masculinity, and my intense arousal.
I come, my legs shaking, my mouth biting his neck. And before I can even catch a breath, his mouth crushes against mine.
Squirming as he slides my panties down, I clutch a fistful of bed sheets. He rolls the condom down his length. His hard erection is inside me before I even realize what he’s doing. I’m so wet I hear his cock slide into me. It stretches me. For a moment it’s painful…until it’s not. I feel full. He grips my hips, moving me at an angle. I wrap my legs around him and tighten my hold on his shoulders.
“I won’t let you go, Emma,” he says.
His fingers tangle in my hair until he twists it around his hand and pulls my head back. His lips run down the length of my neck. His teeth graze and nip and bite me. I moan out loud at each of the wonderful things his mouth can do.
“Aiden.” Is it a whisper, a scream, a plea? I’m not really sure.
I arch my back, staring at the way his arm flexes with each movement.
“Look at me, Emma. I need to see you.”
His hand cups my ass, and he pulls me toward him, bending his head so our foreheads touch. His body is warm and damp. Staring into his eyes, I lose myself, our breaths coming out in harsh gasps. The electricity of us builds in every part of me until it finally releases. I cling to him. He pumps once more, before moving away. I lean up on my elbows. Aiden is on his knees beside me. He throws the condom to the side. His fingers slide against his wet shaft. He rears his head back, grunting out my name over and over as he comes on my breasts.
He falls on the bed beside me. He places his finger under my chin and turns my head toward him. We’re both still breathing hard when he brushes his lips against mine.
“We need to do laundry tomorrow.”
I laugh. “Yeah. I think you came on my clothes, too.”
He cracks up. “I don’t know how you can make me laugh after that.” His eyes skim across my freshly slicked breasts. “We should clean you up now.”
“Uh-huh,” I say. I trace my fingers over my nipple before sucking on it. It tastes salty…and sweet. I think those dark green eyes might just pop out of his head.
“Did that just happen? And can you do it again ’cause I need to capture that in a mental picture for future masturbation fantasies.”
“What? This?” I repeat the motion.
Before I can answer, he pinches my arm.
“Did you just pinch me?”
He kisses the spot. “I was just verifying you are real.”
“Hey, you’re supposed to pinch yourself, Aiden.” I slide my hand over across his chest and press his nipple between my index and thumb, manipulating it between my fingers.
“That tickles.”
“No, it doesn’t,” I say, pinching harder. He grabs my wrists.
“You’re right, but it is making me hard again.”
“Well, we can’t have that.”
He squeezes my hand. “Stay here.”
I look down at my messy self. I’m sated and wet at the same time. My breasts are hanging out and the silky material that is the red dress is like a huge belt covering my waist. I’m a mess. A happy mess, but still a mess.
Aiden clears off the bed with a sweep of his hand. A warm washcloth presses against my skin, another between my legs.
I thought he had stolen all my energy, but Aiden’s hooded expression makes me squirm with anticipation. His mouth hovers close to my ear. “Emma, I’m going to take my time this go ’round.”
What? We’re doing it again?
He straddles me, his cock fully erect again my leg as he moves.
“The zipper is on the side,” I tell him as he gropes the dress. I almost want to keep it on.
“I know exactly where the zipper is. I figured that out the second I saw you in it. I can’t decide if this dress was made just for you or to torture me. Right now, I just want it gone.”
He doesn’t unzip it fast. My anxiety climbs as the linking rows unclasp. He is going to see me completely naked. I’m not ashamed of my body, but it’s not as toned as Aiden’s. I don’t devote hours a day to its well being. The fact is, if you squeeze my sides, there will be fat between your fingers. If you shake me, I jiggle. I tell myself to watch him. To search his face for any signs of rejection. I can’t do it, though. I shut my eyes tight.
His finger draws circles around my bellybutton then he follows the movement with his mouth. His lips are warm and wet. “You’re beautiful. You know that, right?”
“Yes?”
“Is that a question? Because there is no doubt about it. You are gorgeous, Emma Cooper.”
“Thank you.”
When I open my eyes, he stares at me in a way that I’ve never been stared at. I don’t know if he kisses every inch of me, but he sure as hell covers a lot of territory with his mouth and tongue.
His strong hands spread my legs. He kisses the inside of each thigh. Aiden gets an A in foreplay. Because he doesn’t just go down on me. He makes love to me with his mouth and tongue and fingers. I feel his breaths and moans as they vibrate through me.
“You’re delicious,” he says in a whisper that journeys through every cell of my being.
As I come undone, he covers me with his body. He reaches over for another condom. He takes in a sharp breath, his fingers shaking as he rips open the package.
He sinks inside of me, expelling his breath with every inch.
His thrusts are slow, not the same frenzied, lusty fucks from before. He buries his face in my neck, kissing me softly. I flatten my feet on the bed and lift my hips to meet him.
“Emma, no.” He leans down to kiss me. “I’m going to lose myself in you if I’m not careful. Can you let me drive us? I need to drive,” he says.
“Okay, baby, you drive,” I whisper, relinquishing all control to him.
He takes me on another journey to a place I’ve never been to. I think people refer to it as ecstasy. I want to visit it every chance I get.