Chapter Thirty-Two
Emma
The hotel in Dallas is luxury all the way. The lobby is marble floors and ornate chandeliers and bellhops dressed in regal uniforms. I look out of place in my tattered jeans and T-shirt. Aiden is wearing casual clothes, too, but he fits in. I pull him aside and tell him it’s too expensive, but insists he’s got it covered. He saunters to the front desk, the admiring gaze of every female in the place following him.
The room, like the rest of the hotel, is gorgeous. It has ornate mahogany furniture and shimmery damask wallpaper. Aiden barely looks around before depositing our stuff on the bed.
“Want to go eat?” he asks.
“We just ate an hour ago.”
“What’s your point?” He smiles his mischievous smile, making my knees wobble. “That was a snack. C’mon Cooper, I’m in the mood for some real Texas barbeque.”
I smell the restaurant from the parking lot. Although I’m not hungry, my mouth waters just the same.
“I would say this is going to be a good meal, but that would be an understatement,” Aiden says.
“What? No barbeque in Butte Falls?”
“Not like this. You haven’t eaten barbeque until you’ve had Southern barbeque.”
Our waiter tells us they make the best ribs so Aiden orders a few slabs. They arrive on a huge silver tray flanked by corn on the cob, and cornbread baked right in a frying pan.
I dig into the bread and actually moan. It makes me moan! It’s got real corn in it and bacon, lots of bacon.
“Damn, Cooper, you know how much your little moan turns me on? You’re gonna have to stifle it, though, ’cause I’ve got a lot of eating to do, and you’re distracting me from it.”
I would laugh except I only wanted to use my mouth to eat.
He closes his eyes when he takes his first bite. “Mmmm.”
“And here I thought you hated Texas.”
He shakes his head. “Girl, I’m Texas through and through.”
“You sure are, cowboy.”
He smiles, licking his lips. “I like Texas just fine. I fucking love the food. It’s Linx I hate.”
I nod, forking a rib and depositing it on my plate. It’s slathered with a sweet and spicy sauce. He laughs at me when I try to cut my meat.
“I know you’re a fine lady, Emma, but for fuck’s sake, use your hands. Act like a native.”
“I don’t want to get all messy.”
“Some things are worth getting messy for.” He takes the fork from me. “This is one of them.”
I get sauce all over myself, but it’s worth it. I would eat this food out of a trough if I could. By the time the check arrives, I question if I can walk, which sucks because we walked here. The trip goes slower on the way back. But there is a nice low breeze and Aiden’s fingers curl into mine.
“That was the most amazing meal I’ve ever had.”
He kisses my forehead. Back in the room, he takes off his T-shirt and jeans right away. I strip down to my panties and T-shirt, and we flop on the bed.
His fingers tangle in my hair. “Tomorrow’s going to be hard for you.”
“It’ll be hard for you, too, Aiden. I can still do it by myself.”
“We’re in this together.”
I slide my finger across the cut at his waist. “Are we?” Then I hate myself for asking the question, because he looks hurt. “I’m sorry.”
He cups my face, his thumb running over my lips. “I shouldn’t let you imagine it when I can give you the truth. It’s not just because it’s hard for me to talk about, but I worry about your reaction.”
“Aiden, there is nothing you can say that will make me think less of you.”
“You should never make absolute statements, Emma.” I open my mouth to object but he shakes his head. “But I’m gonna tell you the story behind this scar, and I hope your statement holds true because this is…this is a lot crazier than K2. It was downright careless, but I was in a place where I saw no outs, so I decided to make my own. That’s why I branded this scar as my own personal freedom.”
“Tell me.”
“You see, Harlan had beaten away all my will. I never fought him, and I hated myself for that.”
“You were a child. Don’t blame yourself for what that monster did to you.”
“I don’t anymore, Cooper. But I did once.” He inhales a deep breath. “Harlan kept a gun in the house. He hid it inside the fireplace grate under the logs. It was in this black pouch and always fully loaded. He didn’t think I knew about it. The fireplace had been converted to gas years ago and the logs were plastic so there was no reason to go in there. But I had seen it. One day I picked up the gun. I was gonna kill myself.”
He wipes a tear from my face. I asked him to tell me, but I can’t handle this. My lips quiver.
“Relax, Cooper. I didn’t do it, obviously. Instead, I focused on the other thing inside the bag. It was a key to the drawer in his desk. He’d always been really private about it, slamming the drawer shut whenever I was near. My curiosity was stronger than the other emotions. He was working late so I decided to have myself a peek. I couldn’t believe what I found.”
“What was it?”
“It was all these papers and receipts, kept in meticulous order. I knew my mom came from wealth. But I had no idea she had a trust fund. A trust fund I automatically inherited when she died. It took me a while to figure it out. The papers were written in legal language, but I finally realized what was going on. My father was stealing from me. The trust allowed him to take out money for my expenses. He had taken out a few thousand each month of my life. There were receipts for expensive clothes, psychologists, and even private football coaching. I never had any of those things. It wasn’t about the money, exactly, but when I added it up, it was a huge amount. This man had taken everything from me, and I wasn’t going to let him take any more. I no longer wanted to kill myself. I wanted to kill him.”
I wrap my arms around him. “Oh my God.”
“I thought about shooting him when he walked through the door, but it wouldn’t work. I had to have a plan. You see, Harlan had convinced the good people of Linx I was the crazy one.” Aiden’s tone turns sarcastic when he talks about the good people of Linx. “They all thought I enjoyed hurting myself.”
“How could they think that?” Anyone with half a functioning brain could look at his scars and see it wasn’t possible.
“Like I said, he was good at convincing people. As the sheriff, he had a lot of sway. I knew if I just shot him, they would arrest me. I craved something even more than my own freedom.”
“What?”
“Revenge. So I put the key and the gun back where I found them inside the grate. I went on like nothing happened. In a way, the plan kept me going. I had to give Sassy away because I wasn’t sure it would work, and I didn’t want her getting caught in the crossfire.” He expels a sad laugh. “I gotta tell you, Cooper, I thought it was a good plan at the time.”
“What was the plan?”
“On Friday nights, Harlan would have his fill of Pete Samper’s homemade wine, which is stronger than most moonshine. He was usually careful, because that shit was strong stuff. But once in a while, he’d overindulge. I bided my time and waited for one of these nights. When he passed out, I took the gun from his holster and the one on his ankle. I put the smaller one in my back pocket. I left him with his knife.”
“Why would you leave him with a weapon?”
“Because I needed people to think it was self-defense. They could deny burns and bruises, but they could not ignore a knife wound. At least not a deep one.”
I swallow, not sure if I can comprehend what he is saying. “You wanted him to cut you?”
“That’s right. I’d studied his movements over the years. Living with an abuser is a lot like playing poker. You learn tells. For the most part, I knew when to stay out of sight, when to duck, when to hide. I used it to my advantage. I dumped the rest of the liquor on him, shocking him awake. I don’t think he even believed what was happening. He said, ‘you lost your fucking mind, boy?’ I think I had. I had been running in the woods for years, but he didn’t know that. I was pretty fast. He chased me around the house. I taunted him, telling him how he was no kind of man. My mom probably killed herself to get away from him. There were a lot of other things I screamed, too. All the shit I’ve been wanting to spew since I was a kid. He got so angry, he reached for his gun. I knew he would. But it’s in my back pocket. So he went for the knife he kept in his shirt pocket. I drew him to me and turned to my side just as it punctured.”
My head is spinning as I take this all in. I can’t imagine going to such extremes, but then again, he did live in a prison. “You used yourself as bait? He could have killed you.”
“I was willing to risk it.” His admission silences any other questions. He holds me tighter like he’s trying to comfort me, when all I can fucking think about is going back through time and saving him from that man. Saving him from himself.
“He slashed me. I have a high pain threshold. I guess that happens when you’ve gone through what I did, but I wasn’t prepared for how much it hurt. Still, I managed to get away and pull out the gun. He stopped in his tracks. I told him to have a seat on the couch. I cocked the gun ready to kill him in cold blood.”
“But you didn’t.” It’s not a question but a statement.
“No, Emma, I didn’t. I lost my nerve. He said he knew I wasn’t capable of it. I was a pussy and always would be.”
I picked up the phone and called 911 instead. I told them my father had stabbed me. And don’t bother calling the sheriff. My daddy is the sheriff. I watched Harlan’s face go from smug to shock.”
“They believed you?”
“Not everyone, but the district attorney did. Hell, Harlan insisted I set him up. Isn’t it ironic? For the first time, he wasn’t lying.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Anyway, they sent Harlan away to prison. They sent me to foster care in the next town. When I was seventeen, I dropped out of school and petitioned the state for emancipation.”
“They gave it to you?”
“Yeah. Because of the trust, I had a way to support myself and they agreed.”
I sit up, unsure how to respond. “How old were you when you when—”
“When I put the plan in action?”
I nod.
“Fifteen.”
“Oh my God, Aiden, how could you risk your life that way?”
“It was a long time ago, and I was a stupid kid who watched a lot of action movies. I wanted to be my own hero. After all, no one else was applying for the job.”
“I was wrong.”
“About what?”
“It’s so much worse than anything I imagined.”
“You see why I didn’t want to tell you? I don’t regret any of it, Emma. I accept the evil inside of me. I hope to God you do, too.”
“Aiden, I don’t fault you for it…any of it.”
“We’re so different, Cooper. I love your light, and I never want to take it from you.”
I run my hand across his scar once more. He closes his eyes. “I don’t understand, but I haven’t been where you are. You’re wrong, Aiden. You’re not evil in any way. You’re a survivor. Even with all the trauma, you thought about your dog. When it came down to it, you didn’t kill that man.” Even if he had, I wouldn’t have judged him.
“That’s the thing, angel. I regret that, too. I wish I had.” I shiver, not because I’m scared of what he said with such naked, raw honesty, but because I almost wish I could kill his father, too.
“Did he die in prison?” Aiden blinks as if trying to follow my thoughts. “You said he had a heart attack two years ago.”
Aiden looks down at his hands. “Yes.”
I lay my head on his chest. Although his voice was calm during the whole story, his heart is pounding hard. He wraps his arms around me and puts his leg over mine. We sleep like that, tangled up in each other.