Fate was conspiring to ruin her perfect day.

Molly longingly eyed the window in the basement of the church and wondered if she should just make a run for it.

Nobody could really blame her if she escaped.  Like tiny escalating omens intent on signifying doom and despair, today’s events had almost convinced her that she wasn’t supposed to marry Devil Delancy.

And the last disaster had topped them all.  This one almost had her believing that if she married Devil, locusts would descend from the heavens and fire would rain down on all their heads.

Singed was not a good look on her.  Of this, she was certain.

“I know that look,” Samantha murmured behind her.  “She’s getting ready to bolt, Viv.  And she’s gonna ask us to give her the boost,” she added darkly, gesturing at the rectangular window above their heads.

“Chica,” Mannie implored from beside her, “You can not ditch your day.  That delicious hombre of yours would be muy pissed,” he warned, planting his hands on his hips as he followed Samantha’s gaze toward the window. 

“Mannie is right,” Vivian agreed, taking a step forward and straightening the seams of her form-fitting lavender bridesmaid dress. She leaned forward to grab Molly’s wrist when it looked like her friend would try to crawl up the wall to pitch herself out the window.  “There have been some small issues, but it isn’t anything we can’t handle,” she consoled the tiny bride calmly.

Turning sharply on her pointy high heel, Molly glared at her friends.  “You’re kidding, right?  Small issues?  You call these small issues?” she screeched, the sound echoing sharply off of the cinder-block walls.

“Uh oh,” Mannie murmured, taking a step backward as the normally calm Molly morphed into a tiny tornado, “I think she’s gonna huff and puff and blow us alllllll down.”

“Molly, stay calm,” Sami ordered, holding out her hands as her redheaded bestie vibrated with barely contained rage.  “It’s all going to work out.”

“The caterers screwed up on the date and have no food ready – they aren’t even showing up! The wedding cake was dropped - TWICE, the minister has food poisoning and now – after all that – we find out that half the guest list – including my parents and my brother who happens to be Devil’s best man - is trapped on the interstate behind about three thousand oranges rolling all over the place from an overturned Florida Produce semi!” Molly shrieked, stomping toward the trio of alarmed friends facing her.  “Add that to the fact that nobody can get my boobs shoved into this fucking couture wedding gown,” she yelled, grabbing her exposed breasts and shaking them for emphasis, “And I think we can all safely say that these are not SMALL ISSUES!”

“I think we’ve officially reached Molly’s Wedding Defcon One,” Sami noted under her breath.   

“Is there a nuclear bunker I can dive into anywhere close, mi hermanas?” Mannie asked in a hushed voice. 

“Cancel it!” Molly exclaimed loudly, waving her arms in the air as her breasts heaved against the ivory corset she wore beneath her wedding gown.  “I surrender to the Fates!  The wedding is off!”

Nobody in the room had time to refute Molly’s statement.  The pounding on the closed door of the Sunday School room where they stood would have drowned out anything anyone tried to say, anyway. 

“I heard that!” an irate Devil Delancy shouted from outside the room.  “Open the door, Molly,” he demanded, pounding his fist against the plywood door with a force that shook it on its hinges.  “We are NOT canceling our wedding!  Unlock the door,” he demanded, rattling the doorknob.

“Hmmm, listen to Rambo roar,” Mannie breathed, eyeing the door with wide eyes as he smoothed the lapels of his lavender tux jacket.  “He’s like a big growly bear out there!  Ghrrr!!”  He curled his fingers into a claw and batted the air.  Eyes drifting toward Molly, he smiled as he wriggled his dark eyebrows.  “That’s just muy caliente, bambina.  All that fire…all that fury… that is one beast in need of a serious taming.” 

Watching his makeshift paw stroke his jacket, Molly wasn’t sure how Armando made that look work for him, but there was no doubting that it did.  With his swarthy skin and dark eyes, the light purple color just popped on his body.  She rolled her eyes at his statement, however.  “Beasts like him can’t be tamed, Mannie,” she muttered, ignoring Devil’s furious curses outside the closed door.  “My wedding is being ruined and you’re impersonating a bear in heat,” she groaned, running her fingers through her hair restlessly as Devil’s banging on the door intensified.  “Somebody shoot me.  Or, better yet, hoist me out that window!” she yelled, jabbing a finger toward the ceiling again.

“Anybody that helps her out that window will answer to me,” Devil shouted back through the door.  “Personally!”

“Okay,” Vivian declared with a sigh, “I think things may be getting a little out of control here.”

“A little?” Molly echoed with a weak laugh.  “Look around you, Vivian.  This is a bona fide disaster.  Even my freaking wedding bouquet has wilted from the stress,” she moaned, gesturing toward the limp roses resting on the low table in the center of the room.

Vivian turned to exchange a look with Mannie and Samantha.  “I hate to say this, but I think we’re going to need to break with tradition again.”

Lifting a curious eyebrow, Sami simply met Vivian’s eyes. 

“Drastic times call for drastic measures,” Vivian muttered, stomping toward Armando.  “Mannie, give me your bow tie,” she ordered, holding out her hand.

“Como?” Mannie asked, tilting his head as he looked at Vivian’s outstretched palm.

“Your tie, Armando,” Vivian rapped out impatiently as Molly continued to rant behind her and Devil continued to batter the door to the room.  “Now.”

“I’d listen to her,” Sami murmured, “She only sounds like that when she cross-examines a reluctant witness.  That’s the badass bitch voice.”

“We are in the Lord’s house, Samantha,” Vivian chastised her friend as she watched Armando’s hands tug at the silk around his neck.

“Yeah, and the Lord is aware that that’s the badass bitch voice, too,” Sami returned, unconcerned by Vivian’s admonishment since the Lord and Savior she believed in didn’t take offense to honesty.  Nope, she was much more worried about the sassy wannabe runaway bride pulling a chair beneath the window.  “You might wanna hurry,” she warned Mannie, keeping one eye on Molly as she stacked another chair on top of the first, building her makeshift ladder to freedom with the supplies she had at her disposal.  They should all feel blessed she wasn’t stacking Bibles to climb her way out of here.

Snagging the now loose tie from around Armando’s neck, Vivian leveled Sami with a glare before stomping toward the rattling door.  “Step back, Devil Delancy and close your eyes,” she ordered.  Waiting a moment, she yelled, “Are they closed?”

“Mother of…yeah, they’re closed,” Devil’s voice growled back and Vivian opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

Meeting the brunette’s fierce eyes, Devil sighed.  “Vivian, I admire you for the strong, capable woman you are, but if you don’t let me in there to calm Molly down, I swear, I’m going to move you myself.”

Rolling her eyes in the face of his threat, Vivian snorted.  “I’ve dealt with cops and criminals, Devil.  You don’t scare me.  Turn around and hush for a second.”

“Why?” Devil asked, but he was already turning, automatically obeying the determined woman as she looped a piece of silk around his head and shielded his eyes.

“Because,” Vivian stated with exaggerated patience, “Even I’m not fool enough to think we can talk Molly off the ledge without your assistance.  Now, tradition says that you can’t see her,” she explained, tying the makeshift blindfold around his head.  “It doesn’t say you can’t talk to her.”  Taking his elbow, she guided him through the doorway and into the room with Molly.

“Thank you, Christ.  And Vivian,” Devil replied gratefully, holding his hand out in front of him and searching for Molly.  Touching a cool cheek, he smiled.  “Honey, you are not jilting me at the altar now,” he said firmly.

“Stud, I hadn’t planned on it,” Sami’s voice returned with an amused smirk in her voice.  “But then, I don’t think you’re looking for me.  Your bride-to-be is about six steps to the left and standing on a chair teetering precariously on a pair of kickass Manalo Blaniks.”

“What?” Devil yelped, stiffening as he reached up to shove the blindfold from his eyes.  Ripping the silk off his head, he shoved it against Armando’s chest before leaping across the room to snag Molly’s hips in his hands.  “What in the name of God are you doing?” he growled when she tottered precariously in his grip.

“Leaving,” Molly snarled, struggling to push open the stubborn window. 

“Obviously, he’s never seen Runaway Bride,” Mannie murmured to Sami as Vivian fumed.

“Devil, there was a blindfold over your eyes for a reason!  You just wanna invite more bad luck in and offer it a drink?” Viv hissed, stomping one heel shod foot against the floor angrily.

Wrapping his arms around his squirming escape artist’s satin-shrouded hips, Devil roared over his shoulder, “Everybody get OUT of here! NOW!!  Molly and I need to talk.  Molly, stop wrig- ….Ouch!”  Staring down at where his future wife had her teeth clamped around his forearm, Devil’s jaw dropped.  “You bit me!”

“Well, I’d like to knee you, but I’m facing the wrong way,” Molly hissed, releasing his flesh to glare over her shoulder at him while she continued to struggle.  “Let me go, Devil!  Our wedding is wrecked!”

“Not in this lifetime,” Devil retorted, tightening his arms as he met Samantha’s eyes.  “I need a minute.”

“Absolutely not,” Vivian denied sternly, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Viv,” Sami interrupted, giving Devil a slight nod.  “Devil Delancy is never gonna be a traditional guy, honey, but he’s what Molly needs right now.  We certainly aren’t getting the job done in here.  Let’s give them a few minutes alone,” she said, urging the other woman toward the door as Mannie followed behind them.

“Si! Si!  And maybe you could figure out how to take the knots outta my tie,” Mannie added, dangling the destroyed silk in front of her face.  “It looks like a noose, chica.  I cannot wear a noose to the wedding.”

Devil sighed as the door closed behind the terrible trio and turned Molly in his arms to face him.  “Now, darlin’, maybe you can tell me why you’re trying to climb out a window and leave me high and dry at the altar.”