Chapter Eleven
Jordan
When I heard the words from Laci’s lips, I felt my heart slow to a dull pounding in my chest. I sat up in bed and looked at her.
“I love you, too,” I said. I didn’t even have to think about it – I knew the words were true as soon as I’d spoken them aloud.
A soft smile spread across Laci’s face and she sighed happily. “Really?”
I snorted. “Of course, I do,” I said honestly. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before – I know it’s you, Laci.”
Laci bit her lip. She tossed her hair and wrapped her arms around me with surprising strength for her small frame. As we reclined back against the pillows, I held her tightly to my chest, wondering how I’d managed to get so lucky.
I couldn’t believe it. In only a short span of time my life had changed from dreary and dull to fascinating. I wondered what the future might hold. Would Laci and I make it through? Would I be able to give her the lifestyle she’d always wanted?
“Maybe when Jenna moves out, you can think about moving in here with me,” I said, stroking Laci’s silky hair. She yawned, covering her mouth before rolling onto her belly and locking eyes with me. It was dark in the bedroom, but the street lamps outside highlighted Laci’s delicate features. Her eyes looked as big as saucers.
“Really?”
I smirked. “Don’t sound so surprised,” I replied. “You know how much I enjoy spending time with you.”
“Yeah, but that’s…” Laci trailed off. “That’s a big step, Jordan. I mean, if you’re not sure…”
“I’m sure,” I said firmly, taking her hand in mine. I brought her fingers to my mouth and kissed them. “If you’ll have me, at least.”
Laci giggled. “I don’t know,” she said playfully. “I mean, my apartment is so great. I’d hate to give it up.”
I shrugged. “Keep it,” I said. “I’ll pay for it.”
The look of disapproval on Laci’s face was evident, even in the dim light of the room.
“No,” she said. “I won’t let you do that, Jordan. It’s my apartment, and I keep it, I’m going to pay for it.”
I shrugged. “Whatever you want,” I said. “I just want you to be happy.”
Laci licked her lips. She draped her arm across my chest and snuggled closer. “As long as I’m with you, I know I’ll be happy,” she said in a drowsy voice followed by another huge yawn.
“Ready for sleep?” I teased. “We never even ate dinner!”
“We can eat breakfast,” Laci said. She closed her eyes and rested her head against my chest. “I’m all tired out, Jordan. I’m sorry – if you’re not ready for bed, you don’t have to try to sleep.”
“Will you think I’m a pussy if I tell you I’m exhausted, too?”
Laci giggled quietly. I pulled the covers over our bodies and slowly, we drifted off to sleep.
***
When I woke up in the morning, Laci was gone. I yawned and rubbed my eyes and sat up in bed before I heard the sound of the shower going full blast. Climbing out of bed, I pulled my boxers on and grabbed my robe from the back of my door. When I got closer to the bathroom, I grinned – I could hear Laci singing in the bathroom, even over the sound of the steaming shower.
Shit, I realized as I looked in the mirror. I never told her!
I hated myself for forgetting to tell Laci the truth. Especially now that our relationship had crossed into a new dimension. I’d known for days – weeks, even – that I’d fallen in love with Laci, but for some reason, telling her had seemed impossible. There was a block around my heart, and I knew it was because of the secrets that lay between us.
When Laci emerged from the shower, she was fresh and pink and wrapped in a towel. Her damp hair clung to her cheeks and she smiled shyly when she saw me.
“Hey,” Laci said softly. “Sorry – did I wake you up?”
“Not at all,” I said. “Good shower.”
Laci locked eyes with me and let the towel drop to the floor. She cocked her head and gave me a salacious grin as she crossed the room and began to dress.
“That’s so unfair,” I growled. “Showing me a peek just like that, you’re going to drive me crazy.”
“That’s the idea,” Laci said. She winked at me.
“Are you busy tonight?”
Laci frowned, then shook her head. “No, at least, I don’t think so,” she said slowly. “Although I should really check and make sure Jenna doesn’t have any plans for us.”
“We should go to dinner,” I said impulsively. “Since last night…”
Laci flushed hotly. “I think I preferred last night,” she said. “But dinner sounds nice.”
I grinned. “Good,” I told her. “Can I pick you up?”
Laci nodded. “I’ll call you as soon as I talk to Jenna.” She twisted her wet hair into a knot at the back of her head and shivered. “It looks like it’s going to rain,” she added, looking out the window. “The sun hasn’t even come out yet.”
“I should go into the office for a few hours,” I said. “Want me to drop you off at home?”
Laci nodded again. “That would be nice,” she said gratefully. “Thanks.”
Laci dried her hair with a towel as I dressed in a casual suit. By the time we were ready to go, it was almost noon. Part of me was tempted to blow off work, especially knowing that Laci was done with school for her summer vacation. But when I’d checked my email that morning, I’d seen a bunch of emails from Megan and Pat, and I knew I couldn’t push aside my duties at Trading West…at least, not today.
When we pulled up in front of Laci’s apartment building, she leaned in for a deep kiss. She wrapped her arms around my neck and sighed softly as I slid my tongue into her mouth. We made out like teenagers, groping and grabbing at each other until I felt breathless and hard, as if I could take her right there and then. To my chagrin, Laci pulled away and tidied her hair before glancing nervously out the window.
“Jenna could see,” she said anxiously, still flushing with obvious desire.
I shrugged. “She’s an adult,” I said. “She’s going to see people kissing.”
Laci wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, but her older sister shouldn’t be one of them,” she said. In that moment, I knew exactly how she must sound in the classroom while instructing her kids.
“I don’t wanna let you go,” I told her, reaching for her hand and squeezing it. Suddenly, I felt the urgent need to tell Laci everything, right here and now. “Hey, Laci?”
“Yeah?” Laci frowned. She wasn’t looking at me, rather she was digging around in her purse. She seemed distracted. “What is it?”
“Can I talk to you?”
Laci must have sensed the immediacy in my voice, as she quickly lifted her head and faced me. “What is it, Jordan? Is everything okay?”
I sighed.
Suddenly, a loud rap on the window made Laci squeak and jump. Jenna was standing there, bending over and staring into the car.
“Laci!” Jenna yelped. She laughed. “Come on – you’re going to get a ticket!”
Laci turned to me with an apologetic look on her face. “Maybe this isn’t the best time,” she said. She leaned over and kissed my cheek with warm, soft lips. “Can we talk later? After dinner?”
“Sure,” I said hollowly. As I watched Laci climb out of the car and walk inside the apartment building with her sister, I felt a wave of depression crest and break over my head. I felt like the biggest coward in the world – what was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just suck it up and be honest?
The rest of the day plodded along. When I went into Trading West, the office was a beehive of activity and as usual, I had no interest in joining in. I told Megan to hold all of my calls and I locked myself in my office with a bunch of third-quarter paperwork. Most of our trading programs had achieved solid gains in the second quarter, but I wanted more. I wanted Trading West to be the biggest firm in the country.
Deep down, I wondered if it was because that would somehow make me into a man worth Laci’s time.
After I was finished at the office, I went home and took a long shower. I was anxious – I’d made reservations for a fancy steak house, but I had no idea how I was going to broach the subject of my past with Laci. If I was unlucky, she’d bring it up. There was no doubt she’d remember my asking her if we could talk. But if she didn’t? What then? How was I supposed to bring it up – over canapes and wine? Or was I supposed to wait until dessert, when we were tipsy and full?
Either way, I knew it was going to provide the shock of a lifetime for Laci.
And I wasn’t sure how I felt about doing that to her. You’re such an idiot, I thought as I adjusted the knot of my silk tie. She’s going to be hurt and blindsided, and it’s all your fucking fault for not being honest with her sooner.
Laci was waiting outside of her apartment building when I showed up. She bounced over to the car, looking radiant in a sundress and heels that made her long legs look even longer. She grinned when she saw me.
“Did you have a good day at work?” Laci asked as she climbed into the car. “How did everything go?”
Oh, it was hellish, I thought. But instead I forced a smile. “I locked myself in my office and had my girl hold all of my calls,” I replied. “So, it wasn’t too bad.”
“Jordan!” Laci giggled. “You’re so bad.” She tossed her head. “I bet the people you work with think you’re such a buzzkill.”
I shrugged. “I’m not there to make friends,” I said. “I’m there to run the company.” I looked over at Laci, trying to gauge her interest in my professional life. She was sitting at the edge of her seat, like I was about to tell the world’s most fascinating fairy tale. “We did well in the second quarter of this year – nothing but gains, even in our most high-risk, aggressive trading programs.”
Laci nodded. “I’m going to look very serious so you think I know what you’re talking about,” she said. “Someday, you’ll have to show me.”
“It’s easy,” I lied. “But I want to do even better next quarter.”
“Does that mean longer hours?”
“Not necessarily.” I reached across the seat and took Laci’s hand. “How was your day?”
Laci grinned. “I took a nap, then Jenna and I went out to shop for clothes,” she said. “I got her a bunch of things for school.” She rolled her eyes. “She’s already acting like she’s so independent.”
“So, it’s only a matter of time before she moves out and you can move in,” I said slyly, raising an eyebrow at Laci.
Laci flushed. “Maybe,” she said. “I don’t want her going crazy. She’s never lived on her own before. She doesn’t even know how to do her own laundry.”
The car rolled to a slow stop and I gestured out the window so Laci could see.
“Does this look good?” I narrowed my eyes. “I know steak is boring, but I was craving some red meat.”
Laci grinned. “It sounds perfect,” she said.
I took Laci’s hand and led her inside. I had to admit, one of my favorite things about Laci was that she was always game for anything that I could think of. It didn’t matter if we were having Indian or Japanese or plain old American cuisine – Laci loved everything.
A hostess showed us to a booth in the back and handed over thick menus bound in red leather. Laci glanced down for a few seconds.
“So,” she asked, without glancing up. “What did you want to talk about earlier?”
I sighed. “I think it would be better to do this after dinner,” I replied as I glanced around the restaurant. It was crowded, and I didn’t feel like having some of the wealthiest people in Boston overhear my ridiculously awful story.
Laci frowned. She bit her lip and set the menu down on the table. “Jordan, is something wrong?”
“No,” I lied. “Everything is fine, I swear.”
“Is this about us?”
“No,” I said. “It’s not, Laci. I wish you’d relax – can you try to do that for me?”
Laci stared at me. “It’s just a little disconcerting,” she replied. “I mean, Jordan, I love you and I trust you. But most people hear ‘we need to talk’ and they freak out. It makes me nervous.”
I reached across the table and took her hand in mine, hoping to reassure her.
“I don’t want you to worry about anything,” I said. “Really.”
Laci looked up and nodded. I was relieved to see that she looked a little calmer, at least for now. “Hey,” Laci said. “Someone’s coming over here – do you know him?”
My heart sank as I turned around and saw James striding toward the table. His hands were shoved deeply in his pockets and he had a smug, cocky look on his face. His dark hair was slicked back and he was wearing a dark suit with a dark shirt underneath.
“Yeah,” I said drily. “That’s my brother.”
“Oh, really?” Laci’s eyes lit up and she clasped her hands together. “Oh my god, Jordan! I can’t believe I finally get to meet him!”
“Don’t be too excited,” I said warily. “He doesn’t look like he’s in a good mood.”
James stopped by the side of our table, looking down at me with an amused smirk on his face. “So, big brother,” James said. “This must be the girl we heard so much about.”
Laci’s cheeks pinked with pleasure. “I’m Laci Wright,” she said. “It’s nice to meet you – Jordan has told me so much about you.”
I stifled a wince as James burst out laughing. “I hope not too much,” James replied. He grinned at me. “After all, Jordan is the black sheep of our family – I can’t imagine that he had all that much to say.”
Laci’s smile faded and she glanced at me, frowning slightly. “Jordan, what is he talking about?”
“Nothing,” I said. “James, it was great to see you.”
James laughed. “Whoa, hold on there,” he said. “Who said I was leaving? I’m waiting for Hanna and the baby, but they’re late. Traffic – you know how it is,” he added with a smirk.
“Do you want to sit with us?” Laci offered kindly. For the first time since meeting her, I cursed her good heart. “I don’t mind, and I’m sure Jordan doesn’t mind, either.”
James chuckled. “Sure,” he said. He winked at Laci. “But only if I can sit next to you.”
“No chance,” I said. My voice was practically a low growl. I scooted over and patted the bench. “And if this is too small, well, then I guess you’ll just have to wait at the bar.”
Laci was giving me an odd look. I forced a big smile at her as I moved over. James huffed a sigh before sitting down in the booth and putting his hands on the table.
“So, this place is pretty trendy,” James said. He picked up a menu and glanced down at the prices, then whistled. “Whoa there, Jord,” he said. “You’re really aiming for the big guns.”
“Laci has good taste,” I said drily.
James smiled. “She can’t have too much of that,” he cracked. “After all, she’s with you.”
If the situation had been any different – if I’d been a normal guy, a regular dude who had made an honest living for his entire life, I would have laughed. I might have even joined in, gently teasing Laci about what she was doing with someone like me.
But no. This wasn’t normal. James knew exactly what he was doing. It was clear from what he said and his actions that he knew I had yet to disclose my past to Laci.
And goddamnit, his timing couldn’t have possibly been any worse.
“I like Jordan,” Laci said defensively. I was pleased to see she wasn’t offended. “I’ve never met someone as funny, or kind.”
James stared at her for a moment before laughing. “You’re kidding,” he said. “Have you ever had a boyfriend?”
The smug smile on Laci’s face disappeared and I squashed my powerful urge to punch my younger brother right in the jaw.
“No,” Laci snapped. She turned to me and narrowed her eyes. “But I’m starting to understand why Jordan never wanted to tell me about his family before.” Her nostrils flared defensively as she spoke. “Because if they’re all jerks like you, I wouldn’t even want to hear about them.”
“Whoa, there,” James said. He snorted, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t be so quick to throw around accusations,” he said slowly. “But I think I see my wife over there.” James got to his feet, brushing his hands off on his thighs. “Laci, it was delightful to meet you,” he said. “I just hope my loser of a brother treats you right.”
When James had walked away, Laci and I sat there in stunned silence.
“What was that about?” Laci asked softly.
I sighed and reached for the bottle of wine, refilling her glass to the brim. “That was what I wanted to talk to you about.”