Devil

It was the wedding that almost wasn’t. 

At least, that’s how he referred to it in his mind.  He’d learned the hard way not to speak such blasphemy aloud in his wife’s presence.  The faint, but visible bruises that he carried on the inside of his wrist was proof of the matrimonial terrorism she chose to employ when she disagreed with his casual observation.  Could he really help it if he was blunt to a fault?  According to Molly, the answer was a resounding YES.

Nobody, however could disagree with the fact that his amazing wife had, indeed, accomplished a minor miracle today and successfully orchestrated the commitment ceremony of two of their best friends.  He would have liked to have been able to say this special day had gone off without a hitch.  Unfortunately, he wasn’t a very good liar.  NO, fate, fickle and capricious fate, had once again reared her ugly head and decided to screw with them all out of sheer, unmitigated spite.     

He wished he could say he was surprised.  But again, he couldn’t lie for shit.

Instead, he glanced up into the heavens and noted the now bright and sun-filled skies shining down on the gathered masses.  Deftly shifting his sleeping daughter to his other shoulder, he shook his head in disgust and recalled exactly what those friendly skies had looked like first thing this morning.

A freakish thunderstorm, which, incidentally, had not been predicted by any of the so-called professionals working at any of the news stations of Atlanta, had blown through the neighborhood and drenched the back yard (which, funnily enough, was Armando and Molly’s chosen venue for the wedding). While Molly had screamed her horror at the deluge, Devil had made the monumental mistake of making the tasteless joke that perhaps topless mud wrestling could be added to the day’s itinerary of events.  Come on, people!  It would have been singularly unique and everybody knew it.

At least, that’s how he’d reasoned it out.  Could he really help it if he was surrounded with naysayers?  Of course, he couldn’t.  From there, Molly had done much more than simply pinch him.  Weaponry of all sorts was suddenly being employed and hurled in his general direction.

Suffice it to say that it had been a long morning, and he was still giving serious consideration to suing those wannabes that claimed to be meteorologists.  He was fairly sure that he had a case for the decimation of false and inaccurate information.  He was almost positive that Vivian would agree to represent him.  Unlike Molly’s other friend, Sami, she actually appeared to be able to tolerate his existence.

“Devil.”

Turning slightly in his folding chair, he couldn’t help the small groan that escaped as he saw who was calling his name.  “Think of the diva, and she shall appear, Devlynn. Remember that,” he murmured to his slumbering daughter. 

“I heard that, you asshole,” Sami groused, as she continued toward his table, her baby pink strapless bridesmaid gown flowing around her legs.

“I wasn’t trying to be quiet,” he returned, patting Devlynn’s back as she stirred against him and frowning as the blonde bombshell pulled out a chair and sat down at the table beside him.  All around them, workers were folding up tables and chairs and loading them into the pair of vans the events company had provided.  The last of the guests had departed less than half an hour earlier, and the only folks remaining were those that Molly counted as family.  His eyes turned to the woman that had just sat down.  “So, how’s it going in there?” he asked, lifting his chin and jerking it toward the back door.

Sami groaned and wrinkled her nose.  “About as you’d expect.  The wedding photographer just finished in the living room and the boys that Molly hired are waiting to take down the silk bunting in the dining room and den.  I’m surprised there aren’t cops blocking the rooms off with crime scene tape.  I swear it looks like a bloodbath happened in there.  Honestly, what was Mols thinkin’ when she allowed Mannie to choose those wedding colors.  Crimson and roses?  Why didn’t you just contact the blood bank and have ‘em spray the joint?” she asked with a delicate shudder.

“Now, Sami,” Viv chided, tossing her dark shoulder-length hair over her shoulder as she joined them at the table.  “You know that Mannie had his heart absolutely set on those colors.  He said it was the color of love or some mess like that, remember?”

“Oh, I remember,” Devil grunted.  “But between you two and me, I agree with Vivian.  I felt like I was visiting a crime scene when I walked into the dining room.”

“If I was you, I’d keep that to myself when Molly gets out here for a breath of fresh air.  “I think she’s still a mite rattled from the tuxedo incident.”

“What tuxedo incident?” Devil asked, looking from one of Molly’s best friends to the other.

“You didn’t hear?” Sami asked with a sly smile.

“Sami,” Viv warned.

“Oh, but this is toooo good, Vivi,” Sami whispered, her smile growing exponentially larger as Viv glared at her.  “Lemmee tell ‘em!”

Closing her eyes, Vivian shook her head, “You are so lucky he’s holding Devlynn,” she murmured.

Tired of the byplay, Devil offered Sami a hard look.  “Talk.”

“Well, you know how everybody was rushin’ around this morning, tryin’ to get everything moved inside while the boys were getting on their tuxedos, right?”

Oh yeah, he remembered.  He also remembered the epic battle that had taken place regarding those fuckin’ tuxes a few days back when Armando had had his heart set on some New Age red velvet monstrosity he’d found while out shopping with Molly  while Nick had strongly wanted to stick to tradition and wear his tastefully simple black Armani.  That fight that had transpired had been almost as big as the one they’d had when Armando had learned Nick hadn’t told his parents about him.  He was convinced that guilt was the only reason Nick had agreed to compromise and let Mannie wear the tux of his choice while Nick wore the traditional one that he already owned. 

“I remember, Samantha.  Get to the point.”

“Oh, she is,” Viv muttered, a faint blush staining her cheeks.

“Well, Nick got ready upstairs in one of the guest bedrooms without a single hitch,” Sami explained easily. 

“So,” Devil prodded impatiently, switching his daughter to the other shoulder and rocking gently from side to side when she squirmed against his chest.

“So, our Armando didn’t have as easy a time.  I guess our boy did a little stress eating during the past few days and gained a couple of pounds because his tux didn’t go on quite so easy.  The poor bastard had both Molly and Viv, here, in your bedroom tryin’ to stuff him in that get-up he chose.”

“Well, obviously they were successful,” Devil shrugged.  “After all, I was at the wedding, Samantha.”

“Oh, they were!  But didn’t you notice how Mannie walked a little funny down the aisle.”

Devil thought back to that moment and slowly nodded.  Mannie had been moving a little slow, but he’d just assumed that like any diva, he was savoring his moment.  “Come to think of it, yeah,” he agreed, looking up to see Sami barely holding back her giggles while Vivian’s face had turned as red as a beet.  “Oh dear God,” he said softly.  “What happened?”

“Well, in her eagerness to get Mannie down to his matrimonial mark at the altar, your wife got a little over excited zipping Armando’s fly.  Let’s just say that Little Mannie got caught in a bind between some big metal teeth,” Sami choked before breaking into deep belly laughs.

Vivian picked up the story at that point.  “It was horrible, Devil,” she whispered.  “Mannie was hoppin’ around like a wet tomcat, his winkie wavin’ in the wind, screamin’ like a woman.  And poor Molly, she was a-chasin’ him, trying to get her hands on his little fella so she could release him, but Armando was just like one of those Mexican jumpin’ beans.  Here, then there.  It was just awful!  Molly finally just had to tackle him to the floor and grab hold of his…. flag staff while I tried to pull the zipper down.”

Devil’s eyes watered as he tried to hold back the sounds of his own laughter.  “And then?” he rasped.

“Well, we got that fish off the hook, but I’m not sure his boat will ever float down the river the same way.  Bless his heart, I don’t think poor Armando will ever be able to look at me or Molly in the eye again either.  To add insult to injury, the poor thing had to walk down the aisle with two Elmo Band-Aids on his little ole tallywacker.  His abused ding-a-ling looked like something had bit it.  Twice!”

“It’ll be quite the conversation piece for him and Nick tonight on their honeymoon,” Sami wheezed, still laughing.

Frowning, Vivian looked between Sami and Devil as their laughter got louder and narrowed her eyes dangerously.  “I want you both to know that I think you’re probably going to hell.  This isn’t funny!  Molly, Mannie, and I are traumatized!”

“I’ll see about getting’ y’all some group therapy,” Devil returned, wiping his eyes as he finally was able to get control of himself.

“That’s sweet, but sadly, I won’t be here for a few weeks,” Viv informed the pair.

“Where you goin’?” Sami questioned, her blonde eyebrows furrowing.

“Out of town for work.  One of the many gifts that being made partner at the firm got me.  I swear, I can’t remember why I wanted it so badly,” Vivian grumbled, tucking her hair behind her ear with one hand as the other adjusted the bodice on her strapless gown.  “In fact, I leave in just under an hour.  The firm is sending a car for me.”

“And exactly where exactly are they having you shipped?” Sami asked unhappily.

“Paradise, Tennessee.  Prior to making partner, I’d heard that my firm took on a new client.  Diego Fuentes,” Vivian explained.

Devil’s shoulders tightened at the mention of that name.  “Diego Fuentes?  The same Fuentes that has family members in a notorious drug cartel?  Vivian, I’m not sure….”

Vivian held up a hand.  “Innocent until proven guilty, Devil.  Plus, he’s my firm’s client.  There’s nothing I can do.  I can’t refuse a client just because the name makes me nervous.  Besides, he’s not a member of the cartel.”

“He’s a Fuentes, Viv!” Sami exclaimed, her worried face blanching to a pasty white.

“He’s my client, and he’s turning state’s evidence to take down his father.  He’s not that bad,” Vivian returned calmly.  “Don’t worry,” she told her friends.  “And for heaven’s sake, don’t tell Mannie and Molly until after I leave.”

“Gee, thanks.  Leaving me with the fallout.  That’s kind of you, Viv.  You’re a real peach, darlin’,” Devil growled sarcastically.   Taking a deep breath, he frowned as he looked at Molly’s friend.  Hell, his friend, too.  “You get in any trouble up there, you call me.”

“You gonna rush in and play white knight, Devil,” Sami asked with a smirk.

“Probably not, but I’ll sure as hell pay a lot of money to somebody who will,” he replied with a wink at Vivian.

Rising, Vivian brushed off her dress.  “It’ll be fine, y’all, but I do need to get going.  I’ve already hugged Mannie and Nick so I’m just gonna slip out.”

Sami and Devil both rose to hug her.  “Seriously, honey, you get so much as a creepy feeling, you call me,” Devil ordered the younger woman.  “I’ll hire a bodyguard for you so fast that Fuentes’ head will spin.”

“Not necessary, but thanks.  I’ll call soon,” she said.  And with one final wave, she disappeared around the side of the house.

Resuming their seats, Devil shook his head.  “Not sure how I feel about that,” he said, nodding to where Viv had just disappeared.

“She’s smart, Dev.  If she needs help, she’ll sing out,” Sami assured him, sneezing three times in quick succession and glaring at the orchid centerpieces.  “Aren’t those supposed to be roses?” she asked as she lifted a hand to rub her itchy nose.

“Shhh, don’t say that too loud or….”

“Or what, Devil?” Molly asked, appearing out of nowhere behind him and smacking her husband on the shoulder.  “Or I’ll lose what little is left of my mind?  Is that what you were going to say?”

Smiling at his gorgeous wife over his shoulder, he shook his head.  “Of course not.  Saying something stupid like that might cause you to force feed me that sandpaper tasting thing masquerading as a wedding cake,” he reasoned, scooting his chair back and pulling Molly down to sit on one of his legs.  “Take a load off, beautiful.  It’s all over except for the cryin’,” he soothed, rubbing a hand up and down her back.

“I swear, I’m gonna sue both the florists and the baker,” Molly vowed under her breath, glaring at what was left of the surprisingly pretty wedding cake.  “Who the hell would order gluten-free for a wedding cake?  I think I’d remember if I’d asked for that!  And to answer your question, Sami – yes, they were supposed to be roses.  Evidently something happened to the florist’s shipment and this is what we got,” she said, nodding toward the elegant centerpieces.  “Freakin’ orchids.”

“As Mannie has already said, ‘Chill, chica!  It’s all good!’” Sami said, repeating one of the groom’s earlier words right down to the accent.  “Seriously, Mols.  You got ‘em married off.  Your work here is DONE.”

“Not quite yet,” Molly moaned, eyeing the back door nervously.

“What do you mean ‘not yet’?” Devil growled, shifting the baby into Molly’s arms when she reached for the dozing child. 

“Our grooms of the hour are still inside.  Fighting,” Molly shared with a heavy sigh.

“Over what?” Sami asked blankly.  “Did you tell Nick that you knew what kind of pistol Mannie was packin’?  I told you, Molly.  Honesty isn’t always the best policy.” the blonde model chastised with a disappointed shake of her head.

“No!  Not about that!” Molly hissed as her cheeks reddened.  “And I told you, that didn’t happen.  I’ve now formally blocked those horrible minutes from my memory.  The latest argument is about the honeymoon.  Or, more specifically, what the destination of said honeymoon will be.  See, they both bought tickets to surprise the other.  Romantic, right?”

“I’d think so,” Sami replied, propping her chin in her hand.

“You’d be wrong,” Molly grumbled, holding Devlynn closer as she settled back against Devil’s chest.

“So, what are the two destinations up for decision?” Devil asked, sliding his arm around Molly’s waist as he brushed a kiss against her neck and ogled the lovely expanse of creamy skin bared by her strapless dress   Damn, she was beautiful. Right now, he wanted to give the designer a cash bonus.

“We’re going to Aruba!” Mannie shouted as he slid open the sliding patio door and stepped outside into the sunny afternoon.  “Sun, surf, and sand, Nicky!  Those are key ingredients to a happy honeymoon!”

“Armando, I rented us an entire Swiss chalet,” Nick countered, ready to state his case.  “Hot cocoa snuggled by the fireplace on a bear rug….”

“I would rather be naked and swimming in the ocean,” Mannie yelled passionately, stomping down the stone steps.

“Never mind, I think I got it,” Devil mumbled into Molly’s neck, watching the newly wedded couple head their way, both of them stone-faced and ready to do serious battle. 

“Molly, we need an impartial party to help us,” Mannie yelled at Molly.  “Tell this foolish husband of mine that Aruba is much more suitable to a honeymoon destination.  One week on the sandy surf is much more romantic than shivering to death in the Alps!  Tell him, chica!  Tell him!”

“We are NOT going to freeze, you drama queen!  The chalet has heat – and a hot tub!” Nick spat, dropping his hands and propping them on his hips.

Shifting Molly off his lap and into the seat beside him, Devil rose, put two fingers to his lips and whistled sharply.  “Okay, enough,” he growled.  Taking a deep breath, he looked at the two men he considered family.  “Okay, you got a week on the beach, right, Mannie?”

“Si, and our bungalow faces the ocean, Papi,” he added with a conceited lift of his chin.

Turning to focus on Nick, he asked, “How long do you have the chalet?”

“Two weeks,” Nick groused.  “And I’ll see his bungalow and raise him a Jacuzzi on the deck of the chalet and a masseuse on-call 24 hours a day!”

“Ohhhh, that sounds nice,” Sami whispered to Molly.  “I’d go with the chalet.”

Looking over his shoulder, Mannie turned his angry eyes toward Sami.  “Yet another Judas in my midst.  Et tu, Brute?”

“You’ll get over it.” Sami shrugged carelessly.

“Do both,” Devil stated decisively. 

“Huh?” both men questioned in unison.

“Do both,” Devil repeated.  “Allow me to save the world from some scorched Earth.  I’m ordering you to take some extra time and visit both locations.  I have it on good authority that your boss will give you both the time off,” he offered with a shrug.  “He’s already got your replacement lined up,” he informed them, turning to wink at a beaming Molly.

“Really?” Armando squeezed, cupping his junk as he jumped up and down in his red velvet tuxedo.

“Really,” Devil confirmed, rolling his eyes at Mannie’s theatrics while Nick looked at the plane tickets in his hand.

“I hate to break up the party, but if we’re doing this, we gotta go.  Our flight leaves for Aruba in ninety minutes,” he told Mannie.

A flurry of hugs and goodbyes ensued and a short time later, Devil and Molly were waving off the trio of friends.  Mannie and Nick were off on their honeymoon adventure and Samantha was driving them to the airport. 

Leaning her head against Devil’s chest as she held their baby in her arms, Molly sighed as she watched Sami’s convertible disappear around the curve.  “Well, she whispered, “It’s done.”

“It is,” Devil agreed, tightening his arm around his wife.  “And all we got on this crazy trip was a few scorch marks to remind us where we’ve been,” he added with a grin.

Tilting her head, Molly laughed.  “Better to be scorched by my Devil than burned by anyone else, honey.”

Smiling widely, Devil nodded and pressed a kiss to Molly’s forehead.  “And don’t you forget it Molly.  Don’t ever forget.”

 

The End