Nora
Down on the banks of the wild river. I bow my head. I know he is watching, my clever devil. I wait, while he lurks. I strip my dress off slowly. One shoulder at a time. It slips down my arms, off my body, pooling around my feet. Leaves rustle and I know he is on the move for a better look. I keep my back to the woods. He likes to see his artwork. I step from my dress toward the water. I am lucky, because the day was so hot, the water will be warm still. I stop at the water’s edge, wiggle my toes in the clear water. The last of the day’s sun hits my back. I chance a look over my shoulder. I see him step from the tree line, a smirk on his face. I walk knee deep into the water.
“Nora.” His voice is ragged. I stretch, then dive forward. I can hold my breath for a long time. My parents used to count while I sunk to the bottom of a pool or lake to see how long I stayed under. I push my arms outward and surge forward. Bubbles sneak out my nose and up to the surface. Light undulates through the water. I turn and tread water with my arms to keep myself under. A splash dissolves the light and clarity around me in violent ripples. Holden swims, fully clothed toward me, eyes closed, hands frantically pawing about. I push up and break the surface of the water as Holden does.
He stares at me, wild eyed. I cock my head at him, watching the way water drips from his beard and ears and eyebrows. I swim to him. His arms pull me to his body with force.
“I . . .” I wrap my arms around his neck. “I thought . . .”
“Shh.” I kiss his nose and wrap my legs around his waist beneath the water. His expression grows stormy.
“Were you trying to scare me?”
“No.” I wiggle my hips against him. I like the way the water moves between our bodies.
“You shouldn’t do things like that,” he says. He is serious now.
“Like what? Swimming underwater or this,” I ask and move my center against his erection. He groans and I smile.
“Both.”
I lay my head on his shoulder and nuzzle my nose against his neck. “I knew you were watching me.”
“You’re mine to watch.”
“But I knew you liked what you saw. And I like that you worried about me.”
Holden says nothing in return but he does kiss the side of my head. “We need to get back.”
“Just a few more minutes,” I say and kiss his shoulder. He wades us back to shore and sets me down. I pout.
“Pout any more and I will give you something to pout about.” I cast my eyes to the ground, while he fetches my dress. It is freeing being naked outdoors and knowing there is no one around to catch you. When he returns, he lifts my chin with one hand, so we are eye to eye. “I know what you want.” My body trembles. Holden drops the dress and quickly scoops me into his arms. “And I will give it to you, but my way.” He carries me to the tree line. Setting me on my feet, I stand still, unsure what to expect. He drops his water logged pants and whirls me around so I face a tree. A hand runs down my back, slowly, lazily, decadently. I shiver as goose bumps break out down my spine.
“Hold on.” His voice is tight. I brace myself against the tree. The first thrust makes my hands slip. I smack my face on the bark. I welp. He leans forward and wraps my arms around the trunk. When I’m secure, he resumes. His pace is brutal and delicious. I push my rear end out slightly to take more of him. To better the angle. His fingers bite at the flesh of my hips as he pulls and pushes with his thrusts. I don’t need to see him to know he is near his orgasm. His breath speeds up and little grunts sound. But he stops.
I turn my head over my shoulder for a glimpse at him. “Holden?”
One hand works its way from my hip, until warm fingers hit my center. The other hand cups a breast. I moan loudly. “Ride my hand, Nora.”
Holden never asks twice, so I do as I am told. My body finds its own rhythm in no time. I cry out at the first small tingle of pleasure. Holden pulls away. His hands are on my shoulders. I spin. He moves my palms to his shoulders. “Hang on,” are the only words he utters. So I do. He lifts me up by my bum and slams us into the tree for leverage. I scream out. Some of the new additions to my back have not quite healed yet and the bark opens the scabs. His hands spread my ass wide as he slides inside me. First slowly. His eyes watching his cock slide in and out. In and out. The rhythm is more passion than frenzy and soon we pant in unison.
“Do you like what you see?” he asks. I bite my lip and nod because I do. Watching it happen is erotic. I lean into the tree so that we have more room between us to see. He thrusts in, holds, does a circle with his hips that nearly sends me into a frantic gyration, then slowly pulls out. “You’re squeezing me, Nora. Come,” he says. When I look up at him, he is watching me. How long was he watching me watch his cock pump in and out of me. I blush. He kisses my neck. He is beauty and honesty in raw form. I clasp his shoulders, yanking myself away from the tree and to him.
When I come, I howl in delight. We come together, wild in the woods. Feral, like animals.
I feel him running through my veins.
“Let’s play in the rain.” He lifts his dark brows, searching my eyes for confirmation, as if I can tell him no. I have a chill and do not want to get wet. “Of course,” I say. He grins and takes my hand. It is raining hard outside but he pulls me into the deluge any way.
“You have a raindrop running down your cheek, just like a tear.” I laugh because, of course, there is a raindrop on my face. The way he is standing against me, I can feel his thick length against the seam of my thighs. “I love the sound of your laugh.”
“Holden,” I hedge. He stares at me. “You’re the first and last person I’ll ever love.” I use my thumbs to wipe his jaw free of rain. His jaw clenches. Not a good sign. But he surprises me when he buries his face in my neck. Wildlife flashes through the trees, no doubt seeking shelter from the rain. A small bit of hope blooms in my chest. This life could be good. He pulls back and looks at me. “I wish you wouldn’t say things like that.” His lip twitches in response to some unknown thought. He lunges toward me, crushing his mouth against mine. I cling to him, trying to absorb the blackness he is fighting.
When he breaks the kiss, I am panting. “I love you, however I can,” he says. My heart nearly explodes in my chest. I am elated to hear those words leave his lips. His eyes possess a wild, barbarous aura. Maybe it’s the rain beating down on us. Maybe it is the words exchanged. “Now, Nora,” he says. A thrill runs through me at the sound of it coming off his tongue. Holden falls on top of me, his face buried in my shoulder. We are soaked to the bone and sated.
When we are finished. I warm a basin of water and wash his hair for him. He grins and murmurs sweet things in my ear as I take care of him.
Today has been a rough day. Silence hangs in a cloud of tension over us, punctuated only by the clatter of dishes and the splashing of water. My hands plunge into the soapy water with more force than necessary, soaking the front of my dress.
“You’re doing it wrong,” Holden yells. “How many times do I need to tell you?”
“Don’t yell at her!” My chest heaves in anger, and my pulse races through my tightened muscles. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. He backhands me across my cheek. I see stars. I yank Lotte’s arm and usher her into her room. “Goodnight,” I say.
When her door clicks shut behind me, I find Holden waiting for me.
His eyes are narrowed. There is a glimmer of hate reflected in them that I am used to. He drags his hand down over his mouth, past his chin.
“Now, Nora.” Wiping my sweaty palms on my nightgown, I nod.
I strip my clothes and take position. The cold metal of the blade does funny things to my insides. He makes many cuts tonight. I’m tempted to tell him to stop. It’s too much. But I do not. I let him. After long moments, he stops. His breathing is ragged. He has expended his anger. “You’re so beautiful like this.” He touches around the areas he’s cut. “You will be a work of art Nora. My greatest accomplishment.”
He pulls at my hips. I move onto my knees. He rounds me and kneels so he is face to face with me. “You are made for this.” His voice brings my entire body to attention.
He kisses me. He has one hand on my throat and one on my heart. Don’t let me go, I want to tell him. Face to face like this, time stands still. I want to give in. His taste is on my lips. I want to feed the fire that burns him up. The sheets will be stained with blood come morning but it’s no matter. I will wash them as always. Nothing can erase his mark on me. No amount of bleach or washing. I exhale. Relax into his touch. He releases my neck. The sensation is wicked, as his hands move over my skin. His mouth follows. His tongue tickling a path from my neck to my hip and around. He kisses the dimples above my buttocks. We are wicked together.
When we are finished he falls on top of me, his face buried in my shoulder.
“I am sorry for so many tonight.” I adjust myself, so that we face each other and his face between my hands. His eyes are intense, as they drink in my features.
“I forgive you,” I say. It is odd to be comforting him after what happened.
“You are the only one who understands me.”
“And loves you anyway.”
He buries his face in my neck. I close my eyes and wish the burning sensation on my back away.
In the morning, my cheek and left eye are swollen and red, and a bruise is beginning to bloom. My stomach is rotten and I cannot eat breakfast.