Nora
The bus ride to Pocketville was uneventful. I spoke to no one. I saw nothing exciting from the window and the TV’s were broken, so we didn’t get to watch a movie. Not that I would have. I read almost the entire time. Holden had instructed me to only bring necessities. I packed six books, three pairs of shorts, three tank tops, flip flops and sneakers, one sweatshirt, underwear, my journal, birth control pills and toothbrush and a photo of my parents before they died. I was used to living on next to nothing.
I step off the bus and stretch. The air is humid but comfortable. I feel a little unsteady as I look around. Almost three months is beginning to seem longer than I initially thought and it’s only been a bus ride.
“Nora,” Holden’s voice is deep and authoritative. His green eyes pierce mine when they connect. I walk to where he waits. His smile is broad and easy. He takes my backpack from me and puts it in the truck before he opens my door and helps me up. He tells me about how the ranch came into his family as we drive. He says he has a brother that wanted nothing to do with the land and hasn’t visited since his parents passed away years ago.
Lastly, he tells me about Eve. His ex-girlfriend. About how she snuck off in the night without the decency of saying goodbye to him or Lotte. The drive takes us out of Pocketville, up a twisty dirt road. Twice we stop. Each time at a locked gate with a no trespassing sign attached to it. I watch as Holden pops out of the truck at each one and unlocks the gate, pulls us through, then hops out again to lock it behind us. I feel uneasy at the locked gates. There is no one out here, no neighbors I’ve been able to see from the road or even other driveways. There’s no reason to need locked gates.
“Lotte is excited to meet you,” he says before grinning at me.
“I’m excited, too. I brought her a gift.” I jam my hands between my legs, unsure what to do with them. Small talk isn’t my forte.
“What kind of gift?”
“Some books I read when I was her age.”
Holden grins so big, his teeth show. They’re white but not perfectly straight. It gives him character. “She will love that. I don’t bring home enough books for her.”
“Great. Maybe when we head into Pocketville, I can pick some out for her to read over the rest of the summer.” Holden reaches over and pats my knee while still wearing a big grin.
“She is going to be over the moon.” I stifle my urge to flinch at the contact. His hand lingers only a moment before he removes it and I shift in my seat toward the window slightly. Holden pulls over at the crest of a gorge. He jumps out of the truck, grunting for me to do the same. I follow his lead. He stops at the edge of the cliff. We’re surrounded by a forest of evergreens, and I hear water rushing in the distance. The big, open sky in front of us at the gorge shows miles upon miles of endless forest, valleys roll all the way down to a turquoise lake to the north. We were at least fifty miles out of Pocketville. The terrain this far was rough but manageable in his truck at a slow speed. How much further out could his house be? “I have nearly two thousand acres,” he says. I look from the land before me to him. “It can be isolating, remote, even, but look at all that beauty.” I nod in agreement, despite a sudden surge of nerves rushing my bloodstream. A sigh escapes me and Holden looks at me.
“Don’t worry, Nora. All you have to do is help Lotte with her lessons and maybe help out with a meal once in a while.”
I force a small smile. “Oh, I know,” I say. The way Holden looks me over makes my belly heat. I feel a blush creep up from my chest but Holden looks away and makes his way back to the truck, so I follow. The air feels different here. More peaceful, quiet. The clouds shift. I shield my eyes from the sudden brightness of the sun. Maybe here, in the fresh air, nestled in the trees, things will be better for me. I can heal and move forward.
We drive another twenty minutes. Holden whistles nonsensical tunes as we go. We drive slowly over a terrifying suspension bridge. My knuckles turn white from squeezing the door handle so tightly. Holden laughs at me and says the bridge is just fine. We pull into a clearing a moment later. The house is a cabin and is rustic at best. He puts the truck in park and gets out. I sit for a moment and stare at my home for the next few months.
Holden opens my door. Helps me down from his truck, and my feet crunch on gravel as they land. His eyes slide up every inch of me. It sets my soul on fire in a way I’ve never experienced before. He releases my hand and runs his through his long hair. A young girl runs at me. She is all smile and big doe eyes. Long hair streams out behind her as she runs.
“Hi! I’m Lotte! You must be Nora!” Everything she says is punctuated with enthusiasm. She grabs my hand and tugs. I look to Holden and he laughs. It’s a full laugh. Manly. Baritone. I can almost feel it. I take that as a cue to follow young Lotte. “I am so excited you’re here.”
“Me too,” I say. She pulls me onto the rickety farmer’s porch, then into the house. At the back of the one long room are two doors. Lotte tells me that’s her room and Holden’s while pointing at each. My room is off the front porch. I think maybe it was a woodshed at one point, since there is no interior door to it in the cabin. There is no electricity. Gas lamps and a woodstove provide heat and light. There is a well with a big cast iron handle attached to it for hand pumped water. There is no plumbing. Unease takes root in my belly but I remind myself that I knew some of this. That Holden had explained to me that they lived off the land.
Lotte pulls me by the hand to meet Dee the cow. “I named her,” she says. Next I meet the three goats, four pigs and an assortment of chickens running loose on the property. “Did you name all them, too?” I ask after she’s properly introduced me to them.
Lotte shakes her head. “No, Eve named some of them. And some had names before.”
“I see. Do you miss Eve?”
Lotte’s eyes dart around nervously. “Shh,” she says. “We’re not supposed to talk about her. He doesn’t like it.”
“Who doesn’t like it?”
“Holden.” Her voice is so quiet, I have to lean in to hear her.
“Oh. Okay,” I answer but I don’t feel like it is okay. I think it is strange the way Lotte’s eyes look scared at the mention of Eve’s name.
“Let’s go back to the house,” she says, while reaching out for my hand. I take her hand and let her lead the way.
When we get to my room, I stop short in the doorway. Holden is laying out my belongings on the bed. “Hey, beautiful, hope you don’t mind.” He calls me beautiful like it’s my name. I do mind but I say nothing. He’s just being helpful, I tell myself.
“Lotte, why don’t you come with me. Let’s let Nora get settled before dinner.” Lotte pouts but follows direction. When Holden passes me on his way out, his shoulder brushes mine. Bare skin on bare skin. His skin is as smooth and as cool as his voice. There is something about Holden, some kind of electricity I’ve never experienced before.
I shut the door to my room and look around. The walls are more like wooden slats. Bits of light leak in from the slits and knotty holes between boards. I set my clothes in the three drawers of the basic dresser. I stack my books next to the bed and I set the picture of my parents on the nightstand. I brush my finger over their smiling faces and send up a silent prayer that being here is exactly what I need right now.