Nora
“There,” I point. My finger glides along the map, tracing a faint line.
“No, that’s not it,” Eve says. Agent Brown sighs, her expression laced with a miniscule hint of frustration.
“Girls,” she says. “How is it you can’t agree on one road?”
I lean back, in my chair, frustrated. “That is definitely the road we took from Pocketville when we went into town. Nothing else looks familiar.”
Eve shoots daggers at me with her eyes, but I’m not lying. That is the road. “No, we definitely never turned left at the storage unit.”
“Maybe he took us different ways,” I say and cross my arms over my chest.
Eve shakes her head. Her eyes dart over the map. She squints, as if that will make everything make sense. Agent Brown looms over us. She circles the area I pointed to and marks a question mark on the paper. Eve points to an area miles away from my circle. “I swear, this is where we turned onto the dirt road,” she says. Agent Brown circles Eve’s location as well, with a question mark. She whips out her cell, like an addict desperate for a fix, and taps the screen repeatedly. My heart thrums and my mouth runs dry.
“I’d like to see Dr. Richardson,” I blurt.
Salve and Agent Brown’s eyes snap to mine. Eve couldn’t care less.
“Everything okay?” Detective Salve asks. I catch Agent Brown roll her eyes. She sees me watching her and has the common sense to give a sheepish expression.
“I want to see her. Just . . . just tell her I need to talk to her.”
“Talk to us,” Agent Brown says. I shake my head.
“Jesus, Sam, just let her talk to Dr. Richardson,” Eve snaps. It surprises me. Eve coming to my defense. I give a slight smile to her in thanks. Agent Brown stomps from the room, phone pressed to her ear.
“She’s all bark and no bite, I swear,” Eve says.
“Have you known her long?”
Eve nods to Salve and says, “Both of them. For the last year. Since I woke up. Since I escaped.”
I bite my lip and nod. Eve didn’t abandon Lotte. She’s been looking. How frustrating must it have been to know all this time that Holden was so near, yet not know how to find him. The drive was so long, the roads so twisty, barely a road, more like a seldom traveled path through the trees. I guess I would be angry, too, if I was her. The thing is—I’m not.
Detective Salve wheels me back to my room, where I wait for Dr. Richardson. I think about Eve and how she must struggle every day with her emotions regarding Lotte. I pick up the phone and dial the Clarks’ number. On the third ring, Ang picks up.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Ang, it’s me—Nora.”
“Hi, sweetie. How are you doing?” she asks.
I hesitate. “Okay, I guess. I’m talking to a psychiatrist. When can I see you again?”
“That’s wonderful, honey. I’m sure she will be able to help you so much. I don’t know, maybe this weekend Aubry and I can pop up for a visit. When are you being discharged?”
“Um, four more days, I think. Can you or Aubry pick me up? I don’t know how else to get home.”
“Of course, honey, of course.”
“Okay. Well, is Aubry there?”
“Here?”
“Yeah,” I say.
“Oh, sweet pea, no. She’s still at your house.” I smile at the thought.
“Thanks, Ang, I’ll call her cell. And see you this weekend?”
“Absolutely.”
I cradle the receiver in my hand long after Angela has hung up. I will call Aubry later this evening, when I have enough time to devote to catching up with her. Dr. Richardson should arrive any time now. I am watching mindless cable TV, when the nurse pops her head in.
“How ya doin’?”
I smile at her. “Bored but good.”
She chuckles and tells me she will come play a round of cards with me in a couple of hours.
The phone rings next to my bed. It is loud and startles me. I pick it up on the third ring, wondering if Dr. Richardson is calling to let me know she’s running late. “Hello?” There is silence a beat. “Hello? Is anyone there?” A groan, low and needy resonates in my ear.
“Only ever you.” His voice brings back memories of dark rooms, scars and pleasure rooted in pain. The air evaporates from my lungs.
“Holden?” The line goes dead. A small bit of hope blooms in my chest. I set the phone on the receiver. I jump when the door swings open. Dr. Richardson stops in her tracks.
“What is wrong?” How can she tell? I shake my head. “Nora, you’re pale as a ghost and trembling.”
Am I? I wring my hands together in my lap to still the tremors. “Nothing. I’m okay. You just startled me.”
She doesn’t believe my words—it’s written on her face. She thinks I am up to something. She sits in the chair near my bed and sets her bag down. Pulling a notebook and pen from it, she crosses her legs and flips to a clean page. Holden’s voice echoes in my head. Only ever you. Only ever you. And he is right, it will be only ever him.
“You wanted to talk?” I nod. “Start talkin,’ kiddo.”