Satisfied to see that he’d at least managed to stun the indomitable woman he wanted to marry into silence, Devil enjoyed the heavenly quiet while it lasted. If he knew Molly, it wouldn’t be a long wait. Better to simply bask in the moment when it presented itself.
After a few more moments of prolonged stillness, he watched as realization donned in her intelligent emerald eyes, her gaze losing some of its stupefied shock. Finally! Maybe now they could get down to the business of discussing their upcoming nuptials.
“So, you’re gay,” she finally said simply as if it was the most logical conclusion in the world.
Whoa! Back the truck up! Devil’s jaw fell open at her quiet words and he shook his head in automatic denial.
“It’s okay if you’re gay!” Molly said quickly, lifting a hand to pat his arm consolingly as she smiled supportively at him. “I don’t mind at all. You don’t need to deny it to me. Am I the first person you’ve managed to come out to or did all your lady friends know that they were part of your cover story? Do you have a boyfriend?” she asked excitedly, grabbing her coffee mug and rising from her chair.
Watching as she crossed to the sink and rinsed her cup, he shook his head. “Molly…”
“This explains so much, Devil! I mean, really, what straight, Southern man prefers Earl Grey tea to black coffee?” she asked thoughtfully as she stared out the kitchen window.
“My grandfather drank that tea. They were immigrants. I grew up on it,” he retorted, trying to justify his choice. Why in the world was he discussing tea when she had just accused him of playing for the other team?
“And your clothes!” Molly continued, unaware of the rapidly deteriorating mental condition of the man standing behind her. “Gay men really do dress well. I should have seen that in you. You’re never without a suit, and it always has to be the best,” she murmured to herself. “No J.C. Penney specials for you. Armani and Hugo Boss are the only ticket for today’s homosexual man. Sami told me that once awhile back, but now I know it’s true.”
“I’m a businessman! Suits are like my uniform,” he yelped, running a hand across his now-sweaty brow as he stared at her back in horror. “And I’m rich! Of course, I use designer labels.” He could feel himself losing traction as she turned and looked at him, propping her hands on her hips.
“Then there’s that fastidious attention you pay to your appearance. For God’s sake! You have a massage once a week, and then there’s that mani-pedi that you had me schedule…”
“I’ve got a bad back,” he almost whimpered, rapidly recognizing that he was fighting a losing battle here. Holy God, the woman was convinced his boat floated in another damn ocean! “You play rugby on a college team for four years and see if you don’t need a rubdown every once in a while. And for your information, that mani-pedi was a gift from a client. I couldn’t very well say no to it. I did it once.” Shaking his head, he heard the desperation edging his voice and fought to control his rising panic. “I’m not gay!”
“Devil,” Molly replied, drying her hands on a dishtowel and tossing it back to the sink, “There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of here. I understand completely why you’ve remained in the closet, but, sweetie, even a walk-in is going to feel small after a while.”
“I’m not in the closet!” he yelled as the vein in his temple began to throb. Christ, was this a stroke? Wasn’t he supposed to smell bacon or toast or something? He never should have postponed that last physical.
“Of course you’re not. Not anymore,” Molly said understandingly, patting his arm sympathetically. “You just came out to me.”
“No, I didn’t!”
“Listen, I understand you wanting to keep up your reputation. Nana was born in a different world, and you’re right. I don’t think she’d understand your life choices. People her age often don’t understand that folks don’t get a choice about their sexuality. But after she passes, you should really consider taking a stand, Devil. You just stand up to all those competitors of yours and tell them the truth! You’re here, and you’re queer! Own it, baby!”
Devil’s throat worked, but no words came out. Dear God, maybe this really was a stroke. Wasn’t speech the first thing to go?
“You’ll be an example to all the young men in Atlanta that a man can be successful and gay at any age. It’s never too late to come out of the closet!”
Devil shook his head furiously, gripping the back of a chair to steady himself. “Nonononononono!”
“Now, don’t panic,” Molly soothed quickly, hurrying to his side. “Given the circumstances, of course I’ll help you. I’ll make an excellent beard. That’s what I’d be called, right?”
“What?” Devil asked blankly. He could hear the words, but he wasn’t certain he comprehended anything any longer.
“The wedding, Dev. I’ll do it. I’m just so relieved. Last night, when we were intimate, I was a little worried about Little Devil, you know,” she said with a knowing look at his crotch.
“Pardon me?” he choked, barely able to form coherent words.
“Well, honey, it didn’t seem very big at all. Now, I know why,” she declared brightly with a beaming smile.
Devil nearly swallowed his tongue. Not very big at all! “My equipment was plenty big! You were drunk,” he blustered as his heart pounded in his chest. Now, she insulted his cock? Was there no END to this indignity?
“Uh huh,” Molly agreed solemnly, her tone fully supportive. “I’m positive that what you have is plenty adequate to fulfill your partner’s needs, Devil.”
“My partner?” he almost shrieked as he gripped the chair for support. “I don’t have a partner, Molly! I’m going to have a wife, and what I’ve got goin’ on downstairs is more than enough to satisfy…”
“Dev, I don’t think it’s politically correct to call your significant other your wife.” Molly frowned as she pressed a finger to her lips. Shaking her head, she continued, “I feel certain that all the homosexuals I know refer to their other half as a partner. I mean, I suppose lesbians could get away with wife, but men should really stick with partner. Or spouse. Spouse works, too. It doesn’t signify one half as the feminine component. Unless you’re into butch/fem, and if you are, I’m perfectly okay with that, too,” she added with another brilliant smile at him.
“When the hell did you become an aficionado of gay lingo?” he roared. Jesus, she had him ready to rip out his hair and run screaming from the condo.
“Well, I think some things are just common sense, Devil.” Molly shrugged. “At any rate, I’m sure what you possess in that area,” she said, waving a hand again toward his groin, “is more than enough to keep your boyfriend satisfied.”
She was trying to kill him. She had to be. Had she taken out a life insurance policy on him that he knew nothing about? She had been his assistant for over a year… more than enough time for a policy to vest. It’d be easy for her to do. After all, she was probably quite proficient at forging his signature by now.
“I…I…I…,” he stuttered, unable to get a coherent sentence past his lips.
“I think you should go to the hospital and visit Nana,” Molly suggested with a patient look. “We can discuss all the pesky details later, okay? I’ll swing by your house tonight. Say sevenish? I have to meet the girls at noon for our weekly lunch. If I don’t show up, they’ll send out the National Guard,” she explained, giving him a gentle shove toward her front door.
“But, Molly…”
“Now, I don’t want you to worry about a thing. You just go tell Nana that she’s going to get her wedding, and we’ll figure out a way to make your boyfriend understand everything.” Urging him through her living room, she patted his back in a reassuring matter. “You’ll see,” she informed him serenely, “Everything is just gonna work out fine.”
On that final note, Molly pushed Devil out of her condo and closed the front door in his face.
Looking around at his seemingly normal surroundings as he stood on her small front porch, he shook his head in confusion. The sun was still shining. The birds were still singing. For him, however, the world felt like it was suddenly moving in incredibly slow motion.
“What the fuck just happened?” he asked aloud as he stared at the closed door in dismay.